Somewhere Out There
A/N: Everyone is so down on Katie and/or Ash's feelings about Katie. I think of it as like, if Ashley and Liberty were in the same year, there would be some definite tensions about who gets the better grades. Take a look around your school sometime, the leaders are definately cut throat, and I bet a lot of your valedictorians have made tons of sacrifices to be that. And Katie is 150% based on Katie Holmes' character in Teaching Mrs Tingle. The appearance, the grades, etc.
Chapter 6: Do You Realize?
"Spin, what's going on?" Craig asked.
"Jimmy's gonna be OK, they said he just broke his arm, which sucks, but Marco..." Spinner started.
"He's in surgery," Marco's mother said coming up behind Craig and Ashley. "There was a lot of internal bleeding and organ damage."
Craig's hand went involuntarily to his head. Ashley looked at him, longingly wanting to hold him, to comfort him in any way, but knowing that wasn't possible. So she looked behind her and saw Paige running in gripping Dylan's hand. "Spin!" Paige cried as she grabbed Spinner and held on to him for dear life.
"Are you OK?" Spinner asked her.
"I thought, I didn't know, I thought you were hurt, I thought you got hurt," she said over and over.
"I'm fine, shh, calm down," he said trying to comfort her. He was embarrassed she could be so happy when Marco's parents were right there, with little reason for a smile to be on their faces.
Dylan got informed by Vanessa Del Rossi, Marco's mother, of the entire accident and Marco's current condition. "Jimmy was driving too fast, too fast. He missed a stop sign and the other car hit Jimmy's car, hitting Jimmy and Marco, but not Gavin who was on the other side. Marco wasn't wearing his seat belt..." she was interrupted by a doctor, followed closely by Jimmy.
The doctor talked to Marco's parents away from the rest of the kids. "He made it out of surgery, but he needs at least a week to recover. We're expecting full recovery, but it will take a while and support from the family and his friends."
Vanessa broke down in joyous sobs on her husband's shoulder. He smiled and wrapped his arm around her, pulling her closer. "Thank God," she kept saying. "Praise God."
Everyone else crowded around Jimmy, asking him about his arm and what happened. Craig, hearing enough and wanting to take a break, sat in the hospital chairs previously occupied by Mr. and Mrs. Del Rossi. He noticed Jimmy's parents weren't there, and wondered how demented they must be to not come for Jimmy after he was in a life-threatening accident.
Just as he thought this, Mr. and Mrs. Brooks entered the waiting room. "Jimmy!" A wave of guilt flooded over Craig for a second, but then he pushed all the feelings away. Feeling is what gets him in the most trouble. If he could just stop feeling anything altogether, everything would work out.
But he looked at Ashley, and feelings overcame him. He had been so in love with her, but that feeling was quite new to him and he did, he admitted, get it confused with other feelings. The truth is, he didn't know how to act around her. She was so high above him. And he was sure one day she would wake up and realize this, and leave him. So, yes, he was scared, and Manny, he thought she understood. She pretended like she did. But, no, she wanted to trick him into breaking up with Ashley. If only Manny realized how much she had him screwed up, maybe she would apologize. Or at least stop caring so much. Instead, she killed their child. He couldn't even think about that.
At a time when Marco, Jimmy, or even Spinner, could have easily been killed by recklessness, Craig felt an even bigger part of himself die. A part that he didn't even know about. He looked at Ashley, trying her hardest not to cry, as she held on to Jimmy, almost for dear life. "Ashley should be with Jimmy," Craig thought. "He would take good care of her." But even as the thought it, jealousy surged through his veins. He knew he would have to give her up eventually, soon actually, but why couldn't things just work out for once?
Craig had been staring off into space, but in Ashley's general direction, so she came over to him. "How are you?" she asked.
He wanted to tell her everything as he looked into her eyes. He wanted to admit to leaving, to being so guilty he could break, to wanting to mourn the death of his unborn child, everything. But he couldn't. He put his arm around her, and looked down at her. She tensed up at first, but then put her head on his shoulder and it all seemed right. There was some unspoken agreement between them that through tragedy and heartbreak, they still had each other. As strained and awkward as it might seem to anyone else, it worked for them. "Ashley," he whispered after a few moments of just drinking each other's presence in. It still felt so right. This moment, he wanted to stay in Degrassi forever to live this moment one more time.
"Hmm?" she said, not moving her head.
"I don't deserve you. I don't deserve another chance. The only thing I really do deserve is a good beating. But, do you think, maybe, we could hang out this weekend? I just, I want to be able to do that. You know, hang out and talk. I... do you think we could?"
She wrapped her arms tighter around his waist. "Sure," she muttered. It all fit into the moment. At any other time during the past few months, Craig would have known his place and not even thought about bringing it up. And at any other time, Ashley would have slapped him for even suggesting it. But the accident put things in perspective: they could lose each other at any time. Why wait a sufficient amount of time for things to be settled or for him to learn his lesson? All that was guaranteed was this moment, with this person. And as they lost themselves in each other, they knew that no one else would ever make them feel this way again.
Craig wasn't sure how to break this to Joey, and then eventually, Nick. He hadn't planned on all of this happening. He wasn't ready to leave this life he had called home, and he never wanted to leave Ash again.
Marco had taken a turn for the worse in the middle of the night, and Dylan was a permanant fixture in his room now. Marco's parents, always suspicious but never with any proof, finally dealt with the reality that their son was gay and in love, with a boy. The next couple of days were the hardest, although by the end of the week, Marco was Marco again. He finally regained consiousness and was able to talk and even started walking again.
It had been the scare of a lifetime for Jimmy, and everyone could see a drastic change in his personality. No longer was he as happy or courageous, but he seemed to become reclusive. The Katie and Jimmy relationship that the whole school was betting on seemed to fade away. He was at Marco's bedside almost as much as Dylan, feeling tremendous guilt and not knowing what to do. Marco was fine with it, he knew it was a mistake anyone could've made, but Jimmy blamed himself.
Craig finally set his date with Ashley on Saturday, the day he would have been moving. He finally broke the news to Joey, who just gave him a pat on the back and told him that it was the life of Craig Manning, and no one was going to tell him how to live it, exactly. Craig was thankful for the compassion of Joey, but he still wasn't sure how to tell Nick. So, he put it off.
It was Friday afternoon and Ashley sat down in the front of her after lunch English class. English had always been her favorite subject, she felt like she could express herself in ways she had never thought about before. However, it seemed Katie Watson felt the same way. They were currently both maintaining 100's, but Ashley never felt totally safe with Katie competing for the top, also.
"Alright students, I know it's short notice, but that's the whole point of this next project. This will be counted for 1/4 of your semester grade, so I suggest that no one take it lightly. I am asking each of you to choose a favorite short story or short play you've read, and I'm hoping this is one you've already read and has stuck out in your mind, not one you pick Sunday night and pass off as a favorite, and to do a mini project on it. You can do whatever you want including jeopardy to get other students involved, or any other sorts of games, or you could act it out even. But remember, this is a one person project, and it's due Monday. You can take the rest of class to think about it, and I'll be up here for anyone to ask questions about. You may also go to the library, if you're so inclined. Have fun!" Ms. Kawn sat down at her desk and the whole class sat stunned. A project due in 3 days? That would count for 25% of their grade? Was she serious?
"Ms. Kwan?" Ashley asked.
"What is it, Ashley?" Ms. Kawn answered.
"Could you maybe write your own short story, almost rewriting one that you've read before? Or, write a short story based on a poem you've read?"
Ms. Kwan seemed to think about it. "I think that would be a wonderful idea for you, Ashley."
Craig sat down next to Ashley. "Let's go to the library," he offered. She agreed, but only because she really needed to reread the Stephen Crane poem she loved so dearly.
She sat at a computer and started researching as soon as she sat down. He sat next to her, just staring at her. "Craig, stop it," she said.
He smiled. "I just love that I can do this without looking like a stalker."
"Maybe you should start to work on your's," she insisted.
"I can't. You're too much of a distraction."
"Craig. I need to work." Her tone sounded harsher than she intended, but Craig just smiled and started to work aimlessly on his own report.
After a few minutes, Katie had found her way to the library and sat down next to Craig. Ashley watched Katie out of the corner of her eye as she worked ferociously on a story revolving around the poem "A Man Said to the Universe." She began to stress herself out, realizing that if she didn't do perfect on this presentation that Katie might be able to edge her way into top of the class, and eventually, Ashley would have to deal with mediocrity from herself. This made her type faster and ignore Craig altogether. Finally, the bell rang, and the three students stood up. "So, tomorrow?" Craig asked.
Ashley stared at the printed pages in her hand. She had barely scratched the surface. She wouldn't have time for Craig, not this weekend. But maybe it was for the best, things were going too fast anyway. "I'm sorry Craig," she said, walking past him. "I have to work on this all weekend. Next weekend, though?"
Craig stared at her retreating figure. How could she do that to him, and with such a lame excuse? This project would take him a half hour, hour tops, and he knew Ashley wasn't the type to stay home on a Saturday night to work on school work. He couldn't believe she didn't want to be with him.
As he sulked down the hallway, Manny ran up to him. "Craig, what the hell is your problem? How could you just, be so mean to me after I opened my heart up to you?" she cried. He ignored her completely, even giving her a slight push to the side. Well, it's a good thing he hadn't called Nick yet. He was leaving, for good this time.
A/N: Everyone is so down on Katie and/or Ash's feelings about Katie. I think of it as like, if Ashley and Liberty were in the same year, there would be some definite tensions about who gets the better grades. Take a look around your school sometime, the leaders are definately cut throat, and I bet a lot of your valedictorians have made tons of sacrifices to be that. And Katie is 150% based on Katie Holmes' character in Teaching Mrs Tingle. The appearance, the grades, etc.
Chapter 6: Do You Realize?
"Spin, what's going on?" Craig asked.
"Jimmy's gonna be OK, they said he just broke his arm, which sucks, but Marco..." Spinner started.
"He's in surgery," Marco's mother said coming up behind Craig and Ashley. "There was a lot of internal bleeding and organ damage."
Craig's hand went involuntarily to his head. Ashley looked at him, longingly wanting to hold him, to comfort him in any way, but knowing that wasn't possible. So she looked behind her and saw Paige running in gripping Dylan's hand. "Spin!" Paige cried as she grabbed Spinner and held on to him for dear life.
"Are you OK?" Spinner asked her.
"I thought, I didn't know, I thought you were hurt, I thought you got hurt," she said over and over.
"I'm fine, shh, calm down," he said trying to comfort her. He was embarrassed she could be so happy when Marco's parents were right there, with little reason for a smile to be on their faces.
Dylan got informed by Vanessa Del Rossi, Marco's mother, of the entire accident and Marco's current condition. "Jimmy was driving too fast, too fast. He missed a stop sign and the other car hit Jimmy's car, hitting Jimmy and Marco, but not Gavin who was on the other side. Marco wasn't wearing his seat belt..." she was interrupted by a doctor, followed closely by Jimmy.
The doctor talked to Marco's parents away from the rest of the kids. "He made it out of surgery, but he needs at least a week to recover. We're expecting full recovery, but it will take a while and support from the family and his friends."
Vanessa broke down in joyous sobs on her husband's shoulder. He smiled and wrapped his arm around her, pulling her closer. "Thank God," she kept saying. "Praise God."
Everyone else crowded around Jimmy, asking him about his arm and what happened. Craig, hearing enough and wanting to take a break, sat in the hospital chairs previously occupied by Mr. and Mrs. Del Rossi. He noticed Jimmy's parents weren't there, and wondered how demented they must be to not come for Jimmy after he was in a life-threatening accident.
Just as he thought this, Mr. and Mrs. Brooks entered the waiting room. "Jimmy!" A wave of guilt flooded over Craig for a second, but then he pushed all the feelings away. Feeling is what gets him in the most trouble. If he could just stop feeling anything altogether, everything would work out.
But he looked at Ashley, and feelings overcame him. He had been so in love with her, but that feeling was quite new to him and he did, he admitted, get it confused with other feelings. The truth is, he didn't know how to act around her. She was so high above him. And he was sure one day she would wake up and realize this, and leave him. So, yes, he was scared, and Manny, he thought she understood. She pretended like she did. But, no, she wanted to trick him into breaking up with Ashley. If only Manny realized how much she had him screwed up, maybe she would apologize. Or at least stop caring so much. Instead, she killed their child. He couldn't even think about that.
At a time when Marco, Jimmy, or even Spinner, could have easily been killed by recklessness, Craig felt an even bigger part of himself die. A part that he didn't even know about. He looked at Ashley, trying her hardest not to cry, as she held on to Jimmy, almost for dear life. "Ashley should be with Jimmy," Craig thought. "He would take good care of her." But even as the thought it, jealousy surged through his veins. He knew he would have to give her up eventually, soon actually, but why couldn't things just work out for once?
Craig had been staring off into space, but in Ashley's general direction, so she came over to him. "How are you?" she asked.
He wanted to tell her everything as he looked into her eyes. He wanted to admit to leaving, to being so guilty he could break, to wanting to mourn the death of his unborn child, everything. But he couldn't. He put his arm around her, and looked down at her. She tensed up at first, but then put her head on his shoulder and it all seemed right. There was some unspoken agreement between them that through tragedy and heartbreak, they still had each other. As strained and awkward as it might seem to anyone else, it worked for them. "Ashley," he whispered after a few moments of just drinking each other's presence in. It still felt so right. This moment, he wanted to stay in Degrassi forever to live this moment one more time.
"Hmm?" she said, not moving her head.
"I don't deserve you. I don't deserve another chance. The only thing I really do deserve is a good beating. But, do you think, maybe, we could hang out this weekend? I just, I want to be able to do that. You know, hang out and talk. I... do you think we could?"
She wrapped her arms tighter around his waist. "Sure," she muttered. It all fit into the moment. At any other time during the past few months, Craig would have known his place and not even thought about bringing it up. And at any other time, Ashley would have slapped him for even suggesting it. But the accident put things in perspective: they could lose each other at any time. Why wait a sufficient amount of time for things to be settled or for him to learn his lesson? All that was guaranteed was this moment, with this person. And as they lost themselves in each other, they knew that no one else would ever make them feel this way again.
Craig wasn't sure how to break this to Joey, and then eventually, Nick. He hadn't planned on all of this happening. He wasn't ready to leave this life he had called home, and he never wanted to leave Ash again.
Marco had taken a turn for the worse in the middle of the night, and Dylan was a permanant fixture in his room now. Marco's parents, always suspicious but never with any proof, finally dealt with the reality that their son was gay and in love, with a boy. The next couple of days were the hardest, although by the end of the week, Marco was Marco again. He finally regained consiousness and was able to talk and even started walking again.
It had been the scare of a lifetime for Jimmy, and everyone could see a drastic change in his personality. No longer was he as happy or courageous, but he seemed to become reclusive. The Katie and Jimmy relationship that the whole school was betting on seemed to fade away. He was at Marco's bedside almost as much as Dylan, feeling tremendous guilt and not knowing what to do. Marco was fine with it, he knew it was a mistake anyone could've made, but Jimmy blamed himself.
Craig finally set his date with Ashley on Saturday, the day he would have been moving. He finally broke the news to Joey, who just gave him a pat on the back and told him that it was the life of Craig Manning, and no one was going to tell him how to live it, exactly. Craig was thankful for the compassion of Joey, but he still wasn't sure how to tell Nick. So, he put it off.
It was Friday afternoon and Ashley sat down in the front of her after lunch English class. English had always been her favorite subject, she felt like she could express herself in ways she had never thought about before. However, it seemed Katie Watson felt the same way. They were currently both maintaining 100's, but Ashley never felt totally safe with Katie competing for the top, also.
"Alright students, I know it's short notice, but that's the whole point of this next project. This will be counted for 1/4 of your semester grade, so I suggest that no one take it lightly. I am asking each of you to choose a favorite short story or short play you've read, and I'm hoping this is one you've already read and has stuck out in your mind, not one you pick Sunday night and pass off as a favorite, and to do a mini project on it. You can do whatever you want including jeopardy to get other students involved, or any other sorts of games, or you could act it out even. But remember, this is a one person project, and it's due Monday. You can take the rest of class to think about it, and I'll be up here for anyone to ask questions about. You may also go to the library, if you're so inclined. Have fun!" Ms. Kawn sat down at her desk and the whole class sat stunned. A project due in 3 days? That would count for 25% of their grade? Was she serious?
"Ms. Kwan?" Ashley asked.
"What is it, Ashley?" Ms. Kawn answered.
"Could you maybe write your own short story, almost rewriting one that you've read before? Or, write a short story based on a poem you've read?"
Ms. Kwan seemed to think about it. "I think that would be a wonderful idea for you, Ashley."
Craig sat down next to Ashley. "Let's go to the library," he offered. She agreed, but only because she really needed to reread the Stephen Crane poem she loved so dearly.
She sat at a computer and started researching as soon as she sat down. He sat next to her, just staring at her. "Craig, stop it," she said.
He smiled. "I just love that I can do this without looking like a stalker."
"Maybe you should start to work on your's," she insisted.
"I can't. You're too much of a distraction."
"Craig. I need to work." Her tone sounded harsher than she intended, but Craig just smiled and started to work aimlessly on his own report.
After a few minutes, Katie had found her way to the library and sat down next to Craig. Ashley watched Katie out of the corner of her eye as she worked ferociously on a story revolving around the poem "A Man Said to the Universe." She began to stress herself out, realizing that if she didn't do perfect on this presentation that Katie might be able to edge her way into top of the class, and eventually, Ashley would have to deal with mediocrity from herself. This made her type faster and ignore Craig altogether. Finally, the bell rang, and the three students stood up. "So, tomorrow?" Craig asked.
Ashley stared at the printed pages in her hand. She had barely scratched the surface. She wouldn't have time for Craig, not this weekend. But maybe it was for the best, things were going too fast anyway. "I'm sorry Craig," she said, walking past him. "I have to work on this all weekend. Next weekend, though?"
Craig stared at her retreating figure. How could she do that to him, and with such a lame excuse? This project would take him a half hour, hour tops, and he knew Ashley wasn't the type to stay home on a Saturday night to work on school work. He couldn't believe she didn't want to be with him.
As he sulked down the hallway, Manny ran up to him. "Craig, what the hell is your problem? How could you just, be so mean to me after I opened my heart up to you?" she cried. He ignored her completely, even giving her a slight push to the side. Well, it's a good thing he hadn't called Nick yet. He was leaving, for good this time.