Disclaimer: All you fan-fic readers know the drill by now. I'm not J.K so obviously I don't own Harry Potter (much as I'd like to), BUT I do own this plot. Well, the bits of it that the voices in my head aren't dictating...

Let Us Never Speak of This Again

Harry clutched his head as his scar gave a particularly painful twinge. Then suddenly he started laughing hysterically. His friends watched disconcerted as he rolled around on the floor chortling like a maniac. It took a long time for him to finally recover, as every time he managed to calm down enough to explain to perplexed audience he only managed a couple of words out before starting up again.

"It's Voldemort-" He gasped out before stopping and holding his breath to ward off the chuckle that threatened to escape. "He-" Another short pause where he went red in the face. "He's drunk as a skunk-" This time a snicker escaped. "Completely off his head-" another short pause to recuperate. "Pissed to the eyeballs!!"

The others were listening in amazement.

"Are you sure?" Hermione ventured, her voice conveying skepticism and fear for his sanity.

Harry was set off again, and it took several minutes for him to calm down enough to explain why.

"Sorry, just got the visual confirmation."

"You're taking the mickey now, aren't you," Ron exclaimed, disbelief tingeing the very air around him.

"No," Harry replied, desperately trying to stay in control over the laughter that threatened to overcome him once more. "Even if I didn't already know from the mental connection, there is no way that the leader of the Death Eaters and his not so merry band would ever play Truth or Dare if they weren't completely plastered."

"Truth or Dare?" Neville repeated in shock.

"Truth or Dare." Harry nodded to emphasise the confirmation. "And the silly twit just picked 'dare...' hang on a second... No! That's just wrong!! Make it stop!!!"

"Wha-" Ginny began before Harry cut her off abruptly, his face ashen.

"Trust me, you don't want to know. Suffice to say, I'm never going to look at..." An extremely loud noise was heard from behind the door. It was ignored in the face of more important matters. Harry continued as if nothing had happened, "...the same way again."

Ron groaned in frustration. "What, Harry? What will you never be able to look at the same what again?"

"You have to tell us!" Hermione was adamant in her pursuit of the missed words.

Harry just shook his head. It was to much. He could never soil his lips with that word again.

Ron hit the stone wall in annoyance.

Luna, who had been quietly taking in events from one side walked over to him.

"I heard," she said quietly into his ear. And she told him the few words he had missed. Thunderstruck, he stood there for a couple of minutes, mouth opening and closing, but nothing coming out except air. Then with little ceremony he climbed to the window ledge and jumped.

Everyone rushed to look out.

"Lucky we were on the ground floor," Neville said relieved.

The next day when Ron emerged from behind the curtains of his four-poster bed, his hair was transformed from it's usual ginger shade to a rather plain brown colour. It remained that way for the rest of the month. Harry also noticed that Ron's Cannon's posters and the hat he had given him were not seen for quite some time.

Luna appeared to suffer no side effects and carried on her life as normally as she ever had.
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Shall I Shut Up Now?

A/N: This was originally a random bit of insanity that popped into my head. Hope you like the end result, either way - review!