What Should Have Been
Dragonlance One-Shot
Summary: Short piece in Raistlin's perspective. Was inspired by a LJ meme.
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own Dragonlance and I'm not making any money.
I dream, and in my dreams not only do I see what has happened, but what is happening. This I can live with because in a way when people think of me I live on. But what plagues me is those dreams of what could have been had I done something different.
What would have I said instead?
In those dreams I have a son that looks, ironically, like me, only like you as well. The amazing thing is that this son of yours exists, but not by me. Oh, and this hurts.
What should have been?
The amazing thing is that I still dream of what should have been. He should have been my son, our son. I still half think of him that way. Why shouldn't I? Whenever you see him, indeed, whenever he sees himself in the mirror, the first thought is of me, and of the possibilities. Ah, the millions and millions of possibilities.
What sweet irony.
I could have told you what I felt. What I saw when I saw you after all those years. I didn't have to see with my eyes, no, no, I could see by closing them too. By listening to your voice, smelling your faint perfume when you walked past. Just soap? Smelled heavenly on you, something to look forward to whenever you came near.
And now you are here, and I see what should have been our son stand by his father.
My brother.
I shouldn't be surprised that you picked him. He always did get those I was interested in. You were, still are, sweet and innocent. Oh, and quick and intelligent. You may have not been very educated but what you learned you simply picked up by being observant. How like me you are, but you would so insulted by that.
You don't have to be afraid of me, Tika. I will not hurt you. I just wish you happiness and wish I could be part of it, of you.