Stargate SG-1 Singing "What's This?" – From: The Nightmare Before
Christmas
AN: Yes it is a filk (a song where the lyrics are changed but it can still be sung to the tune of the original song). The lyrics match up almost perfectly to the syllables in the original song, if you listen to "What's this?" you should be able to sing along. Italics are spoken and not part of the song. And by saying Sunnydale at the end I feel the entire story was explained (i.e. they Gated to Sunnydale during the Buffy Musical episode). If you don't watch or like Buffy here's a brief explanation: they sing and dance whither they like it or not.
After a mission briefing SG-1 go through the gate to some planet on a mission. However when they arrive they are immediately surrounded by Goa'uld and their Jaffa (gasp)! Strangely enough they burst into song. This is where our story begins.
Jack:
Oh no! Oh no!
There's Jaffa everywhere
Oh no!
There're gliders in the air
Oh no!
We just walked through the gate
And now we're under-
Daniel:
Run away, Jack, it's a zat!
Jack:
Oh no!
Teal'c:
Indeed. Indeed.
There's something very wrong
Indeed.
There's Jaffa with staff weapons
Indeed.
The planet's lined with
Evil Goa'uld laughing
Everybody seems so happy
Could we possibly have lost?
Extremely...
Indeed.
Sam:
There are Jaffa firing zat guns.
Instead of running away,
We're busy dialling home
And all the Tok'ra are quite dead.
There're Jaffa on every side of us,
Oh, I can't believe my eyes
And in my heart I truly know
That we're all going to die.
Daniel:
Oh, look
What's this?
They're speaking in Goa'uld, they yell?
And yet I understand, their plans!
They're gathering around to plot against us
If I just listen closer...
What's this?
Jack:
What's this?
Over here!
They've got a little tree, how sweet
And who would ever know
If we,
Hid behind it to let Daniel listen close.
We could even make up a plan
And kill the evil Goa'ulds.
So, now, correct me if I'm wrong
This is a plan
This is a plan
Oh, could it be we may survive?
That's good!
Teal'c:
Ah hah!
Indeed.
Major Carter has a plan.
And now, we put the Goa'uld to sleep
No Goa'uld, no Jaffa here to shoot and kill us
Or enslave us, only little bird-like things
Flying near the Stargate.
All:
Ahh...
Jack:
Sweet!
The bad guys are all sleeping
So we go towards the gate
Sam:
And it's probably a good thing
That we brought those smoke bombs
Daniel:
Instead of screams, I swear
I can hear music in the air.
Teal'c:
The smell of charred bodies
Is absolutely everywhere.
Sam: That's kind of disturbing...
Daniel:
The sights, the songs
They're everywhere on... this planet.
Jack:
Everyone get through the Stargate,
Stop this silly singing right now!
Teal'c:
I simply cannot get away;
I can't stop this foolish singing.
I want to leave right now.
Sam:
I want to sing
I want to dance
Daniel:
What is this planet that we have found?
What is this?
All:
Sunnydale?
Hmm...
SG-1 is back in the SGC being debriefed by General Hammond.
Jack: Sir! That's the last time we go to a planet with a singing demon.
Teal'c: I concur.
Daniel: You didn't find that the-the least bit amusing?
Sam: Daniel's right, sir. That was kind of fun.
Jack: So help me if you ever dial that gate again, Major. I can't be held responsible for my actions.
Daniel: So you're going to run away screaming like a sissy little schoolgirl?
Jack: Hah... good one.
Sam: Hey! I was a schoolgirl.
Teal'c: But I doubt that at any point you were a sissy, Major Carter.
Sam: Um... thanks, I think...