The Secret Heartache of Hermione Granger

Chapter Seven

By darthelwig

I don't own the characters.

This story is rated R.

Special thanks to everyone who has reviewed this story. I hope that this final chapter is everything you hoped it would be. It was a bloody difficult write.

            She never wanted to hurt him He knew that. It was just terribly difficult to lose someone you always thought would be there for you.

He knew they would still be friends if he wished it. He mind understood that she still loved him in her own way. She would always be his friend. It was his heart that couldn't handle the betrayal and the loss. His heart was screaming with the agony of losing her being 'in love'.

She had been his for too short a time. He had discovered too late that he needed her. Now her decision was made and he could do nothing to change her mind. He knew he deserved this. He had let things go for too long, trusting that nothing would change between them until he was ready, but their time had come and gone, it seemed. And now there was nothing left to do but try to be happy for them.

He wanted to be. He loved his sister deeply. If one thing could be said about his family, it was that they loved each other more than anything. Ginny was his cherished little sister. No amount of teasing or fighting could ever change that.

But now she had Hermione.

He had wanted Hermione for so long, without even realizing the depth of it. He had spent years at her side before he discovered the simple truth that he loved her. And even then, he couldn't say the words. He couldn't admit that he wanted that beautiful, bossy and highly intelligent witch to be his own. She outstripped him by far in every ability. She was brilliant and amazing and caring. He thought now how remarkable it was that he hadn't seen himself falling in love with her.

But why wouldn't he have? She was magnificent. But she was also worth far more than he was, and that knowledge had kept him quiet in those instances when he had wanted to take her in his arms and kiss her. She would have let him have her, he knew. She loved him. But how could he do that when he didn't deserve her?

Then there was Victor to think about. Her friendship with the Quidditch player could have so easily developed into something more. Ron knew Victor had wanted it to. He had to give the other man some credit. He had never given up. Even now he sent her letters, hoping she would change her mind and give him half a chance. Victor had thought Harry was the obstacle but those around Hermione knew better. She had been waiting for Ron.

And he had made her wait a long time. Now he understood how truly stupid he had been. She couldn't wait forever. Her heart couldn't handle that. It had to eventually move on. And so she had. Her desire lay elsewhere now. With Ginny. It was so obvious to him now how he had screwed things up. He only wished he had seen his mistakes sooner.

And so his anger was gone. The hurt would fade. But the sense of loss was as sharp and cutting as it had been that first moment, when he had seen them kissing in the bushes. He felt like a huge piece of his heart had been ripped away, the hole left raw and bleeding. He felt like he was slowly dying from it. His heart ached in his chest, the pain his punishment for his apathy. He should have tried harder for her. He should have done better by her. But now it would be Ginny who was given that opportunity.

He knew that Ginny would never fail her. Ginny was observant and loving, always thoughtful about other people. She would be better for Hermione than he could ever hope to be. Now he just wanted the pain to go away. He wanted to share in the joy they were experiencing. He wanted to be a part of their happiness together, if being with Ginny was what it took to make Hermione happy. And it seemed as though it was.

He could be happy for them. He knew what he wanted now.

Hermione was sitting on the bed in Ginny's room, leaning back against her lover as Ginny ran a brush softly through her thick hair. This had become one of their favorite nighttime rituals. The feel of the brush sent shivers down Hermione's spine, causing a warm know of desire to flare in her stomach. Ginny's hands were amazing on her skin as well. She would let her fingers trail lightly over the sensitive skin of Hermione's neck and shoulders as she worked the tangles out of her curly tresses.

That was how Ron found them, both focused on the pleasures found in their private world. Hermione's eyes were closed and her lips were slightly parted. He could see the flush of desire which was spreading over her fair skin. Arousal pulled at him, but he stamped it down, willing it away. This sight was not for him. Not anymore.

He looked down and cleared his throat, hoping to catch their attention, and it worked. Ginny paused in her brushing to look up at her brother, his lanky form filling the tiny doorway. She didn't speak, she simply watched him, her eyes wary.

In Ginny's eyes, Ron looked…defeated. There was no other word for it. His shoulders were slumped and his face was pinched with resignation and determination. Pity welled up within her and she had to fight back a sudden onslaught of tears. She loved Ron so very much and she hated to see him in pain, but she knew this was for the best. She had never seen Hermione happier than she had been these last few weeks. Everyone else had accepted their relationship already. Ron was the only one who still had issues with this, and she didn't blame him at all.

She knew how it would have been for her if Hermione had chosen Ron instead. For a while there, she would have sworn Hermione was going to. It had been a dream come true when Hermione had confessed her love, so Ginny could completely understand what her brother was feeling right now.

"Ron, did you need something?" Hermione asked, her voice guarded and strained. Ginny moved her hands to her lover's waist to give her some moral support and Ron struggled to find the words that would break his heart forever.

"Hermione, I love you. I'm sorry that I never showed you how much. I'm sorry for everything. But I know how happy you are now and I'm glad for you." He swallowed against a sudden lump in his throat, and Hermione just sat there, speechless.

"I should have done so many things differently… But that's the past and I can't change it now, no matter how much I'd like to. I guess I came by to say that I'm happy you're happy. That's all I've ever wanted for you, you know. I'm not angry anymore, okay? I just…I just needed to say that."

Hermione slid off the bed and slowly approached Ron, whose tears were now spilling silently down his cheeks. She wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him tight, and he grasped her to him, burying his face in her hair. He held her for a minute before pulling back, sniffling a little.

"I love you, Ron. You're still one of my best friends. You always will be."

"Thanks," he whispered, gently brushing his knuckles over her cheek. He kissed her lightly on the lips, taking in the feel of her one last time, before smiling tenderly at his sister and walking back downstairs.

Hermione watched him go, feeling that part of her life coming to an end in that moment. Ginny came up behind her, rested her cheek on Hermione's shoulder and hugged her.

"He'll be okay now," Hermione whispered, a wisp of a smile touching her face. Ginny nodded in silent agreement. Then Hermione turned around in Ginny's arms and kissed her with all the passion she possessed for the girl. It left Ginny breathless with desire.

"Promise me something, my love," Hermione said softly, placing another softer kiss on Ginny's lips.

"Anything," her lover replied.

"Let's not keep secrets ever again."

Ginny smiled at her and nodded.

"Never again."