Author's Note: Sorry it took me a few days to get this chapter up. But this is my last chapter for this story. And I didn't really want to post it. I didn't want it to end. I do have an idea for another Recess fic, but I'm not quite sure when I will start writing it. Hope you all enjoy. Oh and Spinelli Wood Esquires I got the horizontal line on mine because on the Quick Preview thing it has the horizontal line button and you press it and it inserts one.
Chapter Nineteen
An End, Spinelli's Speech, & A True Gift
"Good luck Spin," Ashley T said, giving her new friend a hug. She then stepped back by Mikey. Mikey put his arm back around her. Vince and Gretchen were beside Mikey and Ashley, holding hands and Gus and Mandy had their arms around the other's waist.
"We all really wish we could go with you," Gretchen said, also giving her friend a hug, "But, the school wouldn't let us off, so Teej is going to be your escort."
Spinelli turned to TJ and gave him a smile, which he returned, even though he knew she couldn't see it. She then turned to all of her other friends and gave them smiles before stepping into TJ's car. When she knew TJ was in the car she said, "Thank you for coming with me. This is going to be hard. I'm very nervous."
"I know," TJ said, taking her hand as he began to drive, "But, I'm here with you, and the others are here for you too."
TJ was sitting back stage with Spinelli as she prepared to make her first speech to the high school students. She looked extremely nervous as Hustler Kid entered the room they were sitting in. He took one look at Spinelli and smiled faintly.
"It's ok Spinelli," Hustler Kid assured her, "Relax."
"What happens if they hate me?" Spinelli asked, in a very un-Spinelli like manner, "Boo me off stage?"
Just then TJ's cell phone rang. He quickly answered it, "Hello?"
"Hey Teej," Vince's voice came over the phone, "We need to talk."
TJ looked over at where Hustler Kid was trying to calm down Spinelli. Hustler Kid gave him a quick smile, as if to say, don't worry about it. I'll calm her down. So, TJ walked into the hallway and leaned against the wall, "What's up Vince?"
"Um, TJ," Vince started uncomfortably, this was going to be hard to say, "We just got a call from our old school. They told us, well, they told us Lawson's dead."
"WHAT?" TJ practically shouted, not from anger, just from surprise, "What are you talking about?"
"He committed suicide Teej," Vince said, sounding as if he was about to cry, "I mean, I wasn't even friends with the guy. He said in his note he was sorry. Things had gotten too hard for him. He'd screwed up royally. God, he didn't even realize how much people cared for him. The guys and I decided to call and tell you so you can tell Spinelli face to face. Tell her we're sorry. We're here for her."
"Yah," TJ said, sounding dazed, "I will, just, ok, um, I better get going, Spin's about to go on."
"Bye Teej," Vince said before both of them hung up. He couldn't believe this. Lawson was dead. Gone. He committed suicide. Sure, like Vince said, he wasn't even friends with the guy. In fact, he despised the guy. But he knew that Spinelli had loved. Probably still, in a way, did love him. And TJ had known him since grade school. He always seemed, well, so Lawson-like it didn't seem possible.
And he had to find a way to tell Spinelli. He couldn't help but feel a little resentment for the rest of the gang for laying this duty on him, but he knew they were right in their choosing. He would comfort her, besides he was here with her, right now. TJ just didn't know how to tell her. Then he decided that he was going to tell her after her speech.
She was already nervous. If he told her this before her speech she probably wouldn't go out there at all. So, he was going to tell her after she was done. Just then Spinelli walked out of the room, followed by Hustler Kid. TJ quickly hugged her before she went out on stage. Hustler Kid stood out in the hallway with TJ, both waiting for Spinelli's speech to start.
"So, what's going on?" Hustler Kid asked TJ softly.
"What do you mean?" TJ asked him nervously.
"Exactly what I asked," Hustler Kid answered, "Spinelli might not be able to see your face, but even Spinelli didn't look as nervous as you do whenever she was worried about this speech."
"Lawson died," TJ bluntly said, deciding not to argue the point.
"What?" Hustler Kid said, this clearly not being what he expected.
"He committed suicide," TJ elaborated, "Vince called to tell me, told me I had to tell Spinelli. I don't know how she's going to react. She was in love with him."
"Lawson committed suicide," Hustler Kid repeated to himself, remembering the guy he had also known since grade school, "Man, I didn't think Lawson would ever do that. I thought he was too strong for that."
"I guess he wasn't strong enough," TJ muttered quietly.
"Poor Spin," Hustler Kid said, "Wait, her speech is starting."
Spinelli wished she could look out at the audience as she made her way to the podium. Of course, she was already extremely nervous, being able to see the hundreds of students gathered might make her even more nervous. She could hear the students in their seats, moving around, so, she quickly took a deep breath and began, her voice at first being filled with the nervous energy she had, "Hi. Well, um, I can't actually say its good to see all of you guys at school today, but its only because I really can't see you at all."
Spinelli paused for a moment, remembering about how bored her and her friends had always been at guest speakers preaching to them in their auditorium, so she vowed to make this as short and sweet as possible, "Anyways, I'm Spinelli. And I'm actually a double victim of drunk driving accidents. First, my brother died in a car accident involving a drunk driver two years ago. At that time I promised myself that I would never have anything to do with drunk drivers. I despised all of them. I also despised the people that drove with drunk drivers. Sober people who let the drunk drivers drive home."
"Well, I started dating this guy named Lawson and we went to this party. I commanded him not to drink. I told him I'd beat him up if he did. Well, let's just say he's not a very good listener. He ended up getting himself drunk. So, I tried to take his keys away from him. Argue with him, tell him not to drive me home and definitely not to drive himself home. But, he just wouldn't listen. I got in the car with him. I was going against everything that I was for. I was doing everything I was against. As I got in the car I became somebody I didn't know. I had just destroyed who I was. I told myself that I would rather be riding with the danger than on the sidewalk where this danger was driving. Well, as you can guess, we crashed. Lawson decided to play chicken with this car. I tried to stop him, but he wasn't really listening. Both cars went flying. I then blacked out."
"When I woke up, I opened my eyes. I didn't see anything. Nothing. The doctor's explained to me what had happened, but I didn't really get it until they told me I was blind. I had lost my eye sight. I couldn't believe it. Then, to make matters worse, my best friend, she came into the room, she told me that my boyfriend was okay, but the other two people in the other car. They didn't make it. One of them was a senior at my school. A senior that really was much admired by all. The other was his girlfriend. Really a very sweet girl. Lawson came into my hospital room. And he didn't come to tell me it was okay."
"Lawson broke up with me," Spinelli said, her voice starting to catch, as if she was about to cry, "I don't think I really could have got through this time without my friends, all of them. And especially not without the guy that I know now I was meant to be with, TJ. Lawson, he's all alone now. He's facing court dates for lots of crimes. He has charges pressed against him."
Spinelli then stopped talking for a second, tears streaming down her face before she continued, "Please, just please, listen to me on this. Don't drink and drive. Don't let your friends drink and drive. Don't get in a car with your friend who has been drinking. But, most importantly, we're only high schoolers, don't drink at all. It can cost you so much that you never even think of. I am just so lucky that it only cost me my eyesight. Please be careful."
TJ watched as everybody in the auditorium stood up to clap for Spinelli's speech. Spinelli then walked off the stage. Through her tears TJ could see a faint smile on her lips. Her first speech had been a success. Hustler Kid gave her a quick hug, threw TJ a good luck look, and walked on stage to make his speech. Spinelli continued to the room she had been in earlier to get her stuff.
TJ glanced after her for a moment before hastily following her. He walked into the room and cleared his throat, it was now or never, "Spinelli, there's something I have to tell you."
"It's Lawson, isn't it?" Spinelli asked, in a small voice as she turned to the sound of TJ's voice, "He committed suicide."
"How did you know?" TJ asked, gently, coming up to his girlfriend and putting both arms around her, as if to protect her.
"He came to visit me at the hospital on Saturday," Spinelli said quietly, silent tears still streaming down her face, this time a little harder than before, "He asked me for forgiveness. Said he didn't really need the acceptance of his apology, but that he did want to apologize. I could sense that he really did the acceptance. So, I accepted his apology. He had also apologized to King Bob and his girlfriend's families. But they couldn't forgive him. I thought maybe, maybe my acceptance was enough to save him. Save him from himself."
Spinelli then dissolved into tears, burying her head into TJ's chest. TJ wrapped his arms around Spinelli tighter, holding her, then he whispered, "It wasn't your fault he died Spin. He did it of his own accord."
"I know," Spinelli sniffled, her voice muffled, "But I thought, I just thought maybe if I had been more insistent in his not drinking. Or if I had tried harder to get his car keys. Or even if I had not ridden home with me. Maybe he would still be here. Maybe King Bob would still be here. His girlfriend too."
"Spinelli!" TJ said, softly, "No, don't even think that. This has nothing to do with what you did wrong. Lawson made a lot of bad decisions. This was his final one. That's it."
"But Teej," Spinelli said, leaning her head back to where she would be able to see his face, if she could see, for now she just had to picture it, "What am I supposed to do? He was the first guy I ever really, truly fell for and dated."
TJ knew that Spinelli needed him, but talking about Lawson being the first one she truly fell for was like a dagger in his heart. He firmly decided that right now Spinelli needed him not only as a boyfriend at this moment, but as the friend he had always been to her.
"I know," TJ comforted, kissing the top of her head lightly, "But, I love you. You know that, right?"
"I know," she admitted, a trace of a smile coming to her lips, "I love you too. Lawson, he, well, I feel bad. He screwed up his life. But I don't have to pay for it by screwing up my own."
"I'm glad you figured that one out," TJ said quietly. Kissing her softly on the lips as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Soon, they were going for a more passionate kiss before a cough from behind them stopped them. TJ turned to see Hustler Kid looking at them, a bit embarrassed.
"Um, its time to go you two," Hustler Kid announced.
"Hey Spinelli," a voice said behind her. Spinelli turned to see Lawson standing behind her.
"Lawson?" she asked, surprised, "You're dead."
"I know," he admitted, "But I came back, back to do this."
Lawson quickly kissed her on each eyelid, then looked at her, "Thank you Spinelli. I hand you a final gift."
With that he was gone. Spinelli looked around, then said, "What is going on? Hello? Anybody?"
Just then Spinelli's alarm went off to start the day. She opened her eyes and looked at her clock, which read 7:00 am. Spinelli was halfway out of bed before it registered. She had looked at the clock. She had seen the clock. She quickly looked around the room, drinking in everything. Her TV, her computer, her telephone, her bed spread, her books, her picture of TJ on her desk, her picture of all her friends on her dresser, even her desk and dresser. She then flew out of bed and started down the stairs.
"Mom!" she shouted, running into the kitchen, looking around. This was going to be a beautiful day.
"We have a decision to make," TJ announced to his group of friends later that day as they sat in an empty classroom. He and his friends had been so excited about Spinelli's eyesight returning, but Spinelli had informed him that this in way or shape effected how she felt about him, except now that she could see his face, she might love him more than before, "Now that Spin has her eyesight back, we can return to the other school if we would like. All together."
"I like this school," Spinelli said quietly, looking around at each one of her friends, seeing them in a new light, absorbing their features, "It is really nice."
"I don't want to leave Mandy," Gus fervently said.
Before anybody else could speak they already knew the answer. This school was a new air. It was friendly. No more Ashley's. Of course, this school had their clique like the Ashley's, but TJ's gang knew. They knew they belonged in this school. With each other. Right here.
The rest of the group trickled out until Spinelli and TJ were the only two left in the classroom, TJ turned to Spinelli, and said, "You're really beautiful Spinelli."
"And you're really handsome," Spinelli said, with a very un-Spinelli like giggle.
"You do know that I was going to love you forever, right?" TJ asked, hugging her to him, "Even if you were to remain blind."
"I know," Spinelli breathed, looking up at his face, "And I'll always love you too. I can't imagine it being any different."
TJ and Spinelli walked out the door, hands clasped together. Spinelli felt that this was the happiest moment in her life. Yet, at the same time, it was the saddest. She was closing the door on Lawson forever. Her last memory of him she would keep to herself, even from TJ. The dream would remain her secret. She felt as if the dream itself, Lawson himself, had given her eyesight back. It was a gift. A true gift.
Author's Note: I hope you guys all enjoyed my story. I would like to thank all my reviewers, especially Spinelli Woods Esquire, lil vicki ryan, Yankee Doodle Blonde, and fanjimmy for reviewing all my chapters and sticking with my story even when it took me forever to update! Stay tuned for my next story.