(anything in :: is an action)

Weasley's Country Trip

Narrarator: You've heard all about Harry Potter being a hero, but have you ever heard about the Weasleys going to an old looking town in America? Rather, an old looking town WITHOUT A WAL-MART?!

::scattered gasps from audience::

Narrarator: Thought so.

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Mrs. Weasley: Come on, everyone! We haven't got all day!

Ron: Just a minute, Mum!

Fred: Ginny, try some of this! ::holds out candy:: It's real good.

Ginny: Are you sure?

George: We're positive. ::smiles innocently at Fred::

Ginny: All ri-

Mrs. Weasley: FRED WEASLEY! Ginny, do NOT eat that! GEEEOOORRGE!

George: ::grabs the candy from Ginny and pulls something out of his pocket:: Want a tootsie roll, Mum?

Mrs. Weasley: George! Go get in the car! We're coming. RONALD WEASLEY! Get down here!

Ron: ::behind Mrs. Weasley:: I'm right here, Mum.

Mrs. Weasley: ::jumps:: You shouldn't scare me like that, Ronald.

::all march out::

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::IN CAR::

Ron: Fred! I'm not eating anything you have unless it has a tag guaranteeing I live!

Mrs. Weasley: Fred, stop that!

Fred: ::quickly writes something down and sticks it to the candy:: Look, Ron! It's got a lifetime guarantee!

Ron: Oh! Thanks, Fred. ::eats candy::

::BOOM::

Mrs. Weasley: Freeeed!

---

::ARRIVING IN AMERICA, don't ask how they got over a ocean in a car::

Fred: ::practically gallops out of car:: FRESH AIR!

Ron: ::dazed look on face:: Wally World!

Mrs. Weasley: What DID you give Ron, Fred?

Fred: Oh, just something that makes him, er, dumb.

George: Except I think he's actually gotten smarter, since he was already so dumb.

Ginny: Ron! Stop!

Ron: ::trying to walk into oncoming traffic:: Wha-?

Mrs. Weasley: Those boys are hazards to society.

George: ::holds up a dog leash:: Can I put him on this?

Mrs. Weasley: I never thought I'd say this, but I guess you should.

George: Aww right! I think we've hit the jackpot with that treat, Freddy.

Ron: :barks::

Mrs. Weasley: Come, everyone.

::random passerby comes up::

Passerby: Hi! Are you new here! You look lost. Are you lost? That's a nice human dog you have. What's its name?

Mrs. Weasley: Yes, we are new. We're visitors, on vacation.

Passerby: Well, there's a few things you should know. ::starts skipping and singing:: This town's undeveloped, no one develops. We sit and watch TV 'till our heads are evees. goes on and on

George: Mum, muggles scare me.

Fred: I can't even use my stupid treats on this guy, he's already dumb.

Mrs. Weasley: Don't even think about it, Fred.

Ginny: ::sneaks up behind Passerby and pokes him in the head with wand:: Take THAT!

Passerby: ::falls asleep::

Mrs. Weasley: Ginny! No underage magic!

---

Narrarator: The Weasleys spent the rest of the day wandering around, trying to find the local Leaky Cauldron. Finally, they gave up and moved into an old alley to sleep.

---

Fred: Do we REALLY have to sleep here?

Mrs. Weasley: Stop complaining. At least it's not raining. It always is in the movies...

George: ::tying Ron's leash to a nearby object:: How come we couldn't have gone to Washington, D.C.?

Ginny: Because the president might bomb us. ::shudders:: It might hurt...

Fred: No DUH, genius.

Mrs. Weasley: Fred, be nice.

Fred: Aye, aye, Cap'n Crunch! salutes

George: Who's Cap'n Crunch?

Fred: I don't know. It was on some box thing we passed in a store window on the way here.

George: That might be the teletubby Harry was talking about.

Ginny: He said televisor, not teletubby!

Ron: ::tries to skip around while on leash:: I'm happy! I've got a baby voice! I carry a PURSE!

Ginny: He's gone insane! Mum, I'm scared of Ron!

Mrs. Weasley: Ginny, Fred, go look for some wood.

Fred: WOOD?! Where?

Ginny: Fred, there's a million trees! Let's go chop 'em!

::Fred and Ginny exit, stage left::

Mrs. Weasley: George, find something soft.

George: ::scans the ground and picks up a rock:: Here, Mum... Mum... Mum... continues

Mrs. Weasley: What?

George: Scary Man!!!!

::scary man is standing there::

George: I'm not old enough to kidnap! Take Mum!

Scary Man: ::in deep voice:: Mash... mash... mellow...

George: He said mash man-o! You're a woman-o! I'm the man-o! ::freaks out::

Scary Man: ::steps forward::

George: ::pulls out piece of candy and assumes karate pose, holding candy in fist:: CAUTION! I have candy and I'm NOT afraid to use it!

Scary Man: ::notices Fred and Ginny approaching and runs away::

George: I did it! I did it!

Fred: Hello.

George: ::squeals:: Mummy!

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That's all I have for now. I'll update as I write more.