Chapter 7 - Journey
"Where in the hell are you going?"
Audrey and Jen planted themselves in front of Joey as she came out of her room with her bag. Joey set it down and faced them.
"I'm going after Dawson."
"Oh, you figured out where he is?" asked Audrey.
Joey nodded.
"Well, then I guess I'd better finish packing if we're leaving right this minute."
"I don't need a ride," said Joey.
"Well how are you going to get there?" asked Jen.
At that moment Charlie appeared at the top of the stairs.
"I'm all set," he told Joey, "I'll be downstairs when you're ready."
Joey nodded and he went back down.
"Charlie's taking you?"
"Yes," said Joey, "He is. We talked about it... It was actually his idea that I go."
"Whoah!" Jen put up her hands, "Let me get this straight. I date the guy and he turns out to be a conniving, manipulative son of a bitch who tries to talk me into a threesome with the girl he cheated on me with... You hook up with him for one day and suddenly he's Prince Charming on a selfless quest to help you fulfill your romantic destiny?"
Joey had no answer.
"God, that's depressing..." Jen muttered.
Audrey giggled, but grew serious again when she regarded Joey.
"Are you sure this is what you want?"
"I'm sure," she said, "As much fun as I've had this year. As much as I've enjoyed meeting new people and seeing new things, it... It always comes back to Dawson. Always. I want him to be a part of my life. I want him to be there for every new and exciting thing that happens to me," she paused, "Maybe then we'll have a chance to build something great. Get everything we've ever wanted."
-----
"Did you love Capeside, Dawson?" asked Pacey, "I mean, did you truly love growing up there?"
Dawson removed his eyes from the road for a second to look at Pacey. He frowned, wondering where this was going.
"I guess," he said, hesitant, "Our own leafy little hamlet complete with white picket fences and a creek, what's not to love?"
"I hated it there, growing up," Pacey told him, "I was like Joey, I saw it as a prison. Of all of us you were the only one who refused to believe it wasn't perfect," he smiled, grimly, "Its only now I've seen everywhere else that I realise how much I miss it."
"What brings on this bout of melancholy?" asked Dawson, "Shouldn't I be the one reveling in the depths of sadness and regret?"
Pacey shrugged, "I don't know, man, its just, sometimes I feel I missed out. I spent so much time dreaming about getting out, I forgot to enjoy the place while I was there."
He sighed and looked out the window at the Massachusetts coastline drifting slowly by. Then he spoke again.
"You, on the other hand, reveled in it. You got your perfect childhood. You even got your soulmate."
At the mention of Joey, Dawson's expression hardened.
"Yeah, and look where it got me," he said, "I made a completely irrational decision to alter the future that I'd had mapped out throughout that perfect childhood, and now I find myself adrift on a sea of uncertainty."
"But you had it, Dawson."
They were silent for a while, then:
"Do you think I'm making the right decision?" asked Dawson.
"What? Leaving Boston?"
"Yeah."
"I really can't say. I agree that if you stick around then somewhere along the line this is bound to happen again."
"Right," Dawson nodded, "So by leaving Boston I'm decreasing the chances of getting my heart broken. Therefore, I'm making the right choice."
"Not necessarily."
"What do you mean?"
"You're also eliminating any chance you have of getting it right."
Dawson didn't respond, he just took the exit for Capeside.
-----
Joey stormed off. Her father just sat at the table with Dawson, stunned. Dawson got up to go after her, but Mr. Potter called him back.
"Dawson wait! Please. Tell me about her. Tell me about my daughter."
"What do you want to know?"
"Anything. Everything."
"She's great," he said, "I mean, she's smart, she's beautiful, she's funny. She's a big ol' scaredy cat. If you creep up from behind her she'll jump out of her skin, its, pretty amusing. She's honest. She always calls 'em just like she sees 'em. You can always count on getting the truth from Joey. Even if the truth hurts. She's stubborn. We fight a lot. She can be so frustrating sometimes. But she's a really, really good friend. I know her to a fault. She believes in me. And I'm a dreamer so its really good to have someone like that in my life. If she goes away, I don't know what I'm gonna do. I mean, she's my best friend. She's more than that. She's everything..."
-----
Joey hugged Charlie tight and rested her head on his back as his motorcycle tore up the highway.
Her mind was racing, oblivious to the landscape zipping by.
Was she really sure about this?
Could she and Dawson really make it work?
It seemed like everytime they tried they just set themselves up for a bigger fall. She just couldn't shake the uncertainty.
Was it really worth it?
-----
Mr. Potter felt tears building in his eyes as he looked at his daughter. She stood on the other side of the fence, looking so fragile, so defenseless.
"Dawson Leery," he said, "He loves you Joey. He's never told you?"
"Never," she whispered.
"Well he does. I know it."
"How?"
"Because he looks at you the same way your mother used to look at me. And you love him?"
She cast her eyes downward, unable to voice it.
"Have you told him," asked her father, "You have to tell him, Joey. Don't make my mistake. Don't wait until the one you love is eaten with cancer, and wasting away, while you hold back the one thing they're waiting to hear."