Chapter Five
By darthelwig
I don't own the characters, and I'm not making a profit off this story.
This story is rated R.
Thank you to everyone who has reviewed me thus far. I appreciate the input.
Hermione spent the next couple of days in a fog.
Ginny didn't make another advance, though Hermione could see the desire in her friend's eyes. She didn't know what to do about it. She was happy with Ron. He was everything she had hoped for, everything she had dreamed. He treated her pretty well, for a guy who didn't get the slightest thing about girls, and he tried his best to make her happy. This was what she had always wanted, wasn't it?
Yet, though she spent every waking moment she could with him and every night in his arms, her mind still dwelled on Ginny. She could still feel the burning desire for Ginny's touch along every nerve ending in her body. A single look from Ginny was all it took to send her heart racing with passion. How could she love Ron so much and still want so badly to make love to his sister?
The worst part was, Ginny seemed to know exactly the effect she was having on Hermione's frazzled nerves. She played Hermione liked a well-tuned instrument, shooting her heated glances which inflamed the tempest of her desire during inopportune moments. She was arousing Hermione to the point of a frenzy without laying one finger on her. Ron had never done such a thing to her. She wasn't sure he was capable of it. The pleasure they found together wasn't nearly the same as the ecstasy she had found in Ginny's arms. What did that mean? Was she ready to give up on Ron now that she finally had him? Is that what was right? Is that what she really wanted?
Questions plagued her. For the first time in her life, her mind had no answers to give. She had never planned for this eventuality, had never imagined it could even happen. She had no idea how to continue. What was real and true and lasting? She had nothing to base her judgment on. There were no books to help her on this subject and no one she felt comfortable asking. She couldn't go to Harry. He was Ron's best friend. She couldn't put him in that position. And she had no other close friends available to her. The person she had always discussed these things with had been Ginny.
Problem was, she wanted Ginny. She could no longer deny it. The knot of desire Ginny had awoken in her had never faded. Ron couldn't touch it, no matter what he did to her in bed. Only Ginny had been able to stroke that flame, build it up and release it to burn her up from the inside out. Hermione supposed she should be afraid of it, intense as it was, but she couldn't bring herself to be. It was a part of her, a part only Ginny could reach.
She wished that she could make a decision already. It was unfair to do this to Ron, and she didn't want to hurt him. But she also found herself yearning for Ginny to touch her again, aching for the time when her secret lover would end this cat-and-mouse game and simply take her, like she had two days ago. That memory kept replaying in Hermione's mind, driving her mad with lust. If Ron noticed anything, he didn't seem to mind, but her body was in overdrive and it was all Ginny's doing.
This intensity of emotion was completely new to Hermione. Ron had never been able to inspire such a wide range of need within her. Yet Ginny, who had never been more than a friend before this, had ignited her deepest desires.
Was this love? Was this intense, prowling thing within her heart the first stirrings of a deep, abiding passion? How could she know? This was nothing like the stories had promised. There was no definite knowledge in her soul crying out that this was the love she had always yearned for. There was only the fact that she was closer to Ginny than to most people and cared for her deeply. And, above all, her longings were all directed at the other girl.
If this was love, then, what to do about it? Should she wait and see? Wouldn't that hurt Ron more than if she simply told him what was in her heart right now? And what about Ginny's feelings? She didn't want to make her wait, especially if she was going to be Hermione's choice of destiny.
Perhaps Ginny had been right. Did she want the safe, pleasant love that Ron could provide her, or the passionate, consuming love that Ginny held out so willingly? Her head told her to stay with Ron but her heart demanded more. If she had found her mad, ardent love in Ginny, didn't she owe it to herself to take it?
Hermione knew what her answer had to be.
She wanted it all. She wanted everything life had to offer, and Ginny was it. Ron made her happy, but it wasn't how she had imagined things would be. She had found the heated fervor she had been longing for all her life in Ginny's arms, not his. Did she love Ginny? Was it more than just lust that she was feeling?
She thought it might be. Her heart told her it was. It was just hard not to listen to her head, when she had spent her entire life so far doing just that. But she would not let herself ruin this chance for true happiness. She and Ginny shared something special, and she would allow nothing to interfere with that.
Now all she had to do was let Ron down. Easier said than done.