"Give a Reason for Life"
by Argy
Note: "Slayers" and all its characters are copyright 1989-present Hajime Kanzaka, Rui Araizumi, Kadokawa Shoten, TV Tokyo, SOFTX. The views expressed in this work are based on the observations, perspective, and opinion of the author. Although this story is based on known Slayers facts, in no way is this fictional piece of work meant to be an official canon representation of "Slayers" or the characters it involves.

This story-essay contains spoilers for all of the Slayers series. If you haven't seen all of the series, then be advised you may run into something you aren't or don't want to be familiar with.

Note: "The Voice" is not meant to be the author. It is not meant to be anyone in particular, for that matter. Not Xelloss, not the Lord of Nightmares... not anyone.

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Surely somewhere there lies "The Answer," The answer which was born That is what all people wish for Facing the dreary dream that they can't let go

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2/4 - Ameria Wil Tesla Saillune

What is your ultimate goal in life?
To fulfill absolute justice! To rid this world of evil!

Please tell me the truth.
T-that is the truth... basically...

What else do you want?
To be loved by my people. To make Daddy proud of me. I know I can accomplish these as long as I keep a pure heart and stay devoted to justice!

How has your father influenced your beliefs?
He's shown me how to be a true warrior of justice!

I can tell you're hiding something. We have to talk about certain things even if they make you uncomfortable.
I-I'm not hiding anything! Talk about whatever you want!

Then let's talk about the rest of your family. Other than your father.
Well, Uncle Christopher has been very supportive of Daddy in his quest to fulfill justice. He likes to work behind the scenes, though. I just think he doesn't want to take the attention away from Daddy. It was very sad what happened to Alfred. I wish he would never have been corrupted by evil. He always seemed like a nice guy; he was always helping out Uncle Christopher.

What about your sister? How long has it been since you've seen her?
Oh, Gracia... I think it's been... five or six years, at least. I can barely remember anything about her...

Why did she leave?
She left soon after our mother died. If you don't mind... I don't really like talking about this...

What happened to your mother?
Ah? Very well, then. I was pretty young when it happened, so I don't remember a lot, but... I wasn't supposed to know that she was murdered. The adults never talked about it around me and my sister, but there was a reason they didn't mention it to her. Before she left home, Gracia told me that SHE had been the original target, what with her being next in line for the throne, and that the assasin made a mistake and killed our mother instead. She warned me to always be careful because since she had given up her right to the throne, I would be the next target of any of Saillune's enemies.

How does this make you feel? She placed the responsibility on you.
I don't blame Gracia for feeling the way she did after it happened. But... the way she left me and Daddy...

Did she give you any reasons for why she left?
Before she left she told me that she wanted to go out and learn more offensive skills so she could protect herself and our family. I knew she wouldn't come back, though.

How do you think the incident affected her?
Well, I know she was in the room when it happened, and this caused her to be deathly afraid of blood. As the days went by, she just kept getting worse. She locked herself in her room for weeks, only opening the door to let servants bring in food. Finally, the night she left, she came out, acting like nothing had happened. There was definitely something different about her. For one, her outfit had drastically changed. It looked more like something an evil sorceress would wear than something worn by a princess. When I asked her where she got it from, she just laughed obnoxiously and walked off. That was the last time I ever saw her. I went to bed that night, and when I woke up in the morning she was gone.

How did your father react to this?
Daddy didn't seem as upset as I thought he should be. He just said Gracia had to find her own path and that he was sure that wherever she was she would spread the word of justice to the world. Now I know he was only saying this to make me feel better. That's probably the reason why I wanted to go on an adventure with Lina-san so badly- I was young, I was being led on, and all I wanted was to be like my sister. Now... well, now the last thing I want to be like is her. I would never abandon Daddy or Saillune like she did.

So, now we know what you think of your sister. What's your opinion on Lina?
Lina-san is the best friend I've ever had. Sure, she has betrayed me a few times... and everytime she shows up when I'm doing official business I end getting in trouble because of her... and... I don't know...

Did you enjoy traveling with her?
I liked being able to fight evil, and I know I probably would never have succeeded if I weren't with her. I could never be like her, and I don't think I would want to. There are too many times when her power gets to be too much and innocent people are harmed. Too many people are scared of her, even if most of the time she means well.

Were you ever jealous of her?
I was. A lot. Whenever it was just the four of us- me, Lina-san, Zelgadiss-san, and Gourry-san, people would always pay attention to her. SHE would be the one people would want to hang around with; SHE would be the one who was asked for help. And if I said or did something that took the attention away from her, I would end up being treated like I was just some annoying girl following her around. That's exactly how it was when I first met her, and since then it's changed, but every once in a while that arrogance would surface.

How do you feel about Gourry?
Gourry-san... Gourry-san... what to say about Gourry-san... I think the relationship between him and Lina-san is weird. It's obvious their hearts burn with pure love for each other, but they never show it. If they would just get past their insecurities and confess their love for each other, they would be so much more happy!

And Zelgadiss? You seemed to get along with him very well.
It wasn't always that way. When we first met, Zelgadiss-san and I weren't very good friends. He was mean, and all he cared about was turning his body back to normal! I happen to think he looks cool that way!

What happened to make you two start getting along?
I think for me it was when he helped Lina-san and Sylphiel-san escape to somewhere safe so Sylphiel-san could revive Lina-san. Before then I thought he was only concerned about himself. I don't know when he started being nicer to me, though. The pure light of justice must have had an effect on him!

Was there any time after that when he made you truly angry?
The first thing that comes to mind was when we had to go to Femille to look for a Claire Bible manuscript, and he saved that princess-- I mean prince. Anyway, Zelgadiss-san would purposely avoid me so he could be with Miwan- san. The others weren't helping me, either. I never expected Gourry-san to help, and I'm sure Martina-san and Xelloss-san wouldn't have cared, but I was sure Lina-san would have understood. Instead, she kept on teasing Zelgadiss-san about how he liked Miwan-san, ignoring me the whole time. And then there was that time at the temple of marriage when Lina-san got paired up with Zelgadiss-san and she didn't even care how I felt. Xelloss-san and Filia-san were right; the whole thing was a mistake. Lina-san should have known that from the beginning. And it also made me mad because Zelgadiss-san didn't protest to being with Lina-san. Sure, he wasn't excited or anything, but still, he should have realized it was wrong.

What happened when you asked Zelgadiss to stay with you in Saillune?
You mean the second time, during the battle with Dark Star? Well, at first he said he would think about it, and even that made me happy, but... I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up. Deep down, I knew he would leave to find his cure. I guess that's all that mattered to him. I was stupid; again I was tricked by someone I cared for and ended up being burned. I gave him one of my bracelets, telling him to bring it back someday, but I know he never will. After he left, I cried for so long just because I was angry at myself for being led on.

Are you mad at Zelgadiss in the same way that you are mad at your sister?
No, I'm not mad at Zelgadiss-san. It's not his fault, it's mine. I should have learned after Gracia left that I couldn't completely rely on anyone to always be there for me. Now I know I have to be strong not only for myself, but for the people of Saillune.

Do you hope that one day you will see your friends again?
Yes, I do. Not only because I miss them, but because I want to show them that I can be strong; that I'm not the annoying little girl they used to know...