Chapter Thirteen

TJ & Spinelli Talk

"Hey Spin," TJ greeted quietly as he entered the library during lunch time. He waited for Spinelli to look up at him, but then realized that if she did even move her head up, she wouldn't be able to see him anyways, so why bother?

"Hey Teej," Spinelli greeted him, "Thanks for meeting me in here, I didn't want to have to put up with anymore crap from the Ashley's."

"Didn't you know?" TJ asked, "Ashley A. had to go home because her nose was broken and Ashley T. got suspended for a week, but I don't think she'd make fun of you anyways."

"Yah, I definitely did not expect that from Ashley T.," Spinelli admitted, "But speaking of fighting, I heard you and Lawson got in one."

"It wasn't really a fight," TJ defended himself, "Vince stopped me before I could cause any real damage to the idiot."

"Wait," Spinelli said, "Vince stopped you?"

"Yup," TJ said, "He's coming back from the dark side now. He also dumped Ashley A."

"Good," Spinelli muttered, "She's a bitch. He can do a lot better than her."

"Are you mad about what she said?" TJ asked soothingly.

"A little bit," Spinelli admitted, "But mainly I'm so mad because some of what she said was true."

"What do you mean?" TJ asked.

"I knew most of the stuff was already true, I knew I couldn't beat people up and all that now," Spinelli said, "But then she told me that I was never going to find anybody. And she was right. I mean, how many guys want to go out with a girl who can't go to the movies or anything? One they have to guide around everywhere and one that can't even look at them. I don't think their are any out there at all Teej. And if their are I don't think I'll be able to find them."

"Spinelli, there are plenty of guys that look past the looks of a girl, and what she can and can't do," TJ defended his gender, "I'm sure there are plenty of guys out there that wouldn't mind reading you the menu so you can pick something, or find something to do with you that doesn't require your sight."

"But Teej, that's exactly it," Spinelli said, "Every thing I do requires my sight. I won't be able to watch movies anymore. We won't even be able to go bowling anymore Teej."

"Spin, I don't care about going bowling, all I want to do is spend time with you," TJ said, concerned about his friend, "And you will find a guy that feels the same as I do, one that you can fall in love with."

"But where am I gonna find a guy like that who will also feel romantically about me?" Spinelli asked, desperately reaching for answers.

"Spinelli, I already know one guy who's in love with you, and he doesn't care whether your blind or not," TJ stated, sounding rather sure of himself.

"Oh really?" Spinelli asked, "Like who?"

"I can't tell you that, it's an issue of privacy for the guy," TJ answered. He wanted so much to tell Spinelli how he felt at that moment, but he knew that Spinelli didn't feel the same way. Of course, she did love him, but only as a best friend. He needed to stick by her in any way he could. And if that required remaining her best friend and keeping his feelings to himself, he could do that as long as Spinelli needed him.

Spinelli wished she could look at TJ's face at the moment. The worst part of being blind was not being able to see TJ's face. Not being able to see all of his emotions. She thought she knew which guy he was talking about, and if it was TJ himself, she wanted him to say it. She didn't know when she had started feeling differently again about TJ. She thought it might have something to do with that Friday night right after she had been dumped by Lawson. All of a sudden she couldn't stop thinking about TJ.

At first Spinelli thought it was all just because she had just been dumped and needed someone to take care of her. But, she had spent a lot of time thinking while she was in the hospital and thought about how every time she had a problem she turned to TJ. Every time something bad happened in her life, TJ was always there for her. And after four days of thinking it over, Spinelli had realized she had never really stopped loving TJ. She had tried to tell herself to stop loving him, but she had never truly stopped loving him. TJ was her soul mate.

But she knew TJ wouldn't tell her how he felt. He figured she needed a friend right now. He would be willing to be her friend for the rest of his life. TJ didn't like to take chances with losing the one's he truly loved. So, Spinelli knew she would have to take action.

"TJ, give me your hand," Spinelli commanded. She could only imagine the surprised look that must of crossed TJ's face at the moment, but she could feel his hand slowly touch hers. She enveloped his one hand with both of hers.

"Teej, you have been my best friend since the first day of kindergarten," Spinelli started, "You have always been there for me, and I know you will always be there for me. Now, I know you think of me as more than a friend. I didn't want to admit it to myself that you did, because then I knew I would also have to admit to myself that I considered you as more than a friend. I know back in the fourth grade I had a crush on you, but it slowly went away, over time. Yet, as I spent these last few days in the hospital I realized that I was in love with you, I just decided to bury it under all these other feelings. So, maybe, I wouldn't have to face this. But, TJ, I do love you."

She then took one of her hands and tried to find his face, he quickly took his other hand and grabbed her hand and leaned forward and gave her a kiss, but after a minute he pulled back.

"What about Lawson?" TJ asked, "He just dumped you. I don't want to be the rebound. Especially not with you. And especially not to Lawson."

"Teej," Spinelli said, her eyes watering, "However I felt about Lawson has since evaporated, I don't even feel angry at him anymore. I feel sorry for him, he will be the one to go away with all the pain from this. He's going to jail."

"So, I'm not the rebound," TJ said, sounding relieved, "And you really do love me?"

"Only if you love me too," Spinelli said, for the first time sounding a little nervous. Maybe TJ didn't really return her feelings. And her and her friends had just been imagining it all along.

"Spinelli, I love you more than anything," TJ answered, "When I first heard you were in a wreck, I thought I was going to lose you. And I knew I wouldn't be able to survive without you, it was at that point in time that I realized just how much I loved you. I was planning on telling you how I felt, but then I realized that maybe you just needed your friends. And I wanted to do whatever was best for you."

"This is best for me," Spinelli said, as she leaned in for another kiss. The two almost kissed, but then the bell rang, signaling lunch time was over, and to TJ and Spinelli that they're time together was just beginning.