Lily walked happily with James towards a flower shop. They met Ashley on
the way.
"Hello Ashley." Said Lily kindly.
"Hi." Said Ashley shyly. Lily offered Ashley her hand.
"Mss. Lily whats that?" asked Ashley. She pointed to the dark mark on Lilys fore arm. Lily winced. "That's a tattoo that a really bad man gave me." Said Lily.
"And Mss. Lily did you know that bad man killed my mum?" asked Ashley innocently. Lily stared in horror. Blood started to come onto her hands.
"And he told me to bring you to him. He hit me a lot." Said Ashley as if she was talking about the weather. Scars appeared on those innocent white arms of Ashleys. Everything around Lily began to spin and Ashley and her were the only un spinning things. Lucious Malfoys face came into view taunting her. Her parents voices could be heard telling her how disappointed they were about her. Lily knelt to the ground covering her ears with her hands.
"No, no, no!" Lily exclaimed tears running down her eyes.
"And all because of you Mss. Yes all because of you." Said Ashley innocently. "And then he killed me Mss. Just because I refused to help him." And Ashley fell to the floor blood seeping out of her head.
* * *
Lily awoke with a start in bed. Cold sweat poured down her face. Lily felt James stir beside her in the bed, She covered her mouth with her hand and ran to the bathroom and threw up in the toilet. Lily felt sick. She wiped her mouth with her hand and sighed. She slumped back against the wall of the bathroom and sank down on the cold tile floor and covered her head in her hands.
"Oh my God." Lily whispered. Getting up she went towards the kitchen for a drink of water. Sirius sat there eating the pie Lily had baked that night.
"Sirius!" exclaimed Lily. "We were going to eat that for dinner!" Sirius shrugged and forked a piece. "Oh well.whats wrong have a nightmare?" he asked. Lily had been having these for sometime now.
Lily nodded. "and sickness." Lily added. "Those nightmares are just so sick.they make me wanna throw up." She got herself a glass of water and sat down. Sirius smoothed back her hair from her forehead.
"It's O.K." he said soothingly. "Don't worry. If you want we can get a dreamless sleep potion."
"No." said Lily. "I'm fine. It's just that these dreams.will they plague me for the rest of my life?" Lily asked miserably.
Sirius shrugged. "As long as you keep haunting yourself Lily. Forget about the past and whats happened. Look forward to what's GOING to happen."
Lily nodded. "Thanks Siri." Said Lily. She gave him a peck on the cheek and left for her and James room. Lily and James had decided to keep one room. They weren't married yet but James was planning on asking her. It had become more like second nature for the both of them to see each other as first thing they saw in the morning and last thing to see before you go to sleep at night. The nights James was away Lily would toss and turn before finally falling asleep. Lily slipped into bed and James slung an arm around her waist.
"Where were you?" he asked.
"Nightmare." Lily replied.
"Did you vomit again?" asked James. Lily nodded.
James sighed. "Lily I want you to see a doctor."
"I'm fine." Lily protested. "It's just-"
"Lily please?" James pleaded. "All this vomiting isn't good for you. You could get seriously sick. You've been looking weak for sometime now."
"Have not." Lily replied. "I eat like a horse."
"And still stay extremely thin." James pointed out. "Because you vomit out all the food you eat Lily. And you've been having severe weakness attacks all over the place."
"Have not." Said Lily moodily.
"If you run to much or even if you stand for sometime you get dizzy and need to sit down.Lily I think you're seriously sick." James trailed of. Lily sighed in defeat. "O.K. fine I'll go see a medi wizard tomorrow happy?" asked Lily.
"Yes." Said James. He kissed her temple and went back to sleep.
* * *
Lily walked into St. Mungos in a white sleeveless tank top and jeans. She'd covered the dark mark with a strong concealing spell. She had her check up done and waited for the results. Luscious Malfoy walked in holding her checkup file.
"They'll be wanting this won't they?" asked Malfoy maliciously.
"What do you want?" Lily spat jumping to her feet. She suddenly felt a weakness attack come over her.
"Just to see why you're here." He said and opened her file. "Dizziness, vomiting, might be weakness.tsk, tsk Lily the Dark Lord does not like his servants being weak."
"I am not his servant!" Lily yelled and put a hand to her head because of the dizziness. She used her powers to take the file back making it fly into her hand. She then made Malfoy fly back into the wall opposite. Malfoy stood up glaring at Lily and the doctor came in.
"This man is harassing me!" Lily yelled. She had to sit down then because she was so dizzy and using her powers made her feel faint.
"I'm leaving." Said Malfoy. "In a minute." He walked over to Lily and whispered.
"I'll be waiting." This is why Lily felt no guilt when she threw up on him.
"Damn!" Malfoy yelled. "These were Williams & Weras designer clothes!" he yelled and ran of.
"You bastard!" Lily yelled after him. She got up suddenly and made a move to run after Malfoy.
"Easy Mrs. Potter." Said the doctor.
"It's Evans not Potter." Said Lily.
"Oh sorry I didn't know you kept your maiden name after marriage."
"No doctor I'm not married." Said Lily angrily.
The doctor paled. "Y-you're not?"
"No. James hasn't asked me-yet." Said Lily. "DO you have a problem?"
"No. NO problem. Don't get mad.not good for your condition."
"What's wrong with me doctor?" asked Lily.
"Nothing fatal. You'll have to rest awhile.."
* * *
Lily stepped out of St. Mungos in a daze and apparated home. James sat there reading the daily prophet while Sirius ate some pie. Lily for once didn't scold him.
"Lily what did the doctor say?" asked James. Lily walked past him and into their room. She dropped her file to the bedroom floor and sunk down onto the carpet. James opened the door and walked in.
"Lils it's nothing fatal is it?" asked James.
"No." Lily said quietly and shook her head.
"Then?" James prompted as Sirius walked in and sat on her other side. Lily leaned into James embrace as Sirius smoothed back her hair.
"Then what is it?" asked Sirius. Lily ignored the question and traced little patterns on James forearm where the dark mark stood.
"You got that because of me." Lily whispered.
"Lily." Said James sternly. "It was my own choice."
"But if you hadn't loved me you wouldn't have gotten it." Lily replied. "I'm sorry."
"Lily!" James exclaimed. "Don't talk like that."
"What's wrong?" asked Sirius. "Lils tell us. Aren't I your best friend?" he asked making a puppy dog face. Lily laughed. "You're my best friend and the big brother I never had Sirius."
"Then tell us." He said. Lily heaved a big sigh.
"I'm pregnant."
There was a stunned silence as James and Sirius dissolved this information.
James cheek was against Lilys as she sat in his lap on the floor.
"And the babys mine?" asked James and Lily could've sworn there was a hint of hopefulness in it. Lily nodded. He suddenly stood up and spun Lily around.
"You're serious right?" he asked smiling. "This isn't some joke right?"
"Right." Said Lily as he spun her around in his arms.
"Lily I only have one thing to say and that's that we should get married as soon as possible!" James exclaimed and hugged her. "Why didn't you tell me before? You know I would've been happy."
"I was still in shock though." Said Lily. "To tell you the truth I wasn't sure if I wanted a baby or not."
"Sirius we want YOU to be the godfather of our child." Said James.
"Yes! I've been asking that question ever since school." Said Sirius.
"I'm going to call Remus and Peter!" James exclaimed and kept a tight hold on Lilys hand. Lily grabbed Siriuses hand with her free one. She truly felt at peace. This.this was her REAL family.
Not those deatheaters and the Dark Lord.they'd used her for her powers.
But they also gave you power.
Lilys eyes shot up as she searched for the owner of the voice.
You can't see me Lily.
'Who are you.' Lily asked in her head.
Someone.who'll be around for a long time.
What do you want from me?
Your soul.
* * *
"My lord." Lucious said bowing low. "Your suspicions were confirmed." Voldemort stared out at the land stretching around him. He stood in his tower watching the setting sun.
"And will the plan be put into action?" asked Voldemort. Malfoy gave a creul smile. * * * Peter and Remus were over. And Lily thought she was going crazy. The voice just wouldn't leave her.
The dark lord will take you back. There's still time. He is merciful and will forgive you.
Never. Lily replied fiercely.
You had it all. Money, Power, a family, people obeying your every command and you gave it all up.for what? The voice sounded disgusted. For a few friends and the man who broke your heart?
That was a long time ago. Lily replied in her head. And besides you broke up with me to protect me. He was afraid that he was putting my life in danger.
But aren't YOU putting his life in danger now?
No
Yes you are. You don't love him. You're putting his life in danger.
No I'm not.
Yes you are You know he'd die for you. He'd die to protect you. He'd kill to protect you. He even might join the other side to protect you.
"NO!" Lily exclaimed out loud and dropped the knife she'd been using to cut up a salad.
"O.K. so yellows out of the question." Said James after hearing Lilys exclamation. "I thought it would be a nice color for the baby's room though." Said James smiling. " Sorry James." Lily trailed of. "I-I um-don't feel well." James gave her a sympathetic look.
"Why don't you go lay down for awhile?" he asked sincerely. Lily shook her head. "I'm fine." She said.
"Lily no go lay down. If you don't feel well you should rest." Said James. He got up and walked over to her. "It's not good for the baby." He said and put a hand on her stomach. He gave her a rare smile.the special one he used for her and usto use to make girls swoon. Lily remembered those days.days when she was care free and not involved in any of this death eater shit. Days when James and her were free to love each other without some dark lord interfering. Days when her parents were alive. A single tear fell down her cheek. James wiped it away.
"Come on." He said and scooped her up in his arms. He carried her into the room and laid her down on the bed. "Now you rest." He said putting a blanket over her. He stroked her hair for a minute or so and then kissed her forehead.
"Every ones out there and it looks bad if the both of us are in here." Said Lily. "we're the hosts."
"Sirius is out there and Remus and Peter are like family." James pointed out.
"But you should go back there." Said Lily. James nodded and got up to leave. Lily rolled onto her side and closed her eyes.
Traitor. Mudblood. Murderer. You killed your parents. If the dark lord hadn't been after you they would have been alive today. It's your fault.all your fault.
No, no, no, no. Lily thought to herself. She tossed and turned in bed. She fell asleep with these words echoing in her ears and tears streaming down he face.
* * *
"Lily is something wrong?" asked James the next day. Lily dropped her carrot.
"N-no nothings wrong." Said Lily. "What makes you think something's wrong?"
"Well for one you put the juice in my coffee and milk in your glass." Said James grinning. Lily gave a small laugh.
"Ready to go shopping?" asked James. Lily nodded.
You're killing him. If he dies it's your fault.
Lily knocked over the pitcher of juice.
"Damn!" she muttered as the juice spread all over the table cloth and onto her white dress.
"I'll clean this up." Said James. "You go change."
Lily nodded and left to change. She changed into a black robe with a splash of white flowers across it. The sleeves were half so she decided to cover the dark mark with makeup. Going into the bathroom she washed her hands to clean them of any juice that was left on them.
Even if you don't like it you will always be linked to the dark lord. His mark is upon you. You two are linked.
No. Lily thought. You're wrong. We are NOT linked.
He knows where you are. Your every move, every thought, every hope, every dream and knows every predicament your in. He can easily barge in and kill all of your friends. He can kill anyone.
Lily shook her head. She stared at the dark mark and started scrubbing it with soap.
It won't come of. Not ever. It'll stay there as a reminder of how you betrayed everyone. As a reminder that you killed your parents. Some marks never come of.this is one of them.
Lily scrubbed harder and scratched at the mark with her fingernails.
"Come of." She sobbed. "Why won't it come off?"
Her forearm was completely scratched up and blood was coming out. Lily sank to the floor.
You've become weak. You were never like this when you were with the dark lord. James Potter has made you weak. You were not meant to be weak. This dark mark is a sign that you are strong. Come back to the Dark lord and you shall become strong again. His mark implores you to. There was a knock on the door.
"Lily!" James called. "Can I come in?!"
"Wait a minute!" Lily called in a hoarse voice. She frantically scrubbed harder at the dark mark wincing from the pain. Blood mixed in with the soap and Lily was surprised she could withstand so much pain. Part of her training had been to withstand pain.she'd been taught not to break.not to be weak. And here she was. Being weak.
"Come on Lily its nothing I haven't seen before!" James called teasingly. Lily gave a strangled sob as she saw that beneath her skin was the dark mark again. It was there and refusing to leave.
You've become weak. You're no use to anyone. Everyone should forget about you.
'I'm going crazy.' Lily thought to herself.
You can't rip the mark of your flesh. It's there for all times to come.
"No!" Lily exclaimed and took a small pen knife out.
"Lily?" James voice came from the other side. His voice was now startled and concerned. "Are you O.K?"
Lily didn't reply. She began to cut at the dark mark with her knife. James banged harder on the door.
"Lily open the door!" James exclaimed. Lily bit her lip.
Traitor. Murderer.wait what are you doing?
'What does it look like.' Lily replied in her mind and she created a perfect circle around the dark mark.
Are you crazy?
Damn straight.
The knife suddenly slipped from her hands and she was brought back to reality as the voice shut up. The door banged open and James stepped in. He stared in horror at her arm where the dark mark was cut up.
"It won't come of." Lily sobbed. "It won't come of. Oh God James help me I think I'm going crazy." Lily sobbed. James knelt down beside her.
"What happened?" he asked putting an arm around her. "I've gone mad James. I swear I've gone mad. I-I-" she broke down into sobs as James hugged her. He healed her forearm and cleaned up the blood.
"What happened?" he asked as he lead Lily into the bedroom. Lily sat down on the desk chair and put her head in her hands.
"I don't know. I think I just had a nervous breakdown." She muttered. James sat opposite to her and moved her hands away from her head.
"Why do you haunt yourself about the past? Besides its not good for the baby. Why do you torture yourself like this?" he asked.
"I don't haunt it.it haunts me." Said Lily matter of factly. She sighed. "I'm fine now though. Lets go shopping." James stared at her skeptically.
"I'm fine." Lily persisted getting a little angry.
James quietly got up and both walked out.
* * *
Lily sat in her home and brushed her hair. She felt her skin glow like it usually did when a woman was pregnant. She smiled and touched her stomach.
The babys a death eater. A servant of the dark lord.
Lilys smile was wiped of her face.
It deserves to die. The moment you bring it into this world it will die.
No Yes. Bring it. Bring it to the Dark Lord. He'll protect it. Bring it. Come back to the winning side.
Never Lily replied.
Look outside your window.
Lily did as she was told. A whole band of deatheaters were torturing little children. Lily opened her window but when she did she saw nothing.
A minor illusion that can become real. It can happen to your baby. It can happen to Ashley.
No. Stop. Leave me alone.
An image came to Lily. A small baby was being shunned by society for being the arents of two people who were linked to Voldemort.
This is what will happen if you come to us.
An image of her standing infront of a whole fleet of death eaters was there. A little baby sat safely in his home playing.
James entered the apartment with Sirius by his side.
"Think she'll like it?" asked James. The ring had three huge diamonds in a triangular shape.
"she'd be crazy to hate it." Sirius replied.
"Lily! Come out! I need to show you something!" James called. No reply. Shrugging James went into his room and let out a strangled cry.
"Sirius!" he yelled. The whole room was a mess. Clothes were everywhere and the table was upturned. Nothing belonging to Lily could be found.
"She-she couldn't leave.she just couldn't." James muttered. Sirius spotted a letter on the chair.
Dear James and Sirius, it read. Don't try to look for me. I'll love you both always.
Lily.
"No." James muttered and dropped the ring box. "No." he shook his head and felt the world spinning around him.
* * *
Lord Voldemort smiled. "Mission complete." Said Lucious Malfoy.
"It worked. I knew it would." Said Voldemort.
"Wh-what do you mean?" came a small scared voice from behind Voldemort.
"Wormtail you must understand.all this was planned." Said Voldemort lazily. "Lilys parents dieing, her meeting James.her betraying me. I planned it all. After I had carefully studied her for seven whole years I knew her reactions to everything.I knew when and how she could be pushed to far and she has been pushed to far, She'll surrender to us now. But its not her I want.it's that damn baby."
"Wh-why?" Wormtail asked. Voldemort was about to reply when a medi wizard came in.
"The spell has been performed." He said. "Her bad side has dominated over the good. From now on her good side will be locked up in a corner of her brain preventing her from.betraying you again and she can even kill now."
"are you sure?" Voldemort demanded. The mediwizard nodded. "Her good side is no more than a small voice she wants to swat down.ofcourse now she also wants an abortion."
"What?!" Voldemort thundered. "Send her in NOW!"
"My lord." Said Malfoy startled. "Why so angry?"
"All this planning you fool. It wasn't for her it was for the baby. I needed Potter to have the dark mark branded on him so I could use the baby without his or Lilys permission. Both are now linked to me. No magic holds me back now."
"I know that my lord. That's why you had me bring Potter along when I kidnapped Lily." Said Malfoy. The pieces were slowly fitting in now. Voldemort had also LET them escape. Lily walked in suddenly.
"My Lord." She replied and bowed low.
"I trust your loyalty shall not waver me.again." Was Voldemorts reply.
"Never." Lily confirmed in a robotic voice.
A/N: How was this chapter? Hmmm? REVIEW and tell me! How many people hate me? This chapter turned out longer than I wanted..there were some other things I wanted to happen in this chap but its long enough already.9 pages to be exact.next chapter = tons of flames...don't flame me..you guys are seriously going to hate me!
"Hello Ashley." Said Lily kindly.
"Hi." Said Ashley shyly. Lily offered Ashley her hand.
"Mss. Lily whats that?" asked Ashley. She pointed to the dark mark on Lilys fore arm. Lily winced. "That's a tattoo that a really bad man gave me." Said Lily.
"And Mss. Lily did you know that bad man killed my mum?" asked Ashley innocently. Lily stared in horror. Blood started to come onto her hands.
"And he told me to bring you to him. He hit me a lot." Said Ashley as if she was talking about the weather. Scars appeared on those innocent white arms of Ashleys. Everything around Lily began to spin and Ashley and her were the only un spinning things. Lucious Malfoys face came into view taunting her. Her parents voices could be heard telling her how disappointed they were about her. Lily knelt to the ground covering her ears with her hands.
"No, no, no!" Lily exclaimed tears running down her eyes.
"And all because of you Mss. Yes all because of you." Said Ashley innocently. "And then he killed me Mss. Just because I refused to help him." And Ashley fell to the floor blood seeping out of her head.
* * *
Lily awoke with a start in bed. Cold sweat poured down her face. Lily felt James stir beside her in the bed, She covered her mouth with her hand and ran to the bathroom and threw up in the toilet. Lily felt sick. She wiped her mouth with her hand and sighed. She slumped back against the wall of the bathroom and sank down on the cold tile floor and covered her head in her hands.
"Oh my God." Lily whispered. Getting up she went towards the kitchen for a drink of water. Sirius sat there eating the pie Lily had baked that night.
"Sirius!" exclaimed Lily. "We were going to eat that for dinner!" Sirius shrugged and forked a piece. "Oh well.whats wrong have a nightmare?" he asked. Lily had been having these for sometime now.
Lily nodded. "and sickness." Lily added. "Those nightmares are just so sick.they make me wanna throw up." She got herself a glass of water and sat down. Sirius smoothed back her hair from her forehead.
"It's O.K." he said soothingly. "Don't worry. If you want we can get a dreamless sleep potion."
"No." said Lily. "I'm fine. It's just that these dreams.will they plague me for the rest of my life?" Lily asked miserably.
Sirius shrugged. "As long as you keep haunting yourself Lily. Forget about the past and whats happened. Look forward to what's GOING to happen."
Lily nodded. "Thanks Siri." Said Lily. She gave him a peck on the cheek and left for her and James room. Lily and James had decided to keep one room. They weren't married yet but James was planning on asking her. It had become more like second nature for the both of them to see each other as first thing they saw in the morning and last thing to see before you go to sleep at night. The nights James was away Lily would toss and turn before finally falling asleep. Lily slipped into bed and James slung an arm around her waist.
"Where were you?" he asked.
"Nightmare." Lily replied.
"Did you vomit again?" asked James. Lily nodded.
James sighed. "Lily I want you to see a doctor."
"I'm fine." Lily protested. "It's just-"
"Lily please?" James pleaded. "All this vomiting isn't good for you. You could get seriously sick. You've been looking weak for sometime now."
"Have not." Lily replied. "I eat like a horse."
"And still stay extremely thin." James pointed out. "Because you vomit out all the food you eat Lily. And you've been having severe weakness attacks all over the place."
"Have not." Said Lily moodily.
"If you run to much or even if you stand for sometime you get dizzy and need to sit down.Lily I think you're seriously sick." James trailed of. Lily sighed in defeat. "O.K. fine I'll go see a medi wizard tomorrow happy?" asked Lily.
"Yes." Said James. He kissed her temple and went back to sleep.
* * *
Lily walked into St. Mungos in a white sleeveless tank top and jeans. She'd covered the dark mark with a strong concealing spell. She had her check up done and waited for the results. Luscious Malfoy walked in holding her checkup file.
"They'll be wanting this won't they?" asked Malfoy maliciously.
"What do you want?" Lily spat jumping to her feet. She suddenly felt a weakness attack come over her.
"Just to see why you're here." He said and opened her file. "Dizziness, vomiting, might be weakness.tsk, tsk Lily the Dark Lord does not like his servants being weak."
"I am not his servant!" Lily yelled and put a hand to her head because of the dizziness. She used her powers to take the file back making it fly into her hand. She then made Malfoy fly back into the wall opposite. Malfoy stood up glaring at Lily and the doctor came in.
"This man is harassing me!" Lily yelled. She had to sit down then because she was so dizzy and using her powers made her feel faint.
"I'm leaving." Said Malfoy. "In a minute." He walked over to Lily and whispered.
"I'll be waiting." This is why Lily felt no guilt when she threw up on him.
"Damn!" Malfoy yelled. "These were Williams & Weras designer clothes!" he yelled and ran of.
"You bastard!" Lily yelled after him. She got up suddenly and made a move to run after Malfoy.
"Easy Mrs. Potter." Said the doctor.
"It's Evans not Potter." Said Lily.
"Oh sorry I didn't know you kept your maiden name after marriage."
"No doctor I'm not married." Said Lily angrily.
The doctor paled. "Y-you're not?"
"No. James hasn't asked me-yet." Said Lily. "DO you have a problem?"
"No. NO problem. Don't get mad.not good for your condition."
"What's wrong with me doctor?" asked Lily.
"Nothing fatal. You'll have to rest awhile.."
* * *
Lily stepped out of St. Mungos in a daze and apparated home. James sat there reading the daily prophet while Sirius ate some pie. Lily for once didn't scold him.
"Lily what did the doctor say?" asked James. Lily walked past him and into their room. She dropped her file to the bedroom floor and sunk down onto the carpet. James opened the door and walked in.
"Lils it's nothing fatal is it?" asked James.
"No." Lily said quietly and shook her head.
"Then?" James prompted as Sirius walked in and sat on her other side. Lily leaned into James embrace as Sirius smoothed back her hair.
"Then what is it?" asked Sirius. Lily ignored the question and traced little patterns on James forearm where the dark mark stood.
"You got that because of me." Lily whispered.
"Lily." Said James sternly. "It was my own choice."
"But if you hadn't loved me you wouldn't have gotten it." Lily replied. "I'm sorry."
"Lily!" James exclaimed. "Don't talk like that."
"What's wrong?" asked Sirius. "Lils tell us. Aren't I your best friend?" he asked making a puppy dog face. Lily laughed. "You're my best friend and the big brother I never had Sirius."
"Then tell us." He said. Lily heaved a big sigh.
"I'm pregnant."
There was a stunned silence as James and Sirius dissolved this information.
James cheek was against Lilys as she sat in his lap on the floor.
"And the babys mine?" asked James and Lily could've sworn there was a hint of hopefulness in it. Lily nodded. He suddenly stood up and spun Lily around.
"You're serious right?" he asked smiling. "This isn't some joke right?"
"Right." Said Lily as he spun her around in his arms.
"Lily I only have one thing to say and that's that we should get married as soon as possible!" James exclaimed and hugged her. "Why didn't you tell me before? You know I would've been happy."
"I was still in shock though." Said Lily. "To tell you the truth I wasn't sure if I wanted a baby or not."
"Sirius we want YOU to be the godfather of our child." Said James.
"Yes! I've been asking that question ever since school." Said Sirius.
"I'm going to call Remus and Peter!" James exclaimed and kept a tight hold on Lilys hand. Lily grabbed Siriuses hand with her free one. She truly felt at peace. This.this was her REAL family.
Not those deatheaters and the Dark Lord.they'd used her for her powers.
But they also gave you power.
Lilys eyes shot up as she searched for the owner of the voice.
You can't see me Lily.
'Who are you.' Lily asked in her head.
Someone.who'll be around for a long time.
What do you want from me?
Your soul.
* * *
"My lord." Lucious said bowing low. "Your suspicions were confirmed." Voldemort stared out at the land stretching around him. He stood in his tower watching the setting sun.
"And will the plan be put into action?" asked Voldemort. Malfoy gave a creul smile. * * * Peter and Remus were over. And Lily thought she was going crazy. The voice just wouldn't leave her.
The dark lord will take you back. There's still time. He is merciful and will forgive you.
Never. Lily replied fiercely.
You had it all. Money, Power, a family, people obeying your every command and you gave it all up.for what? The voice sounded disgusted. For a few friends and the man who broke your heart?
That was a long time ago. Lily replied in her head. And besides you broke up with me to protect me. He was afraid that he was putting my life in danger.
But aren't YOU putting his life in danger now?
No
Yes you are. You don't love him. You're putting his life in danger.
No I'm not.
Yes you are You know he'd die for you. He'd die to protect you. He'd kill to protect you. He even might join the other side to protect you.
"NO!" Lily exclaimed out loud and dropped the knife she'd been using to cut up a salad.
"O.K. so yellows out of the question." Said James after hearing Lilys exclamation. "I thought it would be a nice color for the baby's room though." Said James smiling. " Sorry James." Lily trailed of. "I-I um-don't feel well." James gave her a sympathetic look.
"Why don't you go lay down for awhile?" he asked sincerely. Lily shook her head. "I'm fine." She said.
"Lily no go lay down. If you don't feel well you should rest." Said James. He got up and walked over to her. "It's not good for the baby." He said and put a hand on her stomach. He gave her a rare smile.the special one he used for her and usto use to make girls swoon. Lily remembered those days.days when she was care free and not involved in any of this death eater shit. Days when James and her were free to love each other without some dark lord interfering. Days when her parents were alive. A single tear fell down her cheek. James wiped it away.
"Come on." He said and scooped her up in his arms. He carried her into the room and laid her down on the bed. "Now you rest." He said putting a blanket over her. He stroked her hair for a minute or so and then kissed her forehead.
"Every ones out there and it looks bad if the both of us are in here." Said Lily. "we're the hosts."
"Sirius is out there and Remus and Peter are like family." James pointed out.
"But you should go back there." Said Lily. James nodded and got up to leave. Lily rolled onto her side and closed her eyes.
Traitor. Mudblood. Murderer. You killed your parents. If the dark lord hadn't been after you they would have been alive today. It's your fault.all your fault.
No, no, no, no. Lily thought to herself. She tossed and turned in bed. She fell asleep with these words echoing in her ears and tears streaming down he face.
* * *
"Lily is something wrong?" asked James the next day. Lily dropped her carrot.
"N-no nothings wrong." Said Lily. "What makes you think something's wrong?"
"Well for one you put the juice in my coffee and milk in your glass." Said James grinning. Lily gave a small laugh.
"Ready to go shopping?" asked James. Lily nodded.
You're killing him. If he dies it's your fault.
Lily knocked over the pitcher of juice.
"Damn!" she muttered as the juice spread all over the table cloth and onto her white dress.
"I'll clean this up." Said James. "You go change."
Lily nodded and left to change. She changed into a black robe with a splash of white flowers across it. The sleeves were half so she decided to cover the dark mark with makeup. Going into the bathroom she washed her hands to clean them of any juice that was left on them.
Even if you don't like it you will always be linked to the dark lord. His mark is upon you. You two are linked.
No. Lily thought. You're wrong. We are NOT linked.
He knows where you are. Your every move, every thought, every hope, every dream and knows every predicament your in. He can easily barge in and kill all of your friends. He can kill anyone.
Lily shook her head. She stared at the dark mark and started scrubbing it with soap.
It won't come of. Not ever. It'll stay there as a reminder of how you betrayed everyone. As a reminder that you killed your parents. Some marks never come of.this is one of them.
Lily scrubbed harder and scratched at the mark with her fingernails.
"Come of." She sobbed. "Why won't it come off?"
Her forearm was completely scratched up and blood was coming out. Lily sank to the floor.
You've become weak. You were never like this when you were with the dark lord. James Potter has made you weak. You were not meant to be weak. This dark mark is a sign that you are strong. Come back to the Dark lord and you shall become strong again. His mark implores you to. There was a knock on the door.
"Lily!" James called. "Can I come in?!"
"Wait a minute!" Lily called in a hoarse voice. She frantically scrubbed harder at the dark mark wincing from the pain. Blood mixed in with the soap and Lily was surprised she could withstand so much pain. Part of her training had been to withstand pain.she'd been taught not to break.not to be weak. And here she was. Being weak.
"Come on Lily its nothing I haven't seen before!" James called teasingly. Lily gave a strangled sob as she saw that beneath her skin was the dark mark again. It was there and refusing to leave.
You've become weak. You're no use to anyone. Everyone should forget about you.
'I'm going crazy.' Lily thought to herself.
You can't rip the mark of your flesh. It's there for all times to come.
"No!" Lily exclaimed and took a small pen knife out.
"Lily?" James voice came from the other side. His voice was now startled and concerned. "Are you O.K?"
Lily didn't reply. She began to cut at the dark mark with her knife. James banged harder on the door.
"Lily open the door!" James exclaimed. Lily bit her lip.
Traitor. Murderer.wait what are you doing?
'What does it look like.' Lily replied in her mind and she created a perfect circle around the dark mark.
Are you crazy?
Damn straight.
The knife suddenly slipped from her hands and she was brought back to reality as the voice shut up. The door banged open and James stepped in. He stared in horror at her arm where the dark mark was cut up.
"It won't come of." Lily sobbed. "It won't come of. Oh God James help me I think I'm going crazy." Lily sobbed. James knelt down beside her.
"What happened?" he asked putting an arm around her. "I've gone mad James. I swear I've gone mad. I-I-" she broke down into sobs as James hugged her. He healed her forearm and cleaned up the blood.
"What happened?" he asked as he lead Lily into the bedroom. Lily sat down on the desk chair and put her head in her hands.
"I don't know. I think I just had a nervous breakdown." She muttered. James sat opposite to her and moved her hands away from her head.
"Why do you haunt yourself about the past? Besides its not good for the baby. Why do you torture yourself like this?" he asked.
"I don't haunt it.it haunts me." Said Lily matter of factly. She sighed. "I'm fine now though. Lets go shopping." James stared at her skeptically.
"I'm fine." Lily persisted getting a little angry.
James quietly got up and both walked out.
* * *
Lily sat in her home and brushed her hair. She felt her skin glow like it usually did when a woman was pregnant. She smiled and touched her stomach.
The babys a death eater. A servant of the dark lord.
Lilys smile was wiped of her face.
It deserves to die. The moment you bring it into this world it will die.
No Yes. Bring it. Bring it to the Dark Lord. He'll protect it. Bring it. Come back to the winning side.
Never Lily replied.
Look outside your window.
Lily did as she was told. A whole band of deatheaters were torturing little children. Lily opened her window but when she did she saw nothing.
A minor illusion that can become real. It can happen to your baby. It can happen to Ashley.
No. Stop. Leave me alone.
An image came to Lily. A small baby was being shunned by society for being the arents of two people who were linked to Voldemort.
This is what will happen if you come to us.
An image of her standing infront of a whole fleet of death eaters was there. A little baby sat safely in his home playing.
James entered the apartment with Sirius by his side.
"Think she'll like it?" asked James. The ring had three huge diamonds in a triangular shape.
"she'd be crazy to hate it." Sirius replied.
"Lily! Come out! I need to show you something!" James called. No reply. Shrugging James went into his room and let out a strangled cry.
"Sirius!" he yelled. The whole room was a mess. Clothes were everywhere and the table was upturned. Nothing belonging to Lily could be found.
"She-she couldn't leave.she just couldn't." James muttered. Sirius spotted a letter on the chair.
Dear James and Sirius, it read. Don't try to look for me. I'll love you both always.
Lily.
"No." James muttered and dropped the ring box. "No." he shook his head and felt the world spinning around him.
* * *
Lord Voldemort smiled. "Mission complete." Said Lucious Malfoy.
"It worked. I knew it would." Said Voldemort.
"Wh-what do you mean?" came a small scared voice from behind Voldemort.
"Wormtail you must understand.all this was planned." Said Voldemort lazily. "Lilys parents dieing, her meeting James.her betraying me. I planned it all. After I had carefully studied her for seven whole years I knew her reactions to everything.I knew when and how she could be pushed to far and she has been pushed to far, She'll surrender to us now. But its not her I want.it's that damn baby."
"Wh-why?" Wormtail asked. Voldemort was about to reply when a medi wizard came in.
"The spell has been performed." He said. "Her bad side has dominated over the good. From now on her good side will be locked up in a corner of her brain preventing her from.betraying you again and she can even kill now."
"are you sure?" Voldemort demanded. The mediwizard nodded. "Her good side is no more than a small voice she wants to swat down.ofcourse now she also wants an abortion."
"What?!" Voldemort thundered. "Send her in NOW!"
"My lord." Said Malfoy startled. "Why so angry?"
"All this planning you fool. It wasn't for her it was for the baby. I needed Potter to have the dark mark branded on him so I could use the baby without his or Lilys permission. Both are now linked to me. No magic holds me back now."
"I know that my lord. That's why you had me bring Potter along when I kidnapped Lily." Said Malfoy. The pieces were slowly fitting in now. Voldemort had also LET them escape. Lily walked in suddenly.
"My Lord." She replied and bowed low.
"I trust your loyalty shall not waver me.again." Was Voldemorts reply.
"Never." Lily confirmed in a robotic voice.
A/N: How was this chapter? Hmmm? REVIEW and tell me! How many people hate me? This chapter turned out longer than I wanted..there were some other things I wanted to happen in this chap but its long enough already.9 pages to be exact.next chapter = tons of flames...don't flame me..you guys are seriously going to hate me!