AN: ^^;; Haha, sorry about lack of update, I was on hiatus.... *runs away* Aiee! Sorry, no inspiration... But now there is! Due to one song, *laughs nervously* well you'll find out which one. ANYWHO *is brushing off topic* No more torturing Hitomi! *waves flag* At least, she won't feel too bad about Van and Aurelia because (no, not because she's over him, i'm not that evil ^_~).... Wait, read the story. ^_^ Muahaa... Please review!

Hitomi wrapped her blanket around her slender frame snugly as the cool, quiet air rang in her ears. Leaning against the smooth wall of her room, her cheeks damp from the tears she had cried, she allowed herself to bask in the remorse that had seemed to pick her as its newest victim.

"Here you go," Merle had said quietly as she entered Hitomi's room. The two young women met eyes, and a mutual pain struck through them. Hesitantly, Merle tossed Hitomi's track bag onto her bed, her hands trembling slightly.
"How...Did you..." Hitomi trailed off, confused as her hands brushed over the familiar smooth material of her bag.
"Doesn't matter," Merle replied bitterly, her blue eyes, for the first time Hitomi had ever seen, hopeless.
"I liked him, he was a good man," Hitomi said gently, and Merle nodded. They had sat in silence, each person reminiscing their precious moments with Darien. Russet brown eyes, a caring nature, a sort of wry sense of humor. A heart of gold.
"I loved him with all my heart," she said softly as she closed the door behind her, it clicking shut dryly.

Jade was right, Hitomi thought sorrowfully, the world is harsh and cruel. Darien didn't deserve to die. Not at all.

Darien had always taken the time to ask how Hitomi was, to make sure she was okay, to talk with her. No one else had done that since she returned, not Merle, not Allen, not Van.

Not anyone, Hitomi thought, a single fresh tear trailing down her face. Slamming her fist against the wall, Hitomi scolded herself slightly for being so depressed. What changed? she wondered. People had come and gone in her life, but she would take it in stride.

Happy Hitomi.

Now her green eyes were lifeless, her hair in disarray, her face pale and puffy from tears, bags haunting her eyes. Maybe I'm growing weak, Hitomi thought slowly. No. She refused to accept that. I'm in a new world. I'm just shaken. I will be strong again, she encouraged herself.

"Everything you have will be his," came a sudden, sharp hiss in her head, and a black carnivorous wolf soon clouded her vision, everything else slowly wiping out. With a nauseous nod everything finally turned to darkness and she collapsed to the ground.

***

Van lay on the soft mattress of his room, staring at the ceiling, the only sound his shallow breathing. A crisp knock on the door awakened him from his thoughts and he called for the person to enter.

"Jade?" he said as the warrior entered, still in her full leather armor. Stepping into his room through the rough doorframe, she exceeded confidence, a cockiness Van knew all too well, and a sort of lonely feeling that sobered you right up.

"Your Majesty, permission to speak freely," she bowed respectfully, her long ponytail sweeping over her shoulder as she kneeled on the smooth floor.

"Please, stand up, just call me Van. No titles," Van assured her kindly, and slowly Jade stood back up and stared at him. "Granted," Van sighed after realizing that she was waiting still.

"The Hybrids of the Dantele Empire...They're not to be underestimated."

"I realize that," Van replied, feeling that familiar twinge of guilt.

"I wish to begin military strategy tomorrow with you and the Knight Caeli," she stated, and Van nodded.

"Wish granted," he replied. Jade nodded, and an awkward silence rose. After a moment, Van caught Jade's steady gaze, "It hasn't been long since Gaea was basking in her peace... Sadness seems to like it here," he added almost bitterly.

"Well at least you have a wife to share your burdens with," Jade replied slowly, almost meaningfully.

"Not really," Van sighed, "We only finished the Principio stage, we aren't bound till all three stages are complete".

"Oh," Jade merely said, "I'm sorry," she apologized.

"It's alright," Van smiled weakly.

"I'm sure it was a beautiful wedding," she smiled, and Van nodded.

"It was," he replied softly, and he noticed Jade looking at him oddly.

"I know this is a bold question but," Jade started, her tone changing slowly as she spoke, "Do you still love Hitomi?". Van's eyes darkened slightly, and he found himself flicking his gaze to the ground momentarily before returning his gaze to Jade's chocolate brown eyes. She said it so bluntly, so plainly.

"Hitomi's like a sister," he replied carefully.

"Huh," Jade replied shortly, "But was it not your love that saved Gaea?"

"It was our friendship, our mutual wish for a better place," Van stated, and Jade nodded as if she agreed.

"So your love is for Princess Aurelia of Porsetio?" Jade inquired, cocking her head slightly, her midnight hair still shining despite the dim lighting of Van's room.

"With all my heart," Van confirmed, and Jade studied him inquisitively.

Why does it look like she doesn't believe me? Van thought.

"So you do not care for Hitomi? Not in that way at all?" Jade pressed calmly, her brown eyes flickering.

"I'll never let you go"
"I'll never forget you Van, even when I'm an old lady..."
"I'm sorry, I was the one who didn't understand"
"I want you!"
"We can see each other any time, we just have to share a common feeling"
"The smell of grass... The smell of Van...Because I like you, Van"
"Hitomi...You came to save me".
"I don't want to see Van hurt"
"I'm doing just fine, Van"
"Allen proposed to Hitomi!?"
"Although I worry about you so much... Although I care about you so much... ...why won't you understand?"
"But if we stay together, I'd rely on you. I don't want to use your power for war."
"I'll protect--

Van dropped his gaze uncomfortably, his lips clamping shut subconsciously.

"Okay," Jade said slowly, "Well I am most sorry for interrupting you," she apologized as she bowed respectfully. For a moment she held his gaze, and seemed to look in his very soul.

"Goodnight Jade," he smiled after a moment, feeling uneasy as she continued to look at him.

"Goodnight," she finally replied. "By the way," Jade called over her shoulder before she left the room, "Hitomi's unconscious".

***

As the door of Hitomi's room thrust open, Van Fanel stumbled over to her, his eyes wide with fear.

"Get Millerna!" Van yelled as Jade stood coolly by the door, her arms crossed.

"On her way," Jade replied levelly, "Do you think I was stupid enough to talk to you all that while knowing Hitomi was dying?" she asked, almost daring him to say yes. She said the word 'dying' coldly, and Van felt his face heat with shame. Cradling Hitomi's cold form in his arms, a gentle tear falling onto her beautiful face, he carefully lay her down on the smooth ground of her room.

"Move out of the way, Van," Millerna instructed as she burst into the room, clad in her night robe and a night gown. Millerna placed two fingers on Hitomi's pulse and counted silently to herself.

"Her pulse has stopped," she said urgently, "And she's growing cold. She could be dead," Millerna muttered urgently, the last part to herself, however Van heard, and ice ran through him. "Why didn't anybody attend to this wound?" Millerna demanded suddenly.

"I...I...I didn't notice," Van muttered lamely, and he could see Millerna's eyes hardening slightly as she exhaled sharply. Loosening the bodice of Hitomi's gown slightly, Millerna placed her hands below Hitomi's ribcage in a locked position about to push when she suddenly let go. Van looked at Millerna, bewildered.

"You do this. Like last time," Millerna said almost reluctantly, nodding at Van with her violet eyes.

Like last time, his thoughts echoed.

"Please don't die on me..." he remembered praying desperately. He hadn't understood why he had cared so much, why he was feeling so hysterical. Not at the time. The day she went back to the Mystic Moon for good, he had then understood.

Taking in a sharp breath, Van looked down into her green eyes, vacant like they had been that time. She was so much more paler then she had been that day in Freid, the large cut on her collar bone brutal, dried blood staining the neckline of her gown. How could he have not noticed before?

"I'm sorry," he whispered to her face, his features twisting slightly. "I'm so sorry".

"Hurry Van!" Millerna yelled, snapping Van out of his state.

Locking his elbows, Van remembered. He listened to his wildly thudding heart beat, and began to steadily push right underneath Hitomi's rib cage.

"Come on.... Live!" Van whispered fiercely as Hitomi stared blankly at the ceiling, her lips parted slightly.

"Harder!" came Millerna's voice in his cloudy head, her voice reverberating off the sides of his head. Biting his lip slightly, Van kept pushing in time with his own heart, sweat collecting on his brow.

"Don't die on me, Hitomi," he pleaded, his voice cracking.

"What is this place?" Hitomi wondered as she wandered around.
The grassy field stretched beyond the horizon, up to the clear blue sky.

...It smells like him.

Hitomi's emerald green eyes panned her surroundings, and she noticed something in the distance, a boy. He seemed so sad. Approaching the small figure, Hitomi's heart stopped when she realized who it was.

Van.

Or at least, a younger version of him.

"Van?" she called out, the boy's head buried in his tucked knees. The boy reluctantly lifted his head, and gazed sadly at Hitomi. The remorse in his eyes cut through Hitomi like a knife, and she forgot about everything, about the Hybrids, about Aurelia. Only Van.
"Van, it's me, Hitomi, don't you recognize me?" she said softly. His expression didn't change.
"Hitomi, what are you doing here?"
"I d-don't know. What is this place?"
"Hitomi, you have to go back. You don't belong here. Not yet. Please go back."
"Van, I don't understand. I don't want to leave," her eyes filled with tears, "I want to stay with you."
Van's expression turned from sadness to desperation, "Hitomi, you can't stay here! Please go back. It's not your time yet!"
"My time..."
The truth hit her full force and her eyes went blank, "I'm...dead... That's it isn't it? I'm dead." Her mind went back, thinking what could have caused it, "I was alone...There was that voice...And then I fell..."
"You did," he nodded, "But you can still go back, you've got to hurry, there isn't much time left."
Hitomi lowered her head, and muttered softly, "I don't want to go back."
"What??!"
"I don't want to go back to that place."

Her family dying, Aurelia kissing Van, the wedding, that soldier's words, her collar bone being cut, Darien dying, Merle slapping Aurelia, Merle and Van fighting, the ship preparing to leave without her; all the images came back to her vividly.

"I hate it there, I don't want to be there anymore! I want to rest. I want to be here with you, where I don't have to think about all those awful things! Please let me stay, Van, please!"
Van cocked his head sadly at her, and shook his head, "Death is hard on us all, but it is most hard on those who are left behind". He looked up into the sky and a frightened voice filled Hitomi's ears.
"HITOMI! Don't die on me! Hitomi! I'm so sorry!"
"Van..." Hitomi whispered and closed her eyes, "I wanted to make you happy. I never wanted to hurt you... But... But you hurt me".
"Then will you go back to him now? Or let him believe for the rest of his life that he was too powerless to save you? He will never forgive himself for this, Hitomi, and he will never forget it. You can change all that by going back to him, but you also have to want to go back."
Hitomi moved her eyes to the horizon, "But he doesn't love me. I'm afraid....I'm afraid he doesn't care," she sobbed, her green eyes moving back to the young Van. "Van, I'm so lost."
The young boy sighed, "You have to have faith, faith in that everything will be alright. Believe in fate. Believe in destiny. Believe in love."

Hitomi threw her arms around the young boy, "I believe in you, Van."

"Hitomi..." Van choked as he kept pumping. His arms were sore, and there hadn't been any sign of life at all. Dread pounded in his head, his throat thick with emotion. "Please...If you come back, I swear by the gods I'll never leave you to fight alone," he prayed silently, his strong arms steadily pumping, though extremely weary. Suddenly her green eyes fluttered open, and she choked, her back arching as she gasped for air.

"She's alive!" Millerna cried in relief, and Jade's features relaxed slightly. Scooping his hands under the space her arched back provided, Van brought Hitomi towards him as she cried into his shirt.

"We have to keep her warm, and let her sleep, make sure she has fluids and eats," advised Millerna, and Jade caught Van's gaze.

"Perhaps the King should watch over her for tonight," she suggested, and Millerna nodded, looking at Van.

"Would you like to, Van? I can if you like..." she began, but Van shook her off with a wave of his hand.

"I'll do it," he replied, and he turned his attention back to Hitomi.

"I'm sorry for not being there for you," he whispered, and he hugged her shaking form. Using his free hand to stroke the crown of her head, he carried her onto her bed, and wrapped a blanket around her as she clung to his neck. As he was about to lower her head down onto her pillow, he felt something jerk around him as she said something before falling asleep, her blonde tipped eyelashes fluttering shut.

"I believe in you, Van".

AN: *hides and runs away, hides under rock* Okay, the song that inspired me was...."This I Promise You", yes an N Sync song but STOP! GYAH! I was in the biggest rut, I was on hiatus for crying out loud until I found inspiration, and what do you know? That song comes on in the supermarket, and I hear "Visions around you, bring tears to your eyes," and I'm thinking Hitomi! So Please, Don't slaughter me! It's not that bad a song! Oh, and please review ^_^ The next chapter will have a nice hoard of V/H MOMENTS, not fluff, can't have that now can we ^_~ Then some military planning... And then some lovely scenes with our cuddly wuddly favorite empire! ^^ So read and review! Your reviews are greatly appreciated, they're like food for authors, keep them going ^_~

-CxV