After school, I went home and threw myself upon my bed. I put on my headphones and listened to my new Yellowcard CD. "I feel your pain and confusion guys..." I had thought to myself. I always thought it was cool when you could relate to a band's music; it was the coolest feeling in the world to me.
"They're going to reject me, I know it...they did it before, and they'll do it again." I rolled over and looked at a picture hanging on the wall. It was of our 5th grade class, right after the battle of the bands competition. "We were all happy back then...what happened..."
I didn't even have to ask myself that question. I knew what happened. We changed. Our experiences changed us and we drifted apart. "Maybe tonight, they'll realize I've changed since then...and I'm no longer how I used to be..."
The band used to be one. Everyone was involved. That lasted a whole 2 months. The band started to get popular, and the members started to get picky. They started kicking out members who they thought were unnecessary or just annoying. Such as all of the "rowdy crew", the "groupies", and me...
They realized that they could deal without me. They didn't need a manager anymore. They had Dewy. He could run things. They kicked me out and said I was too controlling. After that incident, I started to learn the guitar, and I made a promise to myself. "Even though I'm not good enough to control a band, one day, I want to be good enough to play in a band."
So I practiced and I grew to be a decent guitar player. Things changed in my life since 5th grade. I was no longer the "miss perfect" that I used to be. I became a rocker, I had mood swings, I wore dark clothing; I wasn't an always happy, perfect person anymore. My experiences had changed me.
So that night, I had to prove myself to everyone. I had to prove that I was a different person—a rocker at heart. I knew I was good enough, but all I needed was that extra bit of courage to show them.
"They're going to reject me, I know it...they did it before, and they'll do it again." I rolled over and looked at a picture hanging on the wall. It was of our 5th grade class, right after the battle of the bands competition. "We were all happy back then...what happened..."
I didn't even have to ask myself that question. I knew what happened. We changed. Our experiences changed us and we drifted apart. "Maybe tonight, they'll realize I've changed since then...and I'm no longer how I used to be..."
The band used to be one. Everyone was involved. That lasted a whole 2 months. The band started to get popular, and the members started to get picky. They started kicking out members who they thought were unnecessary or just annoying. Such as all of the "rowdy crew", the "groupies", and me...
They realized that they could deal without me. They didn't need a manager anymore. They had Dewy. He could run things. They kicked me out and said I was too controlling. After that incident, I started to learn the guitar, and I made a promise to myself. "Even though I'm not good enough to control a band, one day, I want to be good enough to play in a band."
So I practiced and I grew to be a decent guitar player. Things changed in my life since 5th grade. I was no longer the "miss perfect" that I used to be. I became a rocker, I had mood swings, I wore dark clothing; I wasn't an always happy, perfect person anymore. My experiences had changed me.
So that night, I had to prove myself to everyone. I had to prove that I was a different person—a rocker at heart. I knew I was good enough, but all I needed was that extra bit of courage to show them.