All usual disclaimers apply, I don't own the rights, I don't get money and this is for entertainment only. Please excuse any errors, they are entirely mine. This is my first attempt at this...

Kitty
By Starsky's Strut

Starsky and Hutch go camping.

"Insert rod though tent loops (see figure B), Where the hell is figure B?" Damn, I knew I shoulda put this thing up at home once before bringing it here." Hutch muttered to himself, a pile of tent material at his feet and various parts were scattered about the log on which he sat.

"Here kitty"

"Ah, figure B, connect shaft with ties (see tying ties – figure D)..." Hutch scratched his head with his right hand as he looked about for the rest of the instructions

"Kitty, Kitty"

"Where is figure D? Oh, here it is"

"Kitty, hey Hutch! Come look at this cat"

"I'm busy Starsk, I gotta get this tent up before dark" Hutch threw over his shoulder. "Stakes, stakes, where did I put those tent stakes... Hey Starsk, how's the firewood collecting?"

"Huh?"

"FIRE WOOD Gordo! How much do ya got?"

"Uh, some" Starsky hedged. "Hey kitty, you're a long way from civilization, hmm, like me" He smiled ruefully as he crouched down and extended his hand toward the cat.

"Oh, COME on Starsky! It gets cold in the mountains at night, we're gonna need more then 'some' " Hutch snapped.

"Hey kitty, wanna come back to camp with me? We're gonna have smores and hotdogs – in that order." Starsky said with a twinkle in his eyes and using his most charming smile.

'Push down on shaft while lifting on tent material, making sure to ease the tent lines through the loops... Oh, yeah, that's as clear as mud! I knew I shoulda rented a cabin but NOOOO, I gotta save money, far cheaper to buy a tent. What was I thinking? Oh, yeah, the stupid LTD's fuel pump went out and POOF! There goes the cabin money!' Hutch gave up on the tent for a few seconds to look around to see what his partner was up to. Eying the stone-ringed fire pit he noticed that there were just a few branches piled next to it.

"STARSKY! What the hell are you doing! Where's the rest of the firewood?"

"Hutch! Over here!"

Hutch looked over to the edge of the small clearing to see Starsky kneeling down next to a small bush. "What are you doing?"

"Hey, come here Hutch, you gotta see this c-"

"Dammit Starsk!" Hutch cut his friend off "It's going to get dark soon and there is nowhere near enough wood to cook with let alone..." Hutch had been advancing on Starsky's position and could now see what Starsky was looking at. "Starsky, get up S L O W L Y" Hutch cautioned.

"What?" Starsky turned his head to look at Hutch. "Do you see the kitty, Hutch? It must have gotten lost... Hey, what's wrong?" Starsky noticed that the expression on his friends face had gone from annoyed to slightly fearful.

"That's NOT a CAT, Starsky" Hutch whispered.

"Whadda mean 'it's not a cat'? I DO know what cats look like. There are plenty in the city, ya know" Starsky said, a bit miffed.

"It's a SKUNK!" Hutch quietly asserted.

"It's got SPOTS Hutch. Skunks have stripes down their back." Starsky was proud of his reasoning.

"That's because it's a SPOTTED SKUNK" Hutch hissed through clenched teeth as he edged away.

"Never heard of such a thing." Starsky scoffed.

"Well, there's lots of stuff YOU'VE never heard of, but it's true, now ease away before it sprays you" Hutch continued to step back.

"If it's a skunk, how come I don't smell any... sniff Eewww! It IS a skunk!" Starsky started to jump up but tripped. And he landed on the skunk. "SHIT! I'm hit! Hutch!"

"Dammit Starsky!" Hutch moved towards his friend for a step or two and then thought the better of it. "How bad is it?"

"Od am it! I'm 'it in the 'est and I can't breed! Od, this really 'inks! Ad" Starsky turned to Hutch, tears streaming down his face. "I an't ee any 'ing"

"Whoa buddy, not too close! Yuck! You smell just terrible!"

"Ee, I 'indent 'ink I 'meld 'ood" Starsky dabbed at his weepy eyes. "Utch, ya got yer 'un?"

"Uh, why, you gonna shoot that poor skunk for defending it's self against an ignorant city boy?"

"Ope."

"Whadda want my gun for?"

"I'm 'onna 'oot 'ou fer 'alkin' ee in ta 'amping again!" He growled

"Now Starsk..." Hutch started backing away, making sure keep his gun safely holstered.

"Oh 'Utch"

"Uh, yeah, Starsk"

"It's a 'ood 'ing 'at 'ee 'ought 'our 'ar"

"SHIT! My CAR!"

"Yeah, 'IT!" Starsky snapped. ""Ive 'ee 'ome 'Utch"

"Double SHIT!"

"Oh 'Uuutch"

Hutch dropped his head to his chest. "Yeah?"

"I'm 'EVER, EVER 'amping again!"

TBC

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