Kitty Chapter #5
"Say Roy, what did you mean when you said to the blond that they 'could be slumming it' " Fred poured a cup of coffee for himself and started to pace the floor. This arrest just didn't seem right. Not that he had made many arrests to really judge this one by.
"Well, I've heard of cops going bad, ya know? Maybe these jokers thought that they would just come up to our town, knock over a business, in this case a motel, and head back to the big city and no one would be the wiser." Roy tilted back in his chair, his hands wrapped around a cup of coffee.
"Well, they didn't head back to the city. I just overheard them in the cell and Curly was saying that we'd have to be stupid to think that they would just rob a place and then take a nap just up the road. He's right. It just doesn't make sense." Fred leaned against the desk.
"Fred, never underestimate the stupidity of criminals" Roy replied sagely.
"Never overestimate the stupidity of certain people who make snap decisions without knowing all the facts." Fred muttered.
"What was that?" Roy looked up over the rim of his coffee cup.
"Nothing"
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The Biggs brothers were having an amazing run of luck. They had robbed the motel without a hitch. They had been followed by a cop car for a short while after words, but nothing came of that either, it had pulled a u-turn and screeched off with lights and siren blaring. Harry finger combed his hair. The stocking cap that he had worn during the heist had flattened it.
"Well, how much did we get?"
Duane finished counting "Two hundred and thirty-five dollars and thirteen cents"
"That's it? We can't even pay rent with that!" He began to drum his fingers on the steering wheel.
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"Hey! Officer! H E L L O O O!" Starsky called. It was way past time for them to make their phone calls. "What the hell do ya think the hold up is?" He said to Hutch as he paced the small cell.
"Could you please NOT say 'Hold up' while we are in jail, as suspects, for a HOLD UP, please? Starsk? Could you do that for me? Huh?" Hutch pinched the bridge of his nose 'My kingdom for an aspirin' he thought. 'Make that four aspirins'
"What's your problem, Hutch? I want outta here and I wanna see you little plan in action"
"Well, there's not a lot of 'action' to this plan"
"I know but..." The door leading to the cell area opened just then, interrupting Starsky.
"What seems to be the problem here?" the younger of their two arresting officers asked as he poked his head into the hallway. His words were met with a chorus of complaints from the drunks and the detectives.
"Excuse me, but we would like to make our calls, please" Hutch strove to be heard over the din. He would be polite, at least until the calls had been made. After that though... "Are there any local veterinarians? And could I have their phone numbers?"
"It's three o'clock in the morning..." Fred held his nose against the smells that wafted his way.
"I'm not interested in what time it is, I am just interested those phone numbers" Hutch quipped. 'Better tone it down, I need his help' "Please? It would be really helpful"
"Number. There's only one vet in this town" Fred replied. He liked these two. He would help them out as much as possible. Officer Roy Palmer was such a pompous ass, so Fred had taken it on himself to contact the Bay City Police department; he was given the name of Captain Harold Dobey as the detectives' superior. A return call from him should clear the air – in more ways then one- and perhaps these two would be on their way. He left to look up the vet's number and he wondered what the hell they wanted a vet for.
In short order Starsky and Hutch were brought out to make their respective phone calls. Each had one hand cuffed to a heavy wooded desk. As it was a small town, there was just the one phone line to the station. Hutch called the local vet and soon had the man agreeing to come down to the Police station.
Officer Palmer's phone rang before Starsky could make his call. Roy picked it up and after explaining to Dobey that his men had been arrested and for what, Roy found himself confronted with an extremely unhappy and loud Captain Dobey.
"What in the HELL is going on up there? Who the hell are you to be arresting my men?" The tirade went on for a while. Dobey was so loud that Officer Palmer had to hold the phone far from his ear. Everyone in the room heard Captain Dobey and every word he hollered. He pointed out several large errors in Palmer's theory on who robbed the motel and further impressed upon Officer Palmer that "His men" should be released immediately, before Dobey started pressing some charges himself.
Hutch whispered to Starsky "Well, maybe my plan won't be needed. I think Dobey just handled getting us out of here." Starsky nodded.
Officer Palmer was thoroughly dressed down and red faced by the end of the phone call. He shot hot daggered looks at his rookie partner. Fred turned away, embarrassed.
At that moment, the veterinarian Todd Mills entered the station. "PHEW!" I think I know what the trouble is."
Fred, happy to do something other then avoid his partner's angry gaze went to greet the vet. "Detectives' Hutchinson and Starsky, I'd like you to meet the town vet, Todd Mills"
"Doctor Mills, I can't tell you how happy I am to meet you. Obviously, we have questions on getting rid of skunk odor but before that, is it possible to get rid of smell, or hide it by using perfume or some other form of deodorant?" Hutch asked.
"No. Absolutely not, though it smells like you tried." He winked at Starsky.
Starsky turned and glared at Hutch "It's that damned girl shampoo ya gave me, I knew it wouldn't work!"
"So, if we went into some place to buy something, the clerk would notice the odor, correct?"
"Correct. Even to someone with the worst kind of head cold, you two gentleman are readily detectable"
"So, there is no way that we could get rid of this odor in say a 6 hour period?"
"No, not unless you cleaned up properly and even then, whenever you get wet, the odor will come back. Not as strong, but it comes back. It will be a week or so before the smell goes away entirely and that's only with the proper clean up."
"And without proper clean up?"
"Could be a month or more"
"What about that stuff about tomato soup?" Starsky inquired.
"First off, it's tomato juice. What is actually happening in this home remedy is that because with the high doses of skunk musk, the human olfactory system goes into fatigue, olfactory fatigue. When this happens, the smell of tomato juice is easily detected. So, the person just thinks that the odor is neutralized by the tomato juice. It's like your nose just gets tired of smelling the skunk and can't smell it anymore. The tomato juice is a different scent and CAN be detected. But someone just walking onto the scene will readily be able to detect the skunk smell as their nose is fresh, so to speak" Doctor Mills concluded. "Skunk musk is an acid, so you have to use a base or neutralizing solution to eliminate it."
"In English, please Doc" Starsky interrupted.
"Okay, get yourself some baking soda, hydrogen peroxide, dish soap. Make a paste. Apply the mixture to your skin and hair. Let sit for 5 to 10 minutes, and then wash it off. Repeat this in about two hours as the chemicals in the skunk spray will continue to convert to a smelly byproduct."
"And this works?"
"Sure, I used it on my Black Lab when he got skunked. One small hitch though, he was a Chocolate Lab when I finally finished with him."
Starsky pulled down some curls and fixed them with a hard look. "I don't wanna be a blond, no offence Hutch"
"Well, it's this or stink for a month or more. No dating for a month. Do ya think you can handle it?" Hutch laughed.
"Dammit!"
"Oh, and might I suggest breath mints."
"Breath mints? Why?" Starsky was confused.
"With that close a hit and you must have gotten it point blank, your breath smells skunky." The vet smiled. "The same thing happened to my Lab."
"WHAT!" Starsky turn to Hutch "Just WHEN were ya going to tell me that? Or were you NOT going to tell me at all?!"
"Heh, Heh, um, well I..." 'Oops! Busted!'
"YOU weren't going to tell me, were ya?!"
Hutch had the grace to look ashamed.
'Better change the subject' Hutch thought. "Thanks doc!" Hutch shook the vet's hand. "We appreciate your assistance in this matter."
"Well, there is a small matter of the bill"
"Bill?" Hutch gulped, he hadn't thought of that.
"Let's see..." The vet scribbled down some notes and handed the bill to Hutch.
"FIFTY DOLLARS!!! What the hell for?"
"Twenty-five dollars for the house call and twenty-five for the advice. You will also have to keep in mind that you got me up at 3 a.m." The vet put out his hand.
"Ya know, Starsk, you should be the one paying the vet."
"Why should I pay the man? I didn't call him" He grinned at his friend. "And, ya didn't tell me about my breath" He leaned back in the chair and hooked his free hand in his pocket.
"Fred, could you hand me my wallet, please" Hutch said through gritted teeth. He reluctantly handed the bills over to the vet.
"Nice doing business with you." The vet nodded at Hutch and Starsky, he then left the station.
"Yeah, your welcome" Hutch dropped his head into his hand.
Starsky looked over at his partner, then turned to Officer Palmer "So, Officer Roy, about releasing us... As you can see, or smell, there is no way we could be the ones behind the robbery. The statement given by the victim says nothing of the skunk odor. An expert agrees that anyone, even someone with a severe cold would have noticed the scent. The case against us is circumstantial and lies solely with the fact that we were in an LTD, as were the suspects. And, you have our names, badge numbers and addresses. We can be contacted through the Bay City police department should there be any further questions."
"How the HELL do you know what the witness statements say?!" An angry and exasperated Roy rounded on Starsky.
"I read them. They are on top of your desk." Starsky eyed Roy. The officer was getting near the edge and Starsky knew he would have to be careful of how much he pushed the man.
Roy looked down on his desk. Indeed, the statements were there, the folders were open and momentarily forgotten by Roy. He gathered the statements, flipped the fold closed. "SHIT! You son of a bitch!" He raised his right arm as though to back-hand Starsky.
Both Starsky and Hutch stood up and fixed Roy with a hard gaze. Starsky made ready to defend himself and Hutch made ready to defend his partner.
"That would most certainly be a most unwise decision" Hutch stated.
"Police brutality even, as I'm still handcuffed to this desk." Starsky added.
Roy dropped his arm. "Fred, release them." Officer Palmer gathered up the statements. Shit rolls down hill so Roy turned on Fred "Fred, you shouldn't have called their captain that's... that's..."
"Circumnavigation of authority" Hutch supplied.
"Circumcise who?" Starsky piped in.
"Not circumcise, circumnavigation, it means to go around, in this case not following the chain of command."
"Oh, we do that ALL the time! Its s'not such bad a thing" Starsky grinned.
Roy ignored the two detectives "Fred, your ass is grass and I the lawn mower! You are gonna be out of a job!"
Hutch turned to Fred, who had just released his hand from the desk. "Fred, no guarantees, but we will put in a good word for you at Bay City. That's if you want to work for a REAL police department"
"That goes double for me" Starsky said to Fred as his hand was released.
"You can't DO that!" Roy snapped.
"Watch us" Hutch rubbed his wrist where the cuff had been.
"Weren't you listening? We do this ALL the time. What's once more?"
Roy glared in turn at each of the three men. "JUST GET OUT!"
"Fine with us" Starsky retorted.
Fred handed them their personal effects and weapons and walked the two outside.
"Fred, a word of advice, though we are very happy you helped us, it's never a good thing to go against your partner. You should have talked with him first. Told him of your concerns or doubts. Communication is very important to a great partnership." Hutch shook Fred's hand.
"I'll remember that!" Fred waved at them as they headed to the dumpy LTD. It was good advice, Fred would remember. He would also be contacting the Bay City PD and look in to working there. His job here would not be worth keeping now.
TBC xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"Say Roy, what did you mean when you said to the blond that they 'could be slumming it' " Fred poured a cup of coffee for himself and started to pace the floor. This arrest just didn't seem right. Not that he had made many arrests to really judge this one by.
"Well, I've heard of cops going bad, ya know? Maybe these jokers thought that they would just come up to our town, knock over a business, in this case a motel, and head back to the big city and no one would be the wiser." Roy tilted back in his chair, his hands wrapped around a cup of coffee.
"Well, they didn't head back to the city. I just overheard them in the cell and Curly was saying that we'd have to be stupid to think that they would just rob a place and then take a nap just up the road. He's right. It just doesn't make sense." Fred leaned against the desk.
"Fred, never underestimate the stupidity of criminals" Roy replied sagely.
"Never overestimate the stupidity of certain people who make snap decisions without knowing all the facts." Fred muttered.
"What was that?" Roy looked up over the rim of his coffee cup.
"Nothing"
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The Biggs brothers were having an amazing run of luck. They had robbed the motel without a hitch. They had been followed by a cop car for a short while after words, but nothing came of that either, it had pulled a u-turn and screeched off with lights and siren blaring. Harry finger combed his hair. The stocking cap that he had worn during the heist had flattened it.
"Well, how much did we get?"
Duane finished counting "Two hundred and thirty-five dollars and thirteen cents"
"That's it? We can't even pay rent with that!" He began to drum his fingers on the steering wheel.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"Hey! Officer! H E L L O O O!" Starsky called. It was way past time for them to make their phone calls. "What the hell do ya think the hold up is?" He said to Hutch as he paced the small cell.
"Could you please NOT say 'Hold up' while we are in jail, as suspects, for a HOLD UP, please? Starsk? Could you do that for me? Huh?" Hutch pinched the bridge of his nose 'My kingdom for an aspirin' he thought. 'Make that four aspirins'
"What's your problem, Hutch? I want outta here and I wanna see you little plan in action"
"Well, there's not a lot of 'action' to this plan"
"I know but..." The door leading to the cell area opened just then, interrupting Starsky.
"What seems to be the problem here?" the younger of their two arresting officers asked as he poked his head into the hallway. His words were met with a chorus of complaints from the drunks and the detectives.
"Excuse me, but we would like to make our calls, please" Hutch strove to be heard over the din. He would be polite, at least until the calls had been made. After that though... "Are there any local veterinarians? And could I have their phone numbers?"
"It's three o'clock in the morning..." Fred held his nose against the smells that wafted his way.
"I'm not interested in what time it is, I am just interested those phone numbers" Hutch quipped. 'Better tone it down, I need his help' "Please? It would be really helpful"
"Number. There's only one vet in this town" Fred replied. He liked these two. He would help them out as much as possible. Officer Roy Palmer was such a pompous ass, so Fred had taken it on himself to contact the Bay City Police department; he was given the name of Captain Harold Dobey as the detectives' superior. A return call from him should clear the air – in more ways then one- and perhaps these two would be on their way. He left to look up the vet's number and he wondered what the hell they wanted a vet for.
In short order Starsky and Hutch were brought out to make their respective phone calls. Each had one hand cuffed to a heavy wooded desk. As it was a small town, there was just the one phone line to the station. Hutch called the local vet and soon had the man agreeing to come down to the Police station.
Officer Palmer's phone rang before Starsky could make his call. Roy picked it up and after explaining to Dobey that his men had been arrested and for what, Roy found himself confronted with an extremely unhappy and loud Captain Dobey.
"What in the HELL is going on up there? Who the hell are you to be arresting my men?" The tirade went on for a while. Dobey was so loud that Officer Palmer had to hold the phone far from his ear. Everyone in the room heard Captain Dobey and every word he hollered. He pointed out several large errors in Palmer's theory on who robbed the motel and further impressed upon Officer Palmer that "His men" should be released immediately, before Dobey started pressing some charges himself.
Hutch whispered to Starsky "Well, maybe my plan won't be needed. I think Dobey just handled getting us out of here." Starsky nodded.
Officer Palmer was thoroughly dressed down and red faced by the end of the phone call. He shot hot daggered looks at his rookie partner. Fred turned away, embarrassed.
At that moment, the veterinarian Todd Mills entered the station. "PHEW!" I think I know what the trouble is."
Fred, happy to do something other then avoid his partner's angry gaze went to greet the vet. "Detectives' Hutchinson and Starsky, I'd like you to meet the town vet, Todd Mills"
"Doctor Mills, I can't tell you how happy I am to meet you. Obviously, we have questions on getting rid of skunk odor but before that, is it possible to get rid of smell, or hide it by using perfume or some other form of deodorant?" Hutch asked.
"No. Absolutely not, though it smells like you tried." He winked at Starsky.
Starsky turned and glared at Hutch "It's that damned girl shampoo ya gave me, I knew it wouldn't work!"
"So, if we went into some place to buy something, the clerk would notice the odor, correct?"
"Correct. Even to someone with the worst kind of head cold, you two gentleman are readily detectable"
"So, there is no way that we could get rid of this odor in say a 6 hour period?"
"No, not unless you cleaned up properly and even then, whenever you get wet, the odor will come back. Not as strong, but it comes back. It will be a week or so before the smell goes away entirely and that's only with the proper clean up."
"And without proper clean up?"
"Could be a month or more"
"What about that stuff about tomato soup?" Starsky inquired.
"First off, it's tomato juice. What is actually happening in this home remedy is that because with the high doses of skunk musk, the human olfactory system goes into fatigue, olfactory fatigue. When this happens, the smell of tomato juice is easily detected. So, the person just thinks that the odor is neutralized by the tomato juice. It's like your nose just gets tired of smelling the skunk and can't smell it anymore. The tomato juice is a different scent and CAN be detected. But someone just walking onto the scene will readily be able to detect the skunk smell as their nose is fresh, so to speak" Doctor Mills concluded. "Skunk musk is an acid, so you have to use a base or neutralizing solution to eliminate it."
"In English, please Doc" Starsky interrupted.
"Okay, get yourself some baking soda, hydrogen peroxide, dish soap. Make a paste. Apply the mixture to your skin and hair. Let sit for 5 to 10 minutes, and then wash it off. Repeat this in about two hours as the chemicals in the skunk spray will continue to convert to a smelly byproduct."
"And this works?"
"Sure, I used it on my Black Lab when he got skunked. One small hitch though, he was a Chocolate Lab when I finally finished with him."
Starsky pulled down some curls and fixed them with a hard look. "I don't wanna be a blond, no offence Hutch"
"Well, it's this or stink for a month or more. No dating for a month. Do ya think you can handle it?" Hutch laughed.
"Dammit!"
"Oh, and might I suggest breath mints."
"Breath mints? Why?" Starsky was confused.
"With that close a hit and you must have gotten it point blank, your breath smells skunky." The vet smiled. "The same thing happened to my Lab."
"WHAT!" Starsky turn to Hutch "Just WHEN were ya going to tell me that? Or were you NOT going to tell me at all?!"
"Heh, Heh, um, well I..." 'Oops! Busted!'
"YOU weren't going to tell me, were ya?!"
Hutch had the grace to look ashamed.
'Better change the subject' Hutch thought. "Thanks doc!" Hutch shook the vet's hand. "We appreciate your assistance in this matter."
"Well, there is a small matter of the bill"
"Bill?" Hutch gulped, he hadn't thought of that.
"Let's see..." The vet scribbled down some notes and handed the bill to Hutch.
"FIFTY DOLLARS!!! What the hell for?"
"Twenty-five dollars for the house call and twenty-five for the advice. You will also have to keep in mind that you got me up at 3 a.m." The vet put out his hand.
"Ya know, Starsk, you should be the one paying the vet."
"Why should I pay the man? I didn't call him" He grinned at his friend. "And, ya didn't tell me about my breath" He leaned back in the chair and hooked his free hand in his pocket.
"Fred, could you hand me my wallet, please" Hutch said through gritted teeth. He reluctantly handed the bills over to the vet.
"Nice doing business with you." The vet nodded at Hutch and Starsky, he then left the station.
"Yeah, your welcome" Hutch dropped his head into his hand.
Starsky looked over at his partner, then turned to Officer Palmer "So, Officer Roy, about releasing us... As you can see, or smell, there is no way we could be the ones behind the robbery. The statement given by the victim says nothing of the skunk odor. An expert agrees that anyone, even someone with a severe cold would have noticed the scent. The case against us is circumstantial and lies solely with the fact that we were in an LTD, as were the suspects. And, you have our names, badge numbers and addresses. We can be contacted through the Bay City police department should there be any further questions."
"How the HELL do you know what the witness statements say?!" An angry and exasperated Roy rounded on Starsky.
"I read them. They are on top of your desk." Starsky eyed Roy. The officer was getting near the edge and Starsky knew he would have to be careful of how much he pushed the man.
Roy looked down on his desk. Indeed, the statements were there, the folders were open and momentarily forgotten by Roy. He gathered the statements, flipped the fold closed. "SHIT! You son of a bitch!" He raised his right arm as though to back-hand Starsky.
Both Starsky and Hutch stood up and fixed Roy with a hard gaze. Starsky made ready to defend himself and Hutch made ready to defend his partner.
"That would most certainly be a most unwise decision" Hutch stated.
"Police brutality even, as I'm still handcuffed to this desk." Starsky added.
Roy dropped his arm. "Fred, release them." Officer Palmer gathered up the statements. Shit rolls down hill so Roy turned on Fred "Fred, you shouldn't have called their captain that's... that's..."
"Circumnavigation of authority" Hutch supplied.
"Circumcise who?" Starsky piped in.
"Not circumcise, circumnavigation, it means to go around, in this case not following the chain of command."
"Oh, we do that ALL the time! Its s'not such bad a thing" Starsky grinned.
Roy ignored the two detectives "Fred, your ass is grass and I the lawn mower! You are gonna be out of a job!"
Hutch turned to Fred, who had just released his hand from the desk. "Fred, no guarantees, but we will put in a good word for you at Bay City. That's if you want to work for a REAL police department"
"That goes double for me" Starsky said to Fred as his hand was released.
"You can't DO that!" Roy snapped.
"Watch us" Hutch rubbed his wrist where the cuff had been.
"Weren't you listening? We do this ALL the time. What's once more?"
Roy glared in turn at each of the three men. "JUST GET OUT!"
"Fine with us" Starsky retorted.
Fred handed them their personal effects and weapons and walked the two outside.
"Fred, a word of advice, though we are very happy you helped us, it's never a good thing to go against your partner. You should have talked with him first. Told him of your concerns or doubts. Communication is very important to a great partnership." Hutch shook Fred's hand.
"I'll remember that!" Fred waved at them as they headed to the dumpy LTD. It was good advice, Fred would remember. He would also be contacting the Bay City PD and look in to working there. His job here would not be worth keeping now.
TBC xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx