Author's Note: This was originally supposed to be a one-shot based on the song "One of These Mornings" by Moby, but somehow turned into a multi-chapter, eventual Tifa/Vincent. I'm hoping I can revive it and complete it
One of These Mornings
Chapter One
How did things end up like this? It's the same routine, over and over. Wasn't this the life I always wanted? Yes, I tell myself, turning on the stove, getting out the pans, like I do every morning.
I wanted a simple life, out of the slums, with Cloud. I have all of that. So why am I not satisfied? Why do I feel like something's missing? I know the answer. It's because something IS missing. Love.
I love Cloud, I know that. Or do I? Lately my emotions have been so confused. I thought the search for Sephiroth had brought everyone in AVALANCHE closer together, especially Cloud and I. But Sephiroth's defeat seems to have driven us all apart. As soon as the chaos subsided, we all went our separate ways, and things went back to normal, like nothing had ever happened. But some things have changed.
Now, there are no slums, no AVALANCHE, no Aeris. I think that's what changed everything the most; her. Cloud only has eyes for her, and how can I compete with a ghost? And one who gave her life for the Planet, nonetheless? I can't. And what's worse, I can't hate her.
And so it's separate bedrooms, separate lives, same house. Every morning, I wake up early, make Cloud breakfast, then open up Seventh Heaven. And he never says anything about it, besides a hurried 'thank you.' When did I begin living a life of dull routine and unappreciation?
Sometimes I tell myself I'll leave, and start living my own life. I look at Cloud as he eats and I think, one of these mornings, you'll wake up, and I'll be gone. But I can never bring myself to do it. After all, where would I go? The entire reason Cloud and I decided to live together was because we both had no one, and nowhere to go to. I thought that maybe, just maybe, after awhile, he would start to love me. Sure, there's the affection that comes from friendship, from sharing a living space, from growing up together and fighting alongside one another. But that's all there is.
One of these mornings, Cloud. You'll look for me, but I'll be gone.
A voice whispers in the depths of my mind: Why not today? The thought stops me in my tracks. Why not today? Why not now? I could leave; Cloud probably wouldn't notice for hours. He may not even care. That clinches it; I go upstairs and into my bedroom. It doesn't take me long to pack, I don't have that much to begin with. I only need one more thing. Opening the closet door, I stand on tiptoe to reach the highest shelf, and the small box tucked into the furthest corner. As I open it, I can't help but smile. The Premium Heart, my cherished weapon. It even has all it's mastered materia still on it.
On my way out the door, I pause and look back into the kitchen. I take the time to go back and put away the pans; I don't want Cloud to jump to any conclusions. If he comes downstairs and finds everything scattered, he might think I've been kidnapped or something.
A note, that's what I need. He deserves that much at least. I don't tell him where I'm going, because I'm not sure of that myself. I force myself not to look back as I walk out the door.
Midgar has changed so much in just a few months. The Plate is gone, and everywhere flowers and plants are starting to sprout. I can't help but wonder if Aeris is behind it somehow. As I watch the city flas by, I lean my head against the window of the train. Part of me will miss it; after all, Shinra is gone, and I'd just gotten my new bar off the ground. But then again, I'd never wanted to spend my entire life behind the counter of a bar. Back then, I'd done it to earn some cash when I'd first come to Midgar. Then it became only a front for Avalanche's headquarters. Still, a part of me will always miss those days.
Will I miss Cloud? Of course. Cloud . . .will you miss me? Or will you give yourself over to the memory of Aeris. Please don't think I've abandoned you. Please, don't come looking for me.
As the scenery changes from the run down buildings of Midgar, to the grassy plains outside the city, I can't help but sigh. And I can't help the tears that start streaming down my face.