~I Love Her?...I Love Her Not?~
-Pnaixr0se8-
A/N: Wow thanks for the reviews!!!!! Here's the next chapter I promised. I hope you understand the dream.
Disclaimer: I do not own CCS.
~~~~~
Chapter 4: Uncontrollable Emotions
"Himiko…I love…"
Suddenly a figure appeared behind Shun and Himiko. It looked like Ryu! Something was wrong though…for he now had red eyes.
'Come here…' Ryu said as he pointed to Himiko. Himiko swore that his voice didn't sound the same at all either. It sounded dark, menacing, like an adult's.
Suddenly her eyes glazed over. She could still see, but her body was moving against her will. And as hard as she tried, she couldn't talk. She walked towards the figure.
"Himiko stop!!" she heard Shun cry out. She saw Shun trying to get close to her but Ryu held his palm out to him and a strong force came from him towards Shun. It hit him and he flew backwards, landing hard on the ground.
Himiko wanted so badly to run and help him, but she couldn't. She couldn't even scream.
When she reached Ryu, he held out a sword. Himiko recognized the sword. It was Shun's sword. Its shiny metal gleamed.
Himiko felt herself grab the sword by the handle. She unwillingly turned around and walked towards Shun who was on the ground still recovering from the strange magic from Ryu. He couldn't even get up. The magic must've been very strong.
Himiko tried to gasp. She felt herself lift the sword above Shun! She felt relieved when Shun rolled away.
Shun finally stood up. His eyes looked hurt, shocked, surprised, and upset.
"H-Himiko…Wh-what did I do?" he said weakly with a lot of hurt in his voice.
Himiko felt herself try to slash him again. He dodged.
"HIMIKO STOP THIS!!!"
Himiko felt herself try to slash him again, again, and again. It hurt, because she was trying to kill Shun, even when she didn't want to! Shun wasn't even trying to stop her. Himiko wanted to ask why he wasn't attacking back, but she couldn't.
"Please…tell me…what did I do?" Shun pleaded.
Himiko wanted to say 'I'm sorry it's not me!' or 'Shun, get away from me!' or even 'Shun, kill me right now! I can't stop!' but instead other words formed in her mouth. The last words she would think of saying right now.
"Shut up, Li."
Himiko saw Shun flinch.
"Wh-what?" he said weakly.
Himiko felt her eyes narrow.
"I hate you, Li."
The four words were simple, yet Shun stared at her like she said something unbearable to him.
"Himiko…" he said.
"Don't call me that!" she felt herself shout back.
Himiko was shocked at what she felt herself say. They have always called each other by their first names, even when they were toddlers.
Shun looked offended. He fell on his knees, his head down, his hair hiding his eyes.
"No one likes you, Li. You're always complaining and are always mean to people. I'm sick of it."
"…I…I thought you were the only person who understood why…" Shun said, his head still down.
"Enough of your excuses!"
Himiko tried to prevent herself from getting anywhere close to Shun. He wasn't even trying to dodge anymore.
When she reached him, she felt her hands grip on the sword. She unwillingly held it up above Shun.
Ryu laughed behind her. "Now you'll witness the true feelings of the one you love most, Li!!!!!!"
…………Time froze…………
Shun finally lifted his head up. Himiko would've widened her eyes if she could. Shun…the bravest, toughest, person around…had tears streaming down his face.
"Himiko...There's one thing I've always wanted to tell you…" he said. His usual gentle eyes were full of despair. His shoulders sagged. He seemed like he just gave up.
"Himiko I…I…I…love…y-"
Himiko felt herself bring the sword down.
*BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP*
Himiko's eyes popped open. She sat up and looked at the alarm clock and saw that it was 7:30am. Sunlight streamed into the room from behind her curtain.
"Shun...no…"
She cried silently. That dream was the worst dream ever.
"It hurt to see you like that…It hurt to see that I was the one causing you pain…"
~~~~~
Later that Morning…
"Syaoran…he's coming back…" Sakura whispered into her husband's ear. She hugged him. Syaoran and Sakura were outside in their garden. The trees swayed in rhythm causing a peaceful feeling. Syaoran hugged back.
"Don't worry. Nothing will happen to you," Syaoran answered.
"No Syaoran…I won't let you-"
Sakura didn't get to finish. She was entrapped in her husband's sweet kiss.
~~~~~
'Himiko…'
Shun closed his eyes. He always felt peaceful during this time of the day. He would always sit on a branch of this tree, it was his favorite spot for peace and quiet.
'How come I always see her now? What's wrong with me? Why do I keep seeing her?'
"Shun?"
Shun jumped at the sound of the voice. His face looked like a tomato and he glared at the person.
"STOP SNEAKING UP ON ME!" Shun shouted angrily.
Himiko looked serious. No giggling at all. Shun even noticed that she looked upset. Himiko upset? No way…
"I-I'm sorry…" Himiko responded looking down.
Shun jumped down from the tree in front of Himiko.
"Himiko what's-"
Himiko's eyes were almost to tears. Shun's heart ripped. He grabbed her by her shoulders.
"Himiko…what's wrong?" he asked.
She was silent.
"Himiko…look at my eyes…what's wrong?!"
When she didn't move, Shun touched held her chin, forcing her to look at him.
"What's wrong?" he asked again.
Himiko was lost in his eyes. Dark green, with a tint of amber. The most perfect eyes in the world. Gentle, serious, concerned eyes. But the dream kept on coming back. She couldn't forget how his eyes were in the dream. They were sad, and offended…like he had just given up on life.
"Himiko, what's wrong?!" he asked again.
'Should I tell him? He seems so worried. No…I shouldn't tell him. It was just a dream. But how could I get so freaked out about one simple dream?'
"Himiko!?!?!?!"
She pulled away from his strong arms and looked away.
"It's nothing," she said.
"Himiko, it's not nothing! You're in pain, I can sense it! Please just tell me what's wrong!"
'Why is he so worried?'
"I told you it's nothing…………but promise me one thing…" she said softly.
"Wh-what???"
"…don't ever cry…"
And with that she ran away. Shun stood there, dumbfounded.
"What the heck is going on?"
~~~~~
As Shun was about to go inside, he spotted his mom and dad in their garden. He walked towards them.
"What's wrong?" Syaoran asked as his son got nearer.
Shun was silent. He looked from his mom to his dad. They looked distressed.
"Shun, what's wrong?" Sakura tried to say happily.
Shun noticed his mother trying to be happy. He sighed.
"If something's bothering you, don't keep it in. It'll only get worse," Shun advised.
Sakura was taken aback. 'My son is wiser than me…'
"Thank you…" Sakura said gratefully.
Shun nodded and smiled. The only time he ever smiled was when he was alone with his parents, or when he was alone with Himiko.
"Now, what did you want, son?" Syaoran asked.
Shun blushed. "Umm…"
Sakura and Syaoran looked at each other with knowing faces.
"Is it about Himiko?" Sakura asked, smiling.
Shun blushed deeper. He was used to his parents knowing everything before he says it.
"What about her?" Syaoran asked, amused at his son's reactions.
"She…she's acting weird today…"
"How so?"
Shun retold what happened a few minutes ago.
"Hmmm…her aura did seem a weaker than usual," Syaoran said.
"Shun, she's probably upset about something," Sakura said.
"But, why would she say '…don't ever cry…'?" Shun asked.
"She probably had a dream or vision about you crying," Syaoran said.
"Why would she care so much about me crying?"
"She probably hated to see you cry," Sakura added.
"Huh? Why?"
Syaoran smiled at his son's confused face.
"Don't worry…you'll find out all your answers soon," Syaoran said patting his son's back, "I know what you're going through."
"Huh?"
Sakura laughed. "C'mon you guys, let's go inside now."
Sakura and Syaoran walked inside their house with a confused Shun following behind them.
~~~~~
'What was that dream?' Himiko thought as she ran. She ran so hard that her muscles started burning. She passed curious passer-bys, happy children, and busy stores as she ran through the streets. 'Shun…I…you…' Her mind was confused with the dream. 'That dream hurt so much.' She felt tears coming to her eyes. 'I have to tell him…how I feel…That I love hi-'
Suddenly she felt herself bump into another person. The person fell.
"Oh I'm so sorry!" Himiko quickly apologized. She gasped. The person was no other than…
"Ryu!"
"Heh…surprised to see me?" he asked getting up.
"Ummm…no it's just that…well…"
"Why are you running through the streets like that?" Ryu teased.
"No you see…" 'I feel scared to be near him.'
"Hey, wanna get something to eat?"
"No…I mean…sorry I can't…sorry…bye…"
Then Himiko started running again.
She reached a kid park. It had swings, benches, and a jungle gym. She sat down breathlessly on a swing. Then she looked around. No one was there. It was empty.
'I remember this place. This is where Shun and I used to play.'
She closed her eyes.
(FLASHBACK)
"You can't catch me, Shun!" a little Himiko shouted happily.
"Himiko…" an angry little Shun said.
"Oh c'mon! Lighten up! You can't be serious all the time!"
"Oh fine…go run…" he said grumpily.
"Yay!!!"
Little Shun started to chase her through the grass, past the swings and around the jungle gym. Suddenly Shun tripped and fell.
"Shun!!!" Little Himiko yelled as she ran to where he fell.
"I'm fine," he said nonchalantly.
He tried to get up but he flinched and couldn't. There was blood trickling down his leg.
"Shun! You're bleeding!" little Himiko said. She covered her eyes. It was a very big cut and it was bleeding badly.
"What's wrong?" Shun asked.
"Wow…you're brave! I would be crying right now!"
"…I never cry…"
(END OF FLASHBACK)
Himiko opened her eyes. Tears flowed out.
"…You better not cry…ever…It hurts so much to see you cry, Shun…It's hurting me right now, just remembering…"
~~~~~
"Tomoyo, it's alright, nothing's going to happen to Himiko," Eriol said. He and Tomoyo were sitting side by side on the couch. Tomoyo was in tears, still upset about what Sakura's dream. Eriol hugged her tenderly.
"It's not only that! Sakura and Syaoran are in trouble as well. I can't stand to think what would happen if they got hurt! And then there's you! You will go and help them as well! Can you promise me that you're not going to fight Katana?" Tomoyo cried.
"Tomoyo, you know I can't do that. I have to help them…"
"I know. I'm acting selfish."
"No you're not. You're just worried," Eriol said.
"It's all because of Katana! He's the one that I hate!" Tomoyo cried into his shirt.
Eriol comforted her.
Suddenly Tomoyo stopped crying. She felt a deep pain inside her.
"What's wrong?" Eriol asked.
"Eriol…my daughter's in pain…"
Eriol stared at her. Then they both got up and went to find Himiko.
~~~~~
"YOU MADE HER CRY!?!?!?!?!"
"No!!!!!!! I said that I thought she might start to cry!"
Kozue was frantic when Shun told her about Himiko. They were in Kozue's room, she was lying on her bed and looking at her younger brother and Shun was sitting in her chair.
"Wow, Gaki Jr.… I didn't think you're heart was that cold…" Kero said. Unfortunately for Shun, Kero was also there next to Kozue.
Shun sighed. "I didn't make her cry! And my name isn't Gaki Jr.!"
Kozue sat on her bed. "Look, you just make sure you don't break her heart or cause her pain or anything like that!" she said pointing at her brother.
"Why?! I didn't even do anything!" he said grumpily.
"Unfortunately I can't tell you why! But, I can tell you this! I don't know why she would defend you when I said you were cold-hearted! I told her that you were a grumpy know-it-all, but she said you showed a side to her that you never showed to others. But, right now it's impossible to believe."
Shun glared at her sister. "I didn't do anything!!!"
"Look Shun, you're my little brother. I'm just advising you not to hurt this girl like you've hurt every other girl in school. I'm just looking out for you."
"You know nothing about school. Those are just rumors!"
"Shun, just don't hurt her, you hear?"
"I suggest Gaki Jr. to lighten up a bit, too," Kero added.
"My name is NOT Gaki Jr.! And stop telling me what to-" Shun stopped at mid-sentence.
He got a painful stab inside him. It felt like someone had stabbed him with a sword. Suddenly he got an image of Himiko in his head.
"Shun? You okay?" Kozue asked waving her hand in front of him.
"Jeez…He gets weirder and weirder. Just like his father," Kero mused.
Shun snapped out of it. He held his chest, where it hurt. It was right over his heart.
"SHUN! What's wrong?!" Kozue said worriedly.
"Kid, talk to us!" Kero shouted.
He stood up. "I gotta go. Himiko's in pain." Then he ran out of the room and out of the house before anyone could asked what was wrong.
~~~~~
'Himiko…what's wrong? Why are you acting this way? Why are you in pain? Did I do something?' Shun ran as fast as he could following her aura.
~~~~~
"Eriol, where is she?" Tomoyo asked running as fast as she could, following her husband.
Eriol felt her aura. "Follow me!"
They kept on running until they reached a small park. Tomoyo remembered the park. It was the park where she and Sakura had taken Shun and Himiko to when they were kids. They heard sobbing.
"There she is!" Tomoyo whispered.
Eriol held her back.
"What?"
Eriol pointed. "Look…"
Shun had just ran into the park through some bushes and was panting in front of Himiko.
Eriol quickly pulled her wife and himself behind some bushes.
"Awwww…Eriol! KAWAII!!!" Tomoyo whispered with stars in her eyes.
Eriol just sweat dropped and watched.
~~~~~
Shun stood in front of Himiko's swing, panting hard. He had run as fast as he could to get here.
"Sh-Shun?" Himiko whispered.
"Himiko."
"What are you doing here?" Himiko asked.
"I could ask the same question."
Himiko looked down.
"Himiko, please, tell me what's wrong!"
"Shun…"
"Himiko tell me!"
"I can't…"
"Why?! Did I do something? Did I cause you pain? What did I do?" Shun said desperately.
"No…"
"Then what's wrong?"
"…I caused you pain…"
"What? What are you talking about?"
Himiko stood up from the swing.
"Shun…"
"What's wrong? Tell me what's wrong."
"I can't say it…it hurts…even to remember…I don't know why…it hurts this much…It's my fault that you…"
Himiko broke down crying. Tears fell to the ground. And her eyes were wet with sadness.
"Shun, it's all my fault…"
"Himiko…"
Shun couldn't bear to see her like this. He felt drawn to her for some unknown reason. Then Shun suddenly put his arms around her, hugging her, consoling her. He whispered gently into her ear.
"Look, I know you won't tell me what the matter is…but, whatever happens…I'll be here for you."
Himiko nodded and calmed down a bit. She held onto Shun gratefully.
"…Thank you…"
'Let's just hope that dream won't happen…'
~~~~~
Tomoyo had tears in her eyes.
"Eriol…that's so magical!" she whispered.
Eriol grinned. "Looks like our little girl isn't so little anymore."
"And can you imagine Shun doing that? The cold-hearted, mean, selfish, cruel Shun we know and love?"
"I think I can get used to this Shun I'm seeing now better."
Tomoyo nodded in agreement.
~~~~~
Shun and Himiko stayed in their positions, not wanting to leave.
Himiko felt Shun's sweet breath on her and she liked how it felt when Shun's strong arms held her. She felt protected and safe.
Shun was also liking this moment. He loved Himiko's gentle touch and the way her hair ruffled across his face in the breeze.
Himiko looked into his eyes, taking in his dark emerald eyes with a tint of amber in them. And Shun was looking straight into her eyes also admiring her sparkling, blue eyes.
Suddenly magnetism took action. Their lips went closer together and less space was in between them. Their thoughts went fuzzy, and they could only focus on one thing…each other.
They got closer…and closer…until…
"*ahem*"
They let go of each other and spun around to look at the person, both blushing their heads off.
"Ryu!"
~~~~~
Tomoyo fell anime style. Eriol sweat dropped.
"Nooo! Just when it was about to get good!" Tomoyo squealed.
"Hehe…calm down. I'm not sure if I want Himiko to start kissing already," Eriol said fatherly.
"Oh so now you get all over-protected? C'mon…you know you don't care…it's Shun for heavens sakes! It's not like he's going to do anything bad! Remember, Shun is just like Syaoran. Syaoran wouldn't have the guts to do anything at age thirteen!!!" Tomoyo said.
Eriol sweat dropped. "I-I guess you're right…"
"Darn Li Ryu…had to interrupt my daughter's special moment," Tomoyo muttered.
"Hey, he's just a kid."
Tomoyo was still fuming. "But he did that on purpose!!! He is sooo like Yurushi!!!"
Eriol sighed and patted her back. "Don't do anything drastic now to that poor kid."
"Ohohohohohohoho!!!"
~~~~~
"Ryu!" Shun said angrily.
Ryu looked at him coldly. "Oh, I'm sorry. Did I interrupt a making out lesson?"
Shun and Himiko turned even redder. "How…How dare you accuse us of doing something!" Shun yelled.
"Yeah, we weren't doing anything!" Himiko said.
But Ryu tuned Himiko out of his head. "Stay out of this, Himiko. This is between me and the unwanted Li."
"NANI!?" Shun yelled angrily.
"I told you…the unwanted Li."
Shun made his hands into fists, trying to control his anger.
"Who gives you the right to say that!?"
"Well think about it. No one in the family wants a complaining, cold-hearted, cruel, rude, arrogant…"
"Shut up!"
Ryu smirked. "I guess you admit that you're a cold-hearted person."
"…Fine I admit that. But I'm not always cold-hearted like you are always jealous…"
Ryu narrowed his eyes. "Don't dare start with me."
Shun didn't say anything. He was too steamed. Himiko watched, hoping nothing would happen.
"Alright…it's time to settle this," Ryu said taking out his sword.
"Let's…" Shun used magic to take his sword out as well.
"No! Stop this!!!"
Shun and Ryu looked at her. She was trembling so violently.
'This reminds me of my dream…' Himiko wondered. "Please…stop this…"
Shun stared at her and put his sword away. "Fine…it's stupid to fight here anyway…are you okay, Himiko?" he asked.
Himiko nodded, still trembling. Then she smiled warmly at Shun. "Thank you."
Shun blushed wildly.
~~~~~
'Li Shun…' Ryu looked at Shun. '…and Hiirigazawa Himiko…the girl I loved from the moment I saw her…' Ryu looked at Himiko. '…they…love each other…'
"DAMN YOU LI SHUN!" Shun and Himiko looked at Ryu's sudden outburst.
"What the hell did I do now?!" Shun asked.
He glared at him, "You…" then he stared at Himiko, "and her…"
Himiko blinked. "Huh?"
"I hate you Li Shun…" and with that Ryu ran away, his heart broken.
~~~~~
TO BE CONTINUED…
A/N: Awww…I kinda feel sorry for Ryu. He fell in love with Himiko at the first glance at her. ;__; hehe hope you like the story!!!! R+R!!!!!!