"You can come in," Luka said, in response to Abby's knock. "I'm decent." She opened the door.
"I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking," Abby said. "I'm freezing."
"No problem." The room was too dark for Abby to see Luka's expression, but his voice was as mild as ever. He moved over to one side of the bed, making space for her. Abby spread the second blanket across the bed, and got in beside him. But not too close.
"Thanks. Even with the sheet over it, that leather is really cold."
Luka didn't answer, and Abby couldn't think of anything more to say. How many times had she slept with Luka? But never in this bed. It had always been in her bed, or in the hotel. He hadn't even bought a bed yet when it had all fallen apart. She felt strange lying here. Strange, even with the physical and emotional space between them. Or, perhaps, because of it. After a few endless minutes, he asked "Are you getting warmer?"
"Yeah, much warmer." And then the thought popped into her head that she'd probably be even warmer with Luka's arms around her. A thought that she pushed away irritably. This was crazy, she didn't even like Luka that much any more! He was doing her a favor, that was all, and she'd accepting because she had no other choice. That was all.
It was still very early, and Abby wasn't tired. She stared into the darkness for a while, then turned her head to look at Luka. His eyes were also still open, staring into his patch of darkness.
After a while he said, "Just like old times?"
"Not quite. I think we used to wear fewer clothes." If he could make flirtatious jokes, she could too. She could pretend to be relaxed; comfortable with this impossible situation.
"That's true." A little more silence. "So, what are we going to do tomorrow?"
'What do you think?' thought Abby. 'We're going to sit and look at each other for about 14 hours, and I'm going to go crazy.' But she said, "I don't know. Go skating?"
A few more minutes of awkward conversation and forced jokes, interspersed with long silences.
Abby looked at her watch. Not even 9 o:clock. When was she going to get tired enough to fall asleep?
"What the hell happened?" A sudden question from Luka.
"What?" The question startled her, coming out of nowhere.
"Us," Luka asked quietly. "What happened to us?"
"Ummm... we broke up?"
"I thought it was Carter. I thought it was all about Carter, but it's been months, and you're not with him. Carter's with Susan."
"Not anymore. They broke up too; the other night."
"But he's still not with you." Luka still spoke quietly.
"That's true." What did he want her to say?
"So ... what was it then? I know I screwed up, Abby ... but maybe ...."
"Luka, this isn't the best time or place to talk about this."
"So, what is the right time or place?"
"I don't know. But not now." Not, Abby thought, while I'm lying in bed with you ... trying very hard to not think about the fact that I'm lying in bed with you. "Let's just go to sleep, ok?"
----------
Abby woke up suddenly --- from a very ... interesting .... dream. Luka was in the dream, and she was smiling, even as she woke from it. As she came fully awake she realized that she was warmer than she'd been all day. And there was something scratchy on the back of her neck. Luka was lying pressed up against her back, with his face against her neck and his arm around her. Just like old times. This was how Luka had liked to sleep. Before. They'd often joked that there was no point in having a queen sized bed, when they always ended up inhabiting only 20% of it anyway.
"Luka," she whispered. She tried to slide away from him, but she already perched at the edge of the bed. Had probably been trying to move away from him in her sleep. Or maybe not.
"What?" Sleepy. Or asleep.
"What exactly do you think you're doing?"
Abby removed Luka's arm from its position draped across her body, and managed to turn over without falling out of bed. Luka was blinking at her sleepily, still not quite awake.
"I knew this was a bad idea," she said.
"Sorry," mumbled Luka, finally awake enough, apparently, to realize just what the problem was. "I guess I'm trying to stay warm."
"Sure." Abby sat up. "I'll just go back to the sofa, ok?" She wasn't going to try to analyze, at least not right now, if her discomfort was from not liking what had just happened, or from liking it.
"No, you don't have to do that. It won't happen again." Luka retreated to his side of the bed again. "Just go back to sleep."
Abby sighed and lay down again. After a minute she turned to look at Luka, but he had his back to her. "I know it wasn't your fault," she said softly. "It was just ... awkward, you know?"
Luka didn't turn to look at her. "I'll be more careful. Now go to sleep."
She shut her eyes and tried to return to sleep. It had been a rather interesting dream, but she knew she wouldn't be able to return to it, and wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not.
"I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking," Abby said. "I'm freezing."
"No problem." The room was too dark for Abby to see Luka's expression, but his voice was as mild as ever. He moved over to one side of the bed, making space for her. Abby spread the second blanket across the bed, and got in beside him. But not too close.
"Thanks. Even with the sheet over it, that leather is really cold."
Luka didn't answer, and Abby couldn't think of anything more to say. How many times had she slept with Luka? But never in this bed. It had always been in her bed, or in the hotel. He hadn't even bought a bed yet when it had all fallen apart. She felt strange lying here. Strange, even with the physical and emotional space between them. Or, perhaps, because of it. After a few endless minutes, he asked "Are you getting warmer?"
"Yeah, much warmer." And then the thought popped into her head that she'd probably be even warmer with Luka's arms around her. A thought that she pushed away irritably. This was crazy, she didn't even like Luka that much any more! He was doing her a favor, that was all, and she'd accepting because she had no other choice. That was all.
It was still very early, and Abby wasn't tired. She stared into the darkness for a while, then turned her head to look at Luka. His eyes were also still open, staring into his patch of darkness.
After a while he said, "Just like old times?"
"Not quite. I think we used to wear fewer clothes." If he could make flirtatious jokes, she could too. She could pretend to be relaxed; comfortable with this impossible situation.
"That's true." A little more silence. "So, what are we going to do tomorrow?"
'What do you think?' thought Abby. 'We're going to sit and look at each other for about 14 hours, and I'm going to go crazy.' But she said, "I don't know. Go skating?"
A few more minutes of awkward conversation and forced jokes, interspersed with long silences.
Abby looked at her watch. Not even 9 o:clock. When was she going to get tired enough to fall asleep?
"What the hell happened?" A sudden question from Luka.
"What?" The question startled her, coming out of nowhere.
"Us," Luka asked quietly. "What happened to us?"
"Ummm... we broke up?"
"I thought it was Carter. I thought it was all about Carter, but it's been months, and you're not with him. Carter's with Susan."
"Not anymore. They broke up too; the other night."
"But he's still not with you." Luka still spoke quietly.
"That's true." What did he want her to say?
"So ... what was it then? I know I screwed up, Abby ... but maybe ...."
"Luka, this isn't the best time or place to talk about this."
"So, what is the right time or place?"
"I don't know. But not now." Not, Abby thought, while I'm lying in bed with you ... trying very hard to not think about the fact that I'm lying in bed with you. "Let's just go to sleep, ok?"
----------
Abby woke up suddenly --- from a very ... interesting .... dream. Luka was in the dream, and she was smiling, even as she woke from it. As she came fully awake she realized that she was warmer than she'd been all day. And there was something scratchy on the back of her neck. Luka was lying pressed up against her back, with his face against her neck and his arm around her. Just like old times. This was how Luka had liked to sleep. Before. They'd often joked that there was no point in having a queen sized bed, when they always ended up inhabiting only 20% of it anyway.
"Luka," she whispered. She tried to slide away from him, but she already perched at the edge of the bed. Had probably been trying to move away from him in her sleep. Or maybe not.
"What?" Sleepy. Or asleep.
"What exactly do you think you're doing?"
Abby removed Luka's arm from its position draped across her body, and managed to turn over without falling out of bed. Luka was blinking at her sleepily, still not quite awake.
"I knew this was a bad idea," she said.
"Sorry," mumbled Luka, finally awake enough, apparently, to realize just what the problem was. "I guess I'm trying to stay warm."
"Sure." Abby sat up. "I'll just go back to the sofa, ok?" She wasn't going to try to analyze, at least not right now, if her discomfort was from not liking what had just happened, or from liking it.
"No, you don't have to do that. It won't happen again." Luka retreated to his side of the bed again. "Just go back to sleep."
Abby sighed and lay down again. After a minute she turned to look at Luka, but he had his back to her. "I know it wasn't your fault," she said softly. "It was just ... awkward, you know?"
Luka didn't turn to look at her. "I'll be more careful. Now go to sleep."
She shut her eyes and tried to return to sleep. It had been a rather interesting dream, but she knew she wouldn't be able to return to it, and wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not.