A/N: Tartar sauce… sorry this took so long, I was actually struggling with the problem of viruses on my computer (which has, at long last, been taken care of), and I also had to deal with school and sports… I'm exhausted x_x. But anyway, now would be a good time to continue!
"Oh!" a voice cried, and the babies and Zim turned their attention to Zita, who was standing before the lawn, her hands clasped and her eyes alit and gleaming. "Little babies! Aww!"
"Um…" Zim said uncertainly as Zita rushed over to the Rugcraps and embraced a fearful Chuckie in a hug.
"DUH!" Chuckie screamed, trembling. "Aw, so clueless and dead brained!" Zita said admiringly as she ruffled Chuckie's annoying bright red hair. The purple-haired girl smiled contentedly, until she raised her eyes to see Zim before her. Her face fell and her eyes fell halfway in an expression of boredom and dislike. "Oh, hi Zim," she mumbled, refusing to release Chuckie, who was now struggling fruitlessly against her grasp.
"Hello," Zim said, eyes squared.
"Are you babysitting these adorable little tykes?" Zita asked, happiness
gracing her features once again. "Um…" Zim began, confused. Baby-sit? What the hell?
When at last Chuckie was reduced to tears Zita released him. The retarded
little kid stumbled away to join his posse, fisting away his tears. "Wimp," Phil said angrily, spitting at Chuckie's freckled face. "Hey, who are you to call my BESTEST FRIEND a wimp?!" Tommy cried loudly.
The two glared at each other for a while before Zita stepped in and took Chuckie by the hair. She reached for Tommy's head without looking, snatching a fistful of air. "Hey, what the?" she said. She turned her gaze upon the Tommy the Retard and gasped. "A baldie!" she cried, rubbing the smooth surface of his head. Her hand finally roamed over the three little hairs poking out. "Oh, here's some hair," she said, smiling. She grabbed him by his three little hairs and lifted him up -– but then there was a scream as Tommy landed right on his ass. Zita opened her fisted hand and watched in horror as Tommy's three lone hairs floated to the grass. "Um… congratulations, Baldie! You're a full-pledged one, now!" Zita cried, but Tommy was now crying pitifully. Zita shrugged and dropped Chuckie to the ground.
"Aw… poor baby," GIR spoke up for the first time in a while.
"Um, HELLO!" Zim screamed, waving his arms all frantically and cutely. I love it when he does that. IT'S SO CUTE!!
"What do you want, Zim?" Zita cried angrily, but before he could reply, she looked at him accusingly. "You never answered my question, you know. Are you or are you not babysitting these…" and here, she clenched her fists and shuddered with joy, "ADORABLE little babies?"
"What? No, I don't think so, anyway. They're trying to kill me, ZIM!"
Zita burst into laughter at this reply. "I don't think so. A bunch of cute little babies out to kill… a… um… kid with a skin condition? Doesn't that seem a little absurd?"
"But…" Zim began, but then stopped himself. Chances were that Zita wasn't going to believe him anyway, and unless he could make up a lie of some sort, he'd have to tell her that he was an alien that was intent on conquering the planet, and that these babies, resembling Dib in their ambitions and head sizes, were out to stop him.
Zita swept the still-crying Tommy up in her arms, rocking him. "You obviously don't know how to take care of babies," she remarked, ignoring the fact that she was the reason Tommy began crying in the first place. "I guess it'll be my duty to stay here for the night and help sit them for you…" She cocked an eyebrow at him. "…You're not crazy, but you are weird, and who knows what you might do to a bunch of innocent little kids."
"Oh, I would induce pain and horror on them, destroy every fiber of them… slowly, one, by one, by one, by one…" Zim whispered, audible to only himself. Grinning, he burst into maniacal laughter.
"Um, Zim?" Zita asked, backing away, clutching Tommy, who had now ceased crying, against her chest. The fat little bald retard [insert other insults here] yawned contentedly, and, flashing Zim a look of fat little bald retard [insert other insults here] triumph for no reason, closed his eyes and snuggled up against Zita, immersing into slumber.
When Zim had control over himself again, he grabbed Lil by her legs and lifted her upside down, so that her skirts fell away to reveal her fat little diaper.
"Ugh, Zim, you pervert!" Zita cried, closing her eyes and shuddering. When she looked again, Lil was in tears, waving her arms frantically. Am I the only one clapping and cheering? Growling, Zita shifted Tommy to her right arm and snatched Lil away from Zim, carrying her with her left arm and cooing at her until she calmed. When Lil had settled down and had stupidly taken on slumber as well, Zita turned her accusing eyes upon Zim, who was looking clueless.
"Man, Zim, you are desperate! Just because you don't have any friends or girlfriends, doesn't mean you should take advantage of BABIES!"
"Um," Zim said hopelessly. He was so confused it was making him dizzy.
"UM!" GIR repeated, giggling happily. He plopped down and slurped a brainfreezy.
Zita kicked open the door and walked into Zim's house, setting Lil and Tommy down on the couch and going out to retrieve Chuckie and Phil. As the two passed him, Zim delivered a good kick to the both of them, so that they were on their knees and in tears.
"ZIM!!" Zita screamed, picking the both of them up and leading them to the couch. "You are the worst person EVER! What is your problem?!"
"They want to kill me!" Zim screamed, vainly attempting to get Zita to see the fact that the Rugcraps were a bunch of retarded kids that didn't deserve to live AT ALL.
Zita was busily cooing to Phil and rocking Chuckie to sleep. When the both of them had given in to dreams, she set them down and got up, making her way over to Zim and slapping him across the face.
"Ah!" Zim screamed. "HOW DARE YOU TOUCH ZIM!! ZIM gave you no permission to!!"
"ZIM doesn't have to give me permission to do anything!" Zita cried indignantly, clenching her fists. "You should be jailed for child abuse and sexual harassment -– to BABIES!"
"Oh yeah?" Zim shouted. "Well, who gave you the right to barge into my house, huh?"
"I gave myself the right, because these babies need proper caring!" Zita retorted.
"NO! NO FIGHTING!" GIR screamed, running in, tears leaking down his costumed face.
"Oh… a puppy!" Zita squealed, falling to her knees and embracing GIR in a hug, ignoring the fact that he had just spoken.
"Um… GIR, be a good doggy!" Zim said, perspiration leaking down his face. What if GIR gave himself and his whole mission away?
But GIR had closed his eyes and was cooing and mumbling incoherently, passing himself off for a dog as he fell onto his back and giggled as Zita rubbed his tummy. Argh… SO… CUTE!
When Zita had ceased petting him, she turned to Zim and got up, raising her hand warningly again. "You probably abuse your little dog, too, don't you, Zim?" she accused.
"No," Zim said, looking at her trembling fisted hand.
"Liar!" Zita screamed, driving her fist into his gut. Zim screamed and fell on the floor, clutching his pained stomach. Zita turned around to look at the couch. By now, Tommy was stirring, stretching his limbs and opening his eyes. Zita smiled and Tommy smiled back, but the sight of Zim in pain was what caused his smile. Oh my. What a naughty little bald baby.
At last, Zim arose to his feet. Anger filled his features, but then a mischievous smile flitted across his face. He reached for his ray gun, secured tightly in… um… some nowhere place on him, and raised it, aiming it at Tommy…
THIS IS WHERE I LEAVE YOU IN SUSPENSE!! I love doing that.
"Oh!" a voice cried, and the babies and Zim turned their attention to Zita, who was standing before the lawn, her hands clasped and her eyes alit and gleaming. "Little babies! Aww!"
"Um…" Zim said uncertainly as Zita rushed over to the Rugcraps and embraced a fearful Chuckie in a hug.
"DUH!" Chuckie screamed, trembling. "Aw, so clueless and dead brained!" Zita said admiringly as she ruffled Chuckie's annoying bright red hair. The purple-haired girl smiled contentedly, until she raised her eyes to see Zim before her. Her face fell and her eyes fell halfway in an expression of boredom and dislike. "Oh, hi Zim," she mumbled, refusing to release Chuckie, who was now struggling fruitlessly against her grasp.
"Hello," Zim said, eyes squared.
"Are you babysitting these adorable little tykes?" Zita asked, happiness
gracing her features once again. "Um…" Zim began, confused. Baby-sit? What the hell?
When at last Chuckie was reduced to tears Zita released him. The retarded
little kid stumbled away to join his posse, fisting away his tears. "Wimp," Phil said angrily, spitting at Chuckie's freckled face. "Hey, who are you to call my BESTEST FRIEND a wimp?!" Tommy cried loudly.
The two glared at each other for a while before Zita stepped in and took Chuckie by the hair. She reached for Tommy's head without looking, snatching a fistful of air. "Hey, what the?" she said. She turned her gaze upon the Tommy the Retard and gasped. "A baldie!" she cried, rubbing the smooth surface of his head. Her hand finally roamed over the three little hairs poking out. "Oh, here's some hair," she said, smiling. She grabbed him by his three little hairs and lifted him up -– but then there was a scream as Tommy landed right on his ass. Zita opened her fisted hand and watched in horror as Tommy's three lone hairs floated to the grass. "Um… congratulations, Baldie! You're a full-pledged one, now!" Zita cried, but Tommy was now crying pitifully. Zita shrugged and dropped Chuckie to the ground.
"Aw… poor baby," GIR spoke up for the first time in a while.
"Um, HELLO!" Zim screamed, waving his arms all frantically and cutely. I love it when he does that. IT'S SO CUTE!!
"What do you want, Zim?" Zita cried angrily, but before he could reply, she looked at him accusingly. "You never answered my question, you know. Are you or are you not babysitting these…" and here, she clenched her fists and shuddered with joy, "ADORABLE little babies?"
"What? No, I don't think so, anyway. They're trying to kill me, ZIM!"
Zita burst into laughter at this reply. "I don't think so. A bunch of cute little babies out to kill… a… um… kid with a skin condition? Doesn't that seem a little absurd?"
"But…" Zim began, but then stopped himself. Chances were that Zita wasn't going to believe him anyway, and unless he could make up a lie of some sort, he'd have to tell her that he was an alien that was intent on conquering the planet, and that these babies, resembling Dib in their ambitions and head sizes, were out to stop him.
Zita swept the still-crying Tommy up in her arms, rocking him. "You obviously don't know how to take care of babies," she remarked, ignoring the fact that she was the reason Tommy began crying in the first place. "I guess it'll be my duty to stay here for the night and help sit them for you…" She cocked an eyebrow at him. "…You're not crazy, but you are weird, and who knows what you might do to a bunch of innocent little kids."
"Oh, I would induce pain and horror on them, destroy every fiber of them… slowly, one, by one, by one, by one…" Zim whispered, audible to only himself. Grinning, he burst into maniacal laughter.
"Um, Zim?" Zita asked, backing away, clutching Tommy, who had now ceased crying, against her chest. The fat little bald retard [insert other insults here] yawned contentedly, and, flashing Zim a look of fat little bald retard [insert other insults here] triumph for no reason, closed his eyes and snuggled up against Zita, immersing into slumber.
When Zim had control over himself again, he grabbed Lil by her legs and lifted her upside down, so that her skirts fell away to reveal her fat little diaper.
"Ugh, Zim, you pervert!" Zita cried, closing her eyes and shuddering. When she looked again, Lil was in tears, waving her arms frantically. Am I the only one clapping and cheering? Growling, Zita shifted Tommy to her right arm and snatched Lil away from Zim, carrying her with her left arm and cooing at her until she calmed. When Lil had settled down and had stupidly taken on slumber as well, Zita turned her accusing eyes upon Zim, who was looking clueless.
"Man, Zim, you are desperate! Just because you don't have any friends or girlfriends, doesn't mean you should take advantage of BABIES!"
"Um," Zim said hopelessly. He was so confused it was making him dizzy.
"UM!" GIR repeated, giggling happily. He plopped down and slurped a brainfreezy.
Zita kicked open the door and walked into Zim's house, setting Lil and Tommy down on the couch and going out to retrieve Chuckie and Phil. As the two passed him, Zim delivered a good kick to the both of them, so that they were on their knees and in tears.
"ZIM!!" Zita screamed, picking the both of them up and leading them to the couch. "You are the worst person EVER! What is your problem?!"
"They want to kill me!" Zim screamed, vainly attempting to get Zita to see the fact that the Rugcraps were a bunch of retarded kids that didn't deserve to live AT ALL.
Zita was busily cooing to Phil and rocking Chuckie to sleep. When the both of them had given in to dreams, she set them down and got up, making her way over to Zim and slapping him across the face.
"Ah!" Zim screamed. "HOW DARE YOU TOUCH ZIM!! ZIM gave you no permission to!!"
"ZIM doesn't have to give me permission to do anything!" Zita cried indignantly, clenching her fists. "You should be jailed for child abuse and sexual harassment -– to BABIES!"
"Oh yeah?" Zim shouted. "Well, who gave you the right to barge into my house, huh?"
"I gave myself the right, because these babies need proper caring!" Zita retorted.
"NO! NO FIGHTING!" GIR screamed, running in, tears leaking down his costumed face.
"Oh… a puppy!" Zita squealed, falling to her knees and embracing GIR in a hug, ignoring the fact that he had just spoken.
"Um… GIR, be a good doggy!" Zim said, perspiration leaking down his face. What if GIR gave himself and his whole mission away?
But GIR had closed his eyes and was cooing and mumbling incoherently, passing himself off for a dog as he fell onto his back and giggled as Zita rubbed his tummy. Argh… SO… CUTE!
When Zita had ceased petting him, she turned to Zim and got up, raising her hand warningly again. "You probably abuse your little dog, too, don't you, Zim?" she accused.
"No," Zim said, looking at her trembling fisted hand.
"Liar!" Zita screamed, driving her fist into his gut. Zim screamed and fell on the floor, clutching his pained stomach. Zita turned around to look at the couch. By now, Tommy was stirring, stretching his limbs and opening his eyes. Zita smiled and Tommy smiled back, but the sight of Zim in pain was what caused his smile. Oh my. What a naughty little bald baby.
At last, Zim arose to his feet. Anger filled his features, but then a mischievous smile flitted across his face. He reached for his ray gun, secured tightly in… um… some nowhere place on him, and raised it, aiming it at Tommy…
THIS IS WHERE I LEAVE YOU IN SUSPENSE!! I love doing that.