Yet another chapter of BSG as seen through the eyes of their Chief Medical
Officer. My characters have officially taken over this fan fiction and
demand it be called a romance. How come none of you other writers warned
me about this! BSG characters belong to Glen Larson and Ron Moore. The
Lenna Dell was created by Crys and is now all mine! Special thanks to Lona
who somehow manages to take my drivel and turn it into a story with her
corrections and suggestions.
Chapter 6: Starbuck & The Death of Coffee
I am sitting in my office reading a request to appear before a colonial government committee in order to consider my nomination for Fleet Surgeon General. Our civilian government has decided that we need a selection of candidates for the job. I have no problem with that, but none of the excellent physicians on the Dell have been nominated and my name is only on the list because, rumor has it that the Commander "went to bat for his girlfriend" and insisted. How sweet. Forget the fact that if this was my office at Picon Fleet, the walls would be covered with my degrees, and that I have a long list of publications. Well they can kiss my coffee grinder.
I spare a glance for my coffee grinder that sits forlornly on the shelf. Yes, the Dark Ages have arrived. Civilization, as we know it no longer exists. The color has been taken from my world. All my personal stash is gone, and there is no more instant. We Have No Coffee!
I had searched for days; looking in all my usual places where I would hide a backup bag, frack even instant would have been welcomed. No luck. When I could no longer deny that horrible truth, I went into mourning, and locked my favorite coffee mug away, not to be used again until coffee is returned to me. I wanted to put up some black crepe around the Life Station; however, Cassie and Mark convinced me it would not be good for patient morale.
I would love to say I stood my ground and did not give up my principles of drinking only the real thing, but I am a caffeine addict and I need my fix. It was my staff who eventually forced me to start drinking the synthetic protein coffee substitute. It seems that I was getting "intolerable", so they all sat me down and said either I get back on caffeine or they all walk out. I wonder if Bill had a hand in this ultimatum. I'm sure the synthetic protein coffee substitute is recycled dishwater with coloring added, and plan to get a sample and test it.
I remember happier, simpler times, like the day Chief Tyrol returned my coffee grinder.
Cassie and I were in my office going over inventory. She is tall, with long blonde hair and green eyes, and one of the best medical techs I have worked with. There was a commotion in the main Life Station Area. As we exited my office we saw several staff surrounding a very embarrassed Chief Tyrol. The staff was treating him like the next High Lord of Kobol. I opened my mouth to speak when I saw what he is held in his hands. My coffee grinder! I was about to run over to him when I caught movement from the corner of my eye.
What happened next will forever be seared into my brain, as Cassie wrapped her arms around the Chief, dipped him back and proceeded to kiss him on the mouth for a good minute and a half. (Mark and I timed it.) WOW, who knew she was that strong? It would have been funny to watch his arms flail around if he had not been holding my coffee grinder in one of his hands.
When she finally released him, the Chief was really red and backed away from Cassie like she had turned into a Cylon. He really started to look scared as I approached him and he was keeping an eye on the entrance. I was not sure if he was planning an escape or if he was hoping Lt. Valerii would come along and rescue him from this madhouse. Little did he know that I had been, "rather testy" while my grinder was out of commission, and my staff had taken the brunt of my frustration. Well, them and Bill, ahh, I mean the Commander.
The last thing the Chief said before he almost ran from the Life Station was, "Doctor, I think you are an amazing physician. Permission to speak freely?"
"Why thank you, Chief. Sure go ahead." I hardly gave him a glance as I gazed at my coffee grinder. I was so happy. I wanted to test the grinder right then and there!
"You are a lousy mechanic, sir. Never touch the insides of that machine again. Any problems, you bring it straight to me. That is an order." You know the Chief has a pretty good "Command Stare", but he is still in the minor leagues compared to the real thing.
Oh, I did try to discuss the Chief's fraternization issue with Bill, but he had already known about Chief Tyrol and Lt. Valerii. While he has made no formal statement, the general word is that relationships are ok as long as they do not interfere with performance and the individuals are not in positions to evaluate each other.
After Chief Tyrol's repair job, my coffee grinder worked even better than before. Those were the good days. I probably should not admit this, but at night, I dream about coffee, fresh hot coffee, with cream, real cream.
********************************************
There is a commotion in the Life Station. I sigh and put down the government request. Anything has got to be better than this bureaucratic felgercarb, or my current coffee deprived thoughts.
As I enter the main examination area I see the cause of the commotion. Lt. Kara Thrace, "Starbuck" is giving Mark a hard time. This should be interesting. I walk over to the exam table and put in my two cubits.
"Is there something I can help with?"
Mark and Starbuck are glaring at each other. I have to say the look Starbuck is giving my colleague would melt lesser men. However, Mark has worked with me too long and has unfortunately picked up several of my bad habits. He not only fails to spontaneously combust, he is staring her right back. You go boy!
I get the details. It seems Lt. Thrace had to make emergency landing due to a problem that developed in her viper during patrol. That landing was "hard" and its fleet policy that any pilot who makes that kind of landing must be examined before returning to full flight status.
Since there is nothing I can do about government politics or coffee, I am glad to be able to solve this little problem. I walk up to Starbuck, look her straight in the eyes and say two words, "Flight status." I return to my office and Starbuck graciously allows Mark to examine her.
Perhaps I should explain the meaning behind those two words. When I first arrived on Galactica, Starbuck and I did not get off on the right foot. Even now our relationship, if you want to call it that, is considered one of grudging respect. I respect her flying abilities as the ACE pilot among the viper squadrons, and she grudgingly acknowledges my power to medically revoke her flight status. It is probably not the healthiest of relationships, but it has worked for us, so far.
Our first meeting was the one that set the tone. It happened before the Cylon attack. She had managed to miss her yearly physical appointment for the tenth time. The original CMO had been somewhat lax in his crew physicals. I was having a bad day trying to catch up on all the work he left behind. I decided that enough was enough. Before I began my slow walk down to the pilots' rec room, I made sure to memorize Starbuck's face from the photo in her medical file. From the threshold I could see Starbuck at a table-playing Pyramid with her fellow pilots, and smoking a cigar.
I walked into the room and cleared my throat, giving everyone my best "Medical Attending" stare. What do you know? Not only does it work on medical staff, but on pilots too. I filed that thought away. Everyone jumped to attention as someone stated, "Officer on deck." I had a stray thought cross my mind. How come no one jumps to attention when I enter the Life Station? Oh, well. I walked further into the room. Everyone, including Starbuck, stood at attention as I had not given the at-ease command. She was wearing her regulation fleet tee shirts, dog tags, and duty pants. I walked over to her and stood at her side. She was staring straight ahead.
My voice was even and without a hint of emotion. "Lt. Thrace, is there any reason why you missed your appointment in the Life Station today?"
"No, sir." She replied, still staring straight ahead.
"I see, Lieutenant. Thank you for your time."
I turned and left. It was not until the next day that the daggit do-do hit the fan. There was a not-unexpected commotion in the main Life Station Area. It was a rather furious Lt. Thrace accompanied by the now-dead former CAG, Capt. Jackson Spencer. His call sign, I believe, was Ripper. He was holding her back from hitting me.
She was almost screaming. "You revoked my flight status?"
She may have been furious, however, I did not back down. I have had to face things a lot scarier that Lt. Thrace in my life. I stared her down giving her my "cool brown eyes that say nothing", and reply in an even voice. "Yes, I have, Lieutenant."
"But why? I'm in perfect health." She was looking more frustrated than angry now. Capt. Spencer must have realized the threat was past, because he let go of her, but stayed close by if his "help" should be required again. From the corner of my eye I caught the Commander coincidently wandering into the Life Station. The man must have spies everywhere.
"I don't recall a medical degree in your file, Lt Thrace. I do see that you have managed to miss all your yearly physical appointments. Since I cannot be sure that you are in 100% good physical condition, I cannot in good conscience let you fly. For all I know, you could be pregnant." I watched her eyes widen and as look of shock came over her face with that statement. Before she could speak I continued, "My order will stand until such time as you have had a complete physical exam. Oh, and don't bother trying to go over my head to get reinstated until said exam is over. It won't work." I gave the CAG and the Commander significant eye contact with a look that dared them to try before I turned and reentered my office. Needless to say, I got my way.
I shake myself back to the present. I am in somewhat of a quandary about Starbuck. I know Bill has a soft spot for her. He respects her as a pilot, and considers her part of his family. I only recently found out from Bill that she had been engaged to his youngest son, Zac Adama. I have a feeling the current impasse between myself and Starbuck cannot continue given the common man in our lives. Knowing Bill, I doubt he will let it continue for much longer before he intervenes. Lords help us.
I again wonder if Starbuck and Lee are more than friends. As I have said before, they are close. Remember, Kylen, people in glass houses should not be throwing stones, and right now you are surrounded by windows on all four sides.
*********************************************
It is the evening and I am dining alone. I have already met with the government committee regarding my consideration for Fleet Surgeon General. I may be wrong, but I get the feeling they have someone else in mind for the job. I only hope he or she will put the medical welfare of the fleet first and not their political career. I sigh. It seems Bill is in a meeting with President Roslyn. Despite my best efforts, everything seems a little duller without him around. No coffee and now no Bill. Can it get any worse?
A shadow falls across my table, and I look up to see Lt. Thrace. She is holding a tray.
"Mind if I join you, Doctor?" Hmm, this IS a surprise. I am curious as to why she wants to sit with me.
I decide to take her up on her peace offering. "Please do, Lt. Thrace, and call me Kylen off duty."
Her eyes widen in surprise as she sits down, but then she continues, "Call me Kara or Starbuck."
Ok, I can do that. "So Starbuck, what brings you over here? You usually sit with the other pilots or with Lee Adama. Is he busy?"
She sighs, "Lee is tied up in the same meeting that the Commander is in. I would have sat with the squad, but sometimes I get tired of all the questions and speculation about Lee and myself. I mean they're my friends and all but it gets old after a while. I thought this would be a safe place to sit since you are alone."
I would really love to ask about her and Lee but after her opening statement, decide to hold off, and instead begin with a more general topic. "The Commander speaks very highly of you, Starbuck. He says you're the best pilot he's ever seen. High praise from him. From what I understand, he was considered one of the best when he flew."
She seems a little uncomfortable, then speaks, "The Commander also speaks highly of you, Kylen."
Interesting, Bill has been discussing me with Starbuck. Hmm, I begin to see Bill's devious hand in this. "So the Commander talked to you about me? How did that particular conversation start?" I am giving her my best "Medical Look of Disbelief" as I say this.
She looks a little embarrassed, gives a sigh and finally blurts out, "The Commander was talking with me the other day, and well, he's been aware of the tension between us and recommended that I should get to know you better."
This does not surprise me; I knew Bill was aware that Starbuck and I had some issues between us. I knew he would eventually do something about it. I just miscalculated how soon he would act. Devious bastard, but sweet.
She looks at me, and I can see she wants to ask a question but is holding back.
"Go ahead, ask away." I say with a wave of my hand. She is surprised but takes me up on my invitation. "Kylen, what's going on between you and the Commander? I've heard a lot of rumors, and you two spend a lot of time together. That is, if you don't mind my asking?" Hmm, unless I'm way off, it seems Starbuck has been doing some off-hours recon regarding the relationship between Bill and myself.
Now that is a loaded question. Yes, I normally would mind her asking about the Commander and me, but now that I know that Bill sees her as an extended family member, and given the effort she is making I will answer her queries.
I keep my voice low, aware that we are in the mess hall. Even though no one is sitting anywhere near us, walls sometimes have ears. "That is a difficult question, Starbuck. If you want to believe the rumors, then the Commander and I are in an intense romantic relationship and only my skills as a doctor save him from sure death from our sexual exploits." I can see I have shocked her but I continue. "If you want the truth, then the Commander and I are close friends who enjoy some similar interests, and spending our off time together. Where it goes from there is anyone's guess." I hope that she doesn't pick up on the frustration in my voice when I said that last line.
While I was talking Starbuck has leaned forward in her seat. She keeps her voice soft as she speaks. "When I asked Lee, he said I should mind my own business." I must have reacted to that because Starbuck gives me a sharp look and asks, "What?"
I sigh and say, "Lee should be the last person telling anyone to mind their business since he was the first person to bring up that question to me."
Her eyes go wide then narrow. "That sneaky daggit. Frak, he had me fooled."
Since we are on the relationship theme, I decide to return the favor. I too have been doing some recon of my own. "Starbuck, do you mind if I ask what your relationship to Lee is? I've seen you both together a lot. I know I haven't had to patch you or your sparring partners up after a "match" lately. Your brig time is way below average, and I have heard rumors that you and Lee are involved." I watch as she looks down then returns her gaze to me, a slight blush is on her face.
"The other pilots have been getting on my case about how I get along with Lee, but, I didn't realize people outside the pilots' quarters would notice a change in my behavior too." Starbuck replies.
I look her in the eye and respond. "I'm not spying on you and Lee." At her look of disbelief I amend my previous statement. "What I mean is that as the CMO, my job is to look for and be aware of any problems with the crew before they become significant. I "notice" a lot, and not just about you and Lee. I also have a source who happens to know, and has an interest in both you and Lee. Look, I'm sorry. You don't have to say anything."
She is quiet for a minute then speaks, "Lee and I were in flight school together. We even roomed together for a while until Zac started at the Academy and I moved in with him. I've known Lee a long time. He's a good friend. One of the few I have left. I feel comfortable around him. He comes across as Mr By-The-Book, but there is a lot more to him. We have known each other for so long, it's like he knows what I am thinking before I do. He understands me and is comfortable to be around. Although lately..." she trails off and I have the impression she wants to say more.
We are two people who are trying to meet each other half-way. It seems to me that given whom our names are linked with, we probably should be best friends. "Look, I know we have had some differences in the past, but we now have some pretty big things in common, and by that I mean men whose last name happens to be Adama. If you want to talk, I'm a pretty good listener and I won't go chatting to everyone. I have enough problems with rumors not to go starting any."
"I've been hearing quite a few rumors about you two." Starbuck says with a grin as she settles back in her chair. "Some of them are pretty racy if you get my drift. To be honest, I think a lot of the females are jealous. As to what I believe, I think what you and the Commander do is your own business. I do know that you're good for him. Before you came along, I think the last time I really heard him laugh was, well a long time ago. Almost another life." She stops for a minute then gives a heavy sigh.
I look at her and I see a mirror of myself when I am trying to figure Bill out. "Look it may help you to talk about Lee."
She is not looking at me when she blurts out, "I sometimes think Lee may want us to be a little closer, you know, more than just friends."
I have seen the good captain around his best pilot and think she is probably right. "Well, even I can tell he enjoys spending time with you. He is usually a very controlled person. With you he lets some of his walls down. From what I have seen I think Lee values you not only as a pilot, but as a friend, a person he can talk to and not worry about how he perceived. He is still young for the CAG position. I can't believe I am saying this, but your relationship, whatever it is, gives him support, it helps him deal with all his new responsibilities. It's not totally unheard of for people to go from friends into a more intimate relationship."
"Sex ruins relationships." That is a very telling statement. Bill had said Starbuck and Zac had got along well. She had taken his death hard. I wonder if there is more to that story or if she had a bad experience with a different man.
I give a sigh then say. "It can. It can also bring a friendship to a different level. I'm probably not the best person to talk to about relationships. Lords know the closest I ever came to commitment was an engagement that lasted about three months."
She looks really curious at this tidbit of information and asks, "Why only three months?"
For a second I remember the hurt, but quickly leave that time in my life behind. In hindsight, I know that loser would have made me miserable. I just shake my head say, "Because I was a better surgeon than him."
Starbuck manages to look both shocked and angry at the same time as she exclaims, "Frak me!" Everyone in the officers' mess turns to look at us. She looks sheepish, then continues in a quieter voice, "Lee has his problems but he has never let our both being pilots interfere with being friends."
"Look, Starbuck, I think you can't put a present relationship into what happened in the past. Each time it's different. I am not trying to play matchmaker, Lords know I have enough emotional issues on my plate. However, you just may want to let things develop on their own and see where you end up. You may find the benefits out-weight the risks."
"How many emotional issues are on your plate?" Starbuck asks. "I can keep my mouth shut, too. I even promise not to tell Lee." She is leaning forward, her eyes are intent. From the way she picked up that one stray phrase, I think I see a little glimmer of the truly lethal weapon she must be in the cockpit of a viper.
I sigh and make a decision. If anyone has a clue about Bill, it has to be her. She has known him longer than I and is practically a part of his family. I could never picture me having this conservation with Lee.
I lean forward and start in a quiet voice. "While the Commander and I are good friends, I can't say I wouldn't mind being closer. For now he's the one running the show. I'm not pushing, but I find at times the rumors and the uncertainty are getting to me. I don't know how long I'm going to wait for him to decide." It feels good finally to tell someone all the things that I've been thinking.
She looks surprised that I could even consider telling the Commander to take a hike, or is it more that I want an intimate relationship with him? "Wow! You would leave him? Why? Where would you go?"
"There are some people who can have a relationship and be good friends when it breaks up. I am not one of those people. I would resign my commission and take a medical position on the Lenna Dell. It wouldn't be easy, but I would do it."
I know my own thoughts confuse me, now it seems they have confused Starbuck as well. She has that lost look when she replies, "But you said that you are both good friends and not romantically involved. So why leave?"
"Because, this whatever relationship I have with the Commander means something to me. If I drop it, I am going to need space to recover. It would be too hard seeing him everyday."
She thinks for a minute then comes to a decision and begins to talk. "The Commander is a hard man to read. His ex-wife always used to say that she had to guess what he was thinking. They were very close, but after Zac..." She looks sad and breaks eye contact for a second, then sighs and continues. "After Zac's death the Commander became more withdrawn and Ilyia seemed to become needier. Lee wasn't helping, first accusing his father of killing Zac, and then plain not speaking to him. Lee did keep in touch with his mother. I just stood there and watched it all go up in smoke. Both the Commander and Ilyia decided that their marriage wasn't working. He just couldn't give her what she needed. The divorce was amicable, and I know they kept in touch after it was final."
She is not telling me anything I do not already know about Bill, at least the bare facts that are in his records. But, he keeps a lot of things to himself. The information about what led to his divorce is concerning. If Bill really feels that he cannot share emotionally then I have no hope. I am in general not a needy person. There are times when I definitely need my space. Bill has always seemed to understand and respect that. I wonder if he likes the fact that I do not demand more attention. What a frak'n mess. I come out of my introspection. I decide to repeat my new mantra, "Be patient, Kylen".
I lean back in my chair and make an observation. "So from where I sit the picture is like this. I would like a closer relationship with the Commander, but he seems to prefer being friends. You would prefer to be friends, but Lee seems to want more than that. Can things get any more messed up? Oh yeah, no coffee." Starbuck chimes in, "No cigars."
We both laugh and salute each other.
"Adama men are never easy but they are interesting," says Starbuck with a smile on her face. I smile back. What do you know comrades in arms?
I am about to continue when I spot two familiar figures walking toward our table. From the look on both their faces I am sure they are they are concerned about what Starbuck and I have been discussing. We two conspirators share a glance.
Lee only has eyes for Starbuck, but Bill is staring at me with that intense gaze of his and speaks first, "What are you two talking about?"
Starbuck and I share another glance then I reply, "Would you believe men?"
"Anyone I know?" His expression can only be described as self-satisfied. Interestingly enough, Lee is wearing an identical expression.
"Do you know the assistant to President Roslyn? I believe his name is Billy something?" Both Lee and Bill wear identical expressions of surprise. Starbuck is just smiling. Ha! Got you. Of course, Bill recovers first. "Are you going to be here for a while? Mind if Lee and I join you?"
*************************************************
It's my birthday and I can say that it has been one of the best ever. No, it's not the best because I took a day off to spend on the pleasure ship having fun. I actually worked a steady twelve hours. And it's not because we had a big bash in the Life Station. Being the CMO does have advantages and in the ship records I have conveniently made my date of birth top- secret Level One clearance only. No one on my staff knows and I have done my best to keep today just like the others. I do not like big parties. That happened when I turned 40 and got an over-the-hill birthday cake, complete with black balloons. Yep, no big parties for me.
It's because Bill got me the best birthday gift. Ever.
It started earlier today when he asked me to come over to his quarters for some dinner after our shifts. When I asked why dinner in his quarters, he gave me the "Command Stare" and said, "I have top priority clearance. I know today is your birthday." Devious bastard. Let me amend that to sweet devious bastard.
In his quarters he had turned down the lights and there were candles on the table in front of the couch. Dinner was good. Real food not protein supplements. It would have been great except for the synthetic coffee. Lords, that even sounds wrong. Bill was, as always, an excellent dinner companion. It was over dessert that he handed me a box.
His look was intense when he handed me a small box about 2 inches wide by three inches long, wrapped in bright blue paper and tied with a yellow ribbon as he said, "Happy Birthday, Kylen."
I was surprised, but pleased he went to the trouble to get me something. The dinner alone was more than enough. Before I even opened the box I decided to be brave and gave him a soft kiss on his cheek saying, "Thank you. You really didn't have to, but I'm glad you did." I gave him a sly look with a smile and said, "Hmm, too small to be a book." We both laughed at that.
I gave the box a shake, but I heard no rattling. I tested its weight, and it felt light. Jewelry? Bill did not seem like a man who gives women jewelry. I held it up to the light to see if the wrapping was truly opaque. I knew Bill had reached the end of his tolerance when I very carefully began to untie the ribbon.
He looked exasperated, as he demanded, "Just open it, Kylen, you don't have to do an autopsy on it." If I didn't know better, I would have said he was nervous.
I opened my gift and looked at it in awe. I never would have guessed it in a million years. It was perfect. How he ever found something so rare and beautiful was beyond me. I felt tears enter my eyes. I was so overwhelmed I didn't know what to say.
I must have sat like that for a while because Bill's smile started to fade and he looked worried, like he had done something wrong. "I hope you like it. Not everyone would. I admit it's not much."
I knew he never expected my response, as I felt his startled reaction when I wrapped my arms around his neck and gave him a big kiss right on his mouth. His lips were firm and warm under mine. I will definitely have some good dreams tonight. I could have kissed him forever but finally pulled back. When I did, Bill looked completely shocked. I smiled and said, "It's absolutely perfect. This is the best birthday gift EVER. I have never received anything like it. This is ..." I was having a hard time putting my feelings into words. I watched a parade of emotions cross his usually unreadable face, to eventually settle on relief mingled with something I couldn't quite identify.
My best birthday gift ever was a small packet of instant coffee.
I still have no idea how he got it. I immediately made the coffee and split the cup with him. How romantic.
Now it is late and we are slow dancing to some music he has. I have already warned him about my lack of dancing talent. He told me, "If I can command the Galactica, I can take a risk dancing with you." Now I am in his arms my head resting on his shoulder.
I decide to ask the big question in my mind and pull back so I can look into his eyes. "How in all the Fleet did you manage to find coffee for my birthday?"
He is smiling and wearing a smug expression when he replies, "I have my methods. Let's just say I called in a few favors."
I try and give him a good "Medical Stare of Disbelief", but am too happy to put much effort into it. "I hope not expensive favors."
He pulls me back against him and I can feel his chuckles. "I'm not saying. The results were well worth the cost." Hmm, I wonder what that means.
We continue to slow dance. When I comment that he is a good dancer he says, "It's the boxing, keeps me light on my feet." We both laugh.
You know, on the whole it is my best birthday ever. Be patient, Kylen.
End
Chapter 6: Starbuck & The Death of Coffee
I am sitting in my office reading a request to appear before a colonial government committee in order to consider my nomination for Fleet Surgeon General. Our civilian government has decided that we need a selection of candidates for the job. I have no problem with that, but none of the excellent physicians on the Dell have been nominated and my name is only on the list because, rumor has it that the Commander "went to bat for his girlfriend" and insisted. How sweet. Forget the fact that if this was my office at Picon Fleet, the walls would be covered with my degrees, and that I have a long list of publications. Well they can kiss my coffee grinder.
I spare a glance for my coffee grinder that sits forlornly on the shelf. Yes, the Dark Ages have arrived. Civilization, as we know it no longer exists. The color has been taken from my world. All my personal stash is gone, and there is no more instant. We Have No Coffee!
I had searched for days; looking in all my usual places where I would hide a backup bag, frack even instant would have been welcomed. No luck. When I could no longer deny that horrible truth, I went into mourning, and locked my favorite coffee mug away, not to be used again until coffee is returned to me. I wanted to put up some black crepe around the Life Station; however, Cassie and Mark convinced me it would not be good for patient morale.
I would love to say I stood my ground and did not give up my principles of drinking only the real thing, but I am a caffeine addict and I need my fix. It was my staff who eventually forced me to start drinking the synthetic protein coffee substitute. It seems that I was getting "intolerable", so they all sat me down and said either I get back on caffeine or they all walk out. I wonder if Bill had a hand in this ultimatum. I'm sure the synthetic protein coffee substitute is recycled dishwater with coloring added, and plan to get a sample and test it.
I remember happier, simpler times, like the day Chief Tyrol returned my coffee grinder.
Cassie and I were in my office going over inventory. She is tall, with long blonde hair and green eyes, and one of the best medical techs I have worked with. There was a commotion in the main Life Station Area. As we exited my office we saw several staff surrounding a very embarrassed Chief Tyrol. The staff was treating him like the next High Lord of Kobol. I opened my mouth to speak when I saw what he is held in his hands. My coffee grinder! I was about to run over to him when I caught movement from the corner of my eye.
What happened next will forever be seared into my brain, as Cassie wrapped her arms around the Chief, dipped him back and proceeded to kiss him on the mouth for a good minute and a half. (Mark and I timed it.) WOW, who knew she was that strong? It would have been funny to watch his arms flail around if he had not been holding my coffee grinder in one of his hands.
When she finally released him, the Chief was really red and backed away from Cassie like she had turned into a Cylon. He really started to look scared as I approached him and he was keeping an eye on the entrance. I was not sure if he was planning an escape or if he was hoping Lt. Valerii would come along and rescue him from this madhouse. Little did he know that I had been, "rather testy" while my grinder was out of commission, and my staff had taken the brunt of my frustration. Well, them and Bill, ahh, I mean the Commander.
The last thing the Chief said before he almost ran from the Life Station was, "Doctor, I think you are an amazing physician. Permission to speak freely?"
"Why thank you, Chief. Sure go ahead." I hardly gave him a glance as I gazed at my coffee grinder. I was so happy. I wanted to test the grinder right then and there!
"You are a lousy mechanic, sir. Never touch the insides of that machine again. Any problems, you bring it straight to me. That is an order." You know the Chief has a pretty good "Command Stare", but he is still in the minor leagues compared to the real thing.
Oh, I did try to discuss the Chief's fraternization issue with Bill, but he had already known about Chief Tyrol and Lt. Valerii. While he has made no formal statement, the general word is that relationships are ok as long as they do not interfere with performance and the individuals are not in positions to evaluate each other.
After Chief Tyrol's repair job, my coffee grinder worked even better than before. Those were the good days. I probably should not admit this, but at night, I dream about coffee, fresh hot coffee, with cream, real cream.
********************************************
There is a commotion in the Life Station. I sigh and put down the government request. Anything has got to be better than this bureaucratic felgercarb, or my current coffee deprived thoughts.
As I enter the main examination area I see the cause of the commotion. Lt. Kara Thrace, "Starbuck" is giving Mark a hard time. This should be interesting. I walk over to the exam table and put in my two cubits.
"Is there something I can help with?"
Mark and Starbuck are glaring at each other. I have to say the look Starbuck is giving my colleague would melt lesser men. However, Mark has worked with me too long and has unfortunately picked up several of my bad habits. He not only fails to spontaneously combust, he is staring her right back. You go boy!
I get the details. It seems Lt. Thrace had to make emergency landing due to a problem that developed in her viper during patrol. That landing was "hard" and its fleet policy that any pilot who makes that kind of landing must be examined before returning to full flight status.
Since there is nothing I can do about government politics or coffee, I am glad to be able to solve this little problem. I walk up to Starbuck, look her straight in the eyes and say two words, "Flight status." I return to my office and Starbuck graciously allows Mark to examine her.
Perhaps I should explain the meaning behind those two words. When I first arrived on Galactica, Starbuck and I did not get off on the right foot. Even now our relationship, if you want to call it that, is considered one of grudging respect. I respect her flying abilities as the ACE pilot among the viper squadrons, and she grudgingly acknowledges my power to medically revoke her flight status. It is probably not the healthiest of relationships, but it has worked for us, so far.
Our first meeting was the one that set the tone. It happened before the Cylon attack. She had managed to miss her yearly physical appointment for the tenth time. The original CMO had been somewhat lax in his crew physicals. I was having a bad day trying to catch up on all the work he left behind. I decided that enough was enough. Before I began my slow walk down to the pilots' rec room, I made sure to memorize Starbuck's face from the photo in her medical file. From the threshold I could see Starbuck at a table-playing Pyramid with her fellow pilots, and smoking a cigar.
I walked into the room and cleared my throat, giving everyone my best "Medical Attending" stare. What do you know? Not only does it work on medical staff, but on pilots too. I filed that thought away. Everyone jumped to attention as someone stated, "Officer on deck." I had a stray thought cross my mind. How come no one jumps to attention when I enter the Life Station? Oh, well. I walked further into the room. Everyone, including Starbuck, stood at attention as I had not given the at-ease command. She was wearing her regulation fleet tee shirts, dog tags, and duty pants. I walked over to her and stood at her side. She was staring straight ahead.
My voice was even and without a hint of emotion. "Lt. Thrace, is there any reason why you missed your appointment in the Life Station today?"
"No, sir." She replied, still staring straight ahead.
"I see, Lieutenant. Thank you for your time."
I turned and left. It was not until the next day that the daggit do-do hit the fan. There was a not-unexpected commotion in the main Life Station Area. It was a rather furious Lt. Thrace accompanied by the now-dead former CAG, Capt. Jackson Spencer. His call sign, I believe, was Ripper. He was holding her back from hitting me.
She was almost screaming. "You revoked my flight status?"
She may have been furious, however, I did not back down. I have had to face things a lot scarier that Lt. Thrace in my life. I stared her down giving her my "cool brown eyes that say nothing", and reply in an even voice. "Yes, I have, Lieutenant."
"But why? I'm in perfect health." She was looking more frustrated than angry now. Capt. Spencer must have realized the threat was past, because he let go of her, but stayed close by if his "help" should be required again. From the corner of my eye I caught the Commander coincidently wandering into the Life Station. The man must have spies everywhere.
"I don't recall a medical degree in your file, Lt Thrace. I do see that you have managed to miss all your yearly physical appointments. Since I cannot be sure that you are in 100% good physical condition, I cannot in good conscience let you fly. For all I know, you could be pregnant." I watched her eyes widen and as look of shock came over her face with that statement. Before she could speak I continued, "My order will stand until such time as you have had a complete physical exam. Oh, and don't bother trying to go over my head to get reinstated until said exam is over. It won't work." I gave the CAG and the Commander significant eye contact with a look that dared them to try before I turned and reentered my office. Needless to say, I got my way.
I shake myself back to the present. I am in somewhat of a quandary about Starbuck. I know Bill has a soft spot for her. He respects her as a pilot, and considers her part of his family. I only recently found out from Bill that she had been engaged to his youngest son, Zac Adama. I have a feeling the current impasse between myself and Starbuck cannot continue given the common man in our lives. Knowing Bill, I doubt he will let it continue for much longer before he intervenes. Lords help us.
I again wonder if Starbuck and Lee are more than friends. As I have said before, they are close. Remember, Kylen, people in glass houses should not be throwing stones, and right now you are surrounded by windows on all four sides.
*********************************************
It is the evening and I am dining alone. I have already met with the government committee regarding my consideration for Fleet Surgeon General. I may be wrong, but I get the feeling they have someone else in mind for the job. I only hope he or she will put the medical welfare of the fleet first and not their political career. I sigh. It seems Bill is in a meeting with President Roslyn. Despite my best efforts, everything seems a little duller without him around. No coffee and now no Bill. Can it get any worse?
A shadow falls across my table, and I look up to see Lt. Thrace. She is holding a tray.
"Mind if I join you, Doctor?" Hmm, this IS a surprise. I am curious as to why she wants to sit with me.
I decide to take her up on her peace offering. "Please do, Lt. Thrace, and call me Kylen off duty."
Her eyes widen in surprise as she sits down, but then she continues, "Call me Kara or Starbuck."
Ok, I can do that. "So Starbuck, what brings you over here? You usually sit with the other pilots or with Lee Adama. Is he busy?"
She sighs, "Lee is tied up in the same meeting that the Commander is in. I would have sat with the squad, but sometimes I get tired of all the questions and speculation about Lee and myself. I mean they're my friends and all but it gets old after a while. I thought this would be a safe place to sit since you are alone."
I would really love to ask about her and Lee but after her opening statement, decide to hold off, and instead begin with a more general topic. "The Commander speaks very highly of you, Starbuck. He says you're the best pilot he's ever seen. High praise from him. From what I understand, he was considered one of the best when he flew."
She seems a little uncomfortable, then speaks, "The Commander also speaks highly of you, Kylen."
Interesting, Bill has been discussing me with Starbuck. Hmm, I begin to see Bill's devious hand in this. "So the Commander talked to you about me? How did that particular conversation start?" I am giving her my best "Medical Look of Disbelief" as I say this.
She looks a little embarrassed, gives a sigh and finally blurts out, "The Commander was talking with me the other day, and well, he's been aware of the tension between us and recommended that I should get to know you better."
This does not surprise me; I knew Bill was aware that Starbuck and I had some issues between us. I knew he would eventually do something about it. I just miscalculated how soon he would act. Devious bastard, but sweet.
She looks at me, and I can see she wants to ask a question but is holding back.
"Go ahead, ask away." I say with a wave of my hand. She is surprised but takes me up on my invitation. "Kylen, what's going on between you and the Commander? I've heard a lot of rumors, and you two spend a lot of time together. That is, if you don't mind my asking?" Hmm, unless I'm way off, it seems Starbuck has been doing some off-hours recon regarding the relationship between Bill and myself.
Now that is a loaded question. Yes, I normally would mind her asking about the Commander and me, but now that I know that Bill sees her as an extended family member, and given the effort she is making I will answer her queries.
I keep my voice low, aware that we are in the mess hall. Even though no one is sitting anywhere near us, walls sometimes have ears. "That is a difficult question, Starbuck. If you want to believe the rumors, then the Commander and I are in an intense romantic relationship and only my skills as a doctor save him from sure death from our sexual exploits." I can see I have shocked her but I continue. "If you want the truth, then the Commander and I are close friends who enjoy some similar interests, and spending our off time together. Where it goes from there is anyone's guess." I hope that she doesn't pick up on the frustration in my voice when I said that last line.
While I was talking Starbuck has leaned forward in her seat. She keeps her voice soft as she speaks. "When I asked Lee, he said I should mind my own business." I must have reacted to that because Starbuck gives me a sharp look and asks, "What?"
I sigh and say, "Lee should be the last person telling anyone to mind their business since he was the first person to bring up that question to me."
Her eyes go wide then narrow. "That sneaky daggit. Frak, he had me fooled."
Since we are on the relationship theme, I decide to return the favor. I too have been doing some recon of my own. "Starbuck, do you mind if I ask what your relationship to Lee is? I've seen you both together a lot. I know I haven't had to patch you or your sparring partners up after a "match" lately. Your brig time is way below average, and I have heard rumors that you and Lee are involved." I watch as she looks down then returns her gaze to me, a slight blush is on her face.
"The other pilots have been getting on my case about how I get along with Lee, but, I didn't realize people outside the pilots' quarters would notice a change in my behavior too." Starbuck replies.
I look her in the eye and respond. "I'm not spying on you and Lee." At her look of disbelief I amend my previous statement. "What I mean is that as the CMO, my job is to look for and be aware of any problems with the crew before they become significant. I "notice" a lot, and not just about you and Lee. I also have a source who happens to know, and has an interest in both you and Lee. Look, I'm sorry. You don't have to say anything."
She is quiet for a minute then speaks, "Lee and I were in flight school together. We even roomed together for a while until Zac started at the Academy and I moved in with him. I've known Lee a long time. He's a good friend. One of the few I have left. I feel comfortable around him. He comes across as Mr By-The-Book, but there is a lot more to him. We have known each other for so long, it's like he knows what I am thinking before I do. He understands me and is comfortable to be around. Although lately..." she trails off and I have the impression she wants to say more.
We are two people who are trying to meet each other half-way. It seems to me that given whom our names are linked with, we probably should be best friends. "Look, I know we have had some differences in the past, but we now have some pretty big things in common, and by that I mean men whose last name happens to be Adama. If you want to talk, I'm a pretty good listener and I won't go chatting to everyone. I have enough problems with rumors not to go starting any."
"I've been hearing quite a few rumors about you two." Starbuck says with a grin as she settles back in her chair. "Some of them are pretty racy if you get my drift. To be honest, I think a lot of the females are jealous. As to what I believe, I think what you and the Commander do is your own business. I do know that you're good for him. Before you came along, I think the last time I really heard him laugh was, well a long time ago. Almost another life." She stops for a minute then gives a heavy sigh.
I look at her and I see a mirror of myself when I am trying to figure Bill out. "Look it may help you to talk about Lee."
She is not looking at me when she blurts out, "I sometimes think Lee may want us to be a little closer, you know, more than just friends."
I have seen the good captain around his best pilot and think she is probably right. "Well, even I can tell he enjoys spending time with you. He is usually a very controlled person. With you he lets some of his walls down. From what I have seen I think Lee values you not only as a pilot, but as a friend, a person he can talk to and not worry about how he perceived. He is still young for the CAG position. I can't believe I am saying this, but your relationship, whatever it is, gives him support, it helps him deal with all his new responsibilities. It's not totally unheard of for people to go from friends into a more intimate relationship."
"Sex ruins relationships." That is a very telling statement. Bill had said Starbuck and Zac had got along well. She had taken his death hard. I wonder if there is more to that story or if she had a bad experience with a different man.
I give a sigh then say. "It can. It can also bring a friendship to a different level. I'm probably not the best person to talk to about relationships. Lords know the closest I ever came to commitment was an engagement that lasted about three months."
She looks really curious at this tidbit of information and asks, "Why only three months?"
For a second I remember the hurt, but quickly leave that time in my life behind. In hindsight, I know that loser would have made me miserable. I just shake my head say, "Because I was a better surgeon than him."
Starbuck manages to look both shocked and angry at the same time as she exclaims, "Frak me!" Everyone in the officers' mess turns to look at us. She looks sheepish, then continues in a quieter voice, "Lee has his problems but he has never let our both being pilots interfere with being friends."
"Look, Starbuck, I think you can't put a present relationship into what happened in the past. Each time it's different. I am not trying to play matchmaker, Lords know I have enough emotional issues on my plate. However, you just may want to let things develop on their own and see where you end up. You may find the benefits out-weight the risks."
"How many emotional issues are on your plate?" Starbuck asks. "I can keep my mouth shut, too. I even promise not to tell Lee." She is leaning forward, her eyes are intent. From the way she picked up that one stray phrase, I think I see a little glimmer of the truly lethal weapon she must be in the cockpit of a viper.
I sigh and make a decision. If anyone has a clue about Bill, it has to be her. She has known him longer than I and is practically a part of his family. I could never picture me having this conservation with Lee.
I lean forward and start in a quiet voice. "While the Commander and I are good friends, I can't say I wouldn't mind being closer. For now he's the one running the show. I'm not pushing, but I find at times the rumors and the uncertainty are getting to me. I don't know how long I'm going to wait for him to decide." It feels good finally to tell someone all the things that I've been thinking.
She looks surprised that I could even consider telling the Commander to take a hike, or is it more that I want an intimate relationship with him? "Wow! You would leave him? Why? Where would you go?"
"There are some people who can have a relationship and be good friends when it breaks up. I am not one of those people. I would resign my commission and take a medical position on the Lenna Dell. It wouldn't be easy, but I would do it."
I know my own thoughts confuse me, now it seems they have confused Starbuck as well. She has that lost look when she replies, "But you said that you are both good friends and not romantically involved. So why leave?"
"Because, this whatever relationship I have with the Commander means something to me. If I drop it, I am going to need space to recover. It would be too hard seeing him everyday."
She thinks for a minute then comes to a decision and begins to talk. "The Commander is a hard man to read. His ex-wife always used to say that she had to guess what he was thinking. They were very close, but after Zac..." She looks sad and breaks eye contact for a second, then sighs and continues. "After Zac's death the Commander became more withdrawn and Ilyia seemed to become needier. Lee wasn't helping, first accusing his father of killing Zac, and then plain not speaking to him. Lee did keep in touch with his mother. I just stood there and watched it all go up in smoke. Both the Commander and Ilyia decided that their marriage wasn't working. He just couldn't give her what she needed. The divorce was amicable, and I know they kept in touch after it was final."
She is not telling me anything I do not already know about Bill, at least the bare facts that are in his records. But, he keeps a lot of things to himself. The information about what led to his divorce is concerning. If Bill really feels that he cannot share emotionally then I have no hope. I am in general not a needy person. There are times when I definitely need my space. Bill has always seemed to understand and respect that. I wonder if he likes the fact that I do not demand more attention. What a frak'n mess. I come out of my introspection. I decide to repeat my new mantra, "Be patient, Kylen".
I lean back in my chair and make an observation. "So from where I sit the picture is like this. I would like a closer relationship with the Commander, but he seems to prefer being friends. You would prefer to be friends, but Lee seems to want more than that. Can things get any more messed up? Oh yeah, no coffee." Starbuck chimes in, "No cigars."
We both laugh and salute each other.
"Adama men are never easy but they are interesting," says Starbuck with a smile on her face. I smile back. What do you know comrades in arms?
I am about to continue when I spot two familiar figures walking toward our table. From the look on both their faces I am sure they are they are concerned about what Starbuck and I have been discussing. We two conspirators share a glance.
Lee only has eyes for Starbuck, but Bill is staring at me with that intense gaze of his and speaks first, "What are you two talking about?"
Starbuck and I share another glance then I reply, "Would you believe men?"
"Anyone I know?" His expression can only be described as self-satisfied. Interestingly enough, Lee is wearing an identical expression.
"Do you know the assistant to President Roslyn? I believe his name is Billy something?" Both Lee and Bill wear identical expressions of surprise. Starbuck is just smiling. Ha! Got you. Of course, Bill recovers first. "Are you going to be here for a while? Mind if Lee and I join you?"
*************************************************
It's my birthday and I can say that it has been one of the best ever. No, it's not the best because I took a day off to spend on the pleasure ship having fun. I actually worked a steady twelve hours. And it's not because we had a big bash in the Life Station. Being the CMO does have advantages and in the ship records I have conveniently made my date of birth top- secret Level One clearance only. No one on my staff knows and I have done my best to keep today just like the others. I do not like big parties. That happened when I turned 40 and got an over-the-hill birthday cake, complete with black balloons. Yep, no big parties for me.
It's because Bill got me the best birthday gift. Ever.
It started earlier today when he asked me to come over to his quarters for some dinner after our shifts. When I asked why dinner in his quarters, he gave me the "Command Stare" and said, "I have top priority clearance. I know today is your birthday." Devious bastard. Let me amend that to sweet devious bastard.
In his quarters he had turned down the lights and there were candles on the table in front of the couch. Dinner was good. Real food not protein supplements. It would have been great except for the synthetic coffee. Lords, that even sounds wrong. Bill was, as always, an excellent dinner companion. It was over dessert that he handed me a box.
His look was intense when he handed me a small box about 2 inches wide by three inches long, wrapped in bright blue paper and tied with a yellow ribbon as he said, "Happy Birthday, Kylen."
I was surprised, but pleased he went to the trouble to get me something. The dinner alone was more than enough. Before I even opened the box I decided to be brave and gave him a soft kiss on his cheek saying, "Thank you. You really didn't have to, but I'm glad you did." I gave him a sly look with a smile and said, "Hmm, too small to be a book." We both laughed at that.
I gave the box a shake, but I heard no rattling. I tested its weight, and it felt light. Jewelry? Bill did not seem like a man who gives women jewelry. I held it up to the light to see if the wrapping was truly opaque. I knew Bill had reached the end of his tolerance when I very carefully began to untie the ribbon.
He looked exasperated, as he demanded, "Just open it, Kylen, you don't have to do an autopsy on it." If I didn't know better, I would have said he was nervous.
I opened my gift and looked at it in awe. I never would have guessed it in a million years. It was perfect. How he ever found something so rare and beautiful was beyond me. I felt tears enter my eyes. I was so overwhelmed I didn't know what to say.
I must have sat like that for a while because Bill's smile started to fade and he looked worried, like he had done something wrong. "I hope you like it. Not everyone would. I admit it's not much."
I knew he never expected my response, as I felt his startled reaction when I wrapped my arms around his neck and gave him a big kiss right on his mouth. His lips were firm and warm under mine. I will definitely have some good dreams tonight. I could have kissed him forever but finally pulled back. When I did, Bill looked completely shocked. I smiled and said, "It's absolutely perfect. This is the best birthday gift EVER. I have never received anything like it. This is ..." I was having a hard time putting my feelings into words. I watched a parade of emotions cross his usually unreadable face, to eventually settle on relief mingled with something I couldn't quite identify.
My best birthday gift ever was a small packet of instant coffee.
I still have no idea how he got it. I immediately made the coffee and split the cup with him. How romantic.
Now it is late and we are slow dancing to some music he has. I have already warned him about my lack of dancing talent. He told me, "If I can command the Galactica, I can take a risk dancing with you." Now I am in his arms my head resting on his shoulder.
I decide to ask the big question in my mind and pull back so I can look into his eyes. "How in all the Fleet did you manage to find coffee for my birthday?"
He is smiling and wearing a smug expression when he replies, "I have my methods. Let's just say I called in a few favors."
I try and give him a good "Medical Stare of Disbelief", but am too happy to put much effort into it. "I hope not expensive favors."
He pulls me back against him and I can feel his chuckles. "I'm not saying. The results were well worth the cost." Hmm, I wonder what that means.
We continue to slow dance. When I comment that he is a good dancer he says, "It's the boxing, keeps me light on my feet." We both laugh.
You know, on the whole it is my best birthday ever. Be patient, Kylen.
End