A/N: Wow, you guys.... I HAD to update this... I mean, it's been over a year
now! Unbelievable, dudes. Where does the time GO?! OK, well, I'll shut up
before I sound like a really really old guy reflecting on the past (wait,
that's already been accomplished). I'm really sorry, dudes.... I haven't been
updating much of anything because I've been so discouraged with my writing
lately, not to mention embarrassed by a lot of my stories. I suppose I can
tolerate this one enough to update, though. Thanks for being patient to the
people who started reading this from the repost and continue to read/review
now, and MUCHO MUCHO MUCHO thanks to those who started from the ORIGINAL
post and are still reading now... are there even any of those people left
now? Anyway, whether you're a new fan, an old fan, or an ancient fan, do
review and tell me of your status =D.
-----
Zim blinked at the smug look on Kimmie's face before the communicator went blank. He barely had time to think of what was going to happen before Chuckie threw a burlap sack over his head and knocked him off his feet, slinging Zim's weight over his shoulder. Zim quickly recovered from this sudden assault before grunting uncomfortably and twisting around to throw kicks and punches at the walls of the sack, hoping to strike Chuckie hard enough to make him drop the sack and give Zim an opportunity to escape. But the toddler held fast against Zim's struggles, and eventually they arrived at headquarters, with the Irken still trapped in the sack.
Chuckie squinted to better see the form of the fancily-dressed Kimmie, as he had left his broken glasses behind. Kimmie clicked her tongue and shook her head pityingly at her bald companion. "You weren't joking about losing all of them, were you, Charles? And your hair and glasses..." She sighed and crossed her arms over chest, looking rather disappointed. "Klaskey and Csupo are gonna throw some fits when they hear about this..."
"Dreadfully sorry, ma'am," Chuckie stuttered before shrugging the sack off of his shoulder. "But I've succeeded in capturing the alien."
"Ah!" Kimmie cried delightedly as she stood and came to gather Zim's still- squirming form into her arms. "Feisty one, isn't he?" she chuckled. She cast the bag onto the floor and then called, "GUARDS!"
Guards, armed from head to toe in humongous cannons that had the Nickelodeon logo on it (complete with a goofy smiley face), came rushing to Kimmie's aid. "Open the sack," she ordered condescendingly. One of them drew a long pointed sword from his bright green belt before slashing the bag open.
"Uh oh! Watch out!" one of the guards cried comically as a bucket full of slime overturned and poured its contents on the guard bearing the sword. The whole room rang with childish laughter. "Slime is always funny!" the sword-bearing guard chuckled as he traced his finger along the slimy sword, only to finish this sentence with an astonished scream as the sword cut his finger off. Zim was looking around the room incredulously. "Uhhh... what, exactly, are you going to do with me?"
"Oh, that's easy," Kimmie hissed, "we're going to kill you."
"KILL me?" Zim huffed. "You would kill no one! You're loyal to Nickelodeon, and Nickelodeon won't even let you blow up an unoccupied house."
"What if someone WANTED to occupy it!" one of the guards scolded. "You can't just go around and do that! Plus, it too closely resembles a terrorist attack."
"Oh yes, we can't have any of that," the guards mumbled amongst each other. Zim didn't even bother to sigh, as it was typical.
"No one has to know that we killed you," Kimmie said airily, moving her hips around in a circle while stroking the bulge of her diaper as if it was a baby (You'd wonder if she crapped herself and was treating it like a living thing inside of her). "Nick is all about public appearance. As long as we look good and happy-go-lucky, it doesn't matter."
"It doesn't?" one of the guards asked in a small voice. "But I always thought that we really cared... I mean..."
"Really cared!" Kimmie cackled. "I haven't been a part of Nickelodeon that long and even I know that! However, I do know that it has seen its better days, back when it didn't care and SHOWED that it couldn't care less... now it's all about being cool for kids and parents at the same time."
"But, it IS cool!" one of the guards said. "I mean, the new cast of All That—"
"We're getting off track here," Kimmie interrupted. "The fact is, committing a horrible deed without anyone's knowing it shouldn't interfere with our caring façade. Nobody has to know that we finished off Mr. Zim here. So let's do it."
The guards stared blankly at Kimmie, some of them blinking multiple times as if this would more easily convey the fact that they were confused. At last one of them voiced the question that they were all wondering: "How do we do it?"
"What do you mean, 'how do we do it?!'" Kimmie raged. "There are a million and one ways to kill somebody! Choke him, crush him, snap his neck—for Klaskey's sake, you've got CANNONS all over you, and this guy over here has got a freakin' SWORD!"
They all looked at each other and shrugged before turning to where Zim, well... was.
"What are we killing again?" one of the guards asked meekly.
Chuckie pointed a shaky finger to Zim's retreating form and Kimmie clenched her fists with fury. "I'll beat you for your incompetence later," she spat, throwing hateful stares at the shuddering guards. "For now, AFTER HIM!"
The guards scampered away, some of them falling flat on their face as their combat boots could not find purchase on the slimy parts of the floor. Kimmie kicked one of the felled guards in the head and he whimpered pathetically in defeat. "They'd better catch that alien," Kimmie muttered to herself, and at last turned to look at Chuckie. "Charles, dear," she cooed suavely, slinking toward him in a way that made the fake sequins on her gown catch the light and shine brilliantly. "I must say that you're a pretty brave one for catching that alien all by yourself."
Chuckie gulped and reached to catch a stray lock of his wild orange mane to twirl around his finger before he remembered it had all been burned away. Kimmie placed a hand on his charred scalp and he squealed with pain. She giggled. "You never were an adequate 'brother' to me, you know," she hissed near to his face, and Chuckie couldn't help but flinch at the pungent smell of cigarettes on her breath. His heart beat hard as he felt a slashy-untrue incest fic coming on. He knew what the next words were going to be: "You would be, however, an adequate LOVER!!"
"You would be, however, an adequate SLAVE!!" Kimmie screeched, and Chuckie didn't know whether to faint with relief or horror. Another option was opened to him though as Kimmie drew her glove off, whacked him in the face with it (quite proper), and then raked her fingers across his burned head. He hit the floor in an instant.
-----
Zim kept on the run from the heavily armed guards... it was quite easily to elude them, as he was already fast and agile and was offered an even bigger advantage thanks to most of the guards' girths and all of their heavy firearms. Zim snickered to himself as he raced down an open hallway. Stupid morons didn't even know how to work those humongous cannons.
"Please come back here!" one of the guards wailed after him. "I don't want to lose my job! My little kid and I love it here!" Zim rolled his eyes before making a sharp turn and kicking a conveniently placed medical gurney behind him and in the way of the guards paths (don't ask me why there's a medical gurney in Nickelodeon Studios... let's just say that people get so delirious in there that they sometimes do things that need medical attention). Some of the guards ran into it, causing it to overturn and leave them lying on the floor crying in pain.
Zim screeched to a halt as he came to a dead end, with only three doors to choose from. He chose one on the right and slipped in. He winced with disgust as he realized he had stumbled onto a filming of U-Pick Live. There were screeching, dancing children and some guy in a cow suit. Zim didn't think it was even possible to question these humans' intelligence anymore. It was beyond questioning. One could only know, now.
Zim inconspicuously took his place on a seat viewing the dance floor, when Candace (If I've misspelled or used wrong names or anything, forgive me. I hate U-Pick Live and I'd rather not know much about it) approached him and took his gloved hand. "WE'VE GOT A PIE VICTIM!" she squealed, and all dancing ceased as kids raised their voices with glee and clapped their hands.
"Pie victim?! What is this... pie victim?" Zim said suspiciously before Candace pulled him to his feet and Brad and that guy dressed in a superhero suit came forward armed with pies. A drop of whip cream fell on his finger and he hissed as it burned. "Ready?!" Brad said as he lifted a pie and aimed it toward Zim's face.
Well, this wasn't good.
-----
You guys, I TOTALLY know where this is going now, so you can bet that there won't be an extended period of non-updating again. I usually do that because I have no idea what else to do, but now I know what's going on and I know how I'm going to end this. So review!
-----
Zim blinked at the smug look on Kimmie's face before the communicator went blank. He barely had time to think of what was going to happen before Chuckie threw a burlap sack over his head and knocked him off his feet, slinging Zim's weight over his shoulder. Zim quickly recovered from this sudden assault before grunting uncomfortably and twisting around to throw kicks and punches at the walls of the sack, hoping to strike Chuckie hard enough to make him drop the sack and give Zim an opportunity to escape. But the toddler held fast against Zim's struggles, and eventually they arrived at headquarters, with the Irken still trapped in the sack.
Chuckie squinted to better see the form of the fancily-dressed Kimmie, as he had left his broken glasses behind. Kimmie clicked her tongue and shook her head pityingly at her bald companion. "You weren't joking about losing all of them, were you, Charles? And your hair and glasses..." She sighed and crossed her arms over chest, looking rather disappointed. "Klaskey and Csupo are gonna throw some fits when they hear about this..."
"Dreadfully sorry, ma'am," Chuckie stuttered before shrugging the sack off of his shoulder. "But I've succeeded in capturing the alien."
"Ah!" Kimmie cried delightedly as she stood and came to gather Zim's still- squirming form into her arms. "Feisty one, isn't he?" she chuckled. She cast the bag onto the floor and then called, "GUARDS!"
Guards, armed from head to toe in humongous cannons that had the Nickelodeon logo on it (complete with a goofy smiley face), came rushing to Kimmie's aid. "Open the sack," she ordered condescendingly. One of them drew a long pointed sword from his bright green belt before slashing the bag open.
"Uh oh! Watch out!" one of the guards cried comically as a bucket full of slime overturned and poured its contents on the guard bearing the sword. The whole room rang with childish laughter. "Slime is always funny!" the sword-bearing guard chuckled as he traced his finger along the slimy sword, only to finish this sentence with an astonished scream as the sword cut his finger off. Zim was looking around the room incredulously. "Uhhh... what, exactly, are you going to do with me?"
"Oh, that's easy," Kimmie hissed, "we're going to kill you."
"KILL me?" Zim huffed. "You would kill no one! You're loyal to Nickelodeon, and Nickelodeon won't even let you blow up an unoccupied house."
"What if someone WANTED to occupy it!" one of the guards scolded. "You can't just go around and do that! Plus, it too closely resembles a terrorist attack."
"Oh yes, we can't have any of that," the guards mumbled amongst each other. Zim didn't even bother to sigh, as it was typical.
"No one has to know that we killed you," Kimmie said airily, moving her hips around in a circle while stroking the bulge of her diaper as if it was a baby (You'd wonder if she crapped herself and was treating it like a living thing inside of her). "Nick is all about public appearance. As long as we look good and happy-go-lucky, it doesn't matter."
"It doesn't?" one of the guards asked in a small voice. "But I always thought that we really cared... I mean..."
"Really cared!" Kimmie cackled. "I haven't been a part of Nickelodeon that long and even I know that! However, I do know that it has seen its better days, back when it didn't care and SHOWED that it couldn't care less... now it's all about being cool for kids and parents at the same time."
"But, it IS cool!" one of the guards said. "I mean, the new cast of All That—"
"We're getting off track here," Kimmie interrupted. "The fact is, committing a horrible deed without anyone's knowing it shouldn't interfere with our caring façade. Nobody has to know that we finished off Mr. Zim here. So let's do it."
The guards stared blankly at Kimmie, some of them blinking multiple times as if this would more easily convey the fact that they were confused. At last one of them voiced the question that they were all wondering: "How do we do it?"
"What do you mean, 'how do we do it?!'" Kimmie raged. "There are a million and one ways to kill somebody! Choke him, crush him, snap his neck—for Klaskey's sake, you've got CANNONS all over you, and this guy over here has got a freakin' SWORD!"
They all looked at each other and shrugged before turning to where Zim, well... was.
"What are we killing again?" one of the guards asked meekly.
Chuckie pointed a shaky finger to Zim's retreating form and Kimmie clenched her fists with fury. "I'll beat you for your incompetence later," she spat, throwing hateful stares at the shuddering guards. "For now, AFTER HIM!"
The guards scampered away, some of them falling flat on their face as their combat boots could not find purchase on the slimy parts of the floor. Kimmie kicked one of the felled guards in the head and he whimpered pathetically in defeat. "They'd better catch that alien," Kimmie muttered to herself, and at last turned to look at Chuckie. "Charles, dear," she cooed suavely, slinking toward him in a way that made the fake sequins on her gown catch the light and shine brilliantly. "I must say that you're a pretty brave one for catching that alien all by yourself."
Chuckie gulped and reached to catch a stray lock of his wild orange mane to twirl around his finger before he remembered it had all been burned away. Kimmie placed a hand on his charred scalp and he squealed with pain. She giggled. "You never were an adequate 'brother' to me, you know," she hissed near to his face, and Chuckie couldn't help but flinch at the pungent smell of cigarettes on her breath. His heart beat hard as he felt a slashy-untrue incest fic coming on. He knew what the next words were going to be: "You would be, however, an adequate LOVER!!"
"You would be, however, an adequate SLAVE!!" Kimmie screeched, and Chuckie didn't know whether to faint with relief or horror. Another option was opened to him though as Kimmie drew her glove off, whacked him in the face with it (quite proper), and then raked her fingers across his burned head. He hit the floor in an instant.
-----
Zim kept on the run from the heavily armed guards... it was quite easily to elude them, as he was already fast and agile and was offered an even bigger advantage thanks to most of the guards' girths and all of their heavy firearms. Zim snickered to himself as he raced down an open hallway. Stupid morons didn't even know how to work those humongous cannons.
"Please come back here!" one of the guards wailed after him. "I don't want to lose my job! My little kid and I love it here!" Zim rolled his eyes before making a sharp turn and kicking a conveniently placed medical gurney behind him and in the way of the guards paths (don't ask me why there's a medical gurney in Nickelodeon Studios... let's just say that people get so delirious in there that they sometimes do things that need medical attention). Some of the guards ran into it, causing it to overturn and leave them lying on the floor crying in pain.
Zim screeched to a halt as he came to a dead end, with only three doors to choose from. He chose one on the right and slipped in. He winced with disgust as he realized he had stumbled onto a filming of U-Pick Live. There were screeching, dancing children and some guy in a cow suit. Zim didn't think it was even possible to question these humans' intelligence anymore. It was beyond questioning. One could only know, now.
Zim inconspicuously took his place on a seat viewing the dance floor, when Candace (If I've misspelled or used wrong names or anything, forgive me. I hate U-Pick Live and I'd rather not know much about it) approached him and took his gloved hand. "WE'VE GOT A PIE VICTIM!" she squealed, and all dancing ceased as kids raised their voices with glee and clapped their hands.
"Pie victim?! What is this... pie victim?" Zim said suspiciously before Candace pulled him to his feet and Brad and that guy dressed in a superhero suit came forward armed with pies. A drop of whip cream fell on his finger and he hissed as it burned. "Ready?!" Brad said as he lifted a pie and aimed it toward Zim's face.
Well, this wasn't good.
-----
You guys, I TOTALLY know where this is going now, so you can bet that there won't be an extended period of non-updating again. I usually do that because I have no idea what else to do, but now I know what's going on and I know how I'm going to end this. So review!