Chapter Five: Cat's Lust and Lister's Trust

Kryten and the Cat were just as surprised as Lister to hear Rimmer was going. But very glad. "Gonna get rid of goalpost head, gonna get rid of goalpost head, gonna get rid of goalpost head, coz we don't like goalpost heads," the Cat sang. Rimmer didn't care. He enrolled Kryten to help him pack. He sifted through his belongings, touching them all again for the first time in over 3 million years. Even his most prized possessions, which he long ago wouldn't have even breathed on; he now traced them all with his fingers, marvelling at the textures. As he sorted them into the three categories of 'take', 'leave' and 'not sure' it began to sink in that he was going. Not only going, but going on a dangerous and most likely futile mission with himself as company. Ok, so the last time he'd been left alone with himself, they'd argued and the dreadful Gazpacho soup incident was cruelly brought up, but Mace didn't know these things. It'd be like being with someone else. Someone who looked like Arlene and acted like Ace. Ugh, he couldn't stand either of them, or her at first. But Mace somehow, didn't annoy him as much now. Had her gift really changed his mind? Was he so easily won over? Rimmer wondered if this made him materialistic. A physical presence wasn't a material thing though. This was life for him. He was Lazarus and she was... well he couldn't remember the whole story. Was it Jesus or Mary Magdalene who brought Lazarus back? Was the story even biblical, he thought.

"Mr Rimmer, did you want inflatable Ingrid?"

Rimmer sat up. "Oh er... no, I'll be rescuing loads of girls who'll be thanking me for my good deeds, if you know what I mean, so I wont need her, erm it. Won't need it." He coughed nervously. A Mace-shaped blur dove past the doorway and the Cat shot past shortly afterwards.

"Should I go help Miss Rimmer?"

Rimmer nodded, not really hearing. Kryten decided to stay. Mace could take care of one guy, surely?

Mace looked around the cargo bay. The Cat didn't appear to be there anymore. She breathed a sigh of relief and cursed her good looks. Just as she picked up a wrench so she could continue fixing her ship, she heard a loud yowling above. "No-" she managed to squeak before the Cat pounced on her.

"Hi!" he smiled and purred slightly.

"Off. Now. Or this wrench and your genetalia will become fast friends."

The Cat obliged and said before sauntering off, "Won't be long baby! I'll be waiting for you!" The Cat bumped into Lister on his way out. "I don't get it," he said. "I'm incredibly good-looking and available. Why isn't she howling a mating call, rubbing her head against stuff on high ledges, with her ass in the air like any normal girl would?"

Lister rolled his eyes and corrected him, "Any normal CATgirl."

"Ooooooooh, I see. It's a monkey thing."

"Kind of." Lister poked his head round the door. "She alone?"

"You think YOU have a chance? Don't make me laugh - this suit is real tight and I don't want to split it."

Lister wasn't paying attention and went over to the ship. Mace was lying underneath it, working away. "Hi," said Lister, finally.

"Evening Skipper!" Mace answered from beneath.

Lister smiled, even though she couldn't see it. "So, why are you doing this? Taking Rimmer to be the next Ace... you really think he can?"

"I did." Mace rolled out from under the ship and wiped some of the oil from her face.

"You... did?"

"You don't remember me do you?" she smiled. "Here's a hint - I hope you get pregnant, you cheap little tart."

"SMEG!" Lister gasped and fell against the opened door, which swung shut with his force against it. He fell backwards onto the floor. "Smeg..." he whispered trying to work it all out.

"When Mace Rimmer visited she had to go out on a mission to a planet nearby. We all went. There was an accident..." she paused.

Lister knew what was coming. "Bexley..." he said, remembering the future echoes. "So that's what Rimmer saw."

"Yes. And Mace died too. But her ship had notes on all kinds of technologies and cultures she'd come across and of other planets that needed help. Lister, I mean Deb, persuaded me to go and continue on as a new Mace. Took her a while I can tell you, I wasn't keen at all. But here I am. 9 planets and a dimension later."

Lister was still trying to absorb the fact that his youngest boy was now dead. He hadn't seen him for so long, but to hear he was actually dead, was crushing. "You're here to give Rimmer the same chance you had?"

"Well, that and I am honestly bored. It's terribly lonely up there." Her voice wasn't as sugary sweet as it was when she first arrived. She sounded more like Arleen again. Slightly obnoxious with a broad Ionian accent. The same accent Rimmer cursed himself for having. Another reason he thought he hadn't made it to the top. She cleared her throat and gathered up her tools. "Don't tell Rimmer about this, Dave."

Lister was surprised by her use of his first name. "Sure."