He could feel it.......
He was slowly sinking into darkness
He was tired, so fucking tired
If he could just let go and say goodbye to his pathetic life, it would be so easy, to just never wake up again Just leave behind all the pain, leave every person who had ever laughed, pointed, or cowered in fear at the sight of him How had this happened How had he gotten into this situation? He couldn't remember anything but the black Not when it was so cold When had it gotten so cold.........? Oh well, whatever, its better then the truth That was before the pain, it took all of his strength not to scream and scream until his screams and the silence blended too one sound in his ears But he couldn't......... If he screamed he would never get out of this................ Blackness? Or whatever it was... He had to fight it Through the pain and the cold he thought he remembered something A hope for a better tomorrow............... It seemed like only a distant memory Cascading black Hair, a soft smell, the gentle caress of some ones gray eyes, the same color as a stormy sky............. The pain increased He couldn't take it anymore He opened his mouth to scream............ He woke up, as he had every night that week, shivering and gasping for breath He wiped away the blood that dripped down his chin where he had bit through his lower lip, yet again, in his attempts not to scream He looked at his hands, where blood dripped sluggishly from 5 deep crescent shaped gashes His fingers were stiff from gripping the flesh of his hands in such tight fists If he could have seen himself through another's eyes, he would not have recognized himself Haunted violet eyes searched the ground as he rubbed his lips, tinged blue from a mix of the cold and the fact that sometime during his dream he had stopped breathing That couldn't have been a dream, it was so real, I felt like I was dieing all over again His eyes found it, the one useful invention from kagome's time besides insant ramen.
The Exacto Knife
He grabbed it and roughly pulled up his sleeve, searching his arm for any empty spot He cursed His skin, once pale and perfect, was covered almost completely with deep fresh cuts and black and blue bruises Damn! He'd have to start on his other arm He raggedly began cutting deep marks into his arm As the blood dripped down he began thinking of her, of his tainted life How much longer will I live Kagome? How long can I keep suffering before I cant take it anymore? He smiled wryly, How much longer until you realize that I am dieing? That you wont be able to save me a second time? I just cant win, My soul doesn't belong here anymore
I want to scream
For what...?
I don't know
Mercy
Redemption A savior Those things didn't matter to me before, why now? I will never let myself scream, I cant leave you yet His labored breathing began to return to normal He growled sardonically, Nothing can save me now
He was tired, so fucking tired
If he could just let go and say goodbye to his pathetic life, it would be so easy, to just never wake up again Just leave behind all the pain, leave every person who had ever laughed, pointed, or cowered in fear at the sight of him How had this happened How had he gotten into this situation? He couldn't remember anything but the black Not when it was so cold When had it gotten so cold.........? Oh well, whatever, its better then the truth That was before the pain, it took all of his strength not to scream and scream until his screams and the silence blended too one sound in his ears But he couldn't......... If he screamed he would never get out of this................ Blackness? Or whatever it was... He had to fight it Through the pain and the cold he thought he remembered something A hope for a better tomorrow............... It seemed like only a distant memory Cascading black Hair, a soft smell, the gentle caress of some ones gray eyes, the same color as a stormy sky............. The pain increased He couldn't take it anymore He opened his mouth to scream............ He woke up, as he had every night that week, shivering and gasping for breath He wiped away the blood that dripped down his chin where he had bit through his lower lip, yet again, in his attempts not to scream He looked at his hands, where blood dripped sluggishly from 5 deep crescent shaped gashes His fingers were stiff from gripping the flesh of his hands in such tight fists If he could have seen himself through another's eyes, he would not have recognized himself Haunted violet eyes searched the ground as he rubbed his lips, tinged blue from a mix of the cold and the fact that sometime during his dream he had stopped breathing That couldn't have been a dream, it was so real, I felt like I was dieing all over again His eyes found it, the one useful invention from kagome's time besides insant ramen.
The Exacto Knife
He grabbed it and roughly pulled up his sleeve, searching his arm for any empty spot He cursed His skin, once pale and perfect, was covered almost completely with deep fresh cuts and black and blue bruises Damn! He'd have to start on his other arm He raggedly began cutting deep marks into his arm As the blood dripped down he began thinking of her, of his tainted life How much longer will I live Kagome? How long can I keep suffering before I cant take it anymore? He smiled wryly, How much longer until you realize that I am dieing? That you wont be able to save me a second time? I just cant win, My soul doesn't belong here anymore
I want to scream
For what...?
I don't know
Mercy
Redemption A savior Those things didn't matter to me before, why now? I will never let myself scream, I cant leave you yet His labored breathing began to return to normal He growled sardonically, Nothing can save me now