Disclaimer: What do you think? If I owned Star Trek would I even put a disclaimer here?

Spock reached the mess hall in 2.17 minutes, and once he was there raised an eyebrow. The mess hall was empty. He supposed that the humans were too busy readying for the party to eat, which was exceptionally illogical. Or, perhaps, they had already eaten, but Spock doubted that. The tables were extremely clean, and there was no mess anywhere. Unless the humans had abruptly decided to be neater, the remaining members of the Enterprise's crew had not yet eaten.
Spock could find no reason why the humans would do such a thing, and was still pondering it while he walked towards the replicator.


Replicator, a standard sized cup of Plomik soup, and a plate of Fori-kol, please. Spock said.

The replicator made an odd grinding noise, not unlike the sound that computers usually made when malfunctioning, and immediately Spock remembered that the replicator had broken.

Plomik soup is not in the database, The replicator responded, sounding very mechanical and grainy. Fori-kol is also not in the database.

Perhaps Spock could partially fix the replicator. After all, if something was not done about it soon, the ship's crew would have no food. This could become a disaster, as humans became hungry long before Vulcans.

Spock searched the replicator for an identification number, then turned to a nearby computer.

Computer, locate the main database number for replicator 10783.

Database number 4962832. The computer responded. Again, Spock envied this ability of the computer's. If Vulcans could be anything like this, Starfleet would have no use for the computers.

Request permission to enter database 4962832. Spock stated, not really thinking about the replicator. Maybe if all Vulcans trained in Starfleet, they could learn how to do this.

Permission granted. Spock raised an eyebrow. It was illogical for access to main computer databases to be as simple as this. Any hijackers aboard the vessel could easily break into the starship's main security system.

Soon thousands of binary numbers were filling the computer's small screen, and Spock recognized this as the replicator code. It was a pattern of twenty-three numbers repeating without any breaks, meaning that the code was empty. The replicator recognized the names of no foods.

Reset replicator code. Spock commanded the computer.

Code resetting. The computer assured him, yet Spock had an irrational sense that something was going to go wrong.

And he was right. As soon as the computer uttered those last two words, the replicator made a loud crunching sound and emitted three high-pitched beeps. Some sort of fire, possible made of the Cadmium and Oxygen that were in the replicator (A/N - I know, I know... Cadmium and Oxygen don't usually explode when mixed together.... just pretend this is one of the rare occurrences when they do).

Your food is ready. Thank you for your order. The replicator said, and Spock blinked, as he had not recalled the replicator ever saying that before. Obviously he had done something wrong - possibly the outcome of resetting the database while the replicator was processing food had some sort of dangerous chemical reaction to the replicator.

Suddenly Spock realized what the replicator had said - Your food is ready'. It was illogical that the replicator would still work after the database had been reset. Possibly he had underestimated the replicator's power. He looked into it, and, had he been human, would have been amazed. Sitting in the replicator was meatloaf. Spock blinked.

Obviously the method he had used was faulty. Spock made a mental note to tell the Chief Engineer of the problem, then headed back to the bridge. His 14.673 minutes were up.

Once he was there, Spock found the Captain sitting comfortably in his chair.

Oh, hello, Spock. He said, How did lunch go?

I found it quite fascinating. Spock replied.

I won't ask. The Captain said, laughing. Look, Spock, you can go take a break. I'll stay here on the Bridge. Preparing for that party's got me worn out.

Captain, I would prefer to stay. Spock protested, or at least the nearest Vulcans can get to protesting. It was, after all, a very emotional activity.

The Captain sighed. All right, Spock. I guess I'll go eat lunch then. He got up, and was walking towards the turbolift when Ensign Sulu came running in.

I don't like to bother you, Captain, but something's wrong with the replicator,He said, still smiling. Spock watched him, finding it illogical to display such weakness all the time.

Before I could even order,The Ensign went on calmly,It thanked me for my order and gave me some meatloaf. Should I contact Mr. Scott?

The Captain smiled slyly, making him look much like the Doctor. Oh, no, Sulu, you don't have to do that... why don't you ask Spock about it? He should know what's wrong.

*********************************
A/N - Yes, I know.... I'm starting to write meaningless chapters. Oh well. And, just to let you know, I completely made up how the replicator database works, so don't sue me.

Sorry about also having to use Cadmium and Oxygen when they don't usually explode, but I searched the web and my science book and couldn't find two elements that explode. I'll fix that once I find something.

Since no one reviewed, I get to use this space to... talk about pointless stuff! Yes, you can skip this part. Actually, please skip this part unless you have nothing better to do at all.

Um, I watched TNG for the first time last night... it was good, but by the end I was practically screaming, Where are Kirk and Spock and Bones?!?!. So exciting, I know. I think its kind of strange that everyone always compares Spock to Data. They are not at all alike apart from their logic. Actually, I think that you could better compare Spock to Worf (don't get mad at me! I'm not saying Spock is a Klingon!). Listen to this scene between the First Officer of TNG and Worf.. It went something like this...
First Officer: If I didn't know you better, I'd say you were procrastinating.
Worf: Klingons do not procrastinate.
Now listen to it with a few things changed....
Dr. McCoy: If I didn't know you better, Spock, I'd say you were procrastinating!
Spock: Vulcans do not procrastinate.
See what I mean? Yeah, I know.... I'm just going on and on without really making any sense... that's why you weren't supposed to read this...=D


If you are reading this, even if you don't like it, REVIEW!!!!!!

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