Chapter 2 - Reality
"You know what it is, Joey? I've spent the last few months of my existence trying to figure out, how to be without you. I tried acting like it doesn't hurt, pretending I don't care. I guess, I felt like if I acted like I was over you... I would be. And the truth is, most of the time all I wanna do is crawl into my room with my best friend, shut the blinds, and just pour my heart out to her."
"Dawson, I don't think you realise its been just as difficult for me. Its been tearing me apart too. I know we'll always be connected. I know our lives are destined to be intertwined, but..."
"We have to move on."
"Yeah."
"Little bit today... Little more tomorrow..."
-----
Pacey sat on a chair on the porch, sipping his coffee. Joey finally emerged from the tent she and Charlie had set up in the den. She smiled and waved at him as she went upstairs to get showered and changed. He smiled and waved back. But inside he felt sick.
"God!" Pacey cursed himself, "How could I be such an idiot?"
-----
"So," Pacey asked her, inclining his head toward Charlie, "Do you actually follow your own advice, or do I have to dispense it for you?"
"Him?" Joey blushed, "No. That's different. I don't even like him."
"No of course not. The blushing, the flirting, the laughing, the singing..."
"Okay. Maybe I like him a little. But just in that, stupid, fun way. Its not like I can ever see us having a serious future."
"Who's talkin' about a serious future? I'm talkin' about right now!"
"Pacey, what's the point?"
"Uh! The point is, he came all the way down here to see you, and, he called me, a rather intimidating ex-boyfriend to find out where you were. That takes guts."
"Or, he could just be an idiot."
"He could be, but why don't you go find out?"
She grinned,
"Okay."
-----
He didn't regret telling Dawson that Joey had been with Charlie, the man had a right to know. But that look in Dawson's eyes as the words hit home. That look. How many times had he seen that look of utter despair on his friend's face? Like a dream had died.
That Dawson and Joey were twin souls – Pacey had no doubt. He'd watched that special bond build between them his whole life and, if anything, he felt their pain as much as they did. He'd been right there as they tried over and over again to make that perfect love real, and fail every time.
"A pair of star-cross'd lovers, take their life..." he muttered bitterly.
He turned and headed down the steps to where Dawson stood, aimlessly watching the tide roll out.
"Dawson," he called as he got near, "Hey Dawson! Can I talk to you for a second?"
Dawson didn't turn around, "You said what you had to say, Pace, and I appreciate it," he said, "You were right."
"Look, there is no right or wrong here, Dawson," said Pacey, "I know you're the idealist, and I most definitely am the cynic but that's just who we turned out to be. I admire the man you've become Dawson. I've looked up to you my whole life, and I've always wished I could see the world through your eyes, even if its just for one day. And you know what it is that I admire about you, Dawson?"
"What?"
"Its not your belief in fate, or dreams, or true love," said Pacey, "Because believe it or not, I believe in those things too."
"Then what is it?"
"You always do the right thing," he explained, "That time when my boat went down. Even though you and I were so far from being best friends at the time, you still went out in that storm and risked your life to save me."
"Are you gonna arrive at a point anytime soon?" asked Dawson, "Or are you just showering me with compliments to make me feel better?"
"My point is, I came out here to ask if you're gonna do the right thing this time?"
"What is the right thing, Pace?" he asked, "Letting her go?"
"That's it exactly, yes!"
"You know, that's funny," said Dawson, "Because all my life I believed that chasing the one you love, and fighting for that love, was the right thing to do."
"No Dawson, allowing her to be happy is the right thing to do."
Suddenly, Dawson's anger flared, and he swung on Pacey.
"You know what?! I am so goddamn sick of that!" he stormed, "How many times can I just step aside and watch her walk away? She fell for Jack – I let her go! She fell in love with you – I let her go! And, God, it killed me every time, Pace! Every time! Now you're asking me to do it again! For Charlie?"
"At least give the guy a chance."
"A chance?!"
"Hey! I don't trust him either, okay? But Joey seems to like him and that's what matters."
"Dawson! Dawson is that you?"
They both turned to see Joey hurrying toward them, her face lit in a radiant smile. Dawson's breath caught, violently, and a long-ago image of her flashed into his mind.
-----
Their first date.
She was never more beautiful to him than she was that night.
He could still picture her so clearly as she stepped out onto her porch. She couldn't keep the grin off her face, and tucked her hair behind her ear in that self-conscious way he loved so much. He bent down, and plucked a single flower from beside the path.
"Its my first official act as your date," he said, stepping up to her and holding it out, "I figured chocolates... Diamonds... Convertibles... But, eventually I, settled for, foliage."
She took the flower and smiled at him, pure adoration in her eyes.
"Foliage is good."
-----
It was a million years ago now.
"Dawson, what are you doing here?" her smile was warm.
She seemed puzzled, but genuinely happy to see him. His insides tightened but he forced a smile.
"Oliver," he told her.
"Oliver?" she cocked an eyebrow, "What's he done now?"
"Its not so much what he did as what he said, really," Dawson explained, "He pretty much expressed the view that it was insanely stupid of us to be heading toward a meeting that could easily be rescheduled; when we could be spending spring break in Florida. On the beach, drinking beer, chasing girls. It was the, girl part, that convinced me."
She gave an hysterical giggle and hugged him fiercely.
"That's terrific! I'm so glad you're here."
"Yeah,' he whispered, hugging her close, "Me too."