Give a Reason for Life
by Argy
Note: "Slayers" and all its characters are copyright 1989-present Hajime Kanzaka, Rui Araizumi, Kadokawa Shoten, TV Tokyo, SOFTX. The views expressed in this work are based on the observations, perspective, and opinion of the author. Although this story is based on known Slayers facts, in no way is this fictional piece of work meant to be an official canon representation of "Slayers" or the characters it involves.
This story-essay contains spoilers for all of the Slayers series. If you haven't seen all of the series, then be advised you may run into something you aren't or don't want to be familiar with.
Note: "The Voice" is not meant to be the author. It is not meant to be anyone in particular, for that matter. Not Xelloss, not the Lord of Nightmares... not anyone.
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Surely somewhere there lies "The Answer," The answer which was born That is what all people wish for Facing the dreary dream that they can't let go
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3/4 - Gourry Gabriev
How did you get your sword?
The Sword of Light? Oh, I don't have that anymore! What's-his-name from that other place took it!
Yes, but how did you get it in the first place?
Hmm... Let me remember. Oh! I see! When I was at home a while ago, my family was fighting over who would get it. It was going to be either me or my brother. I got sick of the fighting, so one day I took the sword and ran away.
Where did you run to?
Uhhh... Sairaag! I remember because Sylphiel cooked a really good meal for me!
Then what happened?
A while later I went to Zephilia and met an old man who was fishing. I don't remember exactly what happened then, but he told me to find something important to do! Oh wait, I remember! He said one of his daughters was a waitress! I should have went to her restaurant!
What did you do after he told you to do something important?
I went into the woods and I saved a little girl! I mean... wait, that was Lina. So then I said I would protect her, and I still do! That's the important thing that I do. That old man sure was smart. I think it would be neat if Lina could talk to him, because Lina's really smart too.
How do you know that Lina hasn't already met him?
Um... is this a trick question? I'm not so good at these...
Nevermind. So how do you like protecting Lina?
It's a good job! Lina's fun to be with, except when I say something stupid to her like I make a joke about her small breasts or when I ask what "that time of the month" is. I don't see what the big deal is. We eat lots of good food together!
Tell me about the time when you were kidnapped by Hellmaster Fibrizo.
Hmm... I remember I was with Lina and Zelgadiss and Ameria, and then that Garv guy died. You know what, I think it was that Hellmaster guy who killed him! Anyway, the next thing I knew, I was flying away, and Lina was chasing me! Then I couldn't see her anymore. I was scared that I wouldn't see her ever again. Then something began controlling me and I was forced to fight Lina! I tried so hard to stop, and finally I was able to regain control of myself for a second right before I was about to hurt her. Then, I remember being back to normal, except things weren't normal. Everyone but Lina was there. The girl who looked like Lina but who wasn't started flying up higher and higher, but I had a feeling it really was Lina, so I chased after her and then... umm... I don't really remember after that. But for a few months after that Lina was really nice to me! But then when we saw Zelgadiss and Ameria again she went back to how she was before.
You said you were scared you wouldn't see her again. Why?
Because then I wouldn't have a reason for life. If I weren't protecting Lina, then I wouldn't have anything to do. I wouldn't know where to go; I wouldn't know what to think or do or who to believe. I'm lost without Lina.
And then you said you don't remember anything after you chased the girl who you thought was Lina. Try to remember.
Hmm... I don't think I remember anything specific... After I went really high up, everything got cold. And then suddenly there was warm. It was really nice. And then I felt like I was spinning and then I woke up and Lina was there! And so was everybody else, too! Even Xelloss brought me my sword! That was really nice of him!
Did you ever feel the warm feeling again?
I think so! Remember when I said that after it went back to normal Lina was really nice to me? Well there were some times then when I felt the warm again! But it was only when we were by ourselves. I don't feel warm around Zelgadiss or Ameria or Xelloss or that one guy who married Martina... um... what was his name? Oh well, it's not important now. But I do kind of feel warm when I drink too much, but that's a different kind of warm!
Now that you and Lina are by yourselves again... Do you ever feel warm?
Sometimes. After that one guy took my sword and the rest of those people left we went to Lina's house. There are lots of grapes here and lots of wine! I feel warm because of all the wine, but like I said earlier, that's a different kind of warm. Oh, and I forgot to say Lina's sister is a waitress! I wonder if she knows the girl the smart guy was talking about. And Lina's sister's dog looks really familiar! His name is Spot! I think I met him somewhere, but I don't remember exactly! Maybe he was the smart man's dog.
How long do you intend on protecting Lina?
A while ago I decided that protecting Lina is my important job, and that it will be my job for the rest of my life.
She doesn't seem to need protection from others.
Well, no. Lina is strong and smart enough to beat the bad guys. But... I think I need to be there for Lina in a different way. I don't know what it's called, or even if it is called anything, but I think that Lina needs me. And I know this sounds selfish, but I think I need Lina, too.
You don't sound too certain.
Well, like I said, I don't know what to call it. I don't understand a lot of things, but if there's one thing I know, it's that I want to be here with Lina forever. I want it to always feel like it did that day when things were normal but really weren't. Not the part where Lina was gone... no, I want the part where it was warm. To me, that is the sword of my heart.
