Spinning Slash

by Freezair

I need a good desc. for my weird little slightly-AU-not-actually-slash-standard-Linkspawn-Ganonback-fic, but summing it up is hard. I'll go with this: Vertically challenged five-year-old seeks the secrets of her family's sword technicque. There. Done.

9. That Ain't Good

(Chapterly Author's Note: Originally Spinning Slash was going to involve two main sub-plots-Naomi following Link through thick and thin in a fruitless attempt to reclaim her daughter and go with her back to Randy, and exactly what happened to Ruto after she realized Link wasn't going to be coming back to her. Originally number two of those was going to start in Chapter 3, but I couldn't find room for it. I also realized Slash had little plot and the *coughcoughlotsofhackingcough* in the final chapter would be totally dues ex machine, sort of, but in a randomly reversed sense. So I minimized the second sub-plot to a random pitfall met by the crew and added in the Twinrova stuff, which not only helped give the story more depth but also explained why, in the last Chapter-*has a sudden heart attack and faints dead away*)

(Don't you just HATE the way I tease you? But if you haven't figured out what Twinrova are doing, then seriously... an urn... what do you keep in those? And considering what they are, what might they do with contents of said urn?)

Spinning Slash, Chapter 9: That Ain't Good...

Hot! Hot! Hot! Sand in boots! Cruel agony! Torture! The fine grains populating this vast wasteland had not lost their blazing tendencies even as the shimmering sun had gone to sleep far beyond the mountains.

No. Must keep running. After all, it was better than fifteen inches of steel through the gut.

"Link!" huffed Naomi as a cloud of dust erupted behind her wildly flailing feet. "D'you think we can STOP now?! I'm sure we've left those goons a mile behind us!"

"No!" he snappishly replied and clutched Posie even tighter to his chest. "You yourself said lightning couldn't be as fast as a Gerudo if..."

"Never MIND what I said! I... can't... keep this up... for much longer..."

"Set me down, then!" whined Elaine, attempting to kick her way out of Naomi's arms. "I can run! I have feet! I-argggg!" There was a hefty peril to talking while trying to run through the Haunted Wasteland. It was easy to get a mouthful of sand.

"Not fast enough, chikkura Kimiria. We're probably farther ahead of them than Link thinks, but they can and will catch up pretty quickly if we stop."

Posie squirmed as if she'd like to add something substantial to the conversation, but, having seen already what would happen if she opened her mouth, she was silent.

So far, Link could surmise, this entire trip had just been one big misadventure after another. The incident with the potion shop, the foul-smelling Goron City and the girls accidentally setting off a bomb flower, the rock slides and Lizafos in the volcano, and now this. And to think it'd barely been a single day yet! This was going to make one heck of a story when he got back. A story no one but his friends would know about, thanks to the King and Zelda signing a little confidentiality agreement. No one would notice much, either, that he was missing, they'd just think he was off on some silly errand.(Like the rather botched "Pizza Boy" incident... it made him shudder just to think about it.) Let's just hope, now, that he wasn't mauled by an unruly mob of half-drunk Gerudos somewhere out in the middle of the desert.

It was quite an amazement, actually, that they'd managed to make it this far. And in the lead, no less! Getting out alone had taken no less than fifteen minutes of hack-and-slash that had seen numerous women with third-degree burns and frostbite(courtesy of Naomi), large, bleeding gashes(Link's handiwork), several smaller puncture wounds already starting to look gangrenous(Elaine's little rusty dagger was more powerful than its size would admit), and the majority of the bunch with damaged ankles(thanks to Posie). She had managed to hew her way through and under the forest of legs before the others did, and made a sprint through the blood-scented night while the others tried to cut past their adversaries and follow.

The instant Link and Naomi caught up to her, Link grabbed her by the back of her collar and was eating sand with his toes at twice the rate she had been. Naomi could go three times him. And that was carrying a forty-three pound five-year-old in front of her, no less. Of course, all of Link's equipment probably mounted to something double Elaine's weight, so he was probably doing good time considering. How long had they been plowing these damnable sandstorms? Unseen holocausts raged the muscles in Link's legs. A constant mallet rained blows on his flesh as if it was an anvil the battering ram were tempering steel upon.

Why was that Gerudo complaining? She was ahead. Too far ahead. Darkness met a cascade of earth to make territory a yard ahead invisible. She might know what she was doing up there, but if he lost sight of her, doomed was too good a word to describe him. The septic, green, and whorling leeches called Leevers sunk their cookie cutter of teeth into any flesh they could find; be it carrion, freshly dead, or still living. Thank the Goddesses for the thieves' binge, they were still under the depressant alcohol's effects.

Hopefully they were nearing the small, safe shelter built here by the first of Naomi's people. Link had come across it during his original surf over the desert by happy accident while searching for a decrepit spirit who, he had been told, would lead him to the Desert Goddess. A tall stone dais rose out of the middle of nowhere, sheltering a small ladder he'd climbed down. A pleasantly cool chamber, safe from storm and beast, waited down there, and he'd marked its location in his mind for further reference. Perhaps the way his red-headed friend took was a different cut than his own. But if he could look at her internal maps and found the parallels of his own in them, maybe she knew of this spot too. Most likely a former Undertaker had put it there. That might explain why it had held a repertoire of dusty, but still effective, healing elixirs. (And a pat on the back to Link for remembering it. The sly fox, he'd managed to work it into one of those 'games,' but had edited the contents a little.)

He tried to shout ahead to check his theory. "Naomi! Do you know if we're near the underground sanctuary yet?" Hopefully his terms made sense and she understood what he was talking about.

A breath of fresh air. She did! "Just keep running! The way we're going, we'll trip right over it!"

"Do the other Gerudos know it's there?"

"I don't think so; none of them come out here if they can help it!"

"And if they do know?"

"Be glad that I've quit my job, 'cuz we are gonna whoop their collective-"

She said something that made Elaine go, "Mom!"

Her optimism was a reassuring shot in the arm. It gave his feet the strength to till up more of the dunes and dig forward.

A dark, cylindrical blob was starting to sift through the powdery brown curtain veiling the vast expanse of wilderness. A few more steps, and the rough textures of the bricks that built the dais were slowly dappling into view. Its flat plateau was beginning to separate from its somewhat octagonal sides and it took on the appearance of a solid, gray table. A rough nick of granite constricted its base and slithered up to the top, serving as a vantage point for those trying to eke out the guardian Poe, with his purple rags, flamboyant gray hair, and cinder-black face. The door stabilized in front of the descending ladder was just barely a niche cleaved into the back of the stone, but a pair of sharp eyes could scout its presence easily should they be looking for it. The duo of the foursome on legs skirted the drab girth and pressed right into the still burning rock to help them find the gouge.

"Hee hee hee! Bringing the victims a little hastily today, aren't we, Nukira? Ah well, they'll be dead fast enough! Har heh!"

"Get a death, you! And bug off!" clamped Naomi as the twiggy spirit jingled his lantern in her face. "Oh yeah? And if you so much as hint to those others where we're hiding, you're gonna suffer a second demise, you got that, buddy?"

"Ooh, touchy, huh? Fine, I'll not tell them anything. But seriously, you're such a party-pooper! Someday I'll come to haunt you..."

Naomi chose not to mince any more words with the gusty poltergeist. Her shoulder splintered the fragile barrier stopping them from proceeding in, then leapt, perfectly as a cat, the ten or so feet to the gritty floor. Link shrugged. He'd probably fall on his face trying that trick. He and Posie opted for the ladder. It was not nearly as swift a business. But it was safer.

Link exhaled deeply when his feet touched the first well- packed dirt he'd encountered for what seemed like a million millennia. His legs, glossed with sweat and torn to their outer limits by an incessant marathon, crumpled like paper beneath him. Arrows howled at him from his thighs. Finally the shield had been established. They had their rest. At last.

"Oh, wow," panted Posie, exhausted despite the fact she had stopped running a long time ago. Her cheeks were polished red by the nearly suffocating barrage outside. "That's not an experience I'm going to quickly forget. How far ahead are we?"

"I'd say far enough," groaned the winded Naomi. "We'll wait until they pass overhead, then we sneak out to the Spirit Temple. I think that river you were looking for starts over there. So where we gonna go after that?"

"What 'we?'" Link asked cynically. "Aren't you through with us once we all get out of here?"

"You're kidding me, right? As long as that kid's with you-"- she pointed at Elaine, whom she'd sat down on the pebbly ground-"-I ain't goin' nowhere. Unless you'd feel like surrendering her to me so I can get back home..."

"Now it's my turn to ask you how. You gonna waltz back through the fortress or something?"

"No, I'm going to follow the river."

"To where? You could cross it, but that way'd only get you to Mount Ipanajou. That's where we're headed. You wouldn't wanna go there, Naomi. You'd probably freeze to death a mile before snow line!"

"No, I'd go to Lake Hylia. What are you, crazy? Duh!"

"And commit Gerudo suicide! Your hide will be a rug on the floor of King Zora's bedchamber! Guests will wipe their feet on your back! Having a Hylean with you won't give you immunity."

"I'll stay away from their portal." She scoffed. "Just because I didn't grow up around a whole lot of water doesn't mean I don't know how to swim. Easy peasy."

Elaine turned slightly caustic. "Yes, but that doesn't mean I know how. OK. You want honest truth? I can't swim."

Naomi whipped her head around, her hair becoming a deadly blade. "Whose side are you on, kid?"

"The side of common sense." She picked up a shimmering mica rock from the ground and began to peer at it from various angles.

"Yeah, this coming from the girl who suggested we go traipsing through a very dangerous structure teaming with the dregs of society!"

"Guys!" Posie stamped a foot; even if it didn't make much noise it in the least got everyone's attention. "Quit arguing! We-are-not-getting- anywhere! Somebody go up and take a look! See where those creeps are right now. If they're far enough gone then let's all get out of here!"

"Amen to that, Posie." Link snapped his fingers with that and at the same time wordlessly volunteered. Clambering up the frail wooden steps was not quite as easy as going down, with gravity urging him on, but he could manage... About halfway up he finally had a clear if not wedged view of the plains above. His large, alert eyes probed the landscape for any signs of life. It looked like the Gerudos had already been by, but it was hard to tell as the wind stole all their footprints the second they were left behind in the sand. There was no telltale noise pinpointing them as ahead or behind. He whispered out into the engulfing eternity for the Poe-"Hello?"

"Hoy," sighed the Poe. He faded into vision before Link's very eyes, with a twist and a twirl of his lamp. "They're all gone, if that's what you were wondering. Told them I hadn't seen you. Went the other direction; probably figured the monsters would get at you sooner or later." Thank goodness he seemed much sedated.

Link glanced over the arch of his shoulder, hanging back from the ladder. "Hey, all! It's safe now! Let's shove off. And at a walking pace this time!"

Naomi cackled. "Alright. Heave yourself up first, since you're already near topside. Go on! We'll follow."

He gave an affirmative nod. Hands shuffled, feet jogged, and Link heaved his stomach over the rim of the cavern into the scathing night desert beyond. He started to say something; about thanking the Goddesses that whole fiasco was officially over. Something cut short his sentence. Unperturbed and assuming it was simply a couple fistfuls of wind-borne sand, she shrugged and beckoned Posie and Elaine to follow. She shut her eyes briefly(the girls mimicked) until emerging outside. So she didn't see what had really gagged Link until, as the old cliche goes, it was too late.

The haunting yelp of the mischievous(and at times almost brutal with his joking) guardian Poe infuriated their ears. "Hee hee hee! April Fools'! And it isn't even April!"

Naomi said something else, this time far worse than before, that made Elaine go, "Mom!"

"Here we go agaiiiiin!" trailed off her voice as she began to make a dive at her daughter and make another break for it. This time there was no head start affront over her sisters. They were right there and wide awake, some focused into a teaming cluster from which steel rang loud as thunder, and the rest all carrying fanged sneers directed at her. This was a smaller group than that which had originally blundered after just the four of them, but she could see they were all slender and thick as whipcords and their eyes dazzled more with fury than they smoked under liquor. This here was a trained pack of guards. That lousy ghost was in for a royal thrashing if she managed to get away with her life...

A scimitar cleaved the air. It had flown from the frenzied knot behind those who only now drew their swords for their traitor's throat. A Gerudo made a bronchitic noise as she watched her treasured weapon split the wind, and her averted attitude gave her no room to respond to the thrust that marred her torso. She fell, embracing her hips as a spurting torrent of red painted the soil. All of her sisters took significant steps back.

Link blossomed from the center as gaps exploded between his enemies. He was roughly unharmed, except for the fact that his tunic was now twice as rumpled as it usually was. "I thought I'd taught you all your lesson."

Funny, Naomi couldn't remember Link ever coming to the camp. It would have been the talk of the town if he had. Something just bordering on a faint memory spurred in her mind, of a prisoner escaping from his cell block and rending the entire Gerudo metropolis in half... but it was rimmed in the haze and psychedelic swirls of a dream.

The bleeding woman crumbling into the sand docked her rage and drew back the leather thong tensing it. "You-little-jerk," came her words bathed in agony and vehemence. "You ought to know. When you-"-she said something that shouldn't be reprinted here-"-with a Gerudo, you-"-she said it again-"-with them all."

Why where they standing around? Link had already dug himself his grave, she and the kids should have just taken off at that moment. They weren't going to get very far, but better a slim chance than none. The proverbial snowman wouldn't do very well back home, either.

Another Gerudo lost her weapon to a Master Sword parry. Fighting would have been Naomi's personal last choice, as they were far outnumbered and she'd seen enough wanton violence for the night, but evil would buck and stomp where it would have so, and it was the job of the good guys to sedate it. The good guys. Who did she fight for now? Was it really the side of truth and justice? Hadn't she lived the best years of he life plundering the pockets of wealthy merchants?

No. Her best were spent with Randy. Who had worked for the Royal Family at the time-and he had come to their abode in all legitimacy. And like it or not, by deciding to follow Elaine to the ends of the earth to make up for lost years-she'd indirectly welded herself into partnership with Link, the biggest goody-goody there'd ever been. So she guessed, only half by choice, she was working for the big boys at the castle now.

She drew her blades and began to recklessly plough into the barrage of her former kinfolk.

Steel gnawed flesh. One of the guards whined. Ooh, that felt good! Years of a pent-up desire for vengeance broke free now. She razed past two who linked arms. She wasn't sure if she'd merely broken apart their bond, broken their bones, or chopped off the offending limbs completely, but it was safe to say she'd gone a little mad. She laughed in cold insanity to see her sisters finally repaid for their atrocities.

"Arrg!" cried one of the slowly rounding team. "No part of us is safe!"

Posie had gone back to being the irritating and underfoot ankle recon. She was also setting her sights a little higher this time around- mainly, higher as in the backs of the Gerudos' legs. One slid to her knees and could not get up again without aggravating her thighs. This was a good momentary distraction while those in the immediate area gasped and tried to lug her safely away from the battle. Naomi was feeling particularly vindictive... but not so much as to abandon honor and attack those trying to save their friend. She mauled after those who still stood, making sure that they wouldn't have a scintilla of hope between Link, Posie... now Elaine... and her.

The leader Gerudo sounded retreat.

Amazing. Only a truly desperate leader of their kind would ever pull out. Unlike most cavalries, they weren't ones for believing that the draw-back could be the better of valor. The only way you'd ever cull that from one of the Desert Thieves was either a severe outnumbering, too many wounded or a force that simply could not be reckoned with; persay magic. Well, Naomi had plenty of that, and there wasn't a single soul among that militia who didn't now bear some sort of injury from this skirmish. Their sergeant screamed Gerudo epithets over the heads of her troops("Lawu-lawu gliorion!") and made sure the four of them got an earful of insults before the last pair of parachute pants vanished behind an earthen smokescreen.

"Wahooo!" Posie made an uppercut into the air. "We did it! We kicked some Gerudo tail!"

Link applauded. "Nice work showin' 'em what's what, gals," he nodded, impressed. "And you weren't half bad yourself, Naomi. C'mon! Give yourself a hand."

She gave three sarcastic claps and groaned monotonously. "Whoop dee do. We won."

"Hey, that's not a victory cheer! Come on. Huzzahs for LPEN!"

"What did Navi do?" asked Elaine earnestly.

"No, N for Naomi!" Posie filled her in. "I think Navi doesn't count because she's a fairy." She smirked mischievously. Had she been older, an outsider might've wondered exactly what kind of fairy she meant Navi was, but being the kid she was it was safe to assume she meant a winged one.

"Oh! Speaking of Navi," Link reached over his shoulder and stuck his hand inside his backpack. He grouped about inside. "Hey! Glowball! Are you in there?"

He felt the silky tip of one of Navi's vellum-fine wings and braced his fingers around it. Not making any effort to be gentle, he unceremoniously yanked the pixie up and gave her a few good shakes and threatened to play hacky-sack with her if she didn't wake up.

She gave a banal yawn and blinked crusty eyes slowly a few times before she noticed she was dangling by one wing. Her head did a 90-degree twist and she began to beat furiously and snapped on her fay-light. Poised like a ballerina dancer and flickering in front of Link's face, she inquired, "What'd I miss?"

"A couple of drunken Gerudos, a lesson in family history and a few really wicked brawls that practically left me minus an arm," he told her with the manner of someone relaying the weather. "Oh, and we've got a stowaway on our caravan, by the way. Navi," and the fairy revolved, "this is Naomi. Naomi, Navi the fairy. Does this work?"

Navi returned to eye Link suspiciously. "How d'you manage to pick up these people, Linky boy? I swear, if you were any better at mingling you'd have flat-out transformation powers. And runs in the family too! Famous dad met average Jane mom; little sister adopted a Deku Scrub, you marrying a former Kokiri..."

"Posie's best friend being a half-Gerudo..." he added nonchalantly. He twisted his wrists around while absorbing an almost nonexistent night sky.

Navi didn't look a single percent taken aback. "I thought it was odd she knew so much," she taunted with her hands on her hips. "And I'm betting your little friend here is her long lost mother, no?"

"Aye, they always said the Sages knew a lot. Sage of Forest, Sage of Fire, Sage of Water, Sage of Shadow, Sage of Spirit, Sage of Light. And the Sage of 'Hey-Look-Listen.'"

Posie and Elaine cracked up on an instant.

"Whatever," she shrugged. "Look, can you and the Three Mess-kateers quit the clowning and focus on what you're doing?"

"We're not doing anything, though," retaliated Posie wryly. "Though we oughta be moving forward. Pressing on?"

"Roger," huffed Elaine as she started chugging on. And she was allowed to do so, because as their situation was no longer urgent then they could move at their own, leisurely pace.



The Wasteland was an exhaustingly vast stretch of territory best dubbed "Middle-Of-Nowhere" that could roll on for miles in any direction it wished, even those one could swear defied the laws of physics. Man, woman, children and fairy spent the next uneventful hour getting lost and finding their ways again, and all because that stupid ghost vanished during the middle of the fight. Fifteen of those were spent in angst over a sticky conundrum involving the crossing of quicksand. Then Naomi remembered a bit of obscure trivia about most quicksand being thin enough to be swim across. Link hurled most of his and the other's heavy supplies to the other side of the barrier and offered to take the first plunge. The sand squished uncomfortably filling his boots while he waded in, but he found that by floating on his back it was mostly passable.

For the fact that she had intelligence roughly measured with someone twice her age, Posie did not find the prospect of diving into that snaky mess inviting. "Daddy," she whined playing with the buckle on her belt, "can't quicksand pull you down and make you suffocate?"

"Only if you panic," Naomi answered for him. "It's just a lot of sand suspended in water. You wanna be like your dad, kid? Follow his lead! He understands."

Quarreling something about getting muddy, she flopped onto her backside at the rim of the pit and frog-kicked over to the other side. Naomi almost made a disaster out of things when she had to ferry Elaine across, who was less than a fish to any kind of liquid. But they all managed to get to the bank in one piece, though covered in cakey gunk.

"Well, if we're getting water quicksand holes, then at least we must be close to water," said Elaine optimistically. "And that means the river."

"Hike on," breathed Link, pointing in the direction the river supposedly lay.

"Yeah," chirped Posie, "and the sandstorms're dying down too. I'll bet we only have a little farther to go before we find the-"

Her voice vanished into thin air as she unwittingly plunged into a crevasse that rang below with water batting against the sharp buttresses. The sudden shock of it made Link tumble headfirst down, too much of his body slung over the cliff. There was no point in grabbing anything as he fell even so close to the cliff; his palms would be shredded. His head pounded against a stone jutting out from the wall, and he closed his eyes in unconsciousness. Below Posie hit the water and was enmeshed in a life or death struggle to overcome the undertow, and didn't manage to see what made Elaine and Naomi fall. She was only assured that they did, and Elaine's arrowed form suggested she'd dived out of caliber in a heroic effort to make a rescue. She would have most certainly acted could she swim. She broke the surface tension in a cloud of bubbles, immediately now in peril.

The last thing Elaine felt before blacking out was what felt like the weight of all of Hyrule Castle against her chest. She made frenzied efforts to kick to the surface beneath a stampede of white foam before her breath gave in.

Posie knew that, with the current what it was, a deliberate plunge under would be certain suicide. But letting Elaine drown was cowardice and murder. And what was worse, Link had fainted on the way down, and he was bobbing around who knows where. But she could still see the beaten liquid where the other child had been dunked. Going against every will she possessed except honor, she swallowed what air she could and her head vanished under a turbulent blanket.

In the ethereal green river, lit by stars and moon, Posie opened her eyes to an eerie drifting territory choked with river weeds and pearly gray stones. Hung upside-down and limp as driftwood, jetsam Elaine's skirt billowed with a gross blue motley. Luckily she was an easy find. Summing up the strength she could, Posie scythed through the current making snaily progress. There was an excess of murk that made it impossible to see too many feet ahead. Her cheeks began to turn purple as her supply of air ran low. She was forced to surface.

Struggling to stay buoyant, Naomi spotted her rocket up.

"Posie!" cried the distraught Gerudo. "Have you seen your father?! I can't find him anywhere!"

"I have no clue! But I gotta rescue Elaine! She's drowning down there; she can't swim remember?"

"Elaine!" Naomi shoved off a high piling of rock and barged against the slipping waters. "Where?!?!"

"Down there!"

"Right! You just do your best to survive, 'kay? I've gotta get Elaine!"

"But what about Dad-"-she sputtered and spat a mouthful of cold and brackish river away-"-Daddy?"

"Kid, if half of his stories are true this is cake to him! Look, every moment we waste in idle chitchat is possibly another death blow to my daughter! I know I was worried about him a moment ago, but I'm sure Link can hold his own! Just swim for it!"

Reluctantly Posie backpaddled slowly for a few seconds, then was overtaken by a new rift in current.

She tried to swim with the current, spreading her body wide to catch like a sail the incessant flow, crumpling up and dog-paddling when the stormy darkness ebbed. Wan moonlight glimmered overhead and illuminated hints of gold in her drenched and mucky hair. Never before had the stars overhead looked so devilish; they were high above and she was so lowly, down there... but the going seemed easier... she was getting used to the pressures exerted on her by the flood...

Naomi swam up to her side, floundering under the weight she carried under one arm. Elaine's skin was waxy and her face was blue, but the if not slightly strangled sound of her breathing was a comfort no mind could storm up to pacify its soul. That just left one more thing to be checked off their lists: WHERE in heaven's name was Link?

Ooh... the river was getting shallow up ahead. That meant they were nearing the basin where it emptied into Lake Hylia. Posie clipped under for a second and knocked her hip on something hidden but rather large and pointy. Mud-polluted water seeped into her smallish cut and stung. And still no sign of her father.

Naomi tumbled over something. Although she did not wake, Elaine screeched as one of her shoes fell off and was eaten by the river. Dazedly Posie turned her head for a moment as it jumped past her. She went under again, this time stubbed her toe, and resurfaced into dark. And not just the ebony blue of night. Almost extreme blackness.

Moiling heavily in the air were tiny, floating black objects. They looked almost exactly like the mage-light she had conjured earlier, but absorbed the bright oppositely of the way her spell gave it. They were pure and complete absence of any illumination. An aura shaped like a mass of bubbles surrounded the three. Just barely hazy outside of it was a tickle of blue... lightly veined wings pattered softly in the wind. A fairy? Navi! No, not Navi. Though they were of a similar hue, this creature was of a different tone, not like the yellow the fay she knew was. Where was it flying? Something pale as the moon, but with a mist of silver hair, beat beside it. It looked like a flying Kokiri... but that was silly. Kokiri didn't have the enormous, twenty-some-foot wingspan she did. Was it a goddess?

A voice, near as tender as Saria's but speckled as an iceberg, rumbled in the minds of them all and turned their bodies granite. "You saved Xial, Hylean," she echoed, "So I save all of you. And do not worry about your other companion." Her lips parted to shine teeth brilliant as new powder snow. "Luckily for him, his belt caught on a low-hanging branch and he's been dangling over the water. I'll send him off with you. Good luck, my friends."

Suddenly, the water fell away from them; or rather, they fell away from the water. They saw nothing outside of each other. Their voices were numbed, or perhaps it was their ears, for all was silent. In a dream brought on not by fever but favor, Elaine was told(and somehow remembered later) "...This will not be the last time we meet... but know the Guardian of Darkness and Xial watch you and guard thee..."

**************************************

Toranteya the Zora Prince was not a happy child. At least not at that moment. He had been playing a simple game of hide-and-seek with his younger half-brother, Brunilla(fondly called Bruno) when their grandfather the King informed him that he was to go to bed that instant; he had school in the morning. That was a preposterous proposition, seeing as his brother never had to go to bed on time(though he admitted, this was probably because he didn't go to school yet) and also because no one had been able to get any sleep since the Phantom had moved in right next door at the fountain. So he snarled and made his way to his bed chambers, where most other Zoras except for the King, his mother, and Bruno feared to tread. They were perfectly content with slabs of cool, wet stone for their beds, but he, only having half Zora blood, didn't find this at all comfortable. No, his room was decked in the finest downy covers and his bed puffed up like a marshmallow with all the covers on it. He was a popular Prince, true enough, though most everyone found him almost overburdeningly eccentric.

Now something wet, and cold, and heavy struck him and he awoke with a start.

At first he thought it was a half-drowned rat that had accidentally muddled through a corrupt magic zone, though rats were fatter and had little pink paws. This thing was brown head to toe, with red hair so greasy it repelled the dampness and a horrific mildewed wardrobe of the most clashing purples. No, it was a soaked Gerudo. He hadn't bothered to notice she'd just fallen out of the sky from seemingly nowhere. He just knew that the last thing he wanted was for Gerudo grime to taint his perfect sheets.

"Auuuhg! Gerudo! Off! Off! Off!"

Naomi coughed. Out one Dark World and into another. Apparently their mysterious and generous apparition had the intellect of a lump of iron for all her kindness. Either that, or she was bat blind. She began to rattle of a string of various curse words that surely, if she had been there, would have made Elaine go, "Mom!"

"Gare! Oooh! Dough! Ger-u-do! Somebody help meeee!"

"Shut up, you brat!" Naomi slammed her hand over the urchin's mouth. "I'm not gonna hurt you if you if you let me outta here! I didn't want to hurt you when I came in! I didn't even want to come here!"

He bit her finger and she recoiled. Saucily the boy asked, "Then how'd you get in?"

The boy propped himself up against his soufflé of pillows. Naomi vaulted herself off of his bed. "Look, kid," and she reached her arms out to him, "even I don't know what happened. All I know is this weird dragon lady appeared overhead and-"

"AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"Aww no," she mumbled, "Looks like the rest of my party just gave one of your little friends a bit of a fright. Well don't worry. I know a couple of freaks, but I don't think-"

"That was a shriek of delight, you dope!"

"Oooooooh!" cooed an ear-splitting pitched female voice from several doors down. "Link, you are a naughty boy! You've been fooling me for far too long, yes you have!" Any Hyrulean guru could place that chirping as undeniably Princess Ruto, the four-eyed undine princess of Zoras. And almost a foully beguiling one at that. About the only man, human or otherwise that could withstand her charms was Link, at one time betrothed to her(not by his own choice, it ought to be said). So it was a sort of given the last thing he'd like to do would be plopped down on top of her bed. He would have preferred the river.

"Heehee! And all this time I really thought you did like Saria! But here you are, you Don Juan, you!"

"R-R-Ruto!" Link gasped in a strangled way that suggested Ruto's arms were constricting his neck. "Get off! I didn't-gasp!"

Someone else shouted out in the typical peace of night.

A hoary, burbling older voice, heavily obscured by a mustache(or the Zoran equivalent). "I say! What in blazes-good Goddesses! What disregard of Nayru is this?!"

"Ahhhh! Fat fish man!"

Elaine, you were so wonderfully articulate on the moment. Well, Naomi contemplated, at least she was awake and alert, and didn't appear to have suffered any immediate damage.

"Hey! What's goin' on here?"

"Owww! You're really bony! ...Wait a minute, you're a Zora! How...?"

And all three of the others were accounted for. Fairi-whatever-her- name-was had at least seen them away from certain death. But there was no guarantee she'd severed them from trouble. Pestering a group of Zoras late at night, especially when you happened to be carrying a Gerudo with you, was just begging calamity.

There was a gasp. Link staggered away from Ruto. The Zora royal rooms had no doors; Naomi could see him tumbling. Blue-hued Ruto, standing there perplexed and all swaddled up in seaweed, clasped her hands in a sort of prayer and talked to Link with her face tilted. "But Linky-tums," she mumbled, though still talking down to him as if he were a dog, "didn't you come to see your jewel Ruto?"

"Ruto! Has it not gotten into your head yet that I don't like you?" His expression was sorry for being so candid; his eyes looked relieved. "I don't know how I got here! One moment I hit my head falling down the side of a canyon, and next I think I've gone through a rip and ended up in your room!"

"Mom!" Dazedly Toranteya tossed off his covers and slunk up to the princess's side. His figure was human enough, but the backs of his limbs were a scaly blue and his sluicing fins draped behind him. They were translucent and thin, and their ends were dotted with little turquoise knobs that allegedly possessed the magic that let Zoras dive so deep. The boy had eyes as dark as any of his mother's kind, but his hair was a curly red more suited to someone of Goron decent. His freckles were of a normal color, not teal.

Link edged back a few more steps and puckered his lips on a sideways glance. His eyes rolled halfway back into his head once he saw Toranteya, then he refocused them and let his lips free with a smack. "Ok, I'll bite." Flagrantly wafting his hand, he asked the ceiling that sparkled with the reflection of a puddle, "Do I know you?"

"No you don't," Ruto filled quickly.

"Are you sure?" Link gripped his chin. "Because you look awfully familiar. Ruto, you seem to know him." He looked at her. "What's this kid's name? Because I know I know that face."

"Errm, he's, ah... Toranteya. But no one you'd care to meet, I'm sure." Ruto's voice clamored with urgency. "Just, ehh, another kid... he's, ah, half-Zora, but, really, not like that's a big ordeal these days, after that one kid; what was his name? I told myself cloud-dancing and energy swords to try and remember but I just can't, and..." ...And on an on she rambled! She was obviously trying to divert Link from something. Link could see very obviously he was a half-Zora, he'd met another one before that he'd tried to rescue from a dungeon. That face was hauntingly familiar. His face was round enough, but his eyes cringed with malice, a certain jumpiness from the unexplainable. Those lips were set in a bossy and rambunctious way, he looked like a soul who enjoyed telling everyone else what to do...

Hold on!

A faint, ugly melody touched their ears and they were all held captive for a moment. A voice as phantasmal as the wind itself bore upon it a rude drinking song, accompanied by buzzing plucks on an obviously mis-tuned mandolin. The noise was genderless and almost indecipherable, but it made a creaking squeak four times the annoyance and twice the pitch of nails raking flint.

"Ack! Who hired an asthmatic canary to do the dinner entertainment?" In that second, interrupted by the boorish tune, Link had forgotten again where he had seen the boy before. He was not spared the moment to recoup his thoughts, either; Posie walked from the room downwind with hands locking ears shut and bemoaning the song. Ruto leapt to her toes to eyeball over Link's head and find out what made him start. She noticed Posie, and could do little to stifle her gasp.

"You!"

"Me?" The little girl was caught off-guard and removed her hands, ignoring the churlishly-crooned background "music."

"Link, your daughter!" Ruto stumbled back.

"Posie?" Link shrugged, palms open face.

"Posie?!" Toranteya exclaimed.

"Tony!" Posie strove to the side to make sure that too- familiar voice was not deceiving her.

"Tony? Here? Zora's Domain? I think?" Elaine strode from the farthest of the four rooms in the hall, picking what appeared to be seaweed out of her hair. Then; "Good Goddesses to the Dark World! It is him! What's that creep doing here?"

"Creep?! Watch what you're saying, you little wench, that's my son you're talking about!"

"Hey! Don't talk about Elaine that way! And since when was Tony the Terrible your son?"

"Wait. Ruto has a son. Any kid at all. You guys lost me at the last bend." Link pointed his fingers at a fictional fork in the road. "Would someone here who's in on the joke kindly explain the humor to me?"

"Where's the funny? This is Tony! The single biggest blight to Posie and me's existence! The bossiest kid in all kindergarten!"

"Wait a minute! You're the kid who was tossing me and Randy around last week, aren't you?"

"Yeah!" Posie crossed her arms. "Not to mention the fact that he picks on me and Elaine almost every-oops."

"Gotten considerably bolder now that your Daddy's here, eh, midge?" Tony gave a report pronged as lightning. "You may've gotten the better of me the other Friday, but I'll show you if you try that little stunt again." He rocked balled fists.

"Woah!" Link pantomimed bracing his hands against the sides of two walls closing in. "Kids, easy!" He blared particularly at a miniscule hand he saw preemptively reaching for its sword. "Now Posie, I remember you saying something about the head groupie back at school, but what's this about. Y' never said anything about... chronic bullying and whatnot."

Tony had a droopy, numbed stare that probably meant he'd understood less than half of what Link had just said. Aside from not picking up on a whole lot of the conversation on that day, seeming eons ago, but he had a considerably snubbed vocabulary. In comparison to Posie, naturally. A side effect of being read to from a novel every night(by her own choice, even more miraculously), she would ask every other minute, "Daddy, what's an 'orifice?'" or "Daddy, what does 'languished' mean?" The first few times she'd heard The Silver Sapphire, Link had done very little reading and much more explaining. He was much relieved(and a bit puffed up truth be told) when she stopped asking, obviously having memorized it all. So whereas most her age would go "huh?" if someone had told them to "Whet thy rapier and arm thy aegis," she'd nod and pick up her sword and shield. She could speak really flowery if she wanted too, but she mostly just stuck with typical, conversational Hylean unless she wanted to annoy someone. And very much did she want to annoy a certain someone that moment.

"Well, due to some... superficial technical adversity, I've had some slight shortcomings in relaying to you the cowing efforts of one Tony Barakos, who since day one..."

"Kid, stop it. You know it freaks me out when you do that. Yes, I know you're a smart kid, but keep it limited to something we'll all understand?"

Link wasn't the one she'd been trying to offend. Clearing her throat and grimly slipping her hands behind her back, she murmured, "I, uh, sorta forgot to tell you about him."

"Hmm. Well, that is a problem, then. I vaguely recall... Kakariko Village this morning... Miss Claire's boyfriend. He sort of mentioned this. Ever since school started, you say, he's been making fun of you?"

"Oh, enough;" Ruto stamped her foot, "this isn't a sappy psychiatry convention. We can resolve this later. Link, I don't know how you got here-"

"-And neither do I-" he interjected.

"-But you are here, and your daughter is here, and your daughter's friend is here, and some mangy Gerudo worm is here, and there's nothing I can do about it. Toranteya, could you go ask your grandfather if he has some rooms to spare? Might as well be hospitable, even to that- thing." She pointed inside Tony's room, where Naomi still stood shivering.

"Thank you, even though you don't deserve it, Zora guppy," sneered the ungrateful Gerudo.

"Guyyyys; the kids; we got on their case and let's not make them get on ours," Link hissed through half-clenched teeth and lips.

"Shut up!" he was snapped at in unison by both Ruto and Naomi.

A dissatisfied, gurgling growl, vaguely accented, bemoaned from the final room at the far end of the hall. "Goodness gracious! First that- girl and now you, lad! What is it? Let your grandsire get his beauty rest..."

That old ploy wasn't going to work on Tony. "Sorry, pops, but all the sleep in the world couldn't do wonders for your mug. Up!"

The Zora King snorted. "Such indigence! Where hast thy royal manners gone?"

"Don't gimmie none of that!" Onlookers in the room would see Tony bouncing on the portly fish man's pasty stomach. "Look! Mom needs a favor."

"Whaaaat? Make it hasty, boy, make it hasty..."

"Got any rooms? Link just showed up here, dragging along a Gerudo and a couple of girls I know from school. Yes, Gerudo. But she says that, since this weird Gerudo is Link's friend we have to be 'hospitable.' Whatever that means. Look, do we got places, or do we not got places?"

'Tell your mother she can put the lot of them up in the High Guest Suites for all I care; I haven't the energy to deal with anyone now. I'm just trying to get to sleep, and ignore that dreadful noise..." The plump merman shifted to his side and rather unceremoniously dumped Tony off. He jarred against the floor but was for the most of it unfazed.

He shook his head and beamed an interrogating look at the Zora King, giving garrulous fake snores obviously intended to ward the boy off. Sighing and shaking his head, he straightened out his chilled(and now slightly slimy) pajamas before he made his report to Ruto and the lot of them.

"Um, yeah," he nodded, "Pops says you can put them up wherever you want, Mom. Where did he say was open...? 'High Guest Sweets' or something like that. Is that good?"

"Ahh, it's perfect." Ruto folded her fins. "Those are our best rooms. Link," and she turned to her former fiancé, "I'm afraid that's by Zora standards, so the mattresses and such might be a little... hard," she warned. "There are no blankets, really, or pillows, but you can manage for the night, right?"

"I'll manage," he massaged his forehead, "but what am I gonna do in the morning?"

"Oh?" She inched behind him and put her webbed turquoise fingers on his shoulders. "Why? What's so important about tomorrow?"

"Nothing, it's just that now I'm going to have to totally deto- "-he noticed her hands pressed upon him-"-Get your hands of my shoulders, please!" Irritated, she briskly responded. "Anyway, I was saying, now I've got no way of getting to Mount Ipanajou this way! Originally we were going to take the cave, but I guess we took the wrong cave because we came out in the Gerudo Valley, which was how we got tied up with her. And no, I don't find her any more affable than you do, but I've got no chance of her leaving me alone all because of Elaine! The kid with brown hair," he informed. "So then," making violent gestures with his hands in front of him, "we were going to get across the river, only the river was down inside this huge chasm no one told me about! And here I am now. No idea how we got here whatsoever. And how was your day, Princess?"

"Save your sarcasm for the wench back home," Ruto uttered in choleric. "And my day I consider a matter of by own business; pardon. You didn't have to tell me all that, you know."

"Well gee!" Link was furiously agape as Ruto strutted off, walking with such a wobble that it was obvious she was trying to be seductive. "I am trying to be friendly, and this is what I get? And hey, you, make another quip like that about Saria and I'll-wha! Where are you going?!"

"Follow me and bring your posse if you want your lodgings." Ruto caught a blurred, bluish outline of Link as she flicked her neck a little, one of her peripheral and nearly-blind minor eyes evaluating him. "I'll be in a better mood in the morning if you still want to talk."

"After the show you're putting up now, why the heck would I bother?"

"At ease, soldier." Naomi knifed in-between him and Ruto, obscuring any eye contact they might attempt to make. "I think we're all testy. A bit of rest right now; that's the ticket. Some shut eye will set all our troubles straight."

"I'll vouch for that," yawned Posie.

Link shrugged in argument, but probably, he inwardly bemoaned, in was just another thing that probably ought to head off to bed.

He looked around himself to try and determine where he was, never having seen this stretch of Zora territory before. Oddly absent from the walls were the rippling reflections of water, reminiscent of vastly spread spider webs. Like all places around the Domain, however, the humidity was a burden, almost stifling in summer days during the afternoons. Judging from the hollow sort of rattle his feet made when they hit the floor, and a distant sort of swishing from southwest and below, his estimate was that they were just above the throne room. Clefts in the grayer, calcium-streaked stone walls dipped off here and there, leading to large, open rooms where members of the royal personnel slumbered peacefully. Condensation clung to his skin and chilled his bones. Or perhaps it was just him; no one else shivering outwardly as he.

"Brrrr. Kinda chilly in here, isn't it?"

"Not by Zora standards, I'd think," sighed a weary Elaine. "Though it isn't very fun, I'll admit, to try to fall asleep while you're freezing to death."

"Oh?" Ruto stopped; looked over her shoulder in a play of innocence. "Too cold? Well, perhaps I can spare an extra blanket from Tony's room. Hmm?" Link didn't like her cheeky, flirtatious little grin. It gave him the vague impression she was still trying to entice him. Which she probably was. Oh, was this the last place he'd choose to spend the first night off on adventure! Well, he could thwart a brigand of fangirls in the marketplace easily as he could dispatch an Anti-Kirby(which could be a feisty task when it wanted to be), so this was small-time. Now, why couldn't those blasted exotic princesses fall in love with other exotic princes instead of the guiltless knights?

"Um, no, I think we'll be fi-"-A delicate mist brushed past his lips with his words-"-fine." He tried to shoo it away with another breath, only to double the volume of the cloud.

"OK, this isn't right, I don't think," grumbled Naomi. She took a strand of her temple hair and crushed it, ending up with wet hair and a handful of minced ice crystals. "A few seconds ago, maybe half a minute, it was a vaguely bearable sixty-some degrees in here. Now it's shot down to what? Twenty? What's up with THAT?" She scanned, as if in plea to the ceiling, upward. A blue sphere of brilliance kicked along beside her shoulder and jubilantly brisked up into her face.

"Not amusing, Navi," she mumbled aside from her first strain of comments.

"...I'm over here." The lump of light teasing Naomi's nose had to wings. The true fairy gave her existence spotlight when she comically lifted up the rim of Link's hat and gazed around.

Even Ruto embraced herself now. In a harassed sideways voice, she snarled two words: "Toranteya Doubon..."

"Are you still here?" Posie more griped than asked when the half-scaly, half-flesh boy slyly showed behind their lot, from a bend they had just taken. "Maybe you oughta learn a few more useful tricks than that; like, oh, making yourself disappear?" Tony's ears turned a striking contrast of red to his blue fins.

"Toranteya, I've specifically told you time and time again, no magic pranks!" Ruto's hand ran down from her forehead to underneath her chin, where it gently released. "I understand you're proud of the spells you've learned, but you can't go casting them on others for your own amusement!" She dared to look up and glare him in the face, over the mountains of the people following her.

The temperature only dropped further, in rebellion.

"Hey, cut it out, will you? You're bringing back a whole score of bad memories for her!" Link's thumb rocketed back in a sort of hitchhiker pose at Tony, then his finger whiplashed to Ruto. "Go harass someone else for a while. And yes, Ruto," he lampooned, pitching his voice in satire, "I AM standing up for you. You can drop the phony disbelief now."

She shrugged, waggled her finger at Tony, and told him back off to bed. Men. Honestly. Who did he think he was? And she was thinking of both of them in that instance! At least one of them was easily dismissed. The one that was her son swung buoyantly around the corner dancing a jaunty little dance and humming the entrance melody of the treacherous Stalfos Pirates of the Deep Below. It was a catchy tune, though. His blue mage- light metronome-pulsed the rhythm while it played in front of his face.

And Link, too, she would drop in only an instant or two. She rounded upon the two most special of rooms, reserved for guests of the highest social status. Or whoever happened to pop in when there was no vacancy elsewhere. Each contained one extra-large slab of rock-a bed to a Zora-covered in a thin, soft coat of moss and algae with a pile of dried kelp as a pillow. Miniature mesas jutting up out of the floor were their bedside tables. The cavern of Zora's Fountain spawned rare blue fires in areas where the water-magic force ruptured, and embers of those flames shed their cyan light in both rooms. The diamond knives of the Zora masons had etched the seal of Hyrule above each bed; a stylized eagle with the Triforce suspended between its wings. For one not accustomed to the reception of the aquatic peoples, it was a mighty unappetizing sight.

"Now hold up a sec," waved Naomi, and she held up a barricade hand. "We've supposed to sleep in THERE? THIS is the best you have to offer?"

"'S'cuze me, but those are beds, and we are dead tired. I know it's not polite to talk back, but mom, really! Be more... gracious, yanno? Dad always told me, 'You get what you get and you don't throw a-"

"I know!" The Gerudo doubly cut the air with her palms.

"So I guess I'll just be leaving you here, then," sighed Ruto who took off in her own direction. "The stairs to the left will get you to the throne room. You know you way out from there. And Link..." She flailed a little at him, and put on her best suave face. "I'll be down the hall, if you need me for anything." Wink, wink and her fins flashed out of site.

Naomi put her fingers on her hips and chuckled. "Coquettish, hmm? She always been like that, Linky-boy?"

"I wish I could say no to that," he mumbled tiredly. Then he yawned. "Well, I dunno about you and Elaine, but I think Posie and I will get off to bed." Demurely, Link rubbed his already-sagging eyes and turned, in military fashion, into the room. Briskly Posie followed. Her face pricked out of its path for a moment and focused on Elaine. She barely opened her mouth to say something-Link's collapsing face-first on the rock- solid bed startled her for a moment. She gave a toothy grin that her friend returned. With a sublime shrug, she whispered, "Good night."



For a moment, Link silently cursed the Goddesses for conditioning. Back in the good old days, well, lying down on a stone or in slime was nothing. But over the years, he'd gone soft. Since Ganon had fallen, he'd never had to slumber in anything besides his cozy blue bed, layered with warm cotton sheets, and a goose-down cover for the upshot. No slipping around on anything green and moist, spending half the time finding a position that wouldn't make him slide off. No disturbing(and chilly) magical blue torches periodically spitting icy flakes at him. No wondering why Posie had actually volunteered to take the floor, no siree.

Or maybe, he reflected, he already missed Saria.

He sat up and mopped his brow, clammy with cold sweat. Link embraced his shoulders, trembling under the eminence of the enchanted cyan blaze. With contorted lips he blanked off into the rounded ceiling, softly baying a few of the nastier epithets he could think of against the frost, his location, and whatever was making that crazy caterwauling off in the distance. What on earth was it attempting to sing now? To a lazy ear it sounded like "Ninety-Nine Bottles Of Poe On The Wall," sung further off-key than the song should without being considered cruel and unusual punishment. He seriously wished he were back in his own(if not a tad obscure) comfortable tree-house back in the Kokiri Village. But that would be defeating the purpose of adventure, would it not? To get away from home and have some fun!

Well, as Navi would have loved to remind him, again, it wasn't all Lon Lon Cream. When life nipped and fought, you had to swing your shield around and put up with it. "But," he surrendered, "I happen to be the purely offensive sort of guy."

His pack was on the floor, lopsided and top-heavy with all of who knows what he'd managed to stuff in it. And while he'd been stuffing it full with his hodgepodge Posie had made her own contributions to the adventure's load, some of which he'd already unearthed in early searches. Mainly, the brilliantly purple star-flecked blanket she clung to at her bedtime. It had been a gift from Impa when she was born, a way of welcoming her warmly(no pun intended) to the world. Purple was the mascot color of the Shiekia, and to them it symbolized good health. The stars represented the night sky, or protection. Mostly, as a blanket, protection from hypothermia. Poor kid. She'd been so plain tired that she forgotten that part of her nighttime tradition, even surrounded by the frigid atmosphere the Zora's Domain kept. She'd probably have an easier night with a bit of warmth on her back. Link had a little exhausted smile and bent his worn legs to lift himself up of the stone. He hunched over the massive configuration of sturdy, traveling cloth and lifted the square covering the poorly-organized inside of the pack.

He squashed a pair of glass bottles to the side and brushed away the messy map(which had white flakes pouring out of its sides) to show the silky-looking piece of fabric. He pinched a flabby fold and lifted it straight out like a large kerchief, and threw it over his shoulder. He swiveled over on his knees and looked casually over to close the sack, and noticed what had been lying beneath the blanket-his ocarina. He realized just how stupid he'd been that day-they hadn't needed to hike up to the volcano, they could have jumped there on an instant. And in the desert? He could have made it to the sanctuary of the Spirit Temple with a few simple notes. Unfortunately no such melody existed that could take him to the Scholar's Tomb.

But there was one that could null the pangs of loneliness within him.

Link circled the stone bed to the other side where Posie was amazingly sleeping, and he let the blanket drift gently over her. He lifted her up of the ground for a moment, tucking the sides of the blanket underneath her, stroking her hair-he gave her a quick kiss on the forehead and sighed, "Sweet dreams, kid." He took the edge of the stone as his chair, rather than lying back down and attempting to fall back asleep. In his hands was the blue sweet potato he'd swiped from his backpack-ever so quietly he put the mouthpiece to his lips and gave a tiny blow, so the notes just barely had force to escape. F, A, B... F, A, B... F, A, B, E, D, B, C, B, G, E(low), C(low), D(low), F...

He took the instrument from his mouth. A congealing breath collected in front of his face. Heavily the sound of the air rushing through his lungs echoed, his eyes staring of into silence...

"Hello?" he spoke, to no one visible. Outside of the seal vacuumed around his body, no sound emerged from the recesses of his throat. Equally he searched for a response none but he could hear. His tongue clicked slightly as he swallowed a mouthful of nervous slime and repeated, "Hello?"

Softly he was returned by a tired, nonchalant voice, ricocheting like a Mystery Seed fired from a schoolboy's pea shooter. "Hello, Link," Saria chuckled wearily.

"Saria," he stated, closing his eyes and reaching out into what was empty, almost expecting to feel her there. He frowned a little when she wasn't.

"Couldn't sleep without your little security blanket, could you?" Saria sarcastically-but obviously wornly-asked. Link started a gurgle that might have been a "Yes," but he was cut off. "Don't feel bad about it. I couldn't either. It's really something different, without you for once..."

"Tell me about it," he lamented. "How was your day, anyway?"

"Dreadfully boring," was her straight answer. "Right after you left I took Epona and rode across Hyrule Field to reach Castle Town. I attended Rauru's service."

"Which passage?" Link asked, meaning from the Treantè.

"Would you believe Cairn and the old mine?"

"Oh no," Link smiled, knowing that was probably the worst possible story he or Saria could have heard that morning. The well-known account was of a Goron named Cairn, who found a mine brimming with delicious jewels. He kept returning to it, and every day for three years had precious gems for each and every meal. Then one day, the volcano erupted, and blocked off his mine. But his tastes had grown so cultured he choked on any normal rock. The moral? Never take anything for granted. You never realize how much something means to you unless it's taken away. "Well, I'm sorry that didn't go over well. What did you do after that?"

Now she sounded like she was starting to cry just a little. "I went and splurged on a bunch of things in the market place, and spent the rest of the day fixing up an absolutely gigantic dinner. I soon realized no one was there to eat it, so I went out and invited in all of the Kokiri. They kept me company, at least. After that was done, I sat down and picked up the first book I saw on the coffee table. And what do you think it was? The Silver Sapphire. I think the Goddesses are trying to punish me for letting the two of you go so easily, you know?"

Link was morose, but he couldn't help but crack a grin. "Well, wait till you hear all about today's excursions."

"Bad?" Saria snickered.

"Utterly insane," Link replied.

"Do tell. I know it's cruel of me, but I'll admit to taking a laugh or two at other's expense."

"I don't blame you! You've had Atahl for a fairy all your life, haven't you? Besides. The sheer lunacy of today is enough to send anyone into hilarity, or at least to make them go 'hmmm.' OK. We started out in Kakariko village, didn't we?"

"That's what you told me you were going to do. And...?"

"Well, we met up with Miss Claire's boyfriend and I stopped to chat. Right in the middle of our conversation, Posie and Elaine take off! I try to follow them, cause a complete uproar in the village, and hear this GIANT clamor coming from the potion shop. I run off and I find the potion shop in a mess, destroyed by a little fairy that Elaine accidentally set free. Don't ask me how they got there that fast, either. Well, I give them a talking-to and we're off again. Up the mountain. Mobbed by Tektites. Finally reach the city, and we find out that Twinrova's been there!"

"Woah," nodded Saria off in the forest, shocked.

"So we get a couple tunics on loan from Darunia. Up into the volcano crater! There's this crazy earthquake and Posie gets lost. Elaine and I spend a couple minutes digging through rocks to try and find her, when suddenly there's a huge explosion that throws us back! Posie, it seems, discovered a miniature cavern and met up with an unruly baby Dodongo. We take a few minutes to heal. Then we meet up with Lizafos! I beat one up, Elaine steals one's dagger and beats it up, they're done with." Link paused and inhaled quickly. "Right?"

"If you say so."

"So," Link continued, "we go down the passage that's supposed to lead to Ruto's cave. We pass through a cloud of weird fog. End up in the Gerudo's Valley! No-"-he put out a hand, even though Saria couldn't see it to be halted-"-it CAN get worse. The girls convince me to go cross-dressing and sneak through. We meet up with this outcast Gerudo, who calls herself Naomi. Appears she had an affair with a man from the outside a few years back. Got her in trouble. Got him in trouble too. Then I found out, this man was none other than Randy Parkerstine yourself."

"You're kidding!" gasped Saria. "Does that mean that Elaine-"

"-Is half Gerudo? Oh yeah. You'd better believe it. I've not been able to shake Naomi since we met her, but she's nice enough. She helped us- a lot-in getting through the desert. She knows it very well. Then we fell into the river, and I, uh-hit my head and got knocked out. When I wake up, I've landed straight on Ruto's bed."

"And how in the world did you do that?!"

"Wish I knew," Link shrugged. "Right now the Zoras are loaning us a couple of beds. Posie and I nabbed one room, Naomi and Elaine the others. And it's cold, and it's slimy, and I REALLY wish I were home right now."

"So do I, Link," Saria moaned, "So do I."

"Well, I suppose it's not so bad. It's not like I lost the ocarina or anything. And I'm glad I can still talk to you like this-the way we used to." Happily he recounted the warm memories floating around in his mind. "It makes me feel a lot better. But of course... it's not the same as really being with you."

"I know," mumbled Saria. "But I still love you, Link. I'll love you no matter how far away you are. I'll love you and Posie both, and with my love, maybe I can push your mission a step closer to succeeding."

"A nice, romantic notion, but I have doubts about that one. A little hope never hurt anyone, though."

"Nope." Saria tried her best to seem happy and brisk, for Link's sake. "Never did."