Hello. How are y'all doing out there. I'm living. But of course you will wonder, whom "I" refers to. Again, I guess you won't because Bryan would've told you. She always spoils the fun. But again, she cannot write about herself without mentioning me. Please pardon the rubbish, I don't get enough opportunities to be dramatic.
Anyway, I'm Jason. Jason Burkes, fifth year Slytherin. My father is a partner in Borgin and Burkes. But Mr. Borgin takes care of the selling. My father is just interested in the stuff. The danger involved excites him. You know, sort of like Weasel's father is interested in Muggle stuff. More specifically, fanatic about. My Dad is fanatic about danger, he says life is no fun without it. He's also the great great great grandson of Uric the Oddball. You know why, now!
I'm actually quite normal. I'm just one more guy who likes to irritate people, likes girls and loves Quidditch. But the Sorting Hat didn't put me into because I didn't fit in anything else. I'm not evil but sure I'm determined and I don't care about rules or authority. I'm not like I don't listen to authority but Slytherins are cunning, remember? And I'm ambitious all right. My only ambition in life is to…er dunk Weasel in the lake. I don't reveal all my secrets, mate.
OK, then what else do I say? I don't like Creevey either. Always Potter, Potter and Potter. And all of the Gryffindors are against Slytherins. So we all are also against them. Why shouldn't we be? I'm not saying it's their entire fault but look how Weasel reacted when I told her my name. Weasley was born in a bin ought to go to her. I know, I'm being rude – but you look at her from a Slytherin point of view, you'll know.
Here we, go directly now into my life
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Quit with the melodrama. I need to do my Astronomy Essay. Can you gimme yours?" said Bryan very practically.
She's always very practical. Mom says it's because she's a Capricorn. Her birthday's on January 13th. But Cappys are supposed to do their homework first and then only do anything else. That's what Mom says, I think it's rubbish. How can planets rule us?
"Sure, if you'll gimme your Charms" I replied.
We exchanged essays and put everything that the other had written in different order and form. It's hard to do Bryan's because she's got this natural flair for writing things where they oughtta be. I don't, so her essays all come neatly and mine are dumb to read. I keep comparing her to Granger to bug her but in reality, I'll bet my broomstick that Granger can never insult anyone on his or her face, except Malfoy. She's not a Slytherin, is she? Gryffindors can never match up to Slytherins, but I've got a great respect for Sirius Black and James Potter. They were cool, I've read about them in some book called "Coolest People" by some very cool guy (or girl). Professor Tonks is in there too. It's only about troublemakers. I intend to get in there, sometime. Fred and George Weasley are gonna get in there soon. They're OK too, they never did anything to US. Montague deserved what he got! Calling us – "squirts".
So, we reached Hogwarts and Mark got sorted into Gryffindor. I didn't believe it. Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff might've been OK, but not Gryffindor. That's really dumb. I hate Gryffindors, but Bry doesn't mind them. She likes to torture Weasel and the Creeveys but she doesn't dislike them as much as I do. I don't hate them actually, they're too dumb to make me feel any kind of strong emotion.
I'm beginning to feel stuffy now, talking like this. Bry's already told ya everything about me. Oh yeah, she hasn't told you how I look, I have black hair and brown eyes. I'm very good looking you know. Really, if I 'd been in any other house, I'd have had plenty of people after me. Now, there are only Slytherins. They look dumb.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We finished the first day. Professor Tonks is like, radical. Wow! She's got short green hair today. And she's the best looking teacher in the school, the only one below fifty, I'll say.
We've got plenty of homework, now I gotta go. OWL year, you know. The teachers have fed it into my brain by now!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm back. By the way, you haven't heard the breaking news. Voldemort has risen again. Fudge made the declaration. Finally, people believe Harry Potter and Dumbledore. I, actually always did. So did Bryan. But we don't offer direct support to Gryffindors, do we? I'm not really into the pure blood stuff, I wasn't brought up like that. My parents have no opinion on it, I think it's silly. If you have magic in your blood, you have magic. That's all.
That's all I gotta say. You know, I told you a lot more than Bryan, not just what I speak like!
Anyway, I'm Jason. Jason Burkes, fifth year Slytherin. My father is a partner in Borgin and Burkes. But Mr. Borgin takes care of the selling. My father is just interested in the stuff. The danger involved excites him. You know, sort of like Weasel's father is interested in Muggle stuff. More specifically, fanatic about. My Dad is fanatic about danger, he says life is no fun without it. He's also the great great great grandson of Uric the Oddball. You know why, now!
I'm actually quite normal. I'm just one more guy who likes to irritate people, likes girls and loves Quidditch. But the Sorting Hat didn't put me into because I didn't fit in anything else. I'm not evil but sure I'm determined and I don't care about rules or authority. I'm not like I don't listen to authority but Slytherins are cunning, remember? And I'm ambitious all right. My only ambition in life is to…er dunk Weasel in the lake. I don't reveal all my secrets, mate.
OK, then what else do I say? I don't like Creevey either. Always Potter, Potter and Potter. And all of the Gryffindors are against Slytherins. So we all are also against them. Why shouldn't we be? I'm not saying it's their entire fault but look how Weasel reacted when I told her my name. Weasley was born in a bin ought to go to her. I know, I'm being rude – but you look at her from a Slytherin point of view, you'll know.
Here we, go directly now into my life
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Quit with the melodrama. I need to do my Astronomy Essay. Can you gimme yours?" said Bryan very practically.
She's always very practical. Mom says it's because she's a Capricorn. Her birthday's on January 13th. But Cappys are supposed to do their homework first and then only do anything else. That's what Mom says, I think it's rubbish. How can planets rule us?
"Sure, if you'll gimme your Charms" I replied.
We exchanged essays and put everything that the other had written in different order and form. It's hard to do Bryan's because she's got this natural flair for writing things where they oughtta be. I don't, so her essays all come neatly and mine are dumb to read. I keep comparing her to Granger to bug her but in reality, I'll bet my broomstick that Granger can never insult anyone on his or her face, except Malfoy. She's not a Slytherin, is she? Gryffindors can never match up to Slytherins, but I've got a great respect for Sirius Black and James Potter. They were cool, I've read about them in some book called "Coolest People" by some very cool guy (or girl). Professor Tonks is in there too. It's only about troublemakers. I intend to get in there, sometime. Fred and George Weasley are gonna get in there soon. They're OK too, they never did anything to US. Montague deserved what he got! Calling us – "squirts".
So, we reached Hogwarts and Mark got sorted into Gryffindor. I didn't believe it. Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff might've been OK, but not Gryffindor. That's really dumb. I hate Gryffindors, but Bry doesn't mind them. She likes to torture Weasel and the Creeveys but she doesn't dislike them as much as I do. I don't hate them actually, they're too dumb to make me feel any kind of strong emotion.
I'm beginning to feel stuffy now, talking like this. Bry's already told ya everything about me. Oh yeah, she hasn't told you how I look, I have black hair and brown eyes. I'm very good looking you know. Really, if I 'd been in any other house, I'd have had plenty of people after me. Now, there are only Slytherins. They look dumb.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We finished the first day. Professor Tonks is like, radical. Wow! She's got short green hair today. And she's the best looking teacher in the school, the only one below fifty, I'll say.
We've got plenty of homework, now I gotta go. OWL year, you know. The teachers have fed it into my brain by now!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm back. By the way, you haven't heard the breaking news. Voldemort has risen again. Fudge made the declaration. Finally, people believe Harry Potter and Dumbledore. I, actually always did. So did Bryan. But we don't offer direct support to Gryffindors, do we? I'm not really into the pure blood stuff, I wasn't brought up like that. My parents have no opinion on it, I think it's silly. If you have magic in your blood, you have magic. That's all.
That's all I gotta say. You know, I told you a lot more than Bryan, not just what I speak like!