Authors Note: I was in one of my moods today. I hope that no one finds my sarcasm offensive. Tell me if you want me to continue this story.

Summary: A closer look at Hermione's innermost thoughts. This story is told in diary format.

Disclaimer: This story is based on character and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books, Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Confessions of an Annoying Know-it-all
By: Fidelius Charmer

March 22, 1998-12:32 p.m.
Library

Breath, that's what I need to do, but I can't remember how. What did I do to deserve a 99? Would it have been so hard for Snape to give me one more measly point? That man is incapable of giving any Gryffindor a non-biased grade. I mean for Gods sake, even Draco Malfoy got a 100 and I could have sworn I saw that ferret cheating. It aggravates me that no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to get full marks in potions this year. My essay on the various uses of flobberworms was genius. So then, the question still remains; how did I get a 99?

The practical is this Thursday and if that slimy git does not give me full credit I swear I will go on a murderous rampage. Well maybe nothing that drastic, I am after all supposed to set an example for the lower years. We can't have them killing each other now can we? No, of course not. But I won't go down without a fight. Maybe a good temper tantrum would suffice; it always works with Harry and Ron.

Speaking of which, where did those two disappear? I'm positive I told them to meet me at the Library after lunch to study. Something tells me they got sidetracked. I'll give them the next five minutes to get here, if they're not here by then, I'll go look for them. How I hate having to do that; it's a waste of time really.

12:37 p.m.
Corridor outside the Library

Right well, it's been five minutes. I guess they've opted to waste my precious time. I'll just head over to Gryffindor Tower to see what's taking them so long.

12:53 p.m.
Head Girl Dormitory

What I saw just moments ago was enough to make me thoroughly ill. Because of it, no amount of coaxing will make me leave this room. I will just have to live here for the rest of my life. Surely Dumbledore won't mind. Who thought Harry could bend that way-eck! Do not think about that Hermione! Have you gone daft? Shouldn't you have stopped to think that perhaps there was a very good reason for the wards placed on the boy's door?

I mean I know the guys enjoy each other's company, but having a foursome together is definitely pushing it. I'm surprised that Lavender and Pavarti agreed to it. Well actually, no I'm not. Those two are the horniest bunch of materialistic sluts in the history of Hogwarts. It's no secret that they've slept with every boy in our year. I should know; I've had to listen to their chattering for the past six years. Guess how jubilant I was to find out that I'd made Head Girl. The only reason I had worshiped the title all those years was because I knew that a private dormitory came with the package.

Hmm, I wonder if Crookshanks would be willing to scratch my eyes out...

1:29 p.m.
History of Magic

Well I couldn't miss class, now could I? Of course not! Doing so would go against the very ethics of my being. Anyway, no sign of Harry or Ron, I guess they're too embarrassed to come down, either that or their using my appearance as an excuse to skip class. It's most likely the latter if you ask me.

Even I agree that Bins' lectures lack any sort liveliness. Well, what do you expect from a dead guy? I think I'll just charm my quill to take notes for me.

3:46 p.m.
Arithmancy

I adore Professor Vector, but couldn't she make her assignments slightly more challenging? Her charts never take more than half the class time to complete, for me at least. Actually, forget I said that. I do enjoy watching Malfoy struggle to complete his work. Pity though that he always does. Right now he's biting the tip of his quill; it's a very amusing nervous habit of his. I commented on it once; he sneered at me, saying that at least he could afford replacing them and to toss off, which I did.

Oh look, he's got a lurker. I think I'll just stare at it. Hopefully he'll become all self-conscious and ask to run off to the loos.

3:49 p.m.

Malfoy just left. He was muttering something about me being filthy mudblood and whatnot on his way out the door. Doesn't he realize that name-calling is so 6th year? I guess not.

5:25 p.m.
Head Girl Dormitory

Returned to find Crookshanks eating Neville's toad again. I guess I'll have to buy him a replacement next Hogsmeade visit. It's really starting to cost me. Well, at least Neville never notices the difference. Poor guy thinks his toad's part chameleon. I'm never going tell him that it impossible for chameleons and toads to cross breed.

Oh, I ran into Malfoy in the corridor. I said hello as I walked by; he flicked me off in return. Some people just don't have any manners.

5:42 p.m.

Crookshanks just found my jewelry stash. He's chocking on my sapphire pendant. I think I might need to buy a new cat as well...

5:44 p.m.

I decided that buying a new cat was too expensive.