Poachemon
Chapter 8
James was tearing at the eyes for the loss of his beloved butt-faced pokemon. "Oh Jesse, why didn't I think ahead? Why didn't I figure out that it couldn't punch itself off the sun?!" Jesse slapped him multiple times.
"SHUDDUPSHUDDUPSHUDDUP!!! I don't wanna hear another word about that hideous creature until you're dead!"
"But Jesse, if I'm dead then how can I talk about it?" His answer came with a shove as he went sprawling down a cliff.
"Pewter city, here I come!" Ash drove his stealth bomber for a landing. Apparently, he landed in a parking area for police officer bombers. Officer Jenny ran to Ash to clear things up.
"Young man, this is a parking area for employees only! I demand to know why that stealth bomber of yours is here!" Misty whispered into Ash's ear.
"Ash, the only reason that they all look alike is that they're robots."
"OK." Ash took a deep breath. "Officer Jenny, I am a new model. I was sent by the government."
"Oh, carry on then." Jenny marched off in a very robotic manner.
Ash wiped the sweat off his brow. "That was close, I was almost gonna get arrested! So, Misty, where exactly is the gym that you're talking about? All I see is a bunch of houses and a stupid poke mart." Misty flipped open a map she had taken out of her pocket.
"Ash, it amazes me how anyone could be so stupid. It's underground, drrr! The public can't see it! According to this map, there should be a secret elevator somewhere in the poke center."
"Alright then, lets go!" Ash ran to the poke center so he could acquire his first Poachemon gym badge.
Ash walked in the poke center to find Nurse Joy talking to one of her duplicates on the phone. "Model #39872, the model assigned to Viridian city, has not responded to any of the calls I've been giving her." Oh crap, Ash thought! I can't let them suspect that it's me!
"Hello, Nurse Joy! How's it going?" Misty elbowed him in the stomach for causing too much attention to him.
"Just fine. May I see your pokemon, please?" Man I'm stupid, Ash thought! I don't have any pokemon! I've got to think of a diversion!
"Um, I think my jealous friend threw one of my poke balls in here because I defeated him in a match! Let me go get it!" He grabbed Misty's arm and rushed to the back room. "Misty, I'm gonna slap you silly if we don't find that elevator this instant!" Misty poked at a few cardboard boxes, and one of them opened up to reveal an underground entrance.
"See, I know what I'm doing." Misty jumped in the box, and Ash followed. They arrived in a very rocky arena, with messes of assorted boulders every which way. A voice was heard from inside the shadows.
"I am Brock, leader of this Poachemon gym. Are you ready to start your battle?" Ash eyes adjusted to the darkness as he saw a tan man with a green vest and tan pants. His strangest feature was his eyes.
"Not quit, give me a minute." He rushed Misty to a secret part of the gym. "Misty did you see his eyes? That guy looks like he's practically blind! They're all squinty and stuff!"
"Ash, shouldn't you be concentrating on how to beat him instead?"
"Oh yeah. Don't worry, I saw this guy standing outside of the arena. He reloaded my gun and everything! This loser should be a piece of cake!" Ash confidently strutted over to where the seemingly blind man was standing. "I'm ready when you are!"
"Good. The point requirement is 80 points. I will release the Onyx and Geodudes. Onyxes are worth 50 points, and geodudes are worth 10. We may use 2 weapons. Begin!" Brock flipped on his jetpack, and zoomed around the arena. He had a sniper I his hand, ready to knock off the challenger.
Ash flipped open his pokedex to examine the two emerging pokemon. "Geodude, the rock type pokemon. For some anonymous reason, this pokemon floats. No one knows why, and no one really cares. Its shape is perfect for a bowling ball. Onyx, the rock worm type. The end of its tail is sharp enough to cut through steel, making a very strong knife." Ash didn't like the part about the Onyx, but it was too late. The worm opened his mouth, and ate Ash. The battle was over. Ash awoke at the underground hospital, with Misty by his side.
"Misty, what happened?"
"You were eaten by an Onyx. Your losing record was the fastest on yet."
"How did I get OUT of Onyx?"
"I don't wanna tell you. If I were you, I try upgrading my arsenal. Those Uzi bullets will bounce right off those rock types." Good idea, Ash thought.
Ash was taking a stroll around Pewter city to help him think. A man in tattered clothes came up to him. Ash noticed he had equally squinty eyes, much like Brock's. "Get away from me, homeless guy!"
"I'm not a homeless guy! Listen, I'm Brock's dad. I was gonna tell you a heart-breaking story about how his mom died and how he has to provide for his family because I don't fell like it, but now, I don't really care." Ash was glad he skipped all of that worthless sentimental junk. Brock's Dad got in front of Ash's path. "Anyway, I know how hard that particular gym battle is. That's why I'm making you an offer to upgrade your Uzi. It will have sharper, more destructive bullets.
"You mean, you can make my Uzi evolve?"
"Exactly. What do you say we get down to it?"
"OK!" So Ash and the blind, homeless guy worked all day and night, upgrading his Uzi so he was ready for the next battle with the other blind dude.
Brock turned around. "I see Onyx's lunch is back to be eaten again?"
"Shut your mouth, squinty eyed boy! I'm not gonna lose to you this time!"
"Whatever. Let the battle begin!" He flipped on his jetpack and flew to a hiding spot where he could snipe Ash.
"Even though I got an expensive upgrade from your dad, I'm not gonna use it. Ash took out what looked to be a pair of car keys and pressed a button on them that said, "locate." His stealth bomber came rather fast. Unexpectedly, a bullet knocked off his hat.
"Shoot! I was sure I had him in perfect shooting range!" Ash laughed at how he said the word, 'shoot' twice. He then spotted an on-coming Onyx.
"Come here, Onyx! Try and eat me again!" The Onyx was thoroughly cheesed off, and went straight for the plain. The stealth bomber dropped a bomb into the Onyx's mouth and rocks flew everywhere. Yes! Just 30 more points to go! A bullet broke through his window, and made a hole in the pilot seat. "Hey, those were leather seats!" Ash dropped a bomb near Brock, so his vision, (if there was any) would be impaired by the bright light. A bunch of geodude floated up to his plane and started punching the windows. "Get off!" Ash took his Uzi and shot through the window, knocking off three geodudes. Yes! He had barely enough points to win!
Brock presented his badge to Ash. "Ash, you have no idea how much I want to kill you right now. But, rules are rules." Brock walked away into the shadows once more.
Ash strutted along the side road, celebrating his victory. Brock ran up to catch up with him. "Ash, can I go with you?"
"Why? Do you like Misty or something? Or do you just wanna reclaim your glory for me kicking your A?"
"I went easy on you. And no, I don't like Misty. You see, I've watched you poach, and I've realized that you are very stupid. Girls like smart dudes. By hanging around you, I'll look smarter. Get it?"
"Dude, you'll probably end up marrying Michael Jackson. With those squinty eyes of yours, you couldn't tell if a girl was pretty or not!"
"Would you shut the heck up about my eyes?!" Brock punched Ash in the face, causing him to tumble down the mountain and crash his head into a rock. Misty and Brock began to laugh whole-heartedly, until Misty also punched Brock for that comment about not liking her. Then she laughed more.
Chapter 8
James was tearing at the eyes for the loss of his beloved butt-faced pokemon. "Oh Jesse, why didn't I think ahead? Why didn't I figure out that it couldn't punch itself off the sun?!" Jesse slapped him multiple times.
"SHUDDUPSHUDDUPSHUDDUP!!! I don't wanna hear another word about that hideous creature until you're dead!"
"But Jesse, if I'm dead then how can I talk about it?" His answer came with a shove as he went sprawling down a cliff.
"Pewter city, here I come!" Ash drove his stealth bomber for a landing. Apparently, he landed in a parking area for police officer bombers. Officer Jenny ran to Ash to clear things up.
"Young man, this is a parking area for employees only! I demand to know why that stealth bomber of yours is here!" Misty whispered into Ash's ear.
"Ash, the only reason that they all look alike is that they're robots."
"OK." Ash took a deep breath. "Officer Jenny, I am a new model. I was sent by the government."
"Oh, carry on then." Jenny marched off in a very robotic manner.
Ash wiped the sweat off his brow. "That was close, I was almost gonna get arrested! So, Misty, where exactly is the gym that you're talking about? All I see is a bunch of houses and a stupid poke mart." Misty flipped open a map she had taken out of her pocket.
"Ash, it amazes me how anyone could be so stupid. It's underground, drrr! The public can't see it! According to this map, there should be a secret elevator somewhere in the poke center."
"Alright then, lets go!" Ash ran to the poke center so he could acquire his first Poachemon gym badge.
Ash walked in the poke center to find Nurse Joy talking to one of her duplicates on the phone. "Model #39872, the model assigned to Viridian city, has not responded to any of the calls I've been giving her." Oh crap, Ash thought! I can't let them suspect that it's me!
"Hello, Nurse Joy! How's it going?" Misty elbowed him in the stomach for causing too much attention to him.
"Just fine. May I see your pokemon, please?" Man I'm stupid, Ash thought! I don't have any pokemon! I've got to think of a diversion!
"Um, I think my jealous friend threw one of my poke balls in here because I defeated him in a match! Let me go get it!" He grabbed Misty's arm and rushed to the back room. "Misty, I'm gonna slap you silly if we don't find that elevator this instant!" Misty poked at a few cardboard boxes, and one of them opened up to reveal an underground entrance.
"See, I know what I'm doing." Misty jumped in the box, and Ash followed. They arrived in a very rocky arena, with messes of assorted boulders every which way. A voice was heard from inside the shadows.
"I am Brock, leader of this Poachemon gym. Are you ready to start your battle?" Ash eyes adjusted to the darkness as he saw a tan man with a green vest and tan pants. His strangest feature was his eyes.
"Not quit, give me a minute." He rushed Misty to a secret part of the gym. "Misty did you see his eyes? That guy looks like he's practically blind! They're all squinty and stuff!"
"Ash, shouldn't you be concentrating on how to beat him instead?"
"Oh yeah. Don't worry, I saw this guy standing outside of the arena. He reloaded my gun and everything! This loser should be a piece of cake!" Ash confidently strutted over to where the seemingly blind man was standing. "I'm ready when you are!"
"Good. The point requirement is 80 points. I will release the Onyx and Geodudes. Onyxes are worth 50 points, and geodudes are worth 10. We may use 2 weapons. Begin!" Brock flipped on his jetpack, and zoomed around the arena. He had a sniper I his hand, ready to knock off the challenger.
Ash flipped open his pokedex to examine the two emerging pokemon. "Geodude, the rock type pokemon. For some anonymous reason, this pokemon floats. No one knows why, and no one really cares. Its shape is perfect for a bowling ball. Onyx, the rock worm type. The end of its tail is sharp enough to cut through steel, making a very strong knife." Ash didn't like the part about the Onyx, but it was too late. The worm opened his mouth, and ate Ash. The battle was over. Ash awoke at the underground hospital, with Misty by his side.
"Misty, what happened?"
"You were eaten by an Onyx. Your losing record was the fastest on yet."
"How did I get OUT of Onyx?"
"I don't wanna tell you. If I were you, I try upgrading my arsenal. Those Uzi bullets will bounce right off those rock types." Good idea, Ash thought.
Ash was taking a stroll around Pewter city to help him think. A man in tattered clothes came up to him. Ash noticed he had equally squinty eyes, much like Brock's. "Get away from me, homeless guy!"
"I'm not a homeless guy! Listen, I'm Brock's dad. I was gonna tell you a heart-breaking story about how his mom died and how he has to provide for his family because I don't fell like it, but now, I don't really care." Ash was glad he skipped all of that worthless sentimental junk. Brock's Dad got in front of Ash's path. "Anyway, I know how hard that particular gym battle is. That's why I'm making you an offer to upgrade your Uzi. It will have sharper, more destructive bullets.
"You mean, you can make my Uzi evolve?"
"Exactly. What do you say we get down to it?"
"OK!" So Ash and the blind, homeless guy worked all day and night, upgrading his Uzi so he was ready for the next battle with the other blind dude.
Brock turned around. "I see Onyx's lunch is back to be eaten again?"
"Shut your mouth, squinty eyed boy! I'm not gonna lose to you this time!"
"Whatever. Let the battle begin!" He flipped on his jetpack and flew to a hiding spot where he could snipe Ash.
"Even though I got an expensive upgrade from your dad, I'm not gonna use it. Ash took out what looked to be a pair of car keys and pressed a button on them that said, "locate." His stealth bomber came rather fast. Unexpectedly, a bullet knocked off his hat.
"Shoot! I was sure I had him in perfect shooting range!" Ash laughed at how he said the word, 'shoot' twice. He then spotted an on-coming Onyx.
"Come here, Onyx! Try and eat me again!" The Onyx was thoroughly cheesed off, and went straight for the plain. The stealth bomber dropped a bomb into the Onyx's mouth and rocks flew everywhere. Yes! Just 30 more points to go! A bullet broke through his window, and made a hole in the pilot seat. "Hey, those were leather seats!" Ash dropped a bomb near Brock, so his vision, (if there was any) would be impaired by the bright light. A bunch of geodude floated up to his plane and started punching the windows. "Get off!" Ash took his Uzi and shot through the window, knocking off three geodudes. Yes! He had barely enough points to win!
Brock presented his badge to Ash. "Ash, you have no idea how much I want to kill you right now. But, rules are rules." Brock walked away into the shadows once more.
Ash strutted along the side road, celebrating his victory. Brock ran up to catch up with him. "Ash, can I go with you?"
"Why? Do you like Misty or something? Or do you just wanna reclaim your glory for me kicking your A?"
"I went easy on you. And no, I don't like Misty. You see, I've watched you poach, and I've realized that you are very stupid. Girls like smart dudes. By hanging around you, I'll look smarter. Get it?"
"Dude, you'll probably end up marrying Michael Jackson. With those squinty eyes of yours, you couldn't tell if a girl was pretty or not!"
"Would you shut the heck up about my eyes?!" Brock punched Ash in the face, causing him to tumble down the mountain and crash his head into a rock. Misty and Brock began to laugh whole-heartedly, until Misty also punched Brock for that comment about not liking her. Then she laughed more.