Sengoku yawned and stretched. Ah, what a beautiful morning! Last night he'd finally seduced the subject of all his latest kinky fantasies. They'd met in the bar, drunk off their asses, and had agreed that yes, Ostrich feathers are indeed pink. Then they'd gone back to Sengoku's place.
The person beside him stirred.
"Morning," he purred. Then his eyes bulged out of his head in shock as he realized that the person in bed with him did not have blue hair, no; his hair was...magenta.
"Yohei? Damn it, I thought you were Kohei!"
Yohei blinked. "Sengoku? But I thought you were Wakato-san!"
Well, how embarrassing. That was the last time Sengoku was going to get drunk.
But...what was he going to do about this? Last night had been the best damn night of his life, ostrich feathers included!
"It looks like we have a situation," Sengoku said.
"Not really. Two consenting adults, and all that. Let's just forget it ever happened."
"Oh my God! Sengoku! I thought you said you loved me, and then you sleep with my brother?"
Well, Kohei definitely had bad timing.
"How did you get in here?" Sengoku asked.
"You gave me a key, you bastard! Does Yohei have a key, too?"
Kohei slammed the door, and stormed out.
"We have a situation now," Yohei said.
"Gee, thanks for pointing that out."
MEANWHILE...
"Kamio. I just...I don't know how I'm going to break the news to Dan, who is away at boarding school," Kaido sobbed into the phone. "He'll be so crushed to hear that his other father is dead!"
"There there, Kaido. It will get better with time. I'm sure you'll meet someone who will take all your pain away."
"No one could ever replace my Momo!" Kaido bawled.
"Excuse me, are you Kaido Kaoru?" Kaido looked up, and saw a man standing at his desk. The man's glasses twinkled sexily.
"Why yes, yes I am."
"My name is Inui Sadaharu. They told me to come here."
"Oh! You're the ex...ex..." Kaido blushed. "Ex-drug addict and..."
"Prostitute."
"Yes." Kaido cleared his throat. "I don't know why they're leaving you in my care, but they are."
"Excellent."
Kaido blinked. "...right."
MEANWHILE...
"Mwahahaha da ne!" cackled Yanagisawa. It was not Yanagisawa's voice, however. It was deeper, and much distorted, and also a lot sexier. It was a voice that would have suited the devil himself. Which was convenient, since it actually happened to be the devil's voice.
Yanagisawa's lips parted to reveal sharp pointy teeth. "You are trying to exorcise me, puny priest-like man?"
"Y...yes," Kisarazu squeaked.
"You'll never force me from this body, da ne! I will continue to wreak havoc, until I get tired of it. Which will never happen! This man sold his soul to me, and I find it quite tasty, da ne!" This followed by a very loud belch, which sent Kisarazu backwards into the wall. When he recovered, the devil was grinning at him.
"I won't let you keep that innocent's soul!" Kisarazu exclaimed. He held up his crucifix and began to chant. When the exorcism was finished, he opened his eyes, and...
The devil still sat exactly where he'd left him, inspecting his fingernails in a very bored manner.
"There's no way a pathetic mortal like you is going to defeat me. Da ne," he said.
"You...you scoundrel! I will defeat you!" Kisarazu exclaimed. He prayed hard for Yanagisawa's lost soul.
"There's only one way to get me to leave, da ne."
"What's that?" Kisarazu knew he would have to be careful. Dealing with the devil was dangerous business.
Yanagisawa leaned close to Kisarazu's ear, and whispered something.
"I'm not going to do that with the devil! Or Yanagisawa for that matter. I'm a priest!" Kisarazu exclaimed indignantly.
Yanagisawa the devil shrugged. "In that case, I shall sing." He began to belt out "nine hundred and ninety-nine million bottles of beer on the wall".
Once more, Kisarazu screamed like a little girl. There had to be something he could do!
MEANWHILE...
What was one to do in a situation like this? Father Ohtori wondered. He gave advice to every stupid person in town, but couldn't seem to be able to figure out a solution to his own problem, which was what to do about that tape that the town pariahs Oshitari and Mukahi had. He decided to have a talk with Shishido regarding this unpleasant turn of events.
"WHAT??!!!!"
Ohtori had to take a few steps back in order to keep Shishido's voice from breaking his eardrums.
"Uhh... Yeah they have a tape…"
Shishido turned into what could best be described as a mother bear who had just had his cub stolen.
"Step back padre. I'm gonna kick some loud mouthed, redheaded ass!"
Ohtori stood back as Shishido ran out of the house toward Oshitari and Mukahi's place, with what he believed to be a great plan to get the very incriminating tape back.
He was simply going to pound Mukahi until he gave it to him.
Simple yet not effective in the least.
As soon as he arrived to the house, he was promptly thrown out by one of Oshitari's hired goons (for special occasions, always pick hired goons, he'd always say).
"Well that was a big waste of time…"
"Ha! Did you really think we'd give you that tape so easily. He must be stupider then he looks, eh Yuushi?"
"Perhaps he needs to run back to the priest. He'd probably put up a better fight."
The two continued to laugh at Shishido's expense as they returned to the house and slammed the door.
"Those ()&#)&()$&)(!!!"
"Shishido! There's no need for such profanity."
Father Ohtori reminded as calmly as he could.
"Well if this ain't time for profanity, then I don't know what the hell is! How the hell are we going to get that damn tape back now?!"
"I think I may know a way…"
Shishido listened intently as Ohtori told him his no doubt devious and cunning plan.