Bitter Sweet
Summary: And as I watched the ebony haired hero of mine... the ebony haired hero of the world, I fell in love all over again. I fell so much in love with the man that would cause the beginning or the end of the world.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Bitter Sweet
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"This is... this is the end. I cannot ask for you to risk your lives to save mine or anyone else's... But I can for Harry..."
"For Harry..."
I stared around the large group of Witches and Wizards that were ready to fight for our cause. The group that was ready to die to save the future; die to give Harry the chance to defeat Voldemort (which Harry had made me start calling him now). Harry sits alone in his room at Grimmauld place... Sirius' old room, as it were. I saw him staring at pictures of his family members... His mother so beautiful with her red-auburn hair. Oh, Professor Lupin would tell story after story with Sirius about Harry's mum and dad. I remember them quite clearly, as does Harry, apparently. As I walk into the room I sit down next to him, on the surprisingly comfortable bed... I rest my head upon his shoulder and I look at the pictures with him.
And as I sit there... I wish for nothing else but to turn to Harry and to tell him it will be all right. That he will face the evil that has captivated this world... that he would be able to defeat Tom Riddle. I used to believe that he could; once I had heard of the prophecy, I was certain he had to have been born for a reason. If not to save the world, then what else? I wanted very much to turn to look at him and tell him the truth. That now I don't think we'll have that future we planned on.
We used to stay up late talking... when we had just started being friends. We'd talk about loads of stuff; some minor, other's major. Remarkably enough, we fell in love. I was so happy the day Harry had asked me to be his girlfriend. But then again I was astounded that he would ask... He had a lot going on... certainly finding me as a suitable girlfriend was too much. But not for Harry. I tired my hardest to be Harry Potter's dream girl. I tried my best to please him... to make my kisses better... to make my appearance fuller. But it didn't seem to please him. I remember all the times I'd be sitting in the common room with my school uniform on... he'd come back from classes and sneak me into Hogsmeade, or even the kitchens. He'd rather have me be ready in five minutes then take up time he could be spending with me. And now I realize why.
Such an ending this may be, for the love of my life. He may walk out to battle and come back victorious... and he may not. It's hard to grip the fact that Harry has less then a day to be with me... Of course he may come back. He's still staring at the pictures in Sirius' old photo album. He stares down at his parents who are kissing at Hogsmeade, or holding hands as they walk to the Great Hall for supper, or even when they're lounging on the couches sharing a snog, and throwing pillows at Sirius for taking a picture of them.
And as I watched the ebony haired hero of mine... the ebony haired hero of the world; I fell in love all over again. I fell so much in love with the man that would cause the beginning or the end of the world. Harry smiled slightly as he looked at a picture of his father playing Quidditch. Taking a chance I normally wouldn't, I leaned up and pulled Harry's face to mine. Taken aback slightly, I heard a soft thud as the album fell to the floor; Harry turned and pulled me closer to him, kissing me softly but quickly at the same time.
After a moment of kissing I felt tears falling down my face. How could life be this unfair? How could anyone take him away from me now? When I just won his heart; when I haven't been happy with him for long enough? Who could be so cruel... as to tear away two new found lovers; two young kids that are just trying to find a future together?
And as I kiss Harry for what seems like the last time, all thoughts of marriage leave my head. I no longer can picture us standing at the alter, Harry looking fabulous with his messy hair and broad shoulders. I no longer can imagine people congratulating us for having a baby, Harry by my side throughout the whole labour and birth. I no longer can see Harry and I going to Hogwarts reunion, or growing old together. I see only death...
I was pulled out of my reverie when Harry stopped kissing me. I looked up with my tear stained face and Harry looked down in concern.
"Don't mind me," I manage to choke out. "You've got... far more... im- important things..."
"Gin, you're so important to me," he said softly. "More then you can ever know."
"Let me know, Harry... please let me know," I begged as I threw myself in his arms.
"What are you crying about?" he asked, trying to make a joke out of the situation.
"I love... I love you, Harry. And now... I'm so afraid this is the end."
"The end of what, love?"
"Everything... end of the world, end of everyone... end of us... end of you."
"Do not you have faith that I can do this?" he joked, laughingly.
I choked back a sad smile. "I have all the faith in the world... but even now all it all seems hopeless. We have the Boy-Who-Lived, the Order, the Army, more than half the Wizarding World, Professor Dumbledore, the Minister... But good doesn't always prevail over evil--"
"If you believe enough... and if you try hard enough it will, Gin."
"I know you've done great things... extraordinary for a nineteen year old-- "
"Don't be afraid to lose me," he ordered softly.
"How--how can you say that?" I asked incredulously.
But in my mind I know the answer already. I know why Harry isn't afraid to die. Why he wants me to rejoice for the Wizarding World that is at victory now. He wants me to realize every bit of help, every caution is being used or taken to help this one cause. Why does he choose now to be selfless of all the times? Why can't he tell me what I want to hear? If he's scared of death... why, God, why can't he tell me? But the answer to that too is clear. He's not afraid, because this is his roll. This is what he was born to do; it is now what he's prepared him to die to do.
More tears creep down my cheek as I remember all the scolds I had gotten... all the people who were astounded Harry had fallen for me. Poor Ginny Weasley, they'd all say. Fell in love with the Boy-Who-Lived... fell for a lost cause... for a man who was sentenced to death before he was born. Once again the questions flood back of why they choose him. Why my love, over Neville? I was brought back into thought when I felt Harry's lips on mine again.
"I'm so afraid to lose you," I sobbed quietly into his chest.
"I'm right here," he said reassuringly.
"Yes," I said rubbing my eyes. "But will you be here in two days? Will you kiss me two months from now? Will you marry me two years from now?"
"Gin... you have to understand what kind of situation I'm in--"
"I know," I said nodding, clinging to his hand. "I still feel aggrieved though, Harry. I still feel at loss... like you've gone already... and left me a widow..."
"The first thing I'll do when I come back, Gin," he said quietly. "Is get us engaged... I love you... And though you'd get over the shock of death being--"
I shook my head. "Have you planned your death? Have you written out your obituary? Have you decided where you would like to be buried? Harry... don't do this to me... to us."
"What am I doing?" he asked kissing the top of my head.
"You're ending it all, that's what you're doing."
"I never want to stop being with you--"
"Then you should be afraid to lose what we've got--"
"Ginny... Ginny listen to me..."
But I wouldn't listen. Instead I pulled him back onto the bed and I kissed him. Softly he started kissing me back, then he ended up being more forceful and wiped my tears away. It was only moments later we heard a knock on our door.
"Hogsmeade," was the only word spoken. Harry got off of me, and walked towards the door. He was prepared, I wasn't.
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The battle was now underway. I never really appreciated all those hexes Fred and George had taught me... until now. I was engaged in battle with an unknown Death Eater. Tonks was at my side. The Order and Army now doubled the Death Eaters. It was two versus one... but they fought like mad. Harry waited, looking over the battle... I quickly glanced at Harry, who was in my line of view, and saw him looking over at me more than once.
Everyone was engaged in battle... except Harry. Voldemort and Harry were going to end all the ends. The battles will cease... the captured will be taken as prisoners. Nobody can help Harry battle for preserving life as it was before... or losing it all to death. Without words, I prayed for my love. And as I saw Voldemort become visible, tears brimmed my eyes, and I saw Harry step forward to meet his challenge. As they battled I saw Harry take the lead step. He was quicker than Voldemort... he had an obvious advantage. I'll never forget what happened next.
"HARRY!"
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My family gathered around the hospital bed as I lay down feeling exhausted, drained, fatigued, wearied, worn, basically any word that was close to tired beyond belief.
"What's his name?"
"James Harold..."
"You'll keep the father's last name, of course?"
"Absolutely," we agreed.
My mother didn't seem at all upset that Harry and I had been physical before we were engaged. That all changed now that I had the results in my arms; eight months after the final battle.
"That's your grandfather, James," I said in a motherly voice. "Here."
My father took my son quietly in his arms without question. I laid back in my bed, staring at the ceiling and watching more tears fall down my face.
"James Harold Potter... Harry would've wanted to name him that," assured Ron, a quiet expression on his face as he held Hermione close to him.
"It's a real shame," tutted the nurse who was passing by. I nodded, crying even harder that not only did I have a son, with Harry nonetheless, but that he has never, and will never know his father: Harold James Potter, the boy that saved the Wizarding World by defeating Voldemort twice... the boy with the scar.
Summary: And as I watched the ebony haired hero of mine... the ebony haired hero of the world, I fell in love all over again. I fell so much in love with the man that would cause the beginning or the end of the world.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Bitter Sweet
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------
"This is... this is the end. I cannot ask for you to risk your lives to save mine or anyone else's... But I can for Harry..."
"For Harry..."
I stared around the large group of Witches and Wizards that were ready to fight for our cause. The group that was ready to die to save the future; die to give Harry the chance to defeat Voldemort (which Harry had made me start calling him now). Harry sits alone in his room at Grimmauld place... Sirius' old room, as it were. I saw him staring at pictures of his family members... His mother so beautiful with her red-auburn hair. Oh, Professor Lupin would tell story after story with Sirius about Harry's mum and dad. I remember them quite clearly, as does Harry, apparently. As I walk into the room I sit down next to him, on the surprisingly comfortable bed... I rest my head upon his shoulder and I look at the pictures with him.
And as I sit there... I wish for nothing else but to turn to Harry and to tell him it will be all right. That he will face the evil that has captivated this world... that he would be able to defeat Tom Riddle. I used to believe that he could; once I had heard of the prophecy, I was certain he had to have been born for a reason. If not to save the world, then what else? I wanted very much to turn to look at him and tell him the truth. That now I don't think we'll have that future we planned on.
We used to stay up late talking... when we had just started being friends. We'd talk about loads of stuff; some minor, other's major. Remarkably enough, we fell in love. I was so happy the day Harry had asked me to be his girlfriend. But then again I was astounded that he would ask... He had a lot going on... certainly finding me as a suitable girlfriend was too much. But not for Harry. I tired my hardest to be Harry Potter's dream girl. I tried my best to please him... to make my kisses better... to make my appearance fuller. But it didn't seem to please him. I remember all the times I'd be sitting in the common room with my school uniform on... he'd come back from classes and sneak me into Hogsmeade, or even the kitchens. He'd rather have me be ready in five minutes then take up time he could be spending with me. And now I realize why.
Such an ending this may be, for the love of my life. He may walk out to battle and come back victorious... and he may not. It's hard to grip the fact that Harry has less then a day to be with me... Of course he may come back. He's still staring at the pictures in Sirius' old photo album. He stares down at his parents who are kissing at Hogsmeade, or holding hands as they walk to the Great Hall for supper, or even when they're lounging on the couches sharing a snog, and throwing pillows at Sirius for taking a picture of them.
And as I watched the ebony haired hero of mine... the ebony haired hero of the world; I fell in love all over again. I fell so much in love with the man that would cause the beginning or the end of the world. Harry smiled slightly as he looked at a picture of his father playing Quidditch. Taking a chance I normally wouldn't, I leaned up and pulled Harry's face to mine. Taken aback slightly, I heard a soft thud as the album fell to the floor; Harry turned and pulled me closer to him, kissing me softly but quickly at the same time.
After a moment of kissing I felt tears falling down my face. How could life be this unfair? How could anyone take him away from me now? When I just won his heart; when I haven't been happy with him for long enough? Who could be so cruel... as to tear away two new found lovers; two young kids that are just trying to find a future together?
And as I kiss Harry for what seems like the last time, all thoughts of marriage leave my head. I no longer can picture us standing at the alter, Harry looking fabulous with his messy hair and broad shoulders. I no longer can imagine people congratulating us for having a baby, Harry by my side throughout the whole labour and birth. I no longer can see Harry and I going to Hogwarts reunion, or growing old together. I see only death...
I was pulled out of my reverie when Harry stopped kissing me. I looked up with my tear stained face and Harry looked down in concern.
"Don't mind me," I manage to choke out. "You've got... far more... im- important things..."
"Gin, you're so important to me," he said softly. "More then you can ever know."
"Let me know, Harry... please let me know," I begged as I threw myself in his arms.
"What are you crying about?" he asked, trying to make a joke out of the situation.
"I love... I love you, Harry. And now... I'm so afraid this is the end."
"The end of what, love?"
"Everything... end of the world, end of everyone... end of us... end of you."
"Do not you have faith that I can do this?" he joked, laughingly.
I choked back a sad smile. "I have all the faith in the world... but even now all it all seems hopeless. We have the Boy-Who-Lived, the Order, the Army, more than half the Wizarding World, Professor Dumbledore, the Minister... But good doesn't always prevail over evil--"
"If you believe enough... and if you try hard enough it will, Gin."
"I know you've done great things... extraordinary for a nineteen year old-- "
"Don't be afraid to lose me," he ordered softly.
"How--how can you say that?" I asked incredulously.
But in my mind I know the answer already. I know why Harry isn't afraid to die. Why he wants me to rejoice for the Wizarding World that is at victory now. He wants me to realize every bit of help, every caution is being used or taken to help this one cause. Why does he choose now to be selfless of all the times? Why can't he tell me what I want to hear? If he's scared of death... why, God, why can't he tell me? But the answer to that too is clear. He's not afraid, because this is his roll. This is what he was born to do; it is now what he's prepared him to die to do.
More tears creep down my cheek as I remember all the scolds I had gotten... all the people who were astounded Harry had fallen for me. Poor Ginny Weasley, they'd all say. Fell in love with the Boy-Who-Lived... fell for a lost cause... for a man who was sentenced to death before he was born. Once again the questions flood back of why they choose him. Why my love, over Neville? I was brought back into thought when I felt Harry's lips on mine again.
"I'm so afraid to lose you," I sobbed quietly into his chest.
"I'm right here," he said reassuringly.
"Yes," I said rubbing my eyes. "But will you be here in two days? Will you kiss me two months from now? Will you marry me two years from now?"
"Gin... you have to understand what kind of situation I'm in--"
"I know," I said nodding, clinging to his hand. "I still feel aggrieved though, Harry. I still feel at loss... like you've gone already... and left me a widow..."
"The first thing I'll do when I come back, Gin," he said quietly. "Is get us engaged... I love you... And though you'd get over the shock of death being--"
I shook my head. "Have you planned your death? Have you written out your obituary? Have you decided where you would like to be buried? Harry... don't do this to me... to us."
"What am I doing?" he asked kissing the top of my head.
"You're ending it all, that's what you're doing."
"I never want to stop being with you--"
"Then you should be afraid to lose what we've got--"
"Ginny... Ginny listen to me..."
But I wouldn't listen. Instead I pulled him back onto the bed and I kissed him. Softly he started kissing me back, then he ended up being more forceful and wiped my tears away. It was only moments later we heard a knock on our door.
"Hogsmeade," was the only word spoken. Harry got off of me, and walked towards the door. He was prepared, I wasn't.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------
The battle was now underway. I never really appreciated all those hexes Fred and George had taught me... until now. I was engaged in battle with an unknown Death Eater. Tonks was at my side. The Order and Army now doubled the Death Eaters. It was two versus one... but they fought like mad. Harry waited, looking over the battle... I quickly glanced at Harry, who was in my line of view, and saw him looking over at me more than once.
Everyone was engaged in battle... except Harry. Voldemort and Harry were going to end all the ends. The battles will cease... the captured will be taken as prisoners. Nobody can help Harry battle for preserving life as it was before... or losing it all to death. Without words, I prayed for my love. And as I saw Voldemort become visible, tears brimmed my eyes, and I saw Harry step forward to meet his challenge. As they battled I saw Harry take the lead step. He was quicker than Voldemort... he had an obvious advantage. I'll never forget what happened next.
"HARRY!"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------
My family gathered around the hospital bed as I lay down feeling exhausted, drained, fatigued, wearied, worn, basically any word that was close to tired beyond belief.
"What's his name?"
"James Harold..."
"You'll keep the father's last name, of course?"
"Absolutely," we agreed.
My mother didn't seem at all upset that Harry and I had been physical before we were engaged. That all changed now that I had the results in my arms; eight months after the final battle.
"That's your grandfather, James," I said in a motherly voice. "Here."
My father took my son quietly in his arms without question. I laid back in my bed, staring at the ceiling and watching more tears fall down my face.
"James Harold Potter... Harry would've wanted to name him that," assured Ron, a quiet expression on his face as he held Hermione close to him.
"It's a real shame," tutted the nurse who was passing by. I nodded, crying even harder that not only did I have a son, with Harry nonetheless, but that he has never, and will never know his father: Harold James Potter, the boy that saved the Wizarding World by defeating Voldemort twice... the boy with the scar.