Title: The Monster's Alphabet

Author: alliterator

Summary: A series of vignettes, from Adam to Zookeeper. Spoilers for all seven seasons.

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine; everything belongs to the great and power Whedon.

Dracula

Spoilers for Season 5's "Buffy vs. Dracula."

"But you're not going to catch him napping in a crypt. No, 'The Count' has to
have his luxury estate and his bug-eaters and his special dirt, doesn't he?"

- Spike in Buffy vs. Dracula

It was 9:32 pm when the poker game began. There were five players: a Cerastes demon, who was nervously dripping venom; a Volucer Volucris, who held his cards in his antennae; a Lacerta demon, who always hissed when he had a full house; a Lentusum demon, who always left slime on the cards; and a vampire, who was going to win, especially since he was cheating.

It was London, 1942, and German bombs were exploding outside the ratty bar in which the poker game was taking place. The demons didn't care; it just meant more food to them. Spike was only worried that Drusilla might wonder out from the hotel room and be hit by shrapnel, but he knew she would wait for him.

By 10:45 pm, Spike's cheating had paid off; he had won about 90 pounds. That was when a mist came under the door and into the room. All the demons, except for Spike, covered their mouths, thinking it was gas, but it soon coalesced into the form of a pale vampire with a dark cloak.

"Gentlemen," he said, "do you know who I am?"

"Don't really care mate," Spike said.

"I am a son of Satan, the Devil's own disciple," the pale vampire said, ignoring Spike. "I am Dracula."

"What do you want?" Spike said impatiently.

"I'd like to join you for a game of cards," Dracula said.

"Uh… okay," the Lacerta demon said.

"Now wait a minute," Spike stood up. "We're already in the middle of a game. You have to wait until it's over."

"I do have money to wager," Dracula said taking out a large stack of bills.

Spike looked at them and said, "Well, why didn't you say something, mate. Sit down, get a glass of blood, and let's get started."

Over the course of the next hours, Dracula preceded to win all the games. Spike used every trick in the book, but it seemed Dracula always had a way to beat him.

Finally, at 12:21 pm, a bomb exploded near the bar and Spike was able to successfully slip an ace into his hand without anyone noticing. He wanted to win this pot, not because it was particularly big (it was only nine pounds), but because he wanted to show up Dracula and show that he was better.

Dracula added another two pounds into the pot and the Cerastes, the Volucer Volucris, the Lacerta, and the Lentusum all folded.

"Well, my friend," Dracula said to Spike, "I guess it is just between you and me now."

"Guess so," Spike said smugly. "Show your hand."

Dracula did and, unsurprisingly, it was a full house. Spike showed his hand and the other demon's gasped at the straight flush. This was the first time anyone had beaten Dracula.

"Well," Dracula said looking down at the cards, "I guess the best vampire won."

"I guess I did," Spike said with a wide grin on his face.

"I think now, I will be departing," Dracula said.

"Too bad," Spike said, "this was just starting to get good."

"I'm glad you enjoyed our game," Dracula said. "Good night." Then he turned to mist and left out onto the London street.

"You have to wonder how he does that," the Cerastes said.

"It's a bloody parlor trick," Spike said. "It doesn't mean…" It was then that Spike looked at the table and saw that there was no money left. He bounded over the table and ran outside, but Dracula was already gone. Spike looked around and then hit the wall with his fist. "Bugger."