Started 2004.01.17
Finished 2004.06.14
Teaser "Youji's Obsession"
by Damascus Ochre
Impossible to think beyond the pain. Heh, maybe that's why I choose to drown myself in these addictions. Alcohol, cigarettes, sex, and--of course--good ol' sleep. Gotta love that Sleep. Fun character. Anyway, crying works, too. Then again, tears do nothing if they refuse to fall for the right reasons. Not that I'd cry. No, Youji Kudou refuses to cry before the presence of anyone, even himself. Haha, he even speaks in the third person about me; it mingles with first person, too.
Gods, I must be drunk off my ass.
Anyway, what was I saying? Oh, yeah: pain. What kind of pain, you ask? The pain…you know, the one that comes when you think too hard. No, it's not a headache from drinking too much. It's the reason why I was drinking so much in the first place. Alcohol dulls the sharpness of your mind's bitter retorts. It's fun; you should try it.
Heh, yes, I approve of becoming an alcoholic. Lol.
What a funny acronym. Laugh out loud. Haha. Does that really mean to laugh aloud? And why does that really matter? If you're laughing inside, then isn't it as effective as if you're laughing aloud? We are able to see laughter in the eyes of others. Take our sexy little Ayan for instance. I mean, hey, you'll probably never hear him laugh beyond his hacking and slashing at enemies; only then will you see him cracking up and crying because it hurts so much to laugh so fucking hard. You know?
I think I might be going insane. Someone stop me before I go over the edge--or not. Either way, I don't think I really care anymore.
Back to my semi-sane rantings. Drowning yourself in sleep is probably the "safest" way to get rid of the pain. Strong emphasis on "safest." If you're asleep, it's less likely that you'll succumb to the darkness--no, not the darkness; rather, the bright light of understanding that comes with thought. Sleep provides a cushion for you to lean back on: comfortable, time-consuming, and just plain in-fucking-credible. Sigh. It's nice not to have to worry. Even the dreams containing your worry don't really hurt, because you can just think of it as being just that: a dream.
Oh, you must be curious now: what the hell's making Youji Kudou be such a goddamned idiot? Do you really want to know, or should I just shut up and leave you frustrated that you spent four--nah, that's too long…hmm--maybe two minutes of your life trying to figure out what kind of a deeper meaning is hidden in my words--if there even is one to exist. Haha, I guess today's your lucky day, because now I'm feeling a bit sympathetic, so I'll spell it out for you.
I love him.
Heh, I said I'd spell it out for you, but I never said I'd tell you the details. Oh, well. You'll just have to come kill me now for dying of frustrating curiosity; don't worry, I'll try not to enjoy it too much.
But gods, is he gorgeous…
And I should stop drinking so much vodka…
Silly silliness ensues! Yotan is pining! What is he going to do??? And who the hell is he pining for???? You'll just have to wait and find out! XD The more reviews I get, the more I'll be willing to continue!!!!
…okay, I'm done sounding like a salesperson…[[walks away slowly…then turns around and screams]] SO HURRY UP AND REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!! [[runs away before pitchforks and torches can be brought to her door--screaming the entire way. That rabid pink fuggerbunnies are coming to town. On Santa's sleigh. Ready to tear you apart. Then bring you all hope and joy. To the little girls and boys. All courtesy of Ohki-chan. XxU]]
- Kit -