Yanagisawa could hardly believe it. His husband wasn't dead! All this time, he'd thought...he'd thought...
"Oh Shinji. I thought...I thought..."
"I know, Shinya-chan. But you think too much and you never act! If you'd come after me, and actually looked for me, you might have found me, but nooo, you just sat at home in your comfy chair, and then had a fling with some priest, while poor little me sat in an uncomfortable hospital bed, longing to see you, every second of every day, feeling helpless all the while, and ..."
Yanagisawa had dozed off. He'd forgotten how boring his husband was.
"SHINYA!"
Yanagisawa came to instantly, and wiped the string of drool from his mouth. "Shinji, you have to understand me, da ne. I thought you were dead for a long time, da ne. I...I got over you, da ne, and I fell in love with someone else, da ne."
"That's all well and good for you, but what about me? You have to consider my needs too, or else there will be so much pain and sorrow, and with pain and sorrow there comes --"
"Shinji! Shut up, da ne!" Yanagisawa exclaimed in exasperation. "You...you were married before, da ne. I'm sure that your old wife Kamio would love to have you back, da ne."
"Akira? But Akira --"
"Ack, don't start again, da ne! He's the mother of your first child Fuji, da ne! If anyone can help you, it's him, da ne!"
"But you're the mother of my second child, and my current wife, and --"
"Shinji...I don't love you anymore, da ne. I love Atsushi-chan, da ne. He's a very sweet man, da ne, and he gave up priesthood for me, da ne."
Shinji sniffled. "I don't know what to say."
"Thank God, da ne!"
MEANWHILE...
The next day, Kaido was not-so-conveniently pushed into a secret operation, and forced to work undercover with Inui, to bust a drug ring, and were forced to get married in order to keep up their front (again, not convenient). Not that they'd ever gotten divorced in the first place, but that is neither here nor there.
"Kaido, I want to talk to you. About us."
"Inui...I love both you and Momo," Kaido said.
"Kaido...I still love you," Inui said, taking Kaido's hands in his. "I'll always love you. Please, let's shag, right here on the carpet."
Kaido hissed. Then he agreed.
MEANWHILE...
Tezuka was pining over his lost Fuji. He clenched his fists in anger every time he saw Fuji with Kirihara, smiling that same old smile. He wanted Fuji back, and he had no idea how to get him.
The phone rang just as Tezuka began to develop a huge headache.
"Tezuka."
"Kajimoto!" Kajimoto was a long-time friend of Tezuka's.
"I...I found out something that I thought you should know," Kajimoto said, very serious.
"What is it?"
"It's about Kirihara Akaya."
Tezuka's grip on the phone tightened. "What about him?"
"The paternity records for his baby...they've been forged."
"What?"
"The baby belongs to...Yanagi Renji." Kajimoto had a strange tendency to talk in "..."s.
The phone clattered out of Tezuka's numb hands. Fuji's half-brother was really the father? Then that meant...That meant that Tezuka could have Fuji back. He retrieved the retriever.
"Kajimoto. We have to stop this madness," he said. "We have to expose the truth."
"Yes. You're right, of course," Kajimoto said. He sounded kind of depressed. What Tezuka did not know was that Kajimoto had always been in love with him, but had been too afraid to admit it all along -- because he knew that Tezuka loved Fuji.
"Will you help me?"
"Of course I will," Kajimoto replied. "You're a dear friend."
"Thank you."
Tezuka hung up, new hope kindling deep in his heart. Or maybe that was just gas.
MEANWHILE...
Yohei and Kohei faced each other with stormy expressions.
"You," Yohei growled.
"You," Kohei growled.
"You ruined my entire life!" they howled at each other.
"You stole my boyfriend!"
"What the hell? You stole my boyfriend!"
"Hey, wait a second. Doesn't that mean we should each have a boyfriend?"
"...yeah. So where are they?"
"Damn it! This sucks!"
"I forgive you, Yohei."
"I forgive you, Kohei."
"Right, now the real bastards have to pay!"
"Wakato and Sengoku are in for a nasty surprise!"
"Um...what did you have in mind?"
"Um...I don't know. Maybe we should set them up with each other?"
"Uh...that doesn't sound too nasty. Besides, I sort of made sure that would never happen, when I walked into the club the other night...Wakato got the wrong idea, when I called Sengoku a sleaze."
"Sengoku is a sleaze."
"Well yeah, but so is Wakato, when I think about it."
"...we really got the short end of the stick here, didn't we?"
"...why were we chasing those guys in the first place?"
"I think we should give up and find someone else."
"What about setting those two up together?"
"Ah, they can go to hell."
"Yeah, I think I agree."
"Oh hey, I just remembered something."
"What?"
"I think I'm pregnant," Yohei said. "I'm guessing it's with Sengoku's kid."
"Oh. That sucks. Now that you mention it, I think I'm pregnant, too."
"Who did you sleep with?"
"The milk man."
"Well, isn't this fantastic."
"No, not really."
"I guess I'd better tell Sengoku about this."
"Yeah, and I need to talk to the milk man."
MEANWHILE....
Butler Hiyoshi was dusting around the house, thinking of how he was going to receive such sweet revenge against his oh so perfect brother Tezuka. He also wanted to seriously maim his half brother Kirihara, but that was an entirely different subject. He wanted to remove Tezuka from the picture so he could get his hands on the very attractive Dr. Kajimoto, who was unfortunately very infatuated with Tezuka.
"Damn. He gets all the luck!"
"Stop doddling and get back to work!"
Mukahi was one hell of a bitch to work for, and Hiyoshi was dying to make it big so he could be swept off his feet by the handsome doctor of his dreams.
Hiyohi had met the doctor after he had an unfortunate accident trying to cook. Needless to say, it involved a large amount of mashed potatoes, and wasabi sauce gone wrong.
Kajimoto had nursed him back to health, and Hiyoshi had been in love ever since.
However, Kajimoto had unfortunately fallen in love with his patient's brother, who came to visit everyday. Hiyoshi boiled remembering that unfortunate turn of events.
He was not sure as to how he was going to come up with a million dollars with the pittance he got paid by the cheap bastard Oshitari, until he came to the natural conclusion to steal it.
Hiyoshi snuck into Oshitari's money room and took a million dollars, which he didn't seem to notice was missing afterward and the pansy guards he had were not at all like the hired goons he would pay on occasion (pansy guards are cheaper you see).
MEANWHILE...
Yukimura was slowly recovering from his heart attack, and was somewhat happy for his brother and now ex husband, who seemed to be thoroughly in love.
He was still heartbroken from being abandoned by his true love, who just happened to be working at the very hospital he was currently residing in, and just so happened to be his newly assigned physician.
"Genichirou?"
"Seiichi?"
"Why did you leave me?"
"I thought you were cheating on me with that Shishido character…"
Yukimura looked up at the ceiling in denial. He had indeed been seeing Shishido on the side, but it really hadn't meant anything.
"I thought you were cheating on me with Akaya…"
Sanada had been cheating on Yukimura with Kirihara, but Kirihara was the town's easy squeeze until he set his sights on Fuji Syusuke.
"Why were we fighting in the first place?"
"I have no idea."
Yukimura wondered why exactly they had never had this conversation sooner. It really would have made things easier…