To harass you all, I want you to know in this story a evil toilet (not evil as in possessed, but evil as in horrible) plays a significant role. Can anyone guess how? Also, so do Eskimo kisses, but being politically correct, I suppose I should call them innuit kisses. And a third thing, I'm worried, because I got a review that asked me if this was supposed to be a parody. Am I making it too stupid? I'm really freaked out it's too stupid. Enjoy chapter4 part b.

OH, ONE NASTY WORD WHEN HARRY HAS A BIT OF A TEMPER TANTRUM. (I thought you should know.)

LOL, I'M READING IT OVER ONE LAST TIME, AS IT TURNS OUT, THERE ARE A FEW NASTY WORDS. Sorry, but when I get mad, I swear, so harry automatically does too.

Fuzzy bumpkins-thanks for spreading the word

Saydee-you shall find out in this part.

Silversunn101- ice coffee. I'll try. Remember, I'm writing several chapters ahead, so it might not be in it for awhile, but it shall be.

Hee-chan2- thanks

Malfoy's kitten-nice name :D

Fixedinsanity- you love it, but you pointed out the errors. The way he talks might not fit with canon, but he does use a lot of interesting words in the story. In one chapter, I think it's 6, he actually gets into a fight with Hermione, and there vocabulary shines. Yeah I probably went a bit overboard with the niceness factor, but I wanted crabbe goyle and pansy to be nice for this chapter, and I had to think of why. And yeah, I don't think they're all evil.

The demon witch hunter-did you get my email? It has top ten written in subject title.

Signeus-did you like it? I'm assuming you did, cause you either had to like it or hate it to review, so I'm hoping it was the former.

Famous angel-wow. Yay, I got a wow!

Avvy kavvy-yes eevvvvillllll! No more pitchfork? Damn.

Rose of hel-you're exclamating, that's awesome, I love loud people! And you liked the chapter. Yay!

Ralna malfoy- I wanted it to be funny, but it's not like, this is so stupid funny is it? Is it funny, or is it ridiculous funny? Now I'm worried it's stupid. Shit, please tell me in your next review.

Green eyed dragon- read on to find out about gryffindors. Kristin, I'll remember that, but as I told silversunn101, I write a few chapters ahead, so it will be a few days before you see yourself in print.

Korianna- you acutally wouldn't mind reading this more then once? That's so cool. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Harry spent the night in the room, but by the morning had decided there was no point in letting other people scare him away. He marched down to the dining hall, fists clenched, ready to knock out anyone who said an off colour comment, and was shocked to hear what he heard.

"Harry! Where in the hell were you?" Ron bellowed.

"God's above you scared us when you didn't come sleep in the room. We thought you might have gotten hurt!" Dean yelled.

Hermione said nothing, she simply got up, and hugged him.

"Well, this certainly is a different reaction then I got yesterday."

"What are you talking about?" Neville asked.

"Well, I seem to remember Friday night, and no one talking to me, and me being forced to sleep outside of the dorm. Oh, or it could be Saturday, when I wanted to talk to you, and you guys purposely walked away from me. Or could it have been Saturday night, when the ever so brave Harry fucking Potter was actually scared to go back to the common room, because he didn't know how people would react. Did you know the Slytherins are treating Draco better then this? And they're supposed to be the evil house. Do you know that right now, I'd almost rather sit with the Slytherins then the Gryffindors, because I know they aren't as hypocritical as the Gryffindors? At least if they don't like me, they yell out rude shit about my parents. You, all of you, are complete bullshitters. Ron, 'oh Hermione, what do you mean seem gay, that's a stereotype there's nothing wrong with gay people' well, I guess there isn't, not until your friend is! And Seamus, you've kissed so many people, I'm willing to bet there was one guy in there. But because I actually like someone instead of just sleeping around, I'm bad. I just have one question. Is it me in particular, because I like Draco, or are you just all homophobic arseholes in general?"

"Harry, the next time you go on a rant, you might want to say it a bit louder. I'm not sure if the people in Hogsmede heard you." Ron commented.

Harry's eyebrows raised, he was apoplectic.

"You don't know all the facts Harry, but you will later today, so during dinner, you can tell us what you think of us." Dean added.

So much for getting apologies for them treating him badly. He began to walk back to the portrait of Dermot, but Draco pulled behind him. For a minute he didn't say anything, but Harry knew it was him, he smelled vaguely of bananas and peanut butter, he had smelled the same way when we had kissed last night.

"Hi Draco."

"You sound angry Loveling."

"Well, I am, but I'll get over it."

"Don't be a git. Supressing feelings isn't good. I should know, I had to do that my entire life. What are you incensed about?"

"Well, just how my house, and everyone in general is reacting to the fact they learned one small new fact about me. It shouldn't turn me into a new person. Damn Kaciela for telling everyone."

"Harry, relax. You might as well be damning me for leaving you flowers. You must know if Kaciela knows something, everyone will know something."

"It's just so bloody annoying."

"Don't worry, I've fixed it."

"Really? How? What could you possibly say to Gryffindor that I haven't, that will make them talk to me civilized. Or shit, it doesn't have to be civilized, but they're ignoring me, and I just want to do something insane, to get their attention."

"Is this about not talking to you much yesterday?"

"You know about that?"

"Harry, I'm afraid you don't know all the details."

"That's what Dean said! What the hell is going on here?" Harry shouted.

"Harry, we're going on a picnic. It's a lovely day."

"That's not an answer, that doesn't tell me-wait, what? Picnic? You?" Harry tilted his head, trying to jostle his brain into a reality where Draco having a picnic made sense.

"Yes me. Yes, picnic. Honestly, you're a hellicious buck, but you truly don't have a extensive vocabulary, do you? I can understand not knowing a lot of different words, I doubt your muggle family taught you much, but 'wait, what? Picnic? You?' is not a proper sentence. If you can't even make a sentence, I'll expect you not to talk at all."

"Well, the only way I can not talk is to be kissing something at all times."

"Oh, that can be arranged." Draco leaned in for a kiss, and after their lips parted, Draco murmured "paradisiacal", while Harry said "excellent."

"Not bad, my hellicious buck. Now, off to the picnic. We just have to stop by the kitchens to get the basket, it's specially made for us, and then we're off."

"How did you know you'd need a basket? How'd you know I'd agree."

Draco scoffed. "Like you wouldn't."

So they went and got a basket from a house elf, Harry had a sinking suspicion it was dobby, because though it didn't say anything, it had on mismatched socks, and wore a tea cozy on its head.

When they got out onto the grounds, Draco laid out a blanket. Sitting on it, Harry asked, "Satin?"

"What, you don't expect me to give up my silky sheets for that horrendous tacky red and white checked stuff, do you?"

Harry laughed and shook his head. "No, I guess I don't."

He took the towel off the top of the basket. "This is a very us appropriate basket."

"Huh?"

"Well, you were upset, you thought no one liked you anymore, so I owled all your friends, and asked them to make a dish that would be appropriate for a picnic, and would symbolize them, if they thought our relationship was fine. that's where everyone was yesterday, they weren't ignoring you, they were baking. And shopping too, I suppose. Some of these are highly creative, and wouldn't be found in the kitchens."

Harry looked at the almost full basket, and realised all his friends cared a lot about him, they weren't hypocrites at all. Then he remembered, "Ginny? Did you ask her too?"

"Harry, some people just won't ever like me. I'm sorry, but I couldn't talk her into making something. You saw her, she slapped me."

"It's ok, don't worry about her. She'll come along, she's used to hating you, she's just a Weasley. They're stubborn, but she'll come along eventually."

"Speaking of Weasley's…" he brought out several bottles of liquid. "Now, who do you think got us these?"

"Hmm, it says Odgen's Firewhiskey, and that other bottle is O'Ryan's wine. So, considering there would be no way you could owl Bill or Charlie in time, and Percy wouldn't give alcohol to minors, it would have to be from the twins."

"Ahh. But which one?"

"George?"

That would be a negative. Fred sent us. I never was one for whiskey, so would you mind drinking the wine?"

As Harry had never had either, and he knew Draco would have tried both at his manor, Harry agreed.

"I must say, you should recognise each person for the food they made or bought. If you don't, I know who did what, so I can give you a hand. This, it doesn't exactly fit with the wine and whiskey part of the meal, but it was the best he could do on short notice." he pulled out two bottles of Gatorade.

Harry thought for a second, before shrugging.

"No, well, think. I asked him what it had to do with anything, and apparently, a lot of football players drink it. Does that help?"

"Dean?"

"Yeah. We have 2 appetizers." He pulled out a can of soup, and with his wand, heated the bottom of it. He poured it into two bowls.

"Alphagettios? Who on earth would give us that?"

"Think my hellicious buck. Who is one of your friends that can be represented well by words and letters?"

"Hermione's idea of a romantic dish was Alphagettios?"

"No, I just said that it should be something to represent them. And honestly, with a name like Hermione being no help at all, she did pretty well."

They tried to spoon the soup into each others mouths, but every time Harry went to put some in Draco's he was reminded of feeding a infant, and he started laughing.

"Ok, the soup is a bust." Draco said after several tries. "Let's move on to a wonderfully prepared greek salad."

Looking at the lettuce and all the other greens and plants, Harry knew it could only be one person. "Neville?"

"First right answer of the day. I'm proud of you."

Harry tried to stick a forkful into Draco's mouth, only to start laughing again.

"Harry, I thought this would be a nice, romantic thing. But if you don't like it, then I don't see the point in it." he said, throwing the fork back onto the dish.

"No, Draco, I'm sorry, it's just, can we feed ourselves? I keep picturing you in a diaper, drooling and your hair wafting around like a baby, and I just can't help but laugh. I still care about you."

"Now that you mention it, it is rather funny to see Baby-Harry with spit up on your shirt." he looked at Harry a second, and started giggling.

"You giggle?"

"So, you snort."

"I do not!"

"Yes you do!"

"Whatever. So, do I have more then 4 friends?"

"Yes. Moving on to the main course, we have 2 meat dishes, and a seafood dish."

"Seafood?"

He pulled crab out of the basket. "Hmmm, now lets guess who gave us this."

Harry shook his head and pretended to be stumped. "I just don't know! It's so hard. I feel so dumb for not knowing."

He leaned forward and pecked me on the forehead. "Oh, don't feel dumb, it was a really challenging question."

"The next, well, this basically ruins it, but he said even though it looks like chicken, we're supposed to pretend it's Weasel."

"I thought Ron hated that nickname."

"Well, what can you do? It's the best food he could come up with. And the third, well, its one of the 2 I don't understand, maybe it's a private joke."

"What?"

"Well, I sent Lupin a letter, I knew you were close with him. I told him, and along with his food, he sent this. He said it's venison, you know, like deer."

Venison…deer…stag… "Oh, don't worry about it Draco, it's a long story."

"Harry, you look like you're going to cry."

"Are you sure he said it was because the person thought our relationship would be fine?"

"Yes, of course, I specifically outlined what the situation was and-" Draco stopped when he saw the tears roll down Harry's face. He crawled over the silk sheet to Harry's side, carefully putting his knee over the crab so he wouldn't get the juice on his robes. He hugged him tightly. "Harry, tell me what's the matter."

"Nothing, not if Remus thought he thought our relationship was ok."

"What's going on? I can't make you feel better, if you don't tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing's wrong. I wasn't sure if my parents would be ok with me, the way I turned out, and Remus, or Professor Lupin to you, I guess, basically just told me my dad would be fine with it, would still be proud of me."

"How could he not be? You're a wonderful person Harry. Simply spectacular. If anyone doesn't like you, they're-"

"Don't say it Draco, you're talking about my dad. I don't want to hear anything negative about my dad."

"Ok. So, do you want crab, 'weasel' or venison?"

"Crabbe actually cares about me?"

"Well, not as much, but he cares about me, and I'm in a relationship with you, right? So it's not as much for you as it is a approval of our liaison. And I'm thinking since he isn't the guy we knew, the guy we knew was Crabbe, maybe we should call him Vincent?"

"Pass me the chi-the weasel." Harry said laughing.

So they ate, and they ate, until Harry was full of Vince's, Ron's and his father's approval.

"Now, for the best part."

"What?"

"Why, desert, I thought it would be palpable."

"Well, it might be palpable, if I knew what that meant."

"It isn't self explanatory what palpable means? I thought it was rather clear."

"Draco, I wasn't raised to think I was smart. Giving me a lot of language wasn't part of the Dursley's plans."

"I understand. I'll try to speak more plebeian."

Harry raised his eyebrows and Draco said "You don't know plebeian either. Lords above. Um, ok, where this conversation was going, was we now have desert. This is where a lot of your friends decided to go, I guess it's more romantic to feed each other a piece of pie, then a slab of steak. Though, the whole feeding each other didn't work out very well, did it."

"So, I have a few deserts to eat then?"

"A few? Try 7."

"How can I possibly eat 7 deserts?"

"Imagine how it would be if I had caught you after you ate your breakfast. Well, I'm not quite sure what Seamus gave me, but I assume you understand it, so I'll just give you it."

He got out a cellophane bag, and poured what looked like cereal into bowls. Harry looked closely at the cereal, and noticed it had colours in it. He peered closer, and saw green clovers, blue moons, pink hearts, red balloons, purple horseshoes, yellow moons, orange stars, rainbows, and pots of gold. He picked out a blue moon, and tasted it. "I think its marshmallow."

"Alrighty." Draco said, and started picking out all the green clovers and eating those.

"Are you doing that on purpose?"

"Huh? Oh, green. No, I eat a muggle candy called ***smarties the same way, I split them into colours and eat all of one colour."

After they both eat a bunch of the marshmallow bits, well, Harry ate them all, Draco only had time to finish the green clovers and the purple horseshoes when Harry said, what's next?"

"Um, we have another silly thing, but you should be able to guess who made it."

He pulled out a plate of twinkies with liquorice in them.

"Well, I guess they're muggle born, since they have access to twinkies."

"Wrong! Huh, weird, you're usually never wrong, you're brilliant. Come on, you can get this."

"Ok, well, if they aren't muggle born, then they went shopping in a muggle place?" Harry guessed.

"Maybe you can't tell what they are. It might help to know that black liquorice stuck out the top of a twinkie, I think you called them, is supposed to represent a firecracker." Draco smiled.

"The twins!"

"Well, George to be exact, Fred got us the alcohol, remember?"

"Have you ever had a twinkie?"

"No, Neal's family liked health food, and I wasn't able to sneak off that often anyway. I haven't had much muggle snacks."

Well-" Harry pulled the strand of liquorice out, "it's rather fun to eat like this."

In one fowl swoop, his aptitude for Quidditch apparent as he was extremely fast, he smushed the cream filled cake in the rough direction of Draco's mouth. Draco started coughing, and spitting the part that was in his mouth into his hand, he said "You eat them like this?"

"Yeah, and don't spit it out. It's good, full of unhealthy preservatives. Swallow it!"

Draco popped the rather spitty cake back into his mouth. He swallowed and said "You're right, it is good. Why don't you have some?"

Harry anticipated what Draco was going to do, but let him do it anyway. Draco grabbed a twinkie and shoved it in Harry's face. Harry grabbed for the plate in the picnic basket, and pulled out another twinkie, and rubbed the cream over Draco's cheeks. Draco, trying to get away, leaned back into the empty bowls of cereal and soup. He murmured the same spell he had days earlier, and everything on the blanket except the picnic basket full of twinkies flew and hovered in the air about 10 feet.

They were wrestling on the smooth silk blanket, trying to make the other the messiest, rolling on each other, accidently getting cream on their robes, and in each others hair.

Then Harry got the advantage. He had Draco pinned to the blanket legs straddling his hips, arms pressing his elbows down. Harry started to reach for a cake, then realised how this must look. Then he decided he didn't care, if a couple couldn't enjoy the simple pleasure of shoving baked goods into each others faces, what good was it to spend time together?

He mashed it on Draco's nose, then smeared the cream all over his face. Then he got an idea. Before Draco could get the upper hand again, Harry grabbed a liquorice strand, and started to draw in the cream.

"What are you doing?" Draco asked, struggling to sit up.

"I'm drawing. And stop squirming, you'll ruin it, and I'll have to collapse on your chest to make you not move, and you may think I look light, but I can be pretty heavy if I want to be."

"Fine fine. Go ahead." Draco laughed, thinking of Harry, who was only slightly over a hundred pounds, trying to be heavy.

Harry lay on Draco for a few minutes, drawing spirals and smiley faces. He wiped the cream near his ears onto the front part of his cheekbone with the back of his hand, the way you would smooth out sand with your bare feet. After he drew hearts with the liquorice, he had a wild idea to trace the hearts with his tongue, but he couldn't. Not unless Draco said it was ok, because to Harry it seemed insane, and Harry knew he wouldn't ask. 'Draco, could I lick your face?' um, no. Not going to happen.

Instead he bit one end of the liquorice, and remembering an old movie Dudley had watched as a kid, stuck the other end in Draco's mouth.

Draco's tongue pushed it to the side of his mouth, and he asked "But why would I eat the same piece you are? We're both only going to get half, and what if our teeth- oh… I see." he nibbled on his end, and Harry nibbled on his, until they met in the middle.

After they had devoured most of the strings, Harry looked around for something to wipe his and Draco's faces with. Seeing nothing, he thought he would have to wipe all the cream and mashed cake off with their robes, and he knew Draco wouldn't dirty his. Harry thought frantically, trying to remember if the old clothes of Dudley's had holes in them. He knew the extremely baggy pants didn't, but the greyish wife beater might.

But before he could strip (an-snicker, tries to remember what she rated this, oh, right, pg13, damn, well, I'll have to stop thinking like that) Draco combed the food off Harry's face with a rough edged cookie, then popped it into his mouth. "Ummm, this is delectable. You should try it." he said.

Harry got out a cookie, and bit into it. "You're right. Who gave me these?"

"Oh, it was the other private thing I didn't understand. Lupin sent these too, said you would understand because of the shape."

Harry took a closer look at the cookies. They were dog bone shaped.

"Harry, you're crying again."

"I'm sorry Draco, I'll explain later, I promise, but I don't want to talk about it now."

"That's fine. I must say though, between the cookies and the meat, Professor Lupin can really cook."

After the cookies were about half finished, Draco stopped Harry. "Wonderful, I know, but there are several more treats, and we want to be able to try them all."

He pulled out a box of something out of the basket, which, by now Harry was sure was a bottomless container. It must have been to fit ten+ dishes.

"What are those?"

"Well, I don't know how good they'll taste, but it was the thought that counts, you know."

"The more people that are ok with me and you the better. I don't care if the food is good or not, it's what the food stands for that matters."

Opening the lid of the box, and showing Harry what was inside, Draco commented, "Guess who these are from."

Looking at the flowers coated in icing sugar, Harry asked "Pansy?"

"Yeah. Apparently some types of flowers are edible. Care to try? I promise even if they taste bad, they won't be poisoned. She wouldn't do that, and she wouldn't have had time to, not with all the other people in the kitchens too."

They both tried some of the beautiful sugared blossoms, and moved on.

"This isn't his fault. His name means nothing, and he wanted to stick by me and fend off people like Ginny, so he didn't have time to work on anything either. He still got us something."

"Goyle got me chocolate? That's fine. I love honeydukes chocolate."

A bit later.

"What are those? Chocolate covered hockey pucks?"

"Hockey?"

"Oh, yeah, sorry, a muggle game. What are they though, I don't recognise them, Dudley must not have liked them." Harry started to laugh at the ludicrous idea of Dudley not liking a type of junk food.

"Well, they're called moonpies. They are, of course, from Lupin, who else does the moon mean anything significant to?"

Next Draco pulled a odd looking cake out. He also pulled out a muggle cooking implement out of the basket, and looked at it like he wasn't sure it was going to work. He flicked a switch, and a flame shot out the tip.

"Draco, why in the earth do you have a flame thrower?" &&

"It's not a flame thrower, it's a fire starter, and he said it would work better then a fire spell would." he took the fire starter and put it to the cake.

"What are you doing? Don't set my cake on fire!"

"It's supposed to be set on fire. It's called Baked Alaska. Blaise said it tasted good, and said it was very representative of his name."

They both tried it, but weather Blaise was a bad cook, or Draco burnt it too much, or it just was a nasty dish and Blaise had odd tastes, both Harry and Draco could only stand one bite. Harry barely swallowed, and Draco who was more picky, spit it out. They both washed down the taste with more of O'Ryan's Wine.

"And the piece de la resistance is-" Draco pulled out a circular cake with bright yellow icing on it. Out of either side stuck 2 feathers.

"Is that supposed to be?" Harry started to ask.

"Look at it." Harry looked closer at the top when Draco put it onto the silk blanket. On it, in red icing, spelled out were the words; Ron Kaciela Mab Andrew Jack.

"See, your entire quidditch team supports you."

"They're not my Quidditch team, they're Mab's. And Ginny didn't sign."

"Well, didn't you say earlier she'll get over it? And besides, you gave Mab the position, it was supposed to be yours. Try it, but don't eat the feather, I don't want to take you to Pomphrey."

They both ate several pieces of the cake, then draco stacked all the dishes in the bottomless basket. On the way back to the castle, draco said, "if you see him, thank Hagrid."

"Why?"

"Well, he gave you something too, he called them rock cakes, but frankly, they looked dangerous, so I threw them out. But thank him, because as we said with Greg and Pansy, it's the thought that counts, right?"

"I'll see you later."

"Until then, my hellacious buck."

"What does that mean? because, though I like the fact I have a nickname, it sounds like I'm some sort of evil cow."

"No, not at all, hellacious is awesome, and buck is person. So I said, until then, my awesome person."

"Oh, ok then."

** I actually do this. I'm sort of obsessive compulsive, and along with making sure I have the same amount of bites on each side of my mouth every time I eat, I also sort things according to colour or size, and have all the same at the same time. If I miss a green, I can't eat it, I have to give it to someone else.

&& lordy, what I could do with a flamethrower. Hehe. Get rid of all the jocks that wouldn't shut up when we were taping our skit at school. Oh yeah, really cool to yell out penis and make farting noises. You grade 12 jocks are so mature.

And I hope I change the meaning of twinkies for all of you. Someone once wrote a story involving jello, and now I can't eat it, cause I start laughing every time I look at it. Please review, I love you all, but I especially love the reviewers. If you want a object to be put in, I shall try.