Note: This is a filler episode rather than one that really moves the
plot along. I'm off to Colorado for a week and I have been getting
ready in addition to digging up my old stories again. In other words
there will be nothing for two weeks, but then there will be probably
four chapters at once in various stories.
..............................................
My life before Professor Xavier's school is all a distant memory, hazy and impersonal, like I'm remembering a story from a particularly vivid book. The only thing that keeps me from forgetting completely is the other people in my head. There's eight of them in here. Most of them want out and some of them hate me and wish for my death. The other mutants I absorbed feel pity for me, fortunately, and have given up trying to take over my body, with the notable exception of Sabretooth. The only other things that keep me remembering are my new powers and my far-too-heavy body. It's been difficult getting used to them, because they were specially chosen to be deadly, so now I always have to be careful not to burn anything or poison anybody. I wouldn't even have the powers anymore except that the Weapon X scientists found a way for the changes to be permanent. That's the funny thing: I would have healed fast anyway if Logan hadn't touched me, but he didn't know that, and as it turned out I wouldn't have beat the conditioning without him. I could almost thank Sabretooth for cutting me up.
I hate Sabretooth. He's the most terrible part of me, because unfortunately he is a part of me. Very occasionally he'll get a slight hold over me, and then I can feel the wicked wheels turning in his head: all these vulnerable, uncertain children to play with. The first time it happened I went so far as to draw blood from Miss Munroe's arm, another person he has a terrible fascination with. She forgave me, but I almost didn't come out of my room for several days.
Logan comforted me; he always comforts me. He knows what those scientists do. He would forgive me no matter what, but I wouldn't always be able to forgive myself. When I wake up he's usually there, looking at me. He comes when I have nightmares, which is always, except when I get somebody else's dreams. Judy, the girl who could fly, had wonderful dreams. I wish she were still alive; now all that's left of her is inside me. At least she was strong until the end. She fought them and died rather than become one of their machines. I killed her. They told me she was dead, but she wasn't; she was still holding on, at least until I touched her. Her personality inside my head thanked me for ending the suffering, but that doesn't make it any easier. If Logan weren't here I don't know what I would do.
..............................................
My life before Professor Xavier's school is all a distant memory, hazy and impersonal, like I'm remembering a story from a particularly vivid book. The only thing that keeps me from forgetting completely is the other people in my head. There's eight of them in here. Most of them want out and some of them hate me and wish for my death. The other mutants I absorbed feel pity for me, fortunately, and have given up trying to take over my body, with the notable exception of Sabretooth. The only other things that keep me remembering are my new powers and my far-too-heavy body. It's been difficult getting used to them, because they were specially chosen to be deadly, so now I always have to be careful not to burn anything or poison anybody. I wouldn't even have the powers anymore except that the Weapon X scientists found a way for the changes to be permanent. That's the funny thing: I would have healed fast anyway if Logan hadn't touched me, but he didn't know that, and as it turned out I wouldn't have beat the conditioning without him. I could almost thank Sabretooth for cutting me up.
I hate Sabretooth. He's the most terrible part of me, because unfortunately he is a part of me. Very occasionally he'll get a slight hold over me, and then I can feel the wicked wheels turning in his head: all these vulnerable, uncertain children to play with. The first time it happened I went so far as to draw blood from Miss Munroe's arm, another person he has a terrible fascination with. She forgave me, but I almost didn't come out of my room for several days.
Logan comforted me; he always comforts me. He knows what those scientists do. He would forgive me no matter what, but I wouldn't always be able to forgive myself. When I wake up he's usually there, looking at me. He comes when I have nightmares, which is always, except when I get somebody else's dreams. Judy, the girl who could fly, had wonderful dreams. I wish she were still alive; now all that's left of her is inside me. At least she was strong until the end. She fought them and died rather than become one of their machines. I killed her. They told me she was dead, but she wasn't; she was still holding on, at least until I touched her. Her personality inside my head thanked me for ending the suffering, but that doesn't make it any easier. If Logan weren't here I don't know what I would do.