Ok so I've had a few reviews saying I've treated Sam too harshly, this was because they were mainly Jack and Dan's POV, Jack was still hurt about what Sam did to him and Dan was dealing with a new step-dad he was feeling violated by his mom.

Thanks for all the reviews they've been really helpful

This chapter is dedicated to Sam and explains a few things from her POV.

Please review and see if I've got the balance right.

As Sam left Jack's house she let a long breath out that she didn't know she's been holding in. Well it had certainly gone very differently than she'd expected, but then she didn't know what she'd been expecting but what ever it was it wasn't that. Had she been expecting him just to be waiting for her to return, she'd definitely not done that as she looked down at the wedding band on her finger.

She'd always prided herself in having a good relationship with her son, a close relationship. Maybe that just wasn't true, had she been such a bad mother to him that he couldn't talk to her anymore even about something so instrumental as his father. She'd never really spoken in depth with Dan about Jack but he'd never really asked and she'd always promised herself that when he wanted to know about Jack she would tell him everything.

Sam sat in her car for a long time just thinking about the past and how things had become so screwed up over the years. There'd always been something between her and Jack but neither had been brave enough to act upon it. Then she'd met Andy and things had gotten serious, looking back on it Sam could see that Andy was just a substitute for Jack, he loved her and she'd thought that she loved him.

Then after a mission in which they'd been captured and drugged a strange feeling had come over Sam it was almost an animal instinct, she felt compelled to be with Jack, she needed Jack. No matter how much she tried to fight it the urges just got stronger. She drove home almost in autopilot and got changed into the most revealing clothes she could find. All coherent thought had gone from her head, she couldn't have stopped even if she wanted to.

When she got to Jack's house he was on his roof stargazing Sam knew she was being crazy but it was as if she was possessed. As she lay in his bed later watching him sleep she realised that if she didn't leave at that very second she would never be able to. It had felt do right, so perfect as she went out of his room she was sobbing quietly over what could never be.

Then watching his face when she told him one of the best nights of her life had been a mistake nearly killed her, she would have liked nothing better then for him to draw her into his arms and tell her everything would be ok. But she knew they wouldn't eventually someone would find out and then they'd have to deal with the repercussions, he would offer to retire and then be fine for a few months but she knew Jack O'Neill he'd get bored and miss the thrill of gate travel then he'd end up blaming Sam.

Sam then went to see Janet and asked her to do a blood work up to see if there was any foreign bodies in her blood from their last mission. There were traces of a virus much like the one of the touched but not as strong which explained Sam's mood the night before, she didn't tell Janet that of course. After that night whenever she looked at his she saw Jack not Colonel or sir the man that was supposed to be there, but the man she had given her heart to. She could not work with him after that her mind always went back to that night.

With a heavy heart she asked Hammond for a transfer and then left with Andy. When she found out she was pregnant she didn't think for a second that it was Jack's and Andy was so excited at the prospect at being a father, the night with Jack was almost like a dream now, it was a different life time ago, but when she worked out the dates she wasn't so sure. It was the hardest decision of her life telling Andy. Most women would have not said anything for risk of becoming a single mom but it just didn't feel right to lie.

When she told him he was shocked but stood by her, they had to wait until the baby was born before they could do the test and when it came back negative Sam felt numb, the son Andy had loved so dearly when born now repulsed him, he left them and Sam didn't blame him.

She had not heard from Jack in all the time she'd been away, he'd called at the beginning but when she didn't reply he gave up, Sam had a feeling her dad had had something to do with that, Jack O'Neill would not give up without a good reason. Now she was faced with what was she going to tell Jack, she knew he'd want to be part of Daniel's life if only out of principal and would probably do something chivalrous like ask her to marry him. She did not want to force Jack into anything, telling him now would only reopen old wounds, he'd probably moved on; she had her life he had his.

Sam knew those reasons didn't justify not telling Jack if she went back and saw him again she knew she'd never leave, that wasn't a bad thing now but later on it could be, they hardly knew anything about each other personally. If they got together and things didn't work out it would be their son that suffered, he was her main priority. She later blamed her decisions on prenatal depression, with that looking after a baby and losing her partner she had too much to think of without getting an angery Jack in the equation.

She did try to tell him so many times but it didn't seem fair to just call him up and tell him about the son he knew nothing about then calmly go, well bye then. After losing her little girl Sam knew what it was like to have your child taken away so ruthlessly and how much she treasured Daniel because of it. It was then that she finally had the courage to call Jack, when she couldn't reach him she called Janet, she was shocked to hear from Sam after all of this time but informed her that Jack had just moved away and wasn't sure when he was coming back. (A.N. Season 7 ender)

She'd never tried to get in contact with him again, thinking he'd call her if he wanted to but he never did. Then she'd met Pete an ex-cop turned schoolteacher and moved back to Colorado. Whenever she looked at Dan Sam saw Jack, it was hard not to. She would always be guilty for what she had done to Jack but at the time it had seemed like the right thing to do.

Seeing him again had brought it all back to her like a tonne of bricks he had a right to know his son, she'd been wrong to keep him a secret. Seeing Jack with those boys had almost made her cry, he wasn't even properly related to those boys but you could tell that he loved them deeply and they loved him too, they were just having a normal afternoon but her son had never had a father figure, these boys had at least 2.

He had looked so happy with Daniel and Janet's kids in the shop, she'd never seen him that relaxed and carefree he seemed a totally different man to the one who had contemplated suicide all those years ago. His house that had once been so devoid of emotion and personal possessions was a real family home with toys on the floor and photos plastering everywhere. Callum had certainly done wonders for Jack O'Neill.

Sam had never intended for things to turn out the way they had, it had just happened, she hoped that she would be able to become friends with Jack again but knew that solely depended upon him. He deserved to know the truth about why she left but that night was not the time to do it, Jack needed to calm down and have time to think things through, he son needed to hear her side of things before he made his mind up about what type of person she was, he needed the truth.

With that in her mind Sam turned on the engine and drove off ready to face the music.
That's Sam's POV, I think it shows why she didn't tell Jack and when she finally got the courage to do it he'd gone and got frozen.