"This potion is the only thing that helps. I'm very lucky to be working alongside professor Snape; there aren't many wizards who are up to making it."
* * * * *
"I came, I saw and I went home again", who said that again? It seems familiar, but I can't really place it.
I did ask Dumbledore again when he wrote, a few days ago, but I haven't received an answer yet. On the other hand, I don't want to ask him too much – I don't really want him telling me off for being too inquisitive and telling me to keep my nose in my own business and all that.
Padfoot.
* * * * *
"Yes, how may I help you?" The bespectacled boy, looking hardly old enough to have been graduated from Hogwarts, seemed utterly bored as he sat behind the counter. Remus couldn't really blame him, working at the Daily Prophet archive probably wasn't that exciting (although he would have loved spending his days among old newspapers).
"I'm looking for information about Igor Karkaroff," he said. He'd figured that maybe rereading all the articles about the Durmstrang Headmaster might prove itself useful, even though he didn't really think it would give the answer or even a clue about the mysterious thing Karkaroff had shown Snape.
"Are you looking for any subject in particular?" the boy drawled. He was starting to get on Remus' nerves with his uninterested behaviour.
"Not really, just anything in which he's mentioned," he answered.
"May I see your identification please?" Remus took out his passport. It looked pretty much the same as a muggle-passport, except that there were some tiny differences only wizards would notice. And of course muggles wouldn't have an extra bit with information about the material and the size of the wand (much to Sirius' annoying amusement when he had got his passport) and an Apparation licence. He gave it to the boy behind the counter, who casually looked at it and gave it back.
"Thank you," he said, not sounding thankful at all. "I'll get you the newspapers. Wait here please." He turned around and pressed a few buttons on a sort of computer keyboard, except that it was made of wood, with gold-coloured symbols on it. A slip of parchment emerged from what seemed like a simple box, and the boy proceeded to type "igor karkarov", using only his index fingers.
"That's Karkaroff, with a double 'F'," Remus said. The boy let out an exasperated sigh and maybe he rolled his eyes as well, Remus couldn't see because the boy's back was turned towards him. He corrected his mistake, however, and pressed a round button on the right side of the keyboard.
For a moment, nothing seemed to happen. Then Remus thought he heard a low sort of rumble, and a rustling like wind through a heap of dead leaves. He glanced around to see where the noise was coming from, but saw nothing. When he turned around again, he noticed that the boy had walked towards a slit in the wall much like a letterbox. Something clicked, and several newspapers flew out of the slit onto what looked like an open wooden drawer. Had Remus been familiar with Muggle computers, he would have compared it to a printer, except that it printed out old newspapers.
The pictures on the newspapers were charmed to stay still, so that the paper would get worn out too soon. However, the moment the boy took them up they started moving again.
Remus received the papers, along with a dull "here you are, sir" and the directions to the reading room. Remus wanted to thank the boy, but he had already taken up his comic book again and didn't respond.
When Remus unfolded the first newspaper, it seemed as if he had travelled back in time. The lay-out was slightly different from the current lay-out, but that wasn't it. It were the headlines, all about Death Eaters and Voldemort, that made him feel as if the War was just over, that the Order of the Phoenix and the Ministry's Aurors were still busy 'cleaning up' as they used to call it back then, and that his friends died only a few months ago…
But he found out that it wasn't as bad as he had thought it would be. There was no painful sting, no trauma's which welled up again, no agonising. Now that he knew who really was to blame, it was somewhat easier to think about it – it turned out that Peter betraying his friends was easier to accept than Sirius betraying them, strangely enough.
The first newspaper didn't give much information, except the mention of Karkaroff's name in a list of sought-after Death Eaters. He went on to the next paper, not wasting time reading the other articles, mainly horrorstories about the things Voldemort and especially his followers had done, and of course dribble about how great Harry was.
The next newspaper was dated six months later, and announced that Igor Karkaroff was caught, by the hands of Alastor Moody (not yet with the 'mad' eye) no less.
"That will be fun at Hogwarts, with those two running around," Remus muttered. He could just picture it: Moody barely keeping himself from hexing the Durmstrang Headmaster, Karkaroff trying to stay away from the ex-Auror, and Dumbledore in the middle trying to keep the peace.
The rest of the article wasn't that interesting, just an account of what Karkaroff had been sentenced for. Remus had actually read and heard worse. The next newspaper came as a surprise, however.
'DEATH EATER SPEAKS OUT' was the headline. A black-and-white photograph of Karkaroff was placed under it, leering at the reader. This was what Remus remembered, and what he had meant when he had called Karkaroff "Igor 'I'll betray my fellow Death Eaters to prove I'm not a Death Eater' Karkaroff": after only a short stay in Azkaban, Karkaroff had given way, and he had named several names of fellow Death Eaters, just to get out of prison. Only one of those names had proven right, but it had been enough. A few months later, the man had been freed by order of Bartemius Crouch.
The article was accompanied by a word-to-word account of what Karkaroff had said, and it was this that took Remus by surprise. It was a mere line, almost said in passing, but when he reread it now, he couldn't understand how he could've forgotten it: Snape had been a Death Eater.
He absentmindedly stuck a finger in his mouth and pensively chewed on it. So old Snape had been one of Voldemort´s supporters. Given the man's background and extremely, well, Slytherin history, it shouldn't have been that much of a surprise. The most logical conclusion would then be that Karkaroff showed Snape something Death Eater-related – Remus didn't buy the man's assurance that he renounced Voldemort. But then there was Dumbledore claiming that "he is now no more a Death Eater than I am". It was all so confusing.
He suddenly noticed he was chewing on his finger. He took it out of his mouth. "Bad habit," he muttered. The entire matter irked him – the thing with Karkaroff, that was, not his bad habits. He had that annoying feeling that the solution to the problem was just out of reach, he needed just one final clue…
The clock outside the reading room struck one. Remus looked up and suddenly, sighing, remembered he had agreed to meet Sabina, Ruth and the Mills-family at half past one. He didn't want to, but he had promised he would be there, so he had to.
He therefor quickly leafed through the fourth and last newspaper, dated a few years later, which didn't contain anything interesting, except an announcement, somewhere in a corner, that Karkaroff was appointed Headmaster of Durmstrang.
Remus took out a sheet of paper from his pocket and spread it over the transcription of Karkaroff's testimony. He brushed his wand over the paper, and an exact copy of the article appeared. He folded the copy and put it in his pocket again; he would later send it to Sirius, maybe his friend knew what to make of it.
He returned the papers to the boy and walked out of the archive and Apparated, albeit rather grudgingly, to his appointment.
Can someone please remind me what I'm doing here? he thought miserably, half an hour later. There are so many other things I could do right now. Like… uhm… watch paint dry.
The problem was that the meetings had got very boring, simply because Sabina and Ruth hadn't quite caught on yet that the method didn't work. Remus had known it from the start, Mr and Mrs Mills had realised it when Remus' suggestion, the Wolfsbane Potion, worked better than the alternative method, but they were all too polite to say it.
The downside of this was that he really had to force himself to fake something even vaguely resembling interest. Especially today he had a hard time concentrating, and he spend most of the time playing with the lemon slice in his tea and thinking about Karkaroff while the others were having a conversation about… something. Only once in a while his attention switched to the others at the table, usually just enough to be able to make a sensible comment.
Before he knew it (but still after too long a time), the meeting was over and he could get outside again. The two witches disappeared after saying good-bye, but the Mills family waited for Remus.
"Hey, what's up?" he said, pulling one of Fay's whiteblond plaits. It was remarkable what effect a few goblets of Wolfsbane Potion had: the fur on her face was gone, her nails were back to normal, and it even seemed that she stood straighter, with more confidence. "I see the Potion worked?" She nodded happily, her yellow eyes shining.
"It worked wonderfully," her mother said. "It was really amazing." Remus smiled at her.
"I know."
"It was really disgusting too," Fay said, wrinkling her nose.
"I know," Remus repeated, grinning. "But it works, that's what counts."
The other three agreed. Remus walked with them to their car (Fay's father was a Muggle and not really font of the wizard way of transportation). When they were almost there, Mrs Mills turned towards Remus.
"You know, we've been thinking…" she began, then stopped.
"Yes?"
"About that professor, who makes the Potion for you – " She explained it as though Remus didn't know who it was, he noticed with a faint amusement, " – We would actually like to meet him."
Remus laughed. "Bad idea."
"But why? We would very much like to meet the man who's made the Potion for Fay, to thank him."
"He doesn't do thanks," Remus explained. Only the thought of it made him smile; Snape standing there in his dungeons, not quite knowing what to do with genuine gratitude.
"He doesn't do thanks?" Mr Mills repeated, frowning.
"No. You see, he's rather…" Remus hesitated. How was he going to put this without making a rude comment? "He rather likes to keep to himself. He doesn't want too many people bothering him with, you know, coming over to thank him and stuff."
"Is he that modest?" Mrs Mills wanted to know.
"Well…" I wouldn't exactly call him modest… Remus thought. "He's just a… very private person. To keep people away, he even lives in the dungeons of Hogwarts – "
He had said the magic word: Hogwarts.
Every child with even the tiniest bit of magic in their blood is brought up with the idea of Hogwarts as some kind of children's paradise with candy and pranks and amazing animals, ruled over by Dumbledore as the peaceful and indulgent king.
Fay was no difference. When Remus mentioned Snape living at Hogwarts, her eyes began to shine, and she pulled Remus' sleeve.
"Does he really live at Hogwarts?" she asked. Remus confirmed this, and now she really clung to his arm. "Could you please take us? Please? Please? Please?"
"But he's really mean and grumpy and you won't like him," Remus told her. She stared up at him with great, yellow, pleading eyes.
"Please?"
A few minutes later, when he Apparated home, he rather detested himself.
I really need to get some kind of training to get more assertive, Remus thought moodily. It was a few days after the meeting. He had obediently sent a letter to Snape asking for what could very well be described as an audience, and he had received something back that one would summarise as 'whatever'. He had taken that as "yes".
And that's how it came to be that he, Fay and Mrs Mills (Fay's father, as a Muggle, couldn't see Hogwarts) were now walking through Hogmeade, on their way to Hogwarts. It was evening (Snape was teaching during the day), but it wasn't dark yet, and it was warm enough to keep one's coat open.
Remus kept an eye out for a familiar black dog, but didn't see his friend, which was rather comforting – at least Sirius didn't constantly stray into Hogsmeade.
Fay was skipping and constantly running ahead and back again, unable to contain her energy. She was overjoyed that she was really going to Hogwarts, and she was asking Remus thousand-and-one questions about it until he told her to just wait and see.
There was no horseless carriage waiting for them at the gates, they had to walk all the way up to the castle, but the look on Fay's face when she finally saw it was worth it.
At first she didn't notice it, too busy with eager talking and bouncing up and down. When Remus stopped her and turned her head into the right direction, her jaw dropped and she froze.
He had to admit it was a magnificent view. They were standing on a curve in the road, which was from that point going downhill, towards the gates of the castle. The castle itself was visible through an opening in the trees, and there was a beautiful prospect over the lake, with Hogwarts on its cliff, looming over it. The many towers and turrets were gleaming in the late sunlight, and suddenly a flock of birds flew past it, looking really small next to the giant castle.
"Wow," Fay whispered. She hadn't noticed her mother and Remus had already walked on until Mrs Mills called her. She ran to catch up with them.
"It's really so enormously big," she said breathlessly. "There must be a thousand people living there."
"At least a few hundred," Remus smiled.
"Is it true they have ghosts?" she wanted to know.
"Several," he told her. "One for every house, and several extra ghosts. And a really annoying Poltergeist called Peeves."
"Do you think we get to see him?" Fay asked eagerly.
"I hope not," her mother answered. She pulled a face. "Really annoying just about sums him up."
As they descended down the road, the lake and the castle came into better view. Remus could now see the Durmstrang ship in the lake, and faint ripples in the water that were probably made by the Squid. The closer they came to the castle, the more excited Fay got until her mother told her to cut it out. They rather quietly reached the large oak doors.
Remus pushed them open and made sure to look around the Entrance Hall before he let Fay and her mother in. He didn't want to run into someone familiar, least of all his fanclub of last year – he wasn't exactly looking forward to long explanations of what he was doing here.
Lucky for him, the Hall was completely deserted, and he quickly led mother and daughter to the dungeons, down the stairs, into the draughty, torch-lit hallways.
"It's really dark down here," Fay whispered. The sight of the Marble Staircase, and Hogwarts in general, seemed to have taken her voice away.
"Hmm," Remus vaguely answered. It was slightly unnerving to see that the dungeons hadn't changed from last year, and it almost felt as if he was going to Snape for the Wolfsbane Potion again. Except that this time he had two people in tow.
He knocked on the door and waited. To his surprise, Snape opened the door himself, and it was even more surprising that they had had to wait only a few seconds. Apparently the Potions Master had been waiting for someone, and not for them.
It also immediately became apparent that Snape was as unchanged as his dungeons.
"Lupin," he said. Remus realised that there was nobody in the world who said his name like Snape did. It wasn't a greeting, it was the establishing of something extremely dirty under his expensive, brand new shoes. Remus had since long learned to pay no attention to it, however.
"Good-evening, Severus," he said pleasantly. "Can we come in or are you busy?" Fay was already peeking around his arm to see what was inside the dungeon.
"I wasn't particularly busy at the moment," Snape said, albeit with obvious reluctance. He hadn't really counted on them coming. "So I guess you can come in."
Fay didn't seem to have enough eyes when she walked inside. She was looking this way and that, trying to see everything at once. She was twitching with excitement, wanting nothing more but permission to go ahead and explore. Even Snape's infamous slimy collection didn't scare her off.
It turned out that they were in the Potion Master's laboratory annex sitting room (that was, there were a lot of cauldrons and ingredients and potion books and scrolls and bottles and what-not, and in a corner there were two seats and a small table crammed on a threadbare rug).
A somewhat awkward silence followed their entrance, only broken by a soft bubbling from a cauldron on a small fire. It didn't help much that Snape was leering at his visitors like an overgrown bat. Remus decided that introductions might be a good idea, someone had to begin anyway, so he broke the silence.
"Uhm, well, let me introduce you," he said. "Snape, this is, err, Ann Mills; Mrs Mills, this is Severus Snape." Snape at least had the civility to shake hands. Then he looked at Fay.
"And this is?"
"That's Fay, the girl I wrote you about," Remus explained. Snape stared down his prominent nose at the smaller girl, who fearlessly looked back up. It's obvious she hasn't sat through one of his lessons yet, Remus thought wryly.
"I see," Snape said finally. He turned around and invited them rather stiffly to sit down. Mrs Mills was the only one who sat down in one of the comfortable chairs – Remus choose to sit on a stool, because there was something uneasy about sitting in one of Snape´s chairs, Fay sat down next to him and Snape remained standing.
Probably because he's towering over us then and he looks impressive, Remus thought.
His former colleague even asked them if they'd like something to drink – although it looked as if he was mentally checking off a list and had now reached 'drinks', after 'introduction' and 'seating'.
Mrs Mills asked for tea and Remus quickly agreed with her, not wanting to be too much of a bother. Fay was looking around the room again and didn't notice the three adults looking at her until Remus nudged her. She jumped.
"Sorry," she said softly. Then she noticed Snape once again staring down at her, this time an eyebrow half-raised (it was interesting, Remus noted, how you could read Snape's mood from the position his eyebrows were in). Fay looked back innocently.
"Chocolatemilk?"
Fifteen minutes later, Remus realised that, once Snape got past the initial hostility and stiffness, he was actually capable of civil conversation. He wouldn't have thought it possible, but there the man was, talking – almost good-humouredly even – with Mrs Mills. Remus figured it must have had something to do with the fact that she was a complete stranger. He himself kept a bit on the side, he didn't want to intrude their conversation and make Snape turn into the nasty Snape Remus knew.
He got distracted when Fay pulled his sleeve with her left hand, the cup with warm chocolatemilk balancing precariously in her right hand.
"Hey," she whispered. "How come our drinks appeared out of nowhere on the table?" The sudden appearance of the drinks had intrigued her, but so far she hadn't dared ask how they appeared because of the glare Snape had given her when she'd bounced a little too excitedly on her stool and nearly toppled over. "Is it magic?" she wanted to know.
"No, house-elves," Remus whispered back. She smiled; the puzzle was solved.
"Hey Remus," she whispered. "What are those things in those jars?" She pointed at Snape's collection.
"Don't know actually," he said truthfully. "They look nasty though."
"D'you think I could take a look?" she asked. She glanced at Snape, but the man was at the moment immersed in a detailed conversation about the Wolfsbane Potion Remus didn't understand.
"Sure, if we don't knock anything over," Remus said. He sounded less careful than he felt, however – he wasn't sure whether Snape would approve of such a sudden examination of his precious collection. But he figured he'd just find out, so he got up from his stool. "C'mon."
He immediately felt Snape's eyes on him but ignored that. Fay got up as well and followed Remus towards the shelves with jars.
It turned out that Snape had charmed the jars so that they lit themselves – it seemed as if a lightbulb was hid under the lid. Greenish light fell on Fay's face as she curiously examined the disfigured animals and the exotic plants that were carefully stored in a sort of lightgreen goo (Sirius would probably call it snot) that kept the objects in perfect shape and prevented them from rotting.
"Where does he get all this?" Fay asked eagerly.
"God only knows," Remus muttered, and he pulled a face when he saw a kitten with three heads. He glanced back at Snape, who had picked up the conversation with Mrs Mills again now that he was somewhat sure they weren't going to juggle his jars. "Come, let's go and see what he's got in those cauldrons."
"Okay." Fay took one last look at a gigantic Venus Fly-trap, then she followed Remus towards the various cauldrons.
"This one's big," she noted when she'd reached the first one. Indeed, she easily could have taken a bath in the massive cauldron. She peered inside. "Oh, it's empty. I wonder if it echoes?" She bowed over to get her head inside, and from a corner of his eye Remus saw Snape tense. He pulled Fay back by the scruff of her neck.
"Let's not do that, unless you want to get Snape angry," he said softly.
"Is that dangerous?" she whispered back.
"Yes, because he'll bite you and then you get just like him," he teased. She giggled.
They quietly continued to walk down the row of cauldrons as if they were in a museum. Neither of them knew much about brewing potions, so they were more admiring the effects and the smoke billowing from the potions than the craftsmanship of the Potions Master.
"What does this one do?" Fay wanted to know when he'd picked her up so that she could look at the colour-changing potion.
"I don't know," he said. He looked around for a book that could give a clue. "It changes colours…"
"And it stinks," she said, wrinkling her nose. Her face made him laugh.
"Yes, it does." The smell was even worse for their sensitive noses; Remus doubted whether Snape or Mrs Mills would notice anything unusual about it.
The four of them looked up when there was a knocking on the door. Snape went to open it, revealing, to Remus' surprise, none other than Dumbledore.
"Good-evening, Severus," the Headmaster said, pleasant as ever. Then he noticed Mrs Mills. "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know you had a visitor." Then he saw Remus and Fay, and a smile appeared on his face. "Remus!" Remus couldn't help but smile back.
"Good-evening professor."
The Quibbler could actually have a point about Dumbledore and Father Christmas being related; Fay was entranced when she saw the silver-haired wizard. Remus put her down on the floor again, but she was too impressed to move.
Snape was mumbling something Remus couldn't understand, but he thought he got the main message: it was Dumbledore Snape had been waiting for, and he now wanted them out of his dungeon. Remus decided to be co-operative.
"Perhaps we should go," he said. Mrs Mills got the hint and got to her feet. Dumbledore politely stepped out of the way so that they could get through the door. Fay couldn't take her eyes off the Headmaster, and he winked at her when she walked past him, making her blush furiously.
Completely star-struck, Remus thought with amusement.
Just as Snape reached for the doorknob to close the door, Remus remembered about Snape's and Karkaroff's left arm, but it was already too late, the door was already closed. After a short moment of frustration, he shrugged it off – Sirius was going to ask Dumbledore about it anyway.
The three of them walked back to the Entrance Hall again. Fay was completely overwhelmed that she was at Hogwarts and had seen Dumbledore, and she was too amazed to say anything.
Remus had just pushed an oak door open, when Mrs Mills spoke. "What's that clunking sound?" she asked. Remus turned around.
A man came down the stairs, supporting himself with a stick. There was a clunk on every other step he did. It took Remus a few seconds before he realised that it was Alastor Moody, and before he knew what he was doing, he had called out the ex-Auror's name.
Moody jumped and looked up, his magical eye fixed on the three people. Remus hadn't seen the eye in real life yet, and its cold light-blue stare was unnerving.
"What?" Moody growled. "Who's there?"
"Remus," Remus said. "Remus Lupin, remember?" Is his memory that bad?
"Oh, Lupin," Moody said, after a moment of hesitation. "Right, sorry. I'm afraid I don't have time to… catch up with you." And he already walked away again, past the three, towards the dungeons. Remus thought he noticed a faint smell of overcooked cabbages, but maybe that was his imagination.
"Who was that?" Fay wanted to know once Moody was gone.
"Used to be a Dark Wizard-catcher," Remus explained, still looking in the direction Moody had gone. Something was puzzling him but he didn't quite knew what. He shrugged it off, almost irritable. He probably was imagining things.
"Come on, let's go."
~*~
Sirius had started to notice that Dumbledore's owl had a slight knack of showing off. It always made a point of landing extra gracefully, or on a really small rock an ordinary bird wouldn't land on. It was probably to show why he was the Headmaster's bird, and not a common school-owl.
He untied the letter from the bird's paw and tore the seal open. The letter was as disappointing as Sirius had silently expected. Dumbledore was as evasive and secretive as usual, not giving any answers whatsoever.
Sirius turned the letter around to write an answer back, but couldn't think of anything to write except 'gee, thanks for nothing', which he didn't think was very polite.
He irritably scratched his head. The problem with letters was that he always thought of a thousand things more to say or ask – five minutes after he'd send the letter. And it always took days or sometimes weeks before he got an answer. Talking was just easier.
After ten more minutes of racking his brains, he scribbled a nondescript answer back ("thanks for your letter, I will think about what you said", something like that) and tied to the owl's paw again. The animal took off, leaving him alone again.
* * * * *
Padfoot, I think you got two things mixed up. It's not 'I came, I saw, I went home again', but 'I came, I saw and I conquered' – Veni, vidi, vici, remember? Julius Caesar? Who conquered the Gaols? I bet they wished he said he went home again…
Yes, sometimes you are being too inquisitive, but that's not always a bad thing. Keep nagging him, especially about Karkaroff – I've enclosed an article about him that you might find interesting.
Do keep writing,
Moony.