Team Rocket Meets Lupin III (and
Company)
Note: Of course, another Team Rocket fan fiction. This time, Team Rocket crosses paths with Lupin III.
"Oh, I get it Paul. Back on that "time is money" kick again."—Joe "I'm not back on it Joe, I'm still on it."—Paul (spoken dialogue from the They Might Be Giants song "Snowball In Hell")
Chapter 1—Funny How A Broken Down Car Brings People Together...
Team Rocket had just returned from another defeat trying to catch Pikachu. "As hard as we try, he eludes us.", James sobbed. "Oh, one of these days, we'll get 'em. You'll see, James.", Jessie said, optimistically. "Yeah, right ! I'd like to see that.", Meowth muttered. Jessie knocked him upside the head. "OW !", Meowth whined. "Keep a positive attitude, visualize your goal ! That is the true way to victory !", Jessie said. "You sicken me, Jessie ! You sound like a chapter from a self-help booklet !"—Meowth thought, pretending to gag. "Come on, let's go home. I'm sure we can watch Japan's Funniest Home Videos tonight. That'll take our mind off our losses.", James said, sighing heavily. On their walk home, they saw a white Fiat speed past their home. Jessie's eyes widened. "J-James ?", she said, pointing to the speeding Fiat that was slowing down. "What ?", he said. He looked and saw that the car had lost momentum and came to a stop. "Not the battery ! NOOO !", Jigen said, getting out of the car and kicking it. Lupin and Goemon got out of the Fiat. "Great, now we're stuck !", Lupin lamented. "Maybe we can ask those two strangely dressed people yonder if they will let us stay at their house for a while ?", Goemon mused aloud. "Well...?", Jigen said, taking a smoke. Lupin shrugged his shoulders. "There's not a place around for miles. We don't have much of a choice.", Lupin said. Jessie was speechless. James was becoming jealous of him. "Just because he's a sharp dresser shouldn't make him better than yours truly !", James thought, crossing his arms. "Ooh, envy rears its ugly head !", Meowth snickered. "Silence !", James said, shushing Meowth. Lupin sauntered up to Jessie, "Ma'am ? Is it fine with you that we should stay here ?" "Uh, ha, ha...Anytime ! I'm Jessie from Team Rocket ! And, I already know who you are...You, of course, are Lupin III, master thief !", Jessie said. "Never heard of you...", James said, sarcastically. Of course, he was lying. "What do you mean you've never heard of me ?", Lupin asked, a little angrily. He laughed, and slapped him on the back. "No hard feelings for you or your girlfriend, ok ?", he said, slyly. James' face turned bright red and his fists were clenched. His temper became increasingly worse as he watched Jessie escort Lupin and the others to their house. In the car, another member of Lupin's gang came out. Fujiko had been asleep for a while, and she had just awakened. She looked at the Fiat. "Lemme guess...The Fiat ran out of gas. Jeez ! I knew I should've taken the motorcycle today. But, oh well.", Fujiko said, throwing her hair up. James' temper turned to love. "Ha, ha, ha, ha...", he laughed nervously. "I guess I stay here tonight.", she said, with a smile. "Anytime !", James said, smiling with glee.
Chapter 2—Team Rocket Plans To Catch Pikachu !
After everybody woke up, everyone had breakfast. "Anybody here know how to fix a car ?", Lupin asked, devouring the rest of his breakfast. "I do...", James said. "N-no...I mean, nobody knows how to fix a car here.", Jessie said. James fumed. He stormed over to Jessie and whispered in her ear, "Why did you do that, Jessie ?" "They could be of use to us...", Jessie whispered back. James crossed his arms and pouted. "Oh, so that's how it is !", James shouted. "Jeez, what's wrong with James ?", Lupin asked. "He's just a little uptight. He's always like that.", Jessie said, smiling. Meowth laughed. James groaned and left the room.
Later in the day, Jessie discussed with Lupin and his gang how they could help them catch Pikachu. "This is weird...I don't see what's so important about Pickachu.", Jigen said, taking another smoke. Jessie coughed. Jigen pardoned himself for not knowing that Jessie couldn't stand the smell of smoke in her house, so he got up from the couch and smoked outside. "Well, I suppose we could all team up, for this one time...and then, James can fix our car.", Lupin said. "JAMES !", Jessie screamed. Goemon lowered his head and tsked. James came into the family room and whimpered. "Yes, dear ?", he said, nervously. He sweat-dropped. "Did you tell Lupin that you knew how to fix cars ?", Jessie asked, the vein on her forehead looking like it was about ready to explode. "N-now dearest, whatever gave you that idea ?", he said, his hands in front of him. "Excuse me, guys...", Jessie said, marching up to James. A brief scuffle occurred, and dust and dirt was everywhere. When it was over, James looked rather beaten. Everyone in Lupin's gang clapped, even Jigen who had witnessed the fight from outside. "What entertainment !", Goemon said, clapping. Jessie winked at Lupin and Fujiko gave him a mean look. She then gave a mean look to Jessie, and James felt his heart soar again. "Ahhh...", he said, seeming to float her way, but before he got there, he fell down when Jessie said through clenched teeth, "Come on. We have a Pikachu to catch..."
Chapter 3—Pikachu May Be Cute, But...
That afternoon, after eating an elaborate lunch, the gang had left the Rockets' house and went to Cerulean City. "If we're lucky, those punk kids will be here soon.", Jessie said, greedily rubbing her hands together. "We've got a great trap set up here. No way Ash and his friends will be able to be able to get out of this...", James commented. Lupin rubbed his fist on his chest. "Yep, yep, yep. And, it was my genius that made it possible.", he said. In the background, Misty was laughing at Brock. "One of these days, I am gonna get a nice looking girl...Maybe even Joy !", Brock said, his fists clenched to his chest. Misty laughed even harder. Ash was in hysterics as well. "That'll be the day, Brock. That'll be the day !", Ash noted. Around them, the net beneath them sprung up and entrapped them. "Great time to be tied up...", Brock said. "That is not very funny, Brock.", Misty said, angrily. Ash's face was one of terror..."Hey, they've got Pikachu !" Pikachu was then caught in a rubber bag squealing "Pika ! PIKA!" "NO !", Ash and his friends cried in unison. Jessie, James and Meowth taunted, "Ha, ha, ha !" Jigen, a little curious, wanted to see what Pikachu actually looked like. "N- no...Don't do that !", Jessie and James said in unison. "Why not ?", Jigen said, holding Pikachu in his hand. "Aw, he's cute !", Fujiko said, tickling Pikachu's chin. Pikachu then gave them all a shock. The shock was so grand that it burned the ropes of the net and freed Ash and his friends. Lupin and gang, and Team Rocket were all in a dog pile, singed to a crisp. "So much for getting a suntan this year...", Jessie whined, crying. "Will you shut up ?!", Meowth yelled. "Yeah, shut up !", Lupin and his friends exclaimed. Laughing all the way to the way home, Team Rocket again knew what defeat was.
Chapter 4—So Much For Teamwork...
After fixing Lupin's Fiat, James was repaid with a hug from Fujiko. "Ah, I don't want her to leave ! Uh, I mean...Nice working with you !", James said. Jessie gave James a mean look and muttered, "Remember, James...I'm your girlfriend." "So much for teamwork...You guys are pathetic !", Lupin said, laughing. "Yeah, really. I can't wait to get back on the road and start treasure hunting...", Jigen said. "You have spirit, but, really, you guys stink when it comes to trapping Pokemon...", Goemon said, chuckling. As they left, Jessie and James wailed, hugging each other. "AHHH ! We'll always be losers !", they said. "Maybe I should just find a different Team to hang out with...or, become a mascot. That always brings in big bucks.", Meowth said, his head lowered. He walked back towards the house, looking back to watch Lupin's Fiat disappear into the horizon. Then, he looked at Jessie and James and laughed. "Lupin was right...Team Rocket really is pathetic.", Meowth thought, walking back to the house.
Epilogue: No matter how hard they try, they fail. One can say they are stupid to go on, but at least they've got great spirit and "can-do" attitudes. Besides all that, they've got great fashion sense...and not very many villains are lucky enough to have that ! )
Questions, comments, recipes ? Send them to "Razor" at bberndtscican.net
By: Elizabeth Berndt
April 25, 1999
Note: Of course, another Team Rocket fan fiction. This time, Team Rocket crosses paths with Lupin III.
"Oh, I get it Paul. Back on that "time is money" kick again."—Joe "I'm not back on it Joe, I'm still on it."—Paul (spoken dialogue from the They Might Be Giants song "Snowball In Hell")
Chapter 1—Funny How A Broken Down Car Brings People Together...
Team Rocket had just returned from another defeat trying to catch Pikachu. "As hard as we try, he eludes us.", James sobbed. "Oh, one of these days, we'll get 'em. You'll see, James.", Jessie said, optimistically. "Yeah, right ! I'd like to see that.", Meowth muttered. Jessie knocked him upside the head. "OW !", Meowth whined. "Keep a positive attitude, visualize your goal ! That is the true way to victory !", Jessie said. "You sicken me, Jessie ! You sound like a chapter from a self-help booklet !"—Meowth thought, pretending to gag. "Come on, let's go home. I'm sure we can watch Japan's Funniest Home Videos tonight. That'll take our mind off our losses.", James said, sighing heavily. On their walk home, they saw a white Fiat speed past their home. Jessie's eyes widened. "J-James ?", she said, pointing to the speeding Fiat that was slowing down. "What ?", he said. He looked and saw that the car had lost momentum and came to a stop. "Not the battery ! NOOO !", Jigen said, getting out of the car and kicking it. Lupin and Goemon got out of the Fiat. "Great, now we're stuck !", Lupin lamented. "Maybe we can ask those two strangely dressed people yonder if they will let us stay at their house for a while ?", Goemon mused aloud. "Well...?", Jigen said, taking a smoke. Lupin shrugged his shoulders. "There's not a place around for miles. We don't have much of a choice.", Lupin said. Jessie was speechless. James was becoming jealous of him. "Just because he's a sharp dresser shouldn't make him better than yours truly !", James thought, crossing his arms. "Ooh, envy rears its ugly head !", Meowth snickered. "Silence !", James said, shushing Meowth. Lupin sauntered up to Jessie, "Ma'am ? Is it fine with you that we should stay here ?" "Uh, ha, ha...Anytime ! I'm Jessie from Team Rocket ! And, I already know who you are...You, of course, are Lupin III, master thief !", Jessie said. "Never heard of you...", James said, sarcastically. Of course, he was lying. "What do you mean you've never heard of me ?", Lupin asked, a little angrily. He laughed, and slapped him on the back. "No hard feelings for you or your girlfriend, ok ?", he said, slyly. James' face turned bright red and his fists were clenched. His temper became increasingly worse as he watched Jessie escort Lupin and the others to their house. In the car, another member of Lupin's gang came out. Fujiko had been asleep for a while, and she had just awakened. She looked at the Fiat. "Lemme guess...The Fiat ran out of gas. Jeez ! I knew I should've taken the motorcycle today. But, oh well.", Fujiko said, throwing her hair up. James' temper turned to love. "Ha, ha, ha, ha...", he laughed nervously. "I guess I stay here tonight.", she said, with a smile. "Anytime !", James said, smiling with glee.
Chapter 2—Team Rocket Plans To Catch Pikachu !
After everybody woke up, everyone had breakfast. "Anybody here know how to fix a car ?", Lupin asked, devouring the rest of his breakfast. "I do...", James said. "N-no...I mean, nobody knows how to fix a car here.", Jessie said. James fumed. He stormed over to Jessie and whispered in her ear, "Why did you do that, Jessie ?" "They could be of use to us...", Jessie whispered back. James crossed his arms and pouted. "Oh, so that's how it is !", James shouted. "Jeez, what's wrong with James ?", Lupin asked. "He's just a little uptight. He's always like that.", Jessie said, smiling. Meowth laughed. James groaned and left the room.
Later in the day, Jessie discussed with Lupin and his gang how they could help them catch Pikachu. "This is weird...I don't see what's so important about Pickachu.", Jigen said, taking another smoke. Jessie coughed. Jigen pardoned himself for not knowing that Jessie couldn't stand the smell of smoke in her house, so he got up from the couch and smoked outside. "Well, I suppose we could all team up, for this one time...and then, James can fix our car.", Lupin said. "JAMES !", Jessie screamed. Goemon lowered his head and tsked. James came into the family room and whimpered. "Yes, dear ?", he said, nervously. He sweat-dropped. "Did you tell Lupin that you knew how to fix cars ?", Jessie asked, the vein on her forehead looking like it was about ready to explode. "N-now dearest, whatever gave you that idea ?", he said, his hands in front of him. "Excuse me, guys...", Jessie said, marching up to James. A brief scuffle occurred, and dust and dirt was everywhere. When it was over, James looked rather beaten. Everyone in Lupin's gang clapped, even Jigen who had witnessed the fight from outside. "What entertainment !", Goemon said, clapping. Jessie winked at Lupin and Fujiko gave him a mean look. She then gave a mean look to Jessie, and James felt his heart soar again. "Ahhh...", he said, seeming to float her way, but before he got there, he fell down when Jessie said through clenched teeth, "Come on. We have a Pikachu to catch..."
Chapter 3—Pikachu May Be Cute, But...
That afternoon, after eating an elaborate lunch, the gang had left the Rockets' house and went to Cerulean City. "If we're lucky, those punk kids will be here soon.", Jessie said, greedily rubbing her hands together. "We've got a great trap set up here. No way Ash and his friends will be able to be able to get out of this...", James commented. Lupin rubbed his fist on his chest. "Yep, yep, yep. And, it was my genius that made it possible.", he said. In the background, Misty was laughing at Brock. "One of these days, I am gonna get a nice looking girl...Maybe even Joy !", Brock said, his fists clenched to his chest. Misty laughed even harder. Ash was in hysterics as well. "That'll be the day, Brock. That'll be the day !", Ash noted. Around them, the net beneath them sprung up and entrapped them. "Great time to be tied up...", Brock said. "That is not very funny, Brock.", Misty said, angrily. Ash's face was one of terror..."Hey, they've got Pikachu !" Pikachu was then caught in a rubber bag squealing "Pika ! PIKA!" "NO !", Ash and his friends cried in unison. Jessie, James and Meowth taunted, "Ha, ha, ha !" Jigen, a little curious, wanted to see what Pikachu actually looked like. "N- no...Don't do that !", Jessie and James said in unison. "Why not ?", Jigen said, holding Pikachu in his hand. "Aw, he's cute !", Fujiko said, tickling Pikachu's chin. Pikachu then gave them all a shock. The shock was so grand that it burned the ropes of the net and freed Ash and his friends. Lupin and gang, and Team Rocket were all in a dog pile, singed to a crisp. "So much for getting a suntan this year...", Jessie whined, crying. "Will you shut up ?!", Meowth yelled. "Yeah, shut up !", Lupin and his friends exclaimed. Laughing all the way to the way home, Team Rocket again knew what defeat was.
Chapter 4—So Much For Teamwork...
After fixing Lupin's Fiat, James was repaid with a hug from Fujiko. "Ah, I don't want her to leave ! Uh, I mean...Nice working with you !", James said. Jessie gave James a mean look and muttered, "Remember, James...I'm your girlfriend." "So much for teamwork...You guys are pathetic !", Lupin said, laughing. "Yeah, really. I can't wait to get back on the road and start treasure hunting...", Jigen said. "You have spirit, but, really, you guys stink when it comes to trapping Pokemon...", Goemon said, chuckling. As they left, Jessie and James wailed, hugging each other. "AHHH ! We'll always be losers !", they said. "Maybe I should just find a different Team to hang out with...or, become a mascot. That always brings in big bucks.", Meowth said, his head lowered. He walked back towards the house, looking back to watch Lupin's Fiat disappear into the horizon. Then, he looked at Jessie and James and laughed. "Lupin was right...Team Rocket really is pathetic.", Meowth thought, walking back to the house.
Epilogue: No matter how hard they try, they fail. One can say they are stupid to go on, but at least they've got great spirit and "can-do" attitudes. Besides all that, they've got great fashion sense...and not very many villains are lucky enough to have that ! )
Questions, comments, recipes ? Send them to "Razor" at bberndtscican.net
By: Elizabeth Berndt
April 25, 1999