The Story
"Ding dong!" went the doorbell as I (Robin) pushed it. A moment later a really, really, old, fat, ugly lady opened the door. "Hello!" I said. "Die!" she said. "Pardon, but did you just instruct me to die?" I questioned. "Die!" the really old and very ugly lady screamed. She then pulled out a chain saw and was about to chop my head in half when... I fainted. When I woke up I thought I was dead but then it occurred to me that how could I bethinking if I were dead.
When I realized that the old lady was right above me she said "Would you like a cookie and a cold glass of milk?" "Sure!" I replied after feeling so light headed and not remembering what had happened before. Five minutes later the lady came out with a steaming batch of cookie and a frosty glass of milk. Then on the other cushion a purple ape popped out and randomly said, "Flossing your hair twice a day will make it minty fresh. Astounded by the ape I said, "That is an interesting fact." Then I woke up. When I realized that the old lady was right above me she said "Would you like a cookie and a cold glass of milk?" Sure and in a few minutes I was eating a chocolate chip cookie and sipping a cold glass of milk.
They tasted sweet, almost too sweet... sickly sweet. Suddenly I grabbed my throat in horror, realizing I was about to give into the lady's demand. How stupid could I have been, taking food from a lady whom instructed me to die without suspecting poison. When I had accepted, it was almost like someone stupid had controlled me... cough ... as if an idiot was writing my life and throwing in stupid details that made absolutely no sense... I wondered how that could possibly be...
Then I remembered that I was dying, and I suddenly saw the old lady. Sitting in front of me, cackling away. I was losing my strength... losing my senses... losing my mind... the old lady still laughing her head off, was growing fainter and fainter... and then... just before I was gone I saw the ugly old lady grab the skin on her face and tear it off... but it wasn't her face it was a mask... it wasn't any old face under that mask... it was Slade.
Then I woke up in heaven. God took one look at me and yelled, "We don't want him here!" Then an angel pressed a large red button and I fell down from the sky and onto a skyscraper and died... again. This time I descended into hell and was hit by a car while descending from the skyscraper. I died (again). Then I didn't go anywhere, neither heaven nor hell. I walked around for a while until I saw the very, very ugly, old lady coming at me with a stick in one hand and a butter knife in the other. I felt safe, a little bit, because the living weren't supposed to see the dead, so she can't really harm me.
All of a sudden I started to pray. I prayed that god would drop an elephant from the sky and it would land on the really, really, mean, old lady. The next second before I knew it an elephant fell from the sky and flattened the old lady. So I lived happily ever after as a ghost and didn't have to worry about the really, really, fat, mean, old, ugly woman ever again.
But now that I have all the time in the world I will play tic-tac-toe with myself... Darn! I just lost!
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"Ding dong!" went the doorbell as I (Robin) pushed it. A moment later a really, really, old, fat, ugly lady opened the door. "Hello!" I said. "Die!" she said. "Pardon, but did you just instruct me to die?" I questioned. "Die!" the really old and very ugly lady screamed. She then pulled out a chain saw and was about to chop my head in half when... I fainted. When I woke up I thought I was dead but then it occurred to me that how could I bethinking if I were dead.
When I realized that the old lady was right above me she said "Would you like a cookie and a cold glass of milk?" "Sure!" I replied after feeling so light headed and not remembering what had happened before. Five minutes later the lady came out with a steaming batch of cookie and a frosty glass of milk. Then on the other cushion a purple ape popped out and randomly said, "Flossing your hair twice a day will make it minty fresh. Astounded by the ape I said, "That is an interesting fact." Then I woke up. When I realized that the old lady was right above me she said "Would you like a cookie and a cold glass of milk?" Sure and in a few minutes I was eating a chocolate chip cookie and sipping a cold glass of milk.
They tasted sweet, almost too sweet... sickly sweet. Suddenly I grabbed my throat in horror, realizing I was about to give into the lady's demand. How stupid could I have been, taking food from a lady whom instructed me to die without suspecting poison. When I had accepted, it was almost like someone stupid had controlled me... cough ... as if an idiot was writing my life and throwing in stupid details that made absolutely no sense... I wondered how that could possibly be...
Then I remembered that I was dying, and I suddenly saw the old lady. Sitting in front of me, cackling away. I was losing my strength... losing my senses... losing my mind... the old lady still laughing her head off, was growing fainter and fainter... and then... just before I was gone I saw the ugly old lady grab the skin on her face and tear it off... but it wasn't her face it was a mask... it wasn't any old face under that mask... it was Slade.
Then I woke up in heaven. God took one look at me and yelled, "We don't want him here!" Then an angel pressed a large red button and I fell down from the sky and onto a skyscraper and died... again. This time I descended into hell and was hit by a car while descending from the skyscraper. I died (again). Then I didn't go anywhere, neither heaven nor hell. I walked around for a while until I saw the very, very ugly, old lady coming at me with a stick in one hand and a butter knife in the other. I felt safe, a little bit, because the living weren't supposed to see the dead, so she can't really harm me.
All of a sudden I started to pray. I prayed that god would drop an elephant from the sky and it would land on the really, really, mean, old lady. The next second before I knew it an elephant fell from the sky and flattened the old lady. So I lived happily ever after as a ghost and didn't have to worry about the really, really, fat, mean, old, ugly woman ever again.
But now that I have all the time in the world I will play tic-tac-toe with myself... Darn! I just lost!
o I x I x
x I o I x
o I x I o