Like Diamonds in the Sky, a babylon 5 fanfic

Like Diamonds in the Sky

Author's notes:

Set shortly after Mind War.

His thoughts raced. He had to find a way out of here! They were coming! He had to get away! Jumping over a pile of garbage, he ran down yet another dark alley. He could almost hear them as he desperately tried the doors of yet another abandoned building. His only hope was to hide somewhere; fighting them was impossible. He didn't know where they were, but he was sure that they were close. The panic caused his hands to shake as he finally managed to open one of the rusty doors. Up, up!

He reached out with his mind, calm, focused, precise. A long time ago he would have been excited to take part in a hunt such as this one, but not anymore. He had seen hundreds of Blips trying to run away, and in the end he had caught them all. No need to hurry. They couldn't win. They never did. Ah, and there it was, the trail, the terrified scent of the Blip. With a wave of his good hand, he indicated the Bloodhounds to follow him. This one wouldn't get away, either. He never lost. The Corps never lost.

As he raced upstairs, his lungs seemed to slowly burn away in his chest. Stopping, he bent over to try to catch his breath. He hadn't run in a long time; they hadn't allowed that. This was the first time in years he had left his small, cold room, had left the ward, had left the building that had been his involuntary home ever since they had caught him. He had almost forgotten what real air was like. It smelled wet, smoky, earthy, a bit like the rain he remembered from his childhood. He inhaled deeply, enjoying the un-filtered air, and ran on. All he wanted was to get away, to smell the rich scent of a forest one last time, to be free. That was all.

The Bloodhounds surrounded him, allowing him to extend his senses far beyond the borders of his own mind. They were his eyes, his ears, his mind. He knew what they knew; the Blip had entered a building nearby. Through them he sensed his fear and his exhaustion. Even after all these years he still found it difficult to understand why they would do that, run away from the Corps, their only true family. Not that it mattered, but somewhere deep inside him, hidden under the scars that many years of duty for his Corps had left, there was still that little boy that had been trying to understand the meaning behind an old black and white movie. Well, no matter what, it would be over soon.

The roof, finally! His vision swam as he opened the last door on his journey. It was dark outside. Looking up, he could see the stars. He felt tears dwelling up in his eyes. It had been so long, so very, very long. Taking a deep breath, he stumbled forward.

They had reached the end of the staircase. He hesitated briefly in front of the door. It had been a painful lesson to learn, but he had come to realize that sometimes it was better not to rely too much on his superior powers. Yes, he was a Psi Cop, but even Psi Cops weren't invincible. There was a reason why he was only accompanied by Bloodhounds on this hunt, and not by a fellow Psi Cop, a true partner. He knew that he could trust his 'Hounds, knew that they were willing to die to protect both the Corps and him, he had made that much sure. However, being on the right side - the only possible side - didn't make you invincible either. They had to be careful now. Even a telepath could never be sure of what exactly might be lurking behind the next corner, or a rusty, old door. With a slight nod of his head he indicated for the leader of the Bloodhound unit to open the door to the roof.

He didn't hear them, their shields were far too strong for his untrained mind. He was too scared and tired to attempt a scan, anyway. Instead, he heard the quiet creak of the old door's hinges as it swung open. He ducked behind a chimney. This time he couldn't run away. Tiredly, he had checked the whole roof for possible escape routes, but the only way left for him was down. Closing his eyes, he said a quiet prayer, surprised by the sudden urge to do so. When he had been a little boy, his parents had taken him with them to church every single Sunday. They had prayed before every meal, and even as he had grown older, he hadn't stopped praying every night. The past few years, however, he hadn't prayed even once. First he had been angry at the unfairness of it all, and then he had been too busy with hiding from the Corps. And then, when they had finally caught him, he had been too numb to ask God why he was allowing such things to happen. Wasn't it ironic that the day he finally felt alive enough to attempt it again, he was likely to die? He took another shaky breath, and opened his eyes once more. They were only doing what they had been raised and taught to do, just as he was. He couldn't hate them for that. The realisation helped him to calm down, and when the anger had left him, he felt oddly at peace with himself and the universe. As he looked up, he noticed what a pretty night it was. The sky was clear, and the stars above him were glittering like small diamonds attached to a black velvet curtain. He didn't want to die.

There he was, hiding in the shadows behind an old chimney. Surprisingly clear, given that he couldn't get a direct line of sight. The fear gave him away. He sensed the excitedness of his Bloodhounds around him, they thrived on this feeling. He couldn't allow himself to be carried away by such primitive emotions, and yet he shared their quiet triumph. In the end, no one ever got away.

His room in the facility had always been brightly lit. He believed that they had been trying to break him that way. It hadn't worked, and neither had the drugs, or the scans, or anything else. It hadn't been his faith that had saved his sanity; it hadn't been God, or someone else. It simply had been his own stubbornness. He just had refused to give up, no more, no less. Gritting his teeth, he decided that he wouldn't give up now, either. Maybe he couldn't win, maybe he wouldn't make it. However, he knew that he would fight till the end. They wouldn't catch him crouching on the floor like a coward. He took one final calming breath, looked up at the dark sky once more, and then stood up. No, not like a coward.

Finally direct line of sight. Was he going to give up? He hadn't anticipated such a move; the Blip's profile indicated a different mindset. He was a fighter. Briefly, the Psi Cop regretted that they hadn't been able to turn him around. He would've made a good Bloodhound, or maybe even a Psi Cop like himself. Now that he had direct eye contact, he got the Blip's emotions much clearer: there was fear, regret, but also anger. Then, a clear thought, openly readable to his trained mind even without a deep scan: I don't want to die. The Cop nodded grimly, and sent back: And we don't want to have to kill you.

He saw the Cop stepping forward, felt a mindprobe testing his blocks. Then a reply to his unspoken thought:

And we don't want to kill you.

Were his blocks that bad?

Not exactly, but your emotions give you away. A sense of superiority accompanied that message.

He decided that they might just as well talk directly, with or without the Cop reading his thoughts: Well, thank you, I guess. So, what now? I'm not going back, just so that you know. He tried to hide his fear better this time, concentrating on the peace of mind he had achieved just a couple of minutes ago.

I can't let you go. You know that, don't you? And where would you want to go, anyway? There's no place for people like us outside of Psi Corps. The mundanes would never accept you, you would never be at home among them.

Oh, but spending the rest of your life in a cold cell sounds so much better! He knew that this was getting him nowhere. They could argue all night, and in the end he'd still either be in prison once more or dead. There weren't many choices left for a rogue telepath facing a Psi Cop and a Bloodhound unit.

The Cop didn't reply this time. Maybe the man had caught that last thought, or maybe he simply agreed with him. He began to move towards the edge of the roof, slowly, hoping that they wouldn't notice. He could feel the Cop's intense gaze as it bore into him. Only two more meters. All that mattered now was to keep up his blocks. One meter. Just another step. Almost there, almost there.

Finally, they seemed to have noticed what he was up to. He saw the Cop tense, his stronger blocks still keeping any thoughts from him, but he could read his facial expression anyway. He didn't seem to be pleased when his 'Hounds finally rushed forward.

It didn't matter anymore. They had reacted too late. He had reached the edge.

As he stepped on the low stone wall that was the only thing separating him from freedom right now, he smiled. It was over. They wouldn't take him back.

Don't! We both know that you don't really want to do this. The voice cutting into his thoughts was urgent. The Cop was… worried?

"I wouldn't be too sure of that, if I were you." He chose to speak out loud now. He wanted everyone to hear his last words. Maybe they wouldn't be very smart or meaningful, but at least he wouldn't go down silently. He had never been very good at being a teep, anyway. "Do you believe in God?", he asked, quietly, suddenly curious.

The Cop had come closer, and he could see his face more clearly now. He was surprisingly old, he'd probably been doing this dirty job for decades. Somehow this knowledge made him feel better about losing in the end; obviously it had never been a fair game.

When the man replied, he frowned: "No. The concept of someone else deciding the course of our lives never quite appealed to me. Do you?"

He almost laughed out loud at the irony of this statement. Shaking his head he answered: "You know that already, don't you? I bet you've got all the details down in that little file about me and my life, right below my favorite dish, the name of my kindergarten teacher, and the number of cavities in my teeth. Don't you?" Even while they talked he made sure that the Bloodhounds remained where they were; the last thing he needed right now was for one of them to grab him before he could finish this. "Well, I guess this isn't the right time to discuss this. I dunno why we're even having this conversation. And please don't try to stop me with a scan or something like that; I know that I'm not even close to your strength, psi-wise, but I'm quite sure that I'll be able to fight you off long enough to jump."

The other man was still watching him quietly. When he finally spoke up, he looked almost apologetic. "You know that we can't let you go away. It's the way things are. I'm not the one who made these rules, but I won't hesitate to enforce the law."

He sensed that the Cop was up to something. Had he another card hidden up his sleeve? Up until now he had felt fairly save in his current position, but now he wondered if he might be overseeing something. He threw a quick, nervous glance over his shoulder, but couldn't see anything in the darkness of the night. Turning halfway toward the street below, he inched a bit closer to the edge. The toes of his shoes were now hanging in the air, and strangely he actually felt safer that way. He could still see the Cop out of the corner of his left eye. Shaking slightly - he wasn't sure if from cold or fear - he turned his head so that he could see him better. He smiled lopsidedly. "You know, you don't even look that bad. In my nightmares you Psi Cops always were a lot scarier." He could see the Cop and the Bloodhounds tense as he inched even further towards the abyss, his feet now half-way in the air. Balancing on his heels alone wasn't easy, but he figured that he wouldn't have to hold that position for long. "Please tell my parents that I love them." He sighed. "All I ever wanted was to be left alone. To walk barefoot through a forest, to feel the sun on my face, to smell fresh air. We can't get just that, can we?" The Cop was starting to say something, but he merely shook his head. "Don't. It's over." And with that he took the final step. As he fell, he looked up at the sky one final time, and imagined the bright light of the sun enveloping him…

…Bester had seen it coming, but he couldn't react fast enough. His hand reached out to hold the Blip, but all he managed to grasp was empty air. Taking a deep breath, he briefly closed his eyes. He didn't need to look down to know that the man had succeeded.

Jonathan Burke was finally free.