It's four in the afternoon in Sunnydale. Oscar sits on the couch, counting today's haul of treasure while watching Faces of Death III. His girlfriend Sheila lies to Oscar's right, her legs stretched across his lap. She dips strawberries in a bowl of blood before eating them.
CLAUDE: Lovely place. Horrible neighborhood. Sunnydale isn't a good town for rats like you, Cecil.
Cecil turns to his right and sees Claude. Sheila and him stand up. She goes bumpy.
SHEILA: I could use an afternoon snack. So what if you're older than I like my men.
CECIL: Settle down, baby. He's not worth it. [Sheila goes unbumpy]
CLAUDE: Right now, I'm probably worth twenty thousand American to you.
Cecil looks at the front and back doors, which are both still shut and locked.
CLAUDE: You left a window open.
CECIL: How did you find me?
CLAUDE: Oscar. He snitched for your own good. [opens the front door] See?
Cecil stands in the shadow and peers outside.
CECIL: Mercedes S-Class. Last year's model. Looks to in good condition.
CLAUDE: I'll give you it for that one.
He points at a car parked along the curb. Cecil laughs.
CECIL: Is this a joke?
CLAUDE: Why would you say that?
CECIL: Come on! An 89 Civic hatchback?
CLAUDE: Is it hot?
CECIL: Heck no! Who would bother to steal that piece of junk? But yours must be. When did you enter this line of work?
CLAUDE: When I needed a ride. Will this one get me to San Diego?
CECIL: I'm sure it can handle a few hundred miles.
CLAUDE: That's all I need. Do we have a deal?
CECIL: I love doing business with the desperate. I'll go find the keys.
CLAUDE: If you meet the owner of this automobile, feel free to kill him. And anyone working on his behalf.
CECIL: I'm digging this new attitude of yours. Be right back.
Claude and Sheila are left alone.
SHEILA: So . . . how do you know Cecil?
CLAUDE: He does me favors. In exchange, I do Cecil the favor of not killing him.
SHEILA: [laughs] Very funny. To me, looks like it's the other way around. You're only still breathing because he wants your wheels. [thinks for a second, the flashes a malevolent half-smile.] But now he's got your wheels. [she gets bumpy again and looks giddy] So you're only good for one thing.
CLAUDE: You shouldn't treat houseguests like this.
Sheila laughs and leaps for his throat. Claude puts his right hand on her chin, keeping her teeth away from his neck. Then he quickly puts his left hand on the top of her head and spins Sheila around.
CLAUDE: Eventually, one of them will bite back.
In an instant, the tables turn. Sheila's facing away from Claude, with her neck on the verge of being snapped. She gets scared and loses her fangs.
SHEILA: Settle down, cowboy. Cecil ain't gonna give you new wheels if I'm dust.
CLAUDE: I know.
Claude pushes Sheila away and spins her around. She ends up facing him from ten feet away. Sheila's impressed by Claude. She gives him one of her flirtatious half-smiles.
SHEILA: Not bad for an old geezer.
CLAUDE: Now I know what Cecil sees in you. Like him, you have brains enough to run away from fights you can't win. A strong survival instinct is a rare trait in vampires. Which makes me wonder why you're in such a dangerous town.
SHEILA: You mean the Slayers?
CLAUDE: Both. So Faith's also here. Rupert has his hands full.
SHEILA: You stay out of their way, they leave you alone.
CLAUDE: Which brings me back those poor vampire survival instincts. Thank God for them.
Claude dangles a cigarette between his lips, ignites a match against the side of his left shoe, lights the cigarette and enjoys a few puffs.
SHEILA: Hey, can I bum one?
CLAUDE: Here. Have mine.
He flicks the match at Sheila. She knocks it to the floor and stamps it out, acting like a jumpy girl who just had a tarantula tossed at her. Claude smiles.
SHEILA: Jerk.
CLAUDE: Bloodsucker.
Sheila is about to give a comeback, but realizes Claude's insult wasn't actually insulting. At least not from her point-of-view. But, maybe it was from his point-of-view. She's confused. A few seconds later Cecil comes back. Claude and him toss the keys to each other with their right hands and catch them with their left.
CECIL: Baby, did he give you any trouble?
SHEILA: Naw. We're cool. He's harmless.
CLAUDE: Thanks for being useful.
CECIL: Right back atchya.
CLAUDE: You should hope you don't see me soon.
Claude opens the door and walks out. Cecil shuts it and puts his right arm around Sheila. As they walk back to the couch, she puts her left arm around his waist and her right hand underneath his shirt, running her fingers along his chest hair.
SHEILA: Who was that guy?
CECIL: The reason we're never going to Paris.
SHEILA: What's so great about Paris anyway?
Just after sunset, Spike ventured out to meet Cecil.
CECIL: They're back. Right where I said they'd be. Take these. [he hands Spike eleven computer printouts]
SPIKE: What's all this?
CECIL: Where they will be. I figured out the pattern. But it doesn't work when there are less than six. You'll notice that as their numbers decrease, they move closer to the Hellmouth. The distance between each Reaper is proportional to the inverse of the cube root of the number of Reapers remaining.
SPIKE: I don't need the bloody arithmetic.
CECIL: You won't be needing anything more from me. I'm leaving Friday.
SPIKE: No more demons left to plunder?
CECIL: Only the ones not worth the effort. Word of advice: this town is gonna blow any day now. And your Slayer can't stop it. Sorry to bail on such a downer.
SPIKE: It's not the end of the world. And if the demons aren't happy, it can't be anything too hellish.
CECIL: Still looking on the bright side of death. Which reminds me. I'd like you to meet my new squeeze. Be right back.
Sheila's sitting shotgun in the parked El Dorado convertible, scanning the people walking by for possible victims. When Cecil comes, she bounds out, takes his hand and walks towards Spike. He looks over the maps and lights up a cigarette. He's not very interested in meeting Cecil's new urchin. But it's the polite thing to do, especially after all the free help Cecil's given him. Besides, she could be a fan. Spike looks up and sees a teenage girl with short hair wearing low-riding black jeans and a black-and-gray sleeveless shirt which comes down to just above her belly button. She smiles at Spike as she approaches him. His jaw drops and the cigarette falls from his lips. Spike stands there frozen as Sheila puts her hands on his chest, tilts her head, looks up at his eyes and puts her lips three inches from his.
SHEILA: I never got to thank you.
Spike knocks her arms down and pushes her away.
SPIKE: Don't mention it.
CECIL: You didn't tell me you knew Spike. Was he your sire!?
Sheila turns around, gives Spike a smiling backwards glance and walks back to Cecil.
SHEILA: His girlfriend was.
CECIL: You're Drusilla's! [Cecil smiles. He always carried a torch for the vampire he called a Goth Goddess.]
SHEILA: Spike just picked me up, and tied me up, and left me hanging. [turns around, pouts at Spike, and rubs up against Cecil] You disappointed me. All talk and no action. Unlike some men. [Turns her head up to look at Cecil]
CECIL: What do you say to dinner and a movie? Let's hit that drive-in off Route 96.
SHEILA: Sounds romantic. My stomach's already growling. [Cecil puts his hands on her stomach.]
CECIL: Hopefully that won't be the only part that growls. [looks over at Spike] It's been nice working with you again, Spike. Best of luck with the redemptive Slayer loving. Who knows? Maybe you can give her what Angel can't.
Sheila takes Cecil's hand and they walk back to his car. They drive away to the anthemic opening guitar chords of the Clash's "White Man at Hammersmith Palais." Spike gets over the shock of seeing one of his victims and heads for home. Cecil's intel has been good enough in the past for Spike not to bother verifying it on this occasion. He stashes the maps in the basement and takes Buffy, Faith and Giles to a spot he says is just above where a few Reapers are. He's wearing the fedora he used Monday night to behead the Reaper.
BUFFY: Why won't you take us down to where they are?
SPIKE: They're all separate. You'll kill one, the others will sense it and run away. Don't you want a bigger score?
BUFFY: I'd rather not have to fight them all at once.
SPIKE: Just three. I go down there alone, one of them sees me, he runs to join another. Maybe the other one around here shows up. Suddenly it looks like I've blundered into a trap. They attack me, I run back up here, they surface, and have to face all of us.
GILES: A rather elaborate ambush. Especially for you. And I for one would like to see if you could pull it off.
BUFFY: What if they surround you down there?
SPIKE: I'll duck.
Spike pulls off the manhole cover and jumps down into the sewer. Giles, Buffy and Faith wait in a small open field just off a dark, empty two-lane road. Buffy has her broad sword, Faith her sword-and-dagger combo, and Giles wields a bearded ax with a four foot-long handle.
BUFFY: Did you hear something?
Out of the corner of her left eye, Faith sees something shiny zooming towards her. She pulls the sword in her right hand across her body and blocks the flying fedora when it's two feet from her neck. The ping the hat's metal brim makes when it hits the sword startles Buffy and Giles. Panicked, they look in every direction, but can't see anyone. A hat comes for Giles. He ducks, but notices that the hat sliced his ax handle in half. Buffy sees the hat coming for her when it's twenty feet away. She slices downward with her heavy sword and splits the fedora in two. Three Reapers who had been lying in the tall grass stand up and walk towards their targets. Coming from three directions at once, they have Buffy, Faith and Giles surrounded. Giles realizes he's holding a two foot stick.
GILES: This is a bloody fine mess you've gotten us into, Spike.
Down below, Spike finds his Reaper. The demon takes off his hat. Spike does likewise. They throw them at the same time. The hats collide, make a small screeching noise and fall to the ground. The Reapers charges Spike, which is something he was not expecting. The Reaper pulls out his sword and makes two downward slashes for Spike's head. He weaves his head side-to-side and avoids the blade. The Reaper knocks Spike down with a left hook. Spike kicks him away and stands up. The Reaper puts away his sword and prepares to fight Spike hand-to-hand. This is even more unexpected. Spike blocks his right hook and lands a right cross, left jab and right uppercut to the Bringer's face. The demon responds with a quick left jab-right hook combination that knock Spike back a few steps. He puts Spike down with a left roundhouse kick. Spike pulls out his machete and swings for the Reaper's knees. He backs up and allows Spike to get to his feet. Spike tries to hack the demon's arms off, but he knocks the machete to the ground with a left hook kick. Spike lands a right kick to the Reaper's stomach, grabs his jacket and head butts his adversary. When he charges the Reaper, Spike gets thrown over the demon's shoulder. He stands up, dodges a right hook and connects with left and right crosses. The Reaper tries a right roundhouse. Spike ducks under the blow and sweeps the demon's left leg. Having knocked this Reaper down, Spike dashes towards the nest of another one, hoping to spring his trap. Within fifteen seconds, he realizes the Reaper he was fighting isn't chasing after him. Which means he probably chose to surface and attack Buffy. Spike realizes he's been played.
On the surface, it's three-on-three, which means Buffy and Faith are occupied with their own Reapers and can't help Giles. He drops the bottom half of his ax's wooden shaft and picks up what's left: a ten inch-wide blade on a two foot shaft. He takes the awkward, top-heavy ax in his right hand and picks up the hat the Reaper threw at him with his left hand. The Reaper brandishes his weapons. Giles flicks his left wrist as if he is about to toss the hat. This stops the Reaper fifteen feet away. Giles uses the threat of this weapon to stall for five or six seconds. The Reaper keeps his weapons high, protecting his throat. Giles seizes the opportunity and throws for the demon's right thigh. The Reaper leaps in the air and does a forward flip. Giles approaches. When the Reaper's feet hit the ground, Giles swings the ax for his face. The demon's sword and dagger block the ax blade and the weapons become entangled. As the Reaper tries to push Giles away, Rupert kicks him in the chest. After being knocked back five feet, the Reaper charges at Giles, slashing with his weapons before attempting a left roundhouse. Giles hastily backtracks, avoiding the blows but moving farther and farther away from Buffy and Faith.
Faith's Reaper plays defense. He sits back, waits for her attacks, blocks her swords with his own, steps back to avoid her kicks, and launches occasional quick roundhouse kicks when Faith gets in too close. Reapers are too quick to be killed when they don't risk going on the attack. And Faith knows if she ditches him to help out Giles, he'll take her down the moment she turns her back. It would make sense for Buffy's Reaper to use the same sort of Fabian tactics. However, he attacks aggressively. Buffy defends against his relentless charges, slashing, stabbing and kicking. Soon, she finds her opening. Buffy ducks under a left roundhouse, swerves her head away from a left-handed dagger stab for her face, blocks a right-handed sword slash for her stomach, then spins to her left and makes a two-handed sword slash for the Reaper's neck, beheading him. She sees Giles sixty feet away, in desperate straits, and rushes to his assistance. But on her first stride, before her right foot can return to the ground, Buffy gets nailed in the back by a flying right kick from the Reaper Spike left behind. She falls hard on her chin. The Reaper pulls out both his weapons, leaps at Buffy, does a forward flip and swings his sword for Buffy's right knee. Lying on her face, Buffy looks over her shoulder and moves her right leg one foot to the right. The sword cuts into the earth between her legs. If she had done the instinctive thing and rolled over to avoid the blow, her left leg would have been amputated. The Reaper stabs for Buffy's spins with the dagger in his left hand. She does a forward somersault, bringing her up to her feet and out of range of the Reaper's weapons. He charges from behind. She turns and gives him a quick right kick to the face.
Giles blocks the Reaper's repeated sword and dagger attacks with the blade of his ax, swinging twice to force the Reaper to take a step back and buy Giles a few more precious seconds until one of his Slayers can come to the rescue. Buffy's in the fight of her life. The Reaper who attacked Spike appears to be smarter than the others. His attacks are aggressive but not reckless. He anticipates every one of Buffy's counter-attacks. Furthermore, while the other Reapers only go with their blades for the torso, neck and face, he swings for the limbs. Buffy quickly realizes that throwing a kick means risking the loss of a foot. Though her sword is twice as long as the Reaper's, he compensates with footwork, always stepping back when he senses a cut or thrust. Then he blocks her sword with his and hacks at her forearms with his dagger. To be fair, the Reaper is impressed with how Buffy maximizes her tactical advantages and minimizes her disadvantages. But with the Reaper keeping her occupied by doing likewise, Buffy knows that time is running out for Giles.
Sensing his opponent's boredom, Faith's Reaper goes on the offensive to keep her from helping the Watcher. Faith backs up, parries his attacks, then forces the Reaper to backpedal until he regains the offensive and puts Faith back on her heels. They swashbuckle back and forth, slashing and stabbing and spinning and blocking with superhuman quickness. The clash of their weapons colliding can be heard about four times every second. After fifteen seconds of this rapid-fire dueling, Faith holds her ground, her sword against his sword, her dagger entangled with his. For five seconds, they try to push each other to the ground, her face only eighteen inches from his. She notices a deep stab wound on his neck, but can't remember causing it.
Frustrated by Giles's desperate and effective resistance, the Reaper swings his sword down on Rupert's head. When Giles raises his arms and blocks the blow with his ax blade, the Reaper knocks him on his back with a hard left kick to the chest. With his right foot, he kicks the ax out Rupert's hands. Giles gazes up at the demon and his gleaming blades. When the Reaper looks down at his prey, Giles notices the demon has a slash across the top of his forehead. That means he's been hurt before. This give Giles the tiniest scintilla of hope.
Furious that he had been played for a sucker, Spike surfaced and raced at top speed for Buffy. As the fighters came into view, Spike realized it was Giles who needed his help. Just when things appear hopeless for Rupert, Spike yells and goes bumpy as he leaps at the Reaper from the left. Spike tackles the demon, gets on top and starts punching him. Giles breathes a sigh of relief and slowly rises to his feet, recovering from the shock of a near-death experience.
GILES: About bloody time you showed up.
Spike lands three punches before the Reaper pushes him off and stands up. Spike reaches for his machete, then remembers he left it in the sewer. The Reaper approaches with his two weapons.
SPIKE: Bloody hell. [glances to his left as he backs up] Rupert, a hand? Or perhaps something sharper.
GILES: Of course. Because you were such a big bloody help to me.
Spike ducks under a sword slash, grabs the Reaper's left wrist when he tries to stab Spike in the stomach and gut him, then grunts as he punches the Reaper in the face with a left hook, knocking him back six feet.
SPIKE: This is no time to get petty, Rupert.
Spike blocks a right roundhouse with both hands and lands a left hook kick. Going on the offensive, Spike lunges forward and knocks the Reaper down with a mighty right hook.
GILES: Fine. Here's all I've bloody well got, thanks to you.
Giles tosses Spike his ax head. The Reaper had cut the handle down to to the nub. Spikes rolls his yellow eyes.
SPIKE: Is this your idea of a joke? I'm not cutting brushwood here, Rupert.
The Reaper stands up and strides towards Spike. He hurls the ax blade at the Reaper with with right hand and gives his exasperated battle cry as he charges at the enemy. The Reaper blocks the blade with both weapons. Spike anticipated this, and he leaps for the demon's unprotected chest. The Reaper runs right by Spike as if he didn't exist. Spike falls on his face and returns to his human appearance, looking very puzzled.
SPIKE: Must've scared the bugger away.
At the same time, Faith's Reaper turns tail and sprints away. Both Reapers flee towards the road. Faith rushes to Buffy. She sees Faith coming at her Reaper from behind. Buffy smiles and launches a full-on attack, swinging her sword to the left and the right as she walks forward. The Reaper backs away from her blade, and towards Faith. He leaps nine feet backwards in one bound, putting some distance between Buffy and himself, but also getting within Faith's range. She swings her sword for his back. The Reaper bends his knees and leaps forward. Faith whiffs, missing the demon by a fraction of a second. The Reaper sails over Buffy's head, does a forward flip to avoid her upstretched sword, and lands six feet behind her. Once his feet hit the earth, the Reaper sprints for the manhole Spike uncovered and leaps down into it. Even Buffy's impressed. The Slayers join up with Spike and Giles, and the four of them chase the two fleeing Reapers.
His car parked on the shoulder, Claude stands, holding the niginata with both hands and waiting patiently. He yells out in French at the two Reapers who race towards him. Buffy and friends stop sixty feet away.
FAITH: Who's that?
SPIKE: Whoever he is, he's bloody pissed off at those Reapers.
BUFFY: You can understand him?
SPIKE: Only the curse words.
Giles stands there, his mouth agape in stunned recognition.
GILES: I don't believe it. [smiles] Haven't changed one bit, you dirty old sod.
BUFFY: You know him?
SPIKE: Frenchy looks like he's of Watcher vintage. You take men from the Even Nancier Tribe?
BUFFY: Then why are we standing here!? We should be helping him!
Giles grabs Buffy's shoulder to hold her back.
GILES: Don't. He'd take that as an insult, and would never forgive me.
FAITH: Is he nuts? Slayers don't watch Watchers.
Giles lets go of Buffy and holds Faith back.
GILES: You don't know this man. I do.
SPIKE: I say we watch the frog fight to keep his legs. [smiles]
When the Reapers get within range, Claude holds his weapon sideways, parallel to the ground. The eight foot length of the weapon allows him to block attacks from both opponents simultaneously. He moves each end up-and-down and back-and-forth with amazing dexterity, thwarting every cut and thrust no matter how fast they are attempted. The niginata was Claude's favorite weapon. It allowed him to kill vampires from a distance, and was very efficient against multiple adversaries. But the one he owned back home had a wooden shaft, which proved problematic in a fight against sword-wielding Reapers. This was why he took Angel's all-metal weapon. After frustrating the Reapers by stymying their initial attacks, Claude goes takes the initiative. Spinning his weapon around, he jabs and slashes at his opponents, putting them on the defensive. When the Reaper to his left attacks with the sword in his right hand, Claude sees his opportunity. Blocking the sword with his blade, Claude then spins his weapon clockwise, coming at the demon's neck from his now unprotected right side. Beheading this enemy exposes Claude's own right side to attack by the Reaper on his right. Knowing this, Claude quickly spins his body around when the Reaper attacks, maneuvering behind the demon while still keeping his weapon in motion to maintain its momentum. When the Reaper turns around to face Claude, he brings his weapon downward. The blade enters the top of the skull, travels down through the face, neck and chest, and cuts the demon in half. Buffy, Faith and Spike stand forty feet behind him, the three of them made slack-jawed by the slice-and-dice. Claude turns to face them and smiles.
CLAUDE: We had a history. They chased me across Breton.
Claude walks towards them as Giles approaches his old mate.
GILES: Claude.
CLAUDE: Rupere!
GILES: This is certainly a surprise.
CLAUDE: But you know that is how I do my best work.
Claude stabs the niginata into the ground and hugs Giles. He gets a good look at Claude and notices his unusually weather-beaten face.
GILES: You didn't by any chance sail here?
CLAUDE: Only a small part of the way. It's good to see a familiar face again.
GILES: Er, Buffy, Faith, this is Claude Marcel.
CLAUDE: An honor, truly. You are my favorite kind of Slayer. The disobedient kind. The only kind which has a chance in this world.
BUFFY: I take it you're an ex-Watcher.
Claude's distracted. He stares at Spike who hangs back ten feet behind Buffy, feigning disinterest. Surely this can't be who Claude thinks it is.
NEXT: Claude dishes the dirt on Spike and Giles. Especially Giles. They've known each other since they were teenagers.