Author's Note: Actually… I think I'll leave this until the end…
Disclaimer: Okay, no one Harry Potter related is mine and this beautiful song belongs to Muse. Matthew Bellamy you are a lyrical and musical genius!
Unintended
Scaramouche Jay
You could be my unintended
Choice to live my life extended
You could be the one I'll always love
The wind whipped through the trees and tugged at the collars of the four silent shadows as they picked their way across the grounds, keeping to the darkest places, desperate not to be spotted from the glowing warmth of the castle windows, crossing the neatly kept grounds when they should be safe and warm tucked up in their beds, dreaming peacefully of all manner of delightful things. Never of things that went bump in the night.
Four shadows for five people.
Those under the spell of the cloak leave no shadow, but their heart beats fast and slow, soft and loud. Their breath still catches in their throat as they watch four shadows melt into the foreboding shadows of the forest that they have been taught to fear in spite of all curiosities about what lies within. They still must screw up every ounce of courage they have as they follow these four shadows, determined and certain that it is the only way that the four shadows will come out again. Desperately sure that they have to do this. It was she, after all, who had driven them in there.
To my deepest inquisitions
You could be the one I'll always love
"Can I speak to you for a minute? There's something I have to tell you…"
His voice echoed around and around her head. The nervous look on his face, the look of complete apprehension but hope in his eyes, the way he licked his lips and seemed to screw up his courage, determination and then regret. Sitting alone, seeming so small as she stood up and walked away. Left him sitting by the window and went to anywhere but near him. The way she avoided him in the corridors and the way apprehension flashed across his face every time he saw her, worried that she might give away his secret. But that pain soon turned to anger when he saw her. He refused to listen. Storming off every time she tried to talk to him, to explain. Just because she couldn't deal with reality.
She hated that.
At night, she had dreamt about it. She woke in a cold sweat as she awoke from the fear that consumed her as she fought in vain against the caress of the moon. The pain as she felt her bones snap and contort, her body grow hair and her hunger rise, the frustration that she could not break free into the open, that she could not sate it; and then the way she got revenge on her weakness, scraping and tearing at her own body, the blood running down every inch of herself as she was trapped alone with the monster she was forced to become. But that was her fate; her only release the premature death that was inevitable, her body too weakened to cope with another transformation. Tears came to her eyes when she looked at the full moon, a sight that had once brought such joy and the promise of romance, and thought of how her dreams were becoming reality for him, his fate inextricably bound to the cycle of that orb she had once so loved.
And still she couldn't talk to him. She couldn't meet his gaze. She had felt so helpless, but now, she thought, it must have been nothing in comparison to the feelings of powerlessness and vulnerability he got every time as he fought in vain against it. Or maybe he had accepted it by now. Resigned himself to it. Maybe he had become accustomed to the dull ugly ache he had described feeling to her, every time he thought of the monster that he felt lay within him.
But I'm busy mending broken
Pieces of the life I had before
It was dark amongst the trees. Dark and cold and damp. A chill breeze whistled amongst the trees and she struggled to see which way they turned, their shadows indistinguishable from that of the trees, their voices impossible to make out as they whispered to each other, smothered by the cracking of the brittle bows over head, and the shuffle of invisible feet belonging to unknown beings. Beings that could be friend or foe. It was impossible to know which until it was too late.
She was uncertain as to whether she would ever be able to find her way out again, and hoped those she watched were more certain of their route than she. The cloak did impair her vision a little and so she could not see the subtle differences between the trees they wove between and the paths she took. And although she knew the eyes she felt couldn't see her, she knew they felt her presence, and smelt her fear as their patient gaze fell on her. They could not get to her. Even creatures as dark as these could not prey on the invisible. It was too risky. There were others, more powerful and potent. They didn't want them to know where they skulked and hid amongst the shadows. They valued their skins in the same way that humans valued theirs. They felt the pain as others of their kind departed from this world and did not want that to be their premature fate. But if they watched and waited, they knew they would discover who it was that was their invisible guest. Sooner or later something bigger and more deadly than themselves would find a way to see them, and then, it would not be them who made a premature departure from this life.
All my dreams and all my balance
She could never be as good as you
It was funny, she thought. That you could care so much and keep your distance, even when it was the complete opposite of what you wished to do. What everyone thought you should do.
Because it's for the best, she had said.
But why?
She still couldn't answer that.
Maybe she had thought that by telling her he was pushing he away. Maybe he had meant the opposite. She might never know now. Because instead of comforting him, telling him it wasn't true as he fought tears when he spoke of the monster he was, she had forsaken him.
Despite this desertion she had had the audacity to be jealous of him and the relationships he had with others. But not with her. She had made sure it would never be her. But it was no ones fault but her own that he didn't look at her with his honey eyes or sit with her at lunch or flick notes at her in lessons. Because when he had come to her, told her the deepest darkest truth about himself, she had turned away. In him the full moon had fulfilled its promise of romance, but she was too blind to see it, to have it. Instead she could only reject it. She didn't deserve it.
Yes, it was funny how you could do that.
You could be my unintended
Choice to live my life extended
You should be the one I'll always love
The forest was getting darker and darker now, as the trees grew closer and closer together. Their leaves blocked out what little light the sickle moon was casting upon them. But still she followed her shadows, until they broke through into the clearing, where there was no wind. There were no trees, and the light could cast into relief the reality of the forest that she was in. But she didn't have time to take it in.
A howl shattered the relative quiet of the forest and her blood ran cold. It was behind her. She had no more time to tell them, convince them to come back with her, to the castle where it was safe and warm. The four she was pursuing doubled back on themselves, heading back across the clearing, towards the noise. They had always been ones for seeking out trouble. Only this time, they seemed to be taking that tradition a little too far. But they stopped and she wondered why.
Then she could see it. Huge and dark as it slunk out from amongst the grey of the tree trunks. It had eyes of amber that seemed to flash and burn with a hidden fire, desperately yearning for the flesh that it had been denied before. Of the four shadows, she could see three changing, growing extra limbs and long snouts. There was only one who stood alone. She wanted to call out to him, tell him he was foolish and stupid and should just turn back. But she couldn't. The words stuck in her throat.
And as the beast made its monstrous call, he answered it, howling long and loud, curdling the blood of his invisible watcher. It was somehow worse, to hear that noise from the throat of someone you knew, whom you trusted, than it was to hear it come from the slavering brute that stood before her.
But then there wasn't a monstrous beast before her, but upon her. A cloak may hide you from the eyes of others but her scent was too strong.
She couldn't feel much. She couldn't see much. She couldn't hear much. It felt strangely like she wasn't in her body, that she was watching form a safe distance, but the smell that filled her throat let her know that wasn't the case. She was conscious of a warm, wet, sticky substance that she was lying in and she thought what a pity it was to ruin this lovely cloak. She was sure someone would wash it on her behalf.
Then the weight pressing on her chest was released, and she suddenly became acutely aware of the sound and sights around her, feeling for the first time, but not seeming to care. At least if she was still bleeding, she knew she was alive. Her heart was still pumping fast and slow, soft and loud and her breath still caught in her throat... But she couldn't be left to think on this in peace, because someone was insisting on screaming loud hexes and charms, shooting bright blue sparks from the tip of their wand to light up the grey, still clearing that had so quickly become such a frenzied and colourful place, blood red stains bringing colour to everything she touched. No matter. The stains can be washed away and forgotten. She was sure she would be forgiven.
She felt a warm hand, strange against her fading skin.
She saw a face, its eyes were screwed up, amber and gold staring into her own in shock and disbelief.
She heard a voice, and was aware that she was smiling as it questioned her. She could feel her heart slowing and knew it wouldn't be long. She heard them repeat their question and could feel other eyes burning into her, into him. She should tell him, help him to understand.
"Because I love you silly."
I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken
Pieces of the life I had before
Author's Note: Well, what do you think? That was another depressing one-shot songfic alá Scaramouche Jay! I thought I was rather neglecting my roots as an angst writer what with Sirius running around being generally fluffy… So I thought I'd tear down his good friend and personally my favourite marauder, Remus J. Lupin. I hope you enjoyed… If that's the right sentiment for this kind of story…
Please review as I would really appreciate knowing how well you think this went! Thank you for taking the time to read this!