A/N: Ok, so I changed my mind on the one shot thing. But I can't promise
anything about finishing it- for a better understanding see my other works.
It's choppy, just an excuse for an outlet for sarcasm really. Hope you
enjoy.
THANKYOU TO EVERYONE WHO REVEIWED!
Disclaimer: Don't own it
Title: How Out Of Character
Chapter: 'appalling social skills'
"ER," Harry interrupted Ron's disgruntled expression, "how about a friendly game of wizard's chess, Hermione? Perhaps we can have a crack at improving your skills" Harry reached for Hermione's arm attempting to guide her away from Ron and over to the common room table.
Ron laughed in a strategically patronizing tone, probably preempted for probable events when he was likely to be made a fool of- such as the present time.
Hermione refused to be moved.
'Why not ask Ron, Harry? I'm sure he can tell you all about how he's been improving his SKILLS"
"Oh, Ron doesn't have to improve his skills- I've seen him-"
"So have I" Hermione inserted flatly.
"-Never looses a game!"
"Oh, you're wrong there, Harry" Hermione whispered mockingly, leaning toward Harry's ear, talking I a quiet audible volume, "he lost one this afternoon"
"But we didn't play this afternoon"
"Oh you didn't, but our dear friend Ronald did"
"You're playing for another team- I'LL KILL YOU!"
"NO YOU IDIOT!" Hermione's subtle plan was apparently too subtle.
"What she means to say," Ron chimed in, "is that I had intended to play-"
"-Around? -" Added Hermione. For the present time her actual rage at the situation had subsided- sarcasm was kicking in.
"-The field."
The four adorned in muddy scarlet robes looked thoroughly confused.
Hermione continued, "When he suddenly got the urge to-"
"-Change-"
"-Partners-"
"In the potions exam"
"Which is due today. THE SAME DAY AS HE-"
"-DECIDED TO GO TO BED EARLY- GOOD NIGHT!"
Ron, absentmindedly forgetting his current status with Hermione, routinely pecked her on the cheek before nipping up the boy's staircase, into his dorm, and out of sight.
"Saved" Ron said between gasps
"Saved?" Echoed Hermione
"JESUS CHRIST!" Ron stumbled back, tangling himself in Deans bed curtain, ripping it off its brackets and falling to the floor, "HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET IN HERE!"
"The same way I used to every other night!"
"...Oh yeah" Ron chuckled, then straightened up, realizing the seriousness of the situation at last.
"Well, I don't think I need to tell you that that won't be happening from here on out."
"I guess not. It's going to be a pretty dull relationship. Without the sex I mean-"
"RELATIONSHIP! GOD YOU'RE THICK!"
"Well, like I said before, you're going to forgive me," Hermione's face was stern,"-RIGHT...?" He added desperately, "...RIGHT?"
"Afraid not, Ron."
Ron was still sprawled out on the floor, supported by his palms. Looking past Hermione he could see four sets of eyes peeping through the door that had been left ajar.
"Shove off you lot"
"Harry-"Ron began as he sat down at the Gryffindor breakfast table in the Great Hall the following morning, Hermione sitting opposite him.
"-Save it, Ron-"Hermione had taken the liberty of explaining Ron's betrayal to Harry when she woke that morning, finding Harry in the common room, reading a nameless book.
"Great! Now you're pissed at me too!"
"What exactly were you expecting?"
"Forgiveness?"
"You seem to be expecting a little too much of that from everybody of late"
"Fine then. I'm sorry- I-M S-O-R-R-Y"
Hermione, still bitter at the whole episode considered this her flag down signal.
"Very well done, Ronald, "She cleared her throat, and began shuffling some random papers on the table, "Ronald shows excellent use of grammar and recognizes letters appropriately. He's doing substantially well with his math for a child of his age. Yet I have to comment on his appalling social skills- far below sub-normal and I have to admit I have a suspicion that he is of both the male and female gender. He may have problems with impotency later in life, and I think it best if he would desist in the use of the term 'I'm sorry' as this has little to no affect on his peers"
Lavender, who had been sitting next Hermione, giggled into her mug of pumpkin juice.
"Shut it, Lavender- you don't even know what this is about"an unjustly angry Ron remarked
Lavender giggled again, Ron scowled at Hermione.
"Well I couldn't have possibly let you to continue living this lie, now could I?" Hermione said in a mock-concerned tone, patting his hand, which he quickly withdrew.
"I don't see why you're laughing- it's a very serious matter" Ron tried to regain a little of his reputation.
"Then I'd wish you'd start treating it like one" Hermione quipped, perhaps returning to her true emotion, scooping up her books in her arms, toast in her mouth and ushering both herself and Harry out of the room.
Harry glanced over his shoulder as he and Hermione made their way to potions, a class all three of them attended, looking at Ron as if to say 'I know you have no idea what you're bloody doing- but at least rearrange your face to make it seem as if you do!'
So he did. Ron was sure that after witnessing Harry's exit from the Great Hall that Harry was taking the news a little more lightly then Hermione. Until Transfiguration...
"Ok- so I did a bad thing. But I'm willing to-"
"You didn't JUST do a bad thing- and obviously you don't have much remorse for it. I don't think you deserve this forgiveness you seem to think runs on tap from me or from anyone else- particularly Hermione."
Ron's chest sunk.
"But-"Ron tried for a feeble defense.
"You've lost Hermione's trust- and my respect- and if you can't get the basics from us then don't expect me to run to your aid the next time you get your fingers caught in the luggage compartment on Hogwarts Express!"
Though Harry's last response to Ron's inquiry sounded completely ridiculous, Ron knew he was serious, despite his use of laughable language.
The bell sounded.
"I'll-ER-, just...um, leave then. Got stuff to do anyway..."
Harry knew he didn't, this was usually the time of day all three of them went outside to the lake for the short time between last period and dinner. He collected his books into his bag and watched Ron's retreating back leaving the classroom, heading off in an unknown direction. Hermione did the same, walking back to Harry from the front of the classroom where she had taken up residence when Ron had sat down next to Harry at the beginning of the period.
"Where do you 'spose he's going?" Hermione asked, trying to sound off handedly casual.
"I thought you didn't care"
Harry hitched his bag onto his back and walked, slow paced, out of the room, slightly smiling out of view, Hermione at his heels preparing a defense.
THANKYOU TO EVERYONE WHO REVEIWED!
Disclaimer: Don't own it
Title: How Out Of Character
Chapter: 'appalling social skills'
"ER," Harry interrupted Ron's disgruntled expression, "how about a friendly game of wizard's chess, Hermione? Perhaps we can have a crack at improving your skills" Harry reached for Hermione's arm attempting to guide her away from Ron and over to the common room table.
Ron laughed in a strategically patronizing tone, probably preempted for probable events when he was likely to be made a fool of- such as the present time.
Hermione refused to be moved.
'Why not ask Ron, Harry? I'm sure he can tell you all about how he's been improving his SKILLS"
"Oh, Ron doesn't have to improve his skills- I've seen him-"
"So have I" Hermione inserted flatly.
"-Never looses a game!"
"Oh, you're wrong there, Harry" Hermione whispered mockingly, leaning toward Harry's ear, talking I a quiet audible volume, "he lost one this afternoon"
"But we didn't play this afternoon"
"Oh you didn't, but our dear friend Ronald did"
"You're playing for another team- I'LL KILL YOU!"
"NO YOU IDIOT!" Hermione's subtle plan was apparently too subtle.
"What she means to say," Ron chimed in, "is that I had intended to play-"
"-Around? -" Added Hermione. For the present time her actual rage at the situation had subsided- sarcasm was kicking in.
"-The field."
The four adorned in muddy scarlet robes looked thoroughly confused.
Hermione continued, "When he suddenly got the urge to-"
"-Change-"
"-Partners-"
"In the potions exam"
"Which is due today. THE SAME DAY AS HE-"
"-DECIDED TO GO TO BED EARLY- GOOD NIGHT!"
Ron, absentmindedly forgetting his current status with Hermione, routinely pecked her on the cheek before nipping up the boy's staircase, into his dorm, and out of sight.
"Saved" Ron said between gasps
"Saved?" Echoed Hermione
"JESUS CHRIST!" Ron stumbled back, tangling himself in Deans bed curtain, ripping it off its brackets and falling to the floor, "HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET IN HERE!"
"The same way I used to every other night!"
"...Oh yeah" Ron chuckled, then straightened up, realizing the seriousness of the situation at last.
"Well, I don't think I need to tell you that that won't be happening from here on out."
"I guess not. It's going to be a pretty dull relationship. Without the sex I mean-"
"RELATIONSHIP! GOD YOU'RE THICK!"
"Well, like I said before, you're going to forgive me," Hermione's face was stern,"-RIGHT...?" He added desperately, "...RIGHT?"
"Afraid not, Ron."
Ron was still sprawled out on the floor, supported by his palms. Looking past Hermione he could see four sets of eyes peeping through the door that had been left ajar.
"Shove off you lot"
"Harry-"Ron began as he sat down at the Gryffindor breakfast table in the Great Hall the following morning, Hermione sitting opposite him.
"-Save it, Ron-"Hermione had taken the liberty of explaining Ron's betrayal to Harry when she woke that morning, finding Harry in the common room, reading a nameless book.
"Great! Now you're pissed at me too!"
"What exactly were you expecting?"
"Forgiveness?"
"You seem to be expecting a little too much of that from everybody of late"
"Fine then. I'm sorry- I-M S-O-R-R-Y"
Hermione, still bitter at the whole episode considered this her flag down signal.
"Very well done, Ronald, "She cleared her throat, and began shuffling some random papers on the table, "Ronald shows excellent use of grammar and recognizes letters appropriately. He's doing substantially well with his math for a child of his age. Yet I have to comment on his appalling social skills- far below sub-normal and I have to admit I have a suspicion that he is of both the male and female gender. He may have problems with impotency later in life, and I think it best if he would desist in the use of the term 'I'm sorry' as this has little to no affect on his peers"
Lavender, who had been sitting next Hermione, giggled into her mug of pumpkin juice.
"Shut it, Lavender- you don't even know what this is about"an unjustly angry Ron remarked
Lavender giggled again, Ron scowled at Hermione.
"Well I couldn't have possibly let you to continue living this lie, now could I?" Hermione said in a mock-concerned tone, patting his hand, which he quickly withdrew.
"I don't see why you're laughing- it's a very serious matter" Ron tried to regain a little of his reputation.
"Then I'd wish you'd start treating it like one" Hermione quipped, perhaps returning to her true emotion, scooping up her books in her arms, toast in her mouth and ushering both herself and Harry out of the room.
Harry glanced over his shoulder as he and Hermione made their way to potions, a class all three of them attended, looking at Ron as if to say 'I know you have no idea what you're bloody doing- but at least rearrange your face to make it seem as if you do!'
So he did. Ron was sure that after witnessing Harry's exit from the Great Hall that Harry was taking the news a little more lightly then Hermione. Until Transfiguration...
"Ok- so I did a bad thing. But I'm willing to-"
"You didn't JUST do a bad thing- and obviously you don't have much remorse for it. I don't think you deserve this forgiveness you seem to think runs on tap from me or from anyone else- particularly Hermione."
Ron's chest sunk.
"But-"Ron tried for a feeble defense.
"You've lost Hermione's trust- and my respect- and if you can't get the basics from us then don't expect me to run to your aid the next time you get your fingers caught in the luggage compartment on Hogwarts Express!"
Though Harry's last response to Ron's inquiry sounded completely ridiculous, Ron knew he was serious, despite his use of laughable language.
The bell sounded.
"I'll-ER-, just...um, leave then. Got stuff to do anyway..."
Harry knew he didn't, this was usually the time of day all three of them went outside to the lake for the short time between last period and dinner. He collected his books into his bag and watched Ron's retreating back leaving the classroom, heading off in an unknown direction. Hermione did the same, walking back to Harry from the front of the classroom where she had taken up residence when Ron had sat down next to Harry at the beginning of the period.
"Where do you 'spose he's going?" Hermione asked, trying to sound off handedly casual.
"I thought you didn't care"
Harry hitched his bag onto his back and walked, slow paced, out of the room, slightly smiling out of view, Hermione at his heels preparing a defense.