"I can't believe we've only got tonight left."
"Will you miss me?"
Gravely, he turned her to face him, his face pained. "Of course I will. Everyday." Remus Lupin sighed as he looked at his girlfriend. "I have a bad feeling about this mission."
The two of them walked arm in arm through a park together on a balmy June evening. Their last night together had been one of the most perfect either of them had ever had- dinner had been wonderful, the theatre was amazing and this moonlit walk- a waxing gibbous moon- just complimented the evening.
Silently, they came to the lake, and rested on the railings. Remus remembered coming here with her since she'd been born; he'd helped her mother push her pram. He hadn't thought for a moment that he'd still be visiting here twenty years later, or that he'd be keeping something back from her as big as this secret. She knew everything about him!
He coughed loudly, as much an effort to clear his throat as to delay what he had to say. "Athene?Pleasedon'tgobecauseidon'twantyoutogethurtandi'llmissyoumuchtoomuch. "
"Sorry?" Athene rested a hand on his arm with a smile "Speak more slowly and breathe more often."
"Please don't go with the Aurors tomorrow Thenie. I have a terrible feeling that something will happen, and I can't lose you now. I can't." he looked at her pleadingly, and she took him firmly by the shoulders.
"Nothing's going to happen to me Remus. I'm going to be fine- you know I can take care of myself."
Remus nodded reluctantly, unable to meet her eyes. He'd seen her take care of herself on numerous occasions, but the dreams he'd had had been so real. Dreams where her companions turned on her and tried to use the Cruciatus curse, dreams where Death Eaters had performed Adavra Kedavara on her while she tried to fight them off. Terrible dreams.
"Let me go with you then," he begged, but she only shook her head.
"You know that'd be dangerous Remus, especially this close to the full moon. Anyway, the Order needs you here. I'll be back within a month at most. Don't worry!"
He sniffed and rested his chin against the top of her head, breathing in the smell of her clean, dark blonde hair. Full moon was in three days, and his senses were heightened: smells were more distinct, vision was more precise and his hearing was refined. His feelings also seemed to be magnified; the thought of Athene leaving the next day was needling at his heart.
Gazing out across the water, he wondered vaguely if there was any other couple in London composed of a witch and a wizard who also happened to be a werewolf. Probably. London was a strange place.
"In that case then..."he broke away from their embrace to search his pockets while Athene, looking slightly bemused, waited patiently.
"Where he hell's it gone- ah!" his hand closed around the small velvet box, and he placed it on the wide railing beside them. Then, taking her hand, he coughed nervously (aware that his ears were reddening) and began the speech he had prepared.
"Look, we might not be together all the time, and at certain times of the month we're both really hard to get along with ..." Athene's eyebrow arched, but he coughed again, flushed with embarrassment, and continued.
"This is for whenever we're apart and it's a token to say...oh hell" he mumbled the latter part under his breath. How the hell had James done this? And why was it that he could be so calm all the time unless he was with her? She messed with his head, and she seemed unaffected by him. Still as perfect as ever. It was hardly fair. He gulped before saying his last words. "Athene Nerolia Switch, will you marry me?" There! The hardest thing he'd ever have to do in his life. Unless she refused of course...oh Merlin he hadn't offended her had he? She was being strangely silent. He risked a fleeting glance at her face with his downcast eyes, and saw with relief that she was smiling delightedly. He straightened, coughed again, and caught her eye.
"Well? What do you say?"
Athene flung her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. She smelled of his washing powder, and lavender soap. "Yes," she murmured, "Of course yes."
On hearing her reply, Remus grinned inanely, and gave a cry of joy across the lake, causing several geese to take flight. "She's marrying me!" he whooped, thoughts of Voldemort and the Death Eaters temporarily forgotten. "She's marrying me!!!"
"Yes Mr R.J. Lupin I will marry you. Just don't shout like that in my ear again, okay?"
"I promise Thenie, I promise. Oh, you won't regret this...you're going to marry me!" he was aware that he was not acting like himself but didn't care for once- Athene was marrying him! Mentally, he began to plan the wedding day; cheap of course- they were on a budget- but with their friends, food, drink...he was interrupted by Athene's hand on his shoulder.
"Are you going to show me what's in the box then?" Remus grinned foolishly. He'd forgotten in the heat of the moment- they were getting married!
"Sorry love, I forgot to...you're marrying me!" hands shaking with excitement, he held out the opened box to her. Her eyes widened when she saw the contents.
Twin pendants, different halves of the same galleon sized disk glinted in the moonlight. At a glance they appeared silver, but Remus was certain they were not. For one thing, they didn't sear his skin when he touched them. Their chains were made of the same silvery substances, one small enough to be a choker, the other long enough to fit the neck of a man or a wolf. Athene stared at them transfixed and unspeaking. It worried him. "Look, I know rings are traditional, but I-"
"They're beautiful Remes." He couldn't help but smile at the nickname from their childhood. Remes and Thenie. "Where did you...?"
"They were my mother's," he said softly. His mother had died a few years back. "They're charmed with a spell that lets the wearer of one know where the other is- I used to wear one as a child and she kept the other. When I came to Hogwarts, Dumbledore had one. Now I want you to have it." Taking the pendant on the smaller chain, he showed her its design. It was plain.
"The design represents whoever wears the other half of the coin- it changes for each wearer." He lifted her hair and fastened the necklace. It hung just around her throat, catching the light on its surface.
Taking the other pendant from the box, Remus fastened it around his own neck. Magically, a design began to etch itself into the metal. He held it up so she could see as a shooting star became emblazoned on his half of the disc. Both smiled. "My Quidditch nickname!" Athene laughed "Athene Switch, Gryffindor's Shooting Star- I'd forgotten about that."
Remus nodded. "And you're my guiding star too." he blinked in disbelief at what he had just said. "Sorry, I do believe that was the most drivellingly sentimental thing to ever escape my lips."
She ruffled his hair affectionately. "It was sweet...Moony." The design on her pendant had revealed itself- a crescent moon. "Now I'll know where you are whatever time of month it is."
"And I'll know where you are and if you're safe however far away you go."
Amiable silence washed over them again as they savoured the moment. He'd never thought he'd share a moment like this with anyone, let alone a girl he'd known since she was born. She stood on tiptoes to kiss him fully on the lips, and she tasted of wine and chocolate. Sweet and warm...there could be no doubt that this was Athene Switch, and that he, Remus J Lupin, was engaged to her.
We've shared everything together he thought, as he pulled her closer, out of the breeze that blew across the lake. She was there when I was bitten. I know her inside out, and she knows me. She doesn't care that I'm what I am. She accepts me. The last thought was the best. Acceptance. All his life, up to the age of twenty, he had avoided women on principle, for fear of their reaction to him. How had he not seen that Athene didn't care? She knew his problem; she'd lived with it. How had he not seen that he didn't need acceptance from her because she had already given it to him? And how had he not realised that he had been in love with her for years?
As the kiss ended, he held her in his arms, partially calmed down now after her agreement to marry him. "Fancy coming back to mine for a bit? Your broom's there anyway, so you need to pick it up."
She looked torn at first, between wanting to go and knowing that she shouldn't, but the part about her broom made up her mind for her. "Just for a little while," she agreed, as he escorted her back to his flat.
They reached his doorway laughing together, arms entwined as he fumbled for his keys.
"And then she said if he ever turned into a stag in the garden again, she'd sell his head to a museum to mount on the wall!" they were both in hysterics about the numerous stories Remus had of Lily and James' married life.
"Can I get you a drink?" Remus called from the kitchen area. "Sirius left some Firewhiskey here before he moved out. I've not had time to clean up after him yet."
Athene noticed this as she tried to sit on the couch, finding it covered in black dog hairs. "Just Butterbeer thanks. I don't want a hangover tomorrow."
His hand tightened on the bottleneck as he poured. He had almost put tomorrow out of his mind, but now the feelings of unease crept back into his mind. Handing Athene her drink, he sat beside her on the chair arm, studying her intently. Unconsciously, he traced a finger around her features.
"What are you doing?" she asked, bemused "It tickles."
Remus sighed heavily, and brought his hand to rest over her heart. "I'm remembering you," he replied, "In case you don't come back. I love you Thenie. I worry about you."
She gave him a level look with her calm grey eyes, then pulled him towards her so they both lay on the Sirius-covered sofa. "For heaven's sake Remus, believe me when I say I'm coming back. See this?" she pushed her pendant into his palm. "I'm never taking it off, and you're never going to lose me. I'm going to come back within a month, and we're going to get married and move in together. Maybe not in that order."
"Promise?" he whispered, his voice hoarse and his head resting in the crook of her neck.
"Promise." She answered, stroking his hair back from his face. "I promise."
Lying against her, feeling the beat of her heart and her breathing, he was not convinced. The warmth of her body next to his, the heat of another human that he had got used to over the last two years would, he knew, soon be taken away from him. She couldn't leave him. She mustn't. But he knew that she would.
Somehow, he managed to fall asleep that night, only aware of the fact that Athene was beside him and had not yet gone.
The next morning, he wondered why his neck and back felt stiff and twisted, and why his head had just hit the floor with a painfully hollow noise. He glanced at his watch and saw it was ten past nine. Not that it really mattered; he needed more sleep whatever time it was. He brushed his hair back from his forehead and tried to sit up, but the sharp stab of pain that always preceded the days before a full moon told him this was not such a good idea. He groaned inwardly, clutching his head.
Athene was searching his home frantically, still in lat night's evening wear and looking extremely dishevelled. It was probably tiredness that put the sound of vague disinterest into his voice.
"Weren't you supposed to report to the others ten minutes ago?"
She glared at him furiously. "Yes I bloody well should have done!" she cried "but I was too busy comforting you about bad bloody 'feelings' in this bloody tip of a flat of yours and I can't bloody well find my bloody broom! Where the bloody hell is it?"
He blinked at her blearily. There is a vast difference between being physically awake and waking up, and he was currently drifting between the two, meaning that he could not fully understand Athene's temper, or what he could say to improve the situation.
"Have you checked the bathtub?"
She blinked at him in disbelief, as if she thought he was joking, and then said in a forcibly strained voice "Remus. I presume there is a good explanation for my broom being in your bath? One you are going to explain in a logical way?" Remus shrugged as she left for the cupboard. He made a cup of hot black coffee appear in his hands, and as he sipped it he began to reflect that the bathtub was a fairly unusual place to keep a broom. He was fairly certain that the explanation for it being there involved Sirius and Firewhiskey. Lots of Firewhiskey.
Lying back on his couch, oblivious to the dog hairs, he yawned.
"Does it really matter now anyway? I mean, there's not much point going if all the others have already gone." Athene, broom now in hand, stopped in her tracks and stared at him sprawled on the sofa, coffee in hand, eyes closed.
"You mean just show up at the meeting as usual tonight and say I just forgot about the mission?"
Need for sleep made him miss the sarcasm that laced her voice, and allowed him to dig himself deeper into his pit. "Well obviously you can't say you forgot- that's just ridiculous. Just tell Dumbledore the truth. You overslept."
Athene's face was pale now, not that he was looking, and she struggled not to shake with anger. "Yes," she said softly "Then I can stay here with you Remus. You'd like that wouldn't you?"
"Yup." He took another sip of coffee. "Just stay here with me."
"Was this your plan all along?" Athene demanded, staring at him in livid incredulity. "To get me to stay here with you?"
Remus shrugged, and gave a sly smile that suited Sirius more than himself. "Perhaps."
"You bastard. You utter, utter BASTARD!" she hit him with her broom, upsetting his coffee and scalding him. He leapt to his feet in fury, as being burned does have a tendency to quicken wake up time.
"What are you doing?" Remus sought a charm to remove the coffee from his clothes. "If I tried to get you to stay here it was because I love you! Scourgify!" he had had no such plan to get her to stay, but now that she mentioned it, it did seem like a good idea. "You don't need to spill hot coffee on me!"
"You deserve it!" Her voice was a snarl, angry and bitter. "You knew how much this mission meant to me and you tried to stop me going because you're so bloody...dependant! I hate you!"
"Why don't you go then? Now?" he marched to the door and held it open for her.
"Fine! And don't you dare come after me Remus Lupin!"
"Oh don't worry about that Miss Athene Switch! If I ever see you again it'll be too soon! Enjoy your precious mission, if you get there soon enough!"
She had gathered her possessions, and strode furiously away from his home, down the streets away from him, still dressed in her evening gown. "Take this with you!" he yelled, and he wrenched his pendant from his neck, flinging it into the streets. He closed his door, and sat alone in his flat.