Disclaimer: I don't own FF:TSW, or any elements of "The Christmas Carol" or "It's a Wonderful Life" that may pop up within this story.
Author's Note: Okay, I know it's not Christmas. I know it's waaaaaay past Christmas. But I'm trying to finish off some of my fics, and I only have on chapter to go after this. Thank you for your patience; this semester at college just isn't very kind to me. And for all of you wondering what's going on with "Out of the Ashes," I'm working on the final chapter; it's about half done. I'll try to have it done by next week. Keep an eye on my bio for updates. This chapter ain't that great; it's the final chapter that I'm hoping comes off best, and things in here will make more sense, then.
HOLIDAY SPIRIT
Part Two
The Ghost of Christmas Present
The mess hall looked exactly as it had in her memories of that night. From the twists of red, green, and white streamers that didn't quite soften the military functionality of the hall to the sad-looking plastic tree adorned with gaudy lights – half of which weren't lit – the place had been recreated exactly. Aki was torn between the urge to cover her eyes until it was all over, and exploring the hall, reliving in her mind the events that had changed her life forever.
Actually, she didn't have to relive the moment in her mind. According to Neil, in about five minutes, she'd be able to see the whole thing.
Neil's hand on her wrist was all that kept Aki from fleeing. It wasn't that what was about to happen was a bad memory; it had led to wonderful things. But it was embarrassing for all involved.
They stood in the middle of the mess hall – an appropriate name, really, since it seemed to be the one place in the entire academy where military discipline was lax and the cadets reveled in this freedom by becoming slobs. It was encouraged by those in charge; the dirtier the mess hall, the more painful the punishment for those on kitchen patrol. If the hall had been a place of order, then Aki's life may have gone very differently.
"Look, there you are," Neil said, prodding her on the arm until she turned to face her younger self. I don't remember looking like such a dork, Aki thought, chagrined. No wonder the military cadets had been so amused by her. She'd been all skin and bones, wrinkled clothes, messed-up hair… "Aw, you were so cute," Neil crooned.
It was bad enough that he'd seen her in the shower; now he was making fun of her? That's it; she'd had it. She slammed her elbow into his ribs, and was satisfied to hear him "oomph!" in surprise. "That hurt!" he yelped, stunned. "You shouldn't have been able to do that!"
"Karma," Aki said. So much for the perks of being a ghost. "Look, if I have to do this, could you at least take it seriously?" she hissed.
Neil muttered something Aki didn't quite catch, and wasn't sure she wanted to. Then he flashed her an innocent grin. "All right then… let's get closer for a better view of this. I don't want to miss a thing." He steered her over towards a table filled with military cadets.
Her heart seemed to stop as she caught sight of one of the cadets seated at the end of the table. Sensing the change in her mood, Neil turned to her, his face serious. "Remember, he can't see or hear you." He directed her gaze towards her younger self, who had just finished filling her meal tray and was heading towards a table claimed by the scientific students.
Aki automatically stepped backwards as her younger self passed by, though Neil let her pass through him. "Three… Two…" Neil chanted in time with the younger Aki's steps. "One."
There had been a food fight earlier, and the hall still bore the marks of mashed potato artillery fire. One such congealed lump lay in the younger Aki's path. The student slipped and lost her balance, falling with a mighty thump to the floor. Her metal tray, along with eating utensils, all went flying towards the unfortunate military cadet seated at the end of his table.
The entire hall went silent as the cadet, knocked sideways by the tray impacting his temple, fell to the floor.
"Nice going, Ross!" someone jeered as the younger Aki scrambled on her hands and knees to the cadet sprawled on his back. A crowd gathered around them, so Neil pulled the reluctant older Aki through them to the front, right beside the kneeling girl.
The younger Aki was moaning, "I'm so sorry… I'm such a klutz… I'm sorry… I'm sorry…"
The cadet had a slightly dazed look, and he touched first the swelling lump on his forehead where the tray had hit, then to the bleeding spot on his jaw where the knife had nicked him in its flight. His eyes widened when he saw the blood on his fingers. "It's all right, I think… It was an accident." The younger Aki stared at him with surprise. She hadn't expected an arrogant military cadet to be nice about this. "But, if you want to make it up to me…" He winced slightly. "You can take me to the infirmary, uh…"
"Aki. My name is Aki Ross," the younger girl said quickly.
The cadet gave her a lopsided grin. "I'm Gray Edwards."
* * *
"Can we get out of here, now, before I… she… whatever, loses her grip on him and drops him to the floor?" Aki hissed.
"Hm? Oh, yeah," Neil said. The world around them began to fade to blackness, to Aki's relief. "Y'know, the captain always told us he got that scar on his jaw in a battle." Aki cringed; she'd been so mortified when she'd realized the wound had scarred…
"Shut up," she muttered. Her heart was aching. She hadn't thought reliving a memory would hurt so much. Gray had been so close… Maybe this had been the past, but he'd been warm and solid… and alive… Everything he wasn't now…
"Why did you show me this?" she asked hollowly.
"I was just doing what I was told," Neil said quietly. "I'm sorry if it hurt you."
"It made things worse, not better!" she cried. "Gray was right there, and I couldn't do anything about it! Please," she sobbed, "don't show me any more memories. Take me back. Please take me back!"
"All right," Neil said. "All your other Christmas memories with Gray are NC-17 anyway, and I can't show those here."
She didn't appreciate his attempt to lighten the mood. "Dammit!" she snarled at him. "Will you stop-"
It was then that she realized she was alone in the darkness. "Neil?" she called uncertainly, trying not to be alarmed. "Neil?"
The darkness around her changed so gradually she almost wasn't aware of it until the Black Boa's walls solidified around her. She was back… but wait, no, it wasn't quite right. She was standing near the doorway, looking in on Gray's body slowly warming from exposure – and her own body slumped over hers. Great… did something go wrong? Aki walked over to the unmoving forms, noticing that her footsteps made no sound on the metal floor. Her hand hovered over the other Aki's shoulder, but she hesitated at actual physical contact. What if the other her woke up and saw her? And if that happened, then what would it mean? Quickly, Aki yanked her hand back.
"Eerie, huh?'
Aki yelped and whirled around, nearly hitting the man who'd stood so close behind her the were nearly touching. Her spin brought her face-to-chest with the speaker and she had to take a step back to see his face. Ryan… Good; I didn't know him long, but he seemed like a nice guy. I don't think I could deal with Neil again.
"You're the third dead man I've seen tonight," Aki said. "I'm beyond calling anything eerie."
"Already?" Ryan feigned disappointment. "most people don't even accept this even after it's all over."
"Growing up in a world overrun by alien ghosts tends to make on more accepting of the supernatural," Aki said dryly. "Besides, I'm still not convinced this isn't just something my mind conjured up to further torture me."
"Well," Ryan said cheerfully, "if it is, thanks for not dreaming me up with a gaping hole in my gut."
At his words, Aki's eyes strayed to where a metal strut had impaled the sergeant last time she'd seen him alive. Her mouth felt suddenly dry; this was another life she hadn't been able to save. "Uh…"
Ryan quickly changed the subject. "Anyway, I am the Ghost of Christmas Present. I'm here to show you how the world has been affected by you."
Aki wanted to refuse, but, really, she couldn't find any excuse to. This couldn't be as painful as reliving memories, right?
"Let's go," Ryan said, offering his hand. She took it, and the world seemed to spin around in a blur of color before reforming around her. Aki thought she was going to be sick. She squeezed her eyes shut, willing her last meal to stay down. Could ghosts – or whatever she was – throw up?
She was reluctant to open her eyes once she was sure she'd be all right. She just knew that Ryan had brought her to some big party where everyone was happy, enjoying Christmas without fear for the first time, all thanks to her. She really didn't want to see it; she'd seen too much like it already.
But when she realized all she heard was silence, Aki slowly opened her eyes. She was in… she took a moment to orient herself. She was in Mrs. Edwards' house. "Huh?" she asked, baffled.
"I could show you wild parties," Ryan said from behind her. "I could show you a thousand such parties all across the world, and millions of people, all reveling in what you gave them. But that would only drive home how lonely you are, wouldn't it? Nothing makes someone more depressed than seeing others enjoy what they can't have."
This bit of wisdom made Aki look at the soldier with new respect. Ryan had tended to blend into the background whenever the entire squad was together, revealing little of his personality. "So what are you going to show me, then? What's here?"
Ryan began to walk away, and beckoned for her to follow. He led her to the small kitchen, where Dr. Sid and Mrs. Edwards were talking quietly over cups of tea. From where she stood, she couldn't hear what they were saying, but that didn't seem to be important. "Look at them," Ryan said. "Mrs. Edwards lost her last child. Dr. Sid's life work is complete. But neither of them is going to give up on life. They're going to go on for as long as they can."
Before Aki could reply to that, the world blurred again, and she groaned. When everything cleared, she was standing in a spacious room, seats filled by a mixture of military and civilians. The Houston Council chamber? "The Council is meeting tonight?"
"They're in a state of emergency right now; the holidays don't matter. No one knows what to do now that the Phantoms are gone. Everyone has their own ideas, and are unwilling to listen to anyone else." He paused as an argument broke out between one of the evacuated New York Council members and a Houston member. "Someone might be able to unify them," he said finally. Someone they trust, he didn't say, but Aki knew he was thinking it. Someone who saved the world.
Now they're trying to make me feel guilty! She gritted her teeth. Dammit, why wouldn't they respect her wishes? She didn't want any more responsibility. Hadn't she done enough? She just wanted to be with Gray!
Aki tried not to let her anger show. Ryan searched her face for any reaction, but seemed to find nothing. He touched her hand, and again the world spun. She seemed to be getting used to it; this time, she didn't feel quite so nauseous.
This time, she thought at first Ryan had decided to take her to a party, despite what he'd told her earlier. The atmosphere was suggestive of a party, but there was a subdued undertone. They were in a mess hall, much like the one where she'd been with Neil, only this one was filled with seasoned soldiers. And, instead of Christmas streamers, there were banners hung around the walls. Aki examined one, and her brow furrowed with puzzlement. "Farewell banners?"
"Do you realize that nearly half the world's population belongs to the military?" Ryan asked. "In a time of war, that's a good thing, but with the Phantoms gone, there's no need for so many soldiers. Hadn't you heard that the USMF is ending the tours of duty of many of its units? Before the Phantoms, enlistments were often for a certain time period, coming to an end when that time was up unless the soldier reenlisted. The Powers That Be decided to restore that, and now many trained soldiers are left without a way of life. On Christmas Eve, these soldiers found out they were out of a job."
"I… I hadn't heard," Aki admitted. But I don't see what this had to do with me! What can I do, form my own personal army so these people have something to do? "I've been out of touch with the Council since after Sid told them the Phantoms were gone."
"Soldiers that suddenly become civilians have trouble fitting into society. Many of them will end up in prison." Ryan touched her arm, and transported them back to the Black Boa.
Aki whirled to face him. "I don't understand what you're trying to tell me!" she screamed. "Just leave me – " She stopped, scowling. "Damn you, why do you people keep disappearing on me when I'm yelling at you?"
To Be Continued…