"This is Wolfwood, at your service!" I offer my hand out to...myself. Weird, huh? It's probably because I'm standing in front of a mirror right now, practicing my speech. Gotta have charisma! "So very nice to meet you! May I ask you name?" I give a cheesy grin, and so does the mirror.

See, every morning I meditate. Then I stop after three seconds. After I meditate, I practice balancing on egg on my Dad's gun...and it's not so easy. Sounds familiar, huh? Well, it's because my Dad taught me how to do all of this. He said that it gives you energy for the day. And what does this have to do with talking to myself? Absolutely nothing!

Okay...so you're probably very confused right now, eh? You think I'm someone else, but some other someone else at the same time, huh? Well, I'm not Nicholas D. Wolfwood. And I'm not Vash the Stampede. How about both of them put together? Yea, actually. I'm not liked fused together with them. Confused?

Well, my name's Alex T. Wolfwood. The T stands for Tenshi, which means 'angel' in Japanese. Gay name, huh? But coming from two gay men, what did you expect?

I was born...err...made...err...whatever...by Doctor, Dad's friend. Doctor is a medical doctor. Duh. Anyways, my fathers, Vash and Nick fell in love. Vash told Nick that after he settled a dispute with Knives, that they would settle down together in Nick's orphanage, and take care of the children. They even decided to have one of their own. But, duh, they're both guys! They can't conceive a baby! Alas! That's when Doctor comes in! Muwahaha! He agreed to genetically create a child with Vash and Nick's genes. Whoopie! I was made! Biologically, Vash is my dad, and Nick is my mom... Weird, huh?

The sad part is, Nick had died before I was completed. So, I have never met him. Which totally sucks. But Dad always tells me stories about him. The priest that smoked, drank, cussed, gambled, cheated, and killed. Dad and I believe that he's in heaven right now, no matter how many sins he had committed in his life. He didn't die sinning, if anything that moment had made him a new man.

Dad still cries, although it has been 16 years since his death. He says that every time he looks at me, he sees Nick inside of me, including my nose, eyes, and skin color. Everything else is like Vash. My facial structure, hair color, and the love for red. I'm also a pacifist, and damn sexy. Haha. A bit humorous, too.... Slash that; a lot humorous...if that makes any sense.

Speaking of not making any sense. Millie and Meryl. I sometimes wonder how Dad could POSSIBLY put up with those two. What's really funny, is that Meryl gets really P.O.ed when I call her Grandma. Which I do all the time. Which always results in a blow to the head. Maybe that's why I'm so weird...I can't think straight! I swear, with as many times she has smacked me, I must've lost at least half of my brain cells! Or maybe it's the blondeness. Yes. I think that's it. Don't ya know that the blonde sinks into you scalp and makes your brain deteriorate right then and there? Yea! I've been suffering from this horrible disease for 15 years now. Right...

I guess I should go get dressed sometime today. I mean, it is 11:00 am, and Victor is waiting for me downstairs. Victor is one of the orphans at our church, and he is also my best friend. Like me, he is very strange, and loves to get into trouble. What's really weird, is that we often do things in unison. Dad told me that him and Nick did stuff in unison, too.

After I got dressed, I headed downstairs, and said 'Hi' to a couple nuns. As I was heading towards the main room, I got attacked by a heard of rapid children. Yes, rapid. They were foaming at the mouth! Or it could've been whipped cream, because they are currently whacking me with the can as I try to escape.

"OW!! Couldn't you just be a tad more gentle?!?" I beg the small children.

"NO! Alex! It's fun! Pwease pway whif wus?" God...they are just so cute, yet some of 'em can be really evil! Like that one hitting me on my balls! AH! I'm sure I was one of the evil ones when I was their age..oh well!

"NoooOOOoooOOo! I've gotta go meet Vic! I'll play later! Okay?" Thank the Lord they finally let go, and let me be... After having my arm torn from it's socket.

"Sup, Ally?"

"Nothing much, I just got mauled by the kids again. Usual stuff. How 'bout you, Vic?" I walked over to Vic and put my arm on his shoulder.

"Same here. So, where'd you want to go today?" He asks, while we head toward the front door.

"Come on, I'll show you!" I dragged him out the front door of the church, stopping to pick up our guns.

"What're we doing? Come on, tell me! ALLY! Are you listening?!" Victor is getting annoyed with me. Haha. I'm listening, you just don't know!

"Wait and see. 'Kay?" I hop into the car, and Victor gets in, too.

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a/n: disclaimer: don't own anything, except for Alex and Victor...and the plot of this story...I don't mind you using Alex...just say he's MINE!! Haha...