(A/n: Xifa and I wrote this, so go review her stories. Unless you already have. Then review mine, please Um, don't own nuffin that Xifa and I use in this whole story cept the idea and all….)

Chapter 2                                                                                                                                                     

              I closed my eyes, concentration wracking my body. I couldn't win; I just wasn't strong enough. The stronger I was, the more I could get accomplished. The more I got accomplished, and I could go solo as a mercenary.

              I remembered my dead dream to be a journalist. That was long gone. I was only talented in fighting and playing music. So I would settle for fighting for money... But I still wasn't strong enough... I'd have to train harder.Much harder. Until I got a new gunblade, I'd have to settle for practicing my limit breaks.

"Hiya Squall!" Selphie Tilmitt ran up to me.

             Joy to the world. I scowled. Why did she have to interrupt me? I realized another girl was there. But I ignored that fact. Why would she be any different than all the others? I remembered my dream and chills crackled up my spine. They looked like that smart-aleck woman in my dream. Sakura, I think.

"Squall, I want you to meet my identical twin sister," Great. TWO Selphies. That's all I needed.  "Ayane Tilmitt. Ayane, this is my friend Squall Leonheart! "

Wait, Selphie's friend? I looked at her.

"Nothing in the world pleases me more than meeting you."  I said, making my voice as sarcastic as possible. I didn't want to even deal with this girl. I could only imagine her being like Selphie.

 "It's a pleasure as well." to my great surprise, she copied my sarcasm completely. Okay, so maybe she -wasn't- just like Selphie. Good. Well, somewhat.

"Okay! Well, see ya around, Squall! C'mon, Ayane!" The girl followed Selphie silently. They were as different as day and night.

              I fought the monsters in the training center, but didn't really pay attention. No one was different. I couldn't focus, which very much picked me off. I prided myself in being able to focus well, especially in battle. Of course, of course she couldn't be different. Why would she be? She was just another wanna-be who refuses to be who they really are.

              Was this really who I was though? Or is this what I do to keep from getting hurt? If I despised people for not being themselves, then why did I act so different from my true self? Why did denying it make it so much easier? How could being alone help? Did I really wanna be alone forever? That might've been miserable. Would opening up be more miserable? Well, the rude smart-aleck had me thinking about it at least...

              Ayane Tilmitt reappeared in the training center. Whew. No hyper-happy Selphie tagging along. Heh. Look who's back. She looked at me, and I glared back and looked away. I tried to ignore her and continued on with my training. I couldn't help but watch as she drew and cast magic on the nearest monster. She's gonna be exactly the same... but that was no surprise. Why would she be any different at all? So why should I bother checking? What's the point? But...

              ...Why not? What could it hurt? I mean, the worst that could happen is her being the same as everyone else. Right...? It was worth a shot... I had nothing to loose at that point, so I decided for just a few minutes, I would melt the ice in my personality and be normal. Just this once. I walked over to her.

"Nice gunblade."

              I managed not to make my voice cold. Don't ask me how, because I was feeling colder than ever. What was it with this Ayane girl...? She made my insides freeze, but part of me, an annoying, constantly nagging part of me was laughing and saying that I had a different kind of cold feeling going on. And the memories teasing me so often burst to the surface. I pushed them away. This was no time to get nostalgic.

"It could be better, but thanks anyway. Yours is better."

              O--kay, what shifted in her universe? Were my ears deceiving me, or did miss sarcasm just compliment me? Instead of voicing that thought, I shrugged. The memories bubbling to the surface ceased. I wished I hadn't pushed them away. I had made the wrong choice again.

"Thanks, but not by much."

She shrugged, too. "Every little bit helps." What? Geeze, it's Selphie all over again!!! And I thought Ayane was Selphie's evil opposite.... but then again, at that point I didn't really know -what- to think.

"S'pose so... So... what's up?" Was it just me, or did I sound the biggest DORK ever?

"Nothing much, yourself?"

"Not a lot..."

              I was confused, because by now, most people would be either laughing at my awkwardness and or taunting me. I couldn't stand not knowing what to say. Talking was not my style, and naturally, in a word, I sucked at it. But Ayane wasn't laughing, wasn't reacting as most people would. Well, then... she wasn't like most people then. A tiny ray of hope bloomed inside. 

"Well, I'll see ya around, I guess, Ayane." 

              Then I did something I hadn't done in a long time. I smiled sincerely.  But it wasn't all that bad, actually talking to someone without sarcasm. Maybe Sakura had been right. And maybe I should do it more often. Maybe it would help... just a little.

              But I didn't need them. I didn't need anybody! They'd just let me down... I didn't think I could handle that again... not again. I felt, in my past, even if I couldn't remember it, betrayed. Betrayed and lost. I didn't want to open that wound again. 

"See ya around." she nodded.

              I left, ready to go back to training. If I was ever gonna get strong I was going to have to practice. But.... what was I thinking, letting my defense down? Why was I taking the chance? Was it really worth it? Had I found someone different? Possibly, if I was lucky, I might have found a friend.  It's not that I need a friend... it would just be nice to have someone to hang out with. 

              Later that day I was in the library, reading my weapons monthly and trying my best to blend in with the wall. Not an easy thing to do, but I tried to do it quite often. At over 6 feet tall, I towered above a lot of people, and it was kind of hard to blend in. I heard the instructor talking.

"You alrighty Zell?"

Zell was the freak that was obsessed with hot dogs, wasn't he? Great. I hoped he didn't see me.

"Nooooo! On top of my exam today, man.....this day just sucks. So I was looking for someone to practice fighting with since I got my exams today and all... And I see Selphie." So you turned and ran the other way? That's what I would've done. "So I ask Selphie if she'll practice with me and she says okay.  And it turned out she stole Squall's old gunblade" say -what-? Fat chance. "And man.... Selphie must've leveled up."

              Ayane. She looked like Selphie and she had a gunblade. A nice one, at that. So why didn't she beat down Zell while she had the chance? I was losing interest fast. Zell was only begging for Quistis to help him cheat. I looked at my watch. Woah. Was it already that late? I ran out of the library. I knew if I was late for my test, I'd have hell to pay.

              When I arrived, Selphie and Ayane were standing side by side. You couldn't tell them apart, because a miracle had fallen upon the world and Selphie had no flip-do, both looked extremely nervous, and they were in school uniforms. I did my best to act calm and indifferent, trying to convince myself I was gonna do fine and I didn't look like a complete moron.

"Hi Squall." Happy-Hyper-Selphie, of course.

"Yo."

"You nervous?"

Is the sky BLUE? Of course I'm nervous! DUH. But am I actually gonna admit it?

"No." I replied. Everyone had an ego to protect, thank you very much.

              Ayane glared at me. Sorry your highness. She stared back at the floor. Okay. I couldn't believe I thought we'd be able to be friends. Yeah right. No can do. I didn't need her.  I didn't need anybody. Whatever. 

"Wow. You're lucky.... I sure am."

I can't blame her. Who isn't?

"Good luck, both of you." I dunno what made me say that. I didn't really like either of them.

"Thank you." they both said. At once. Okay.... had that been rehearsed?

              Then we were assigned to teams.... I prayed for a team of people who didn't know me, or at least had the sense not to speak to me. But Lady Luck has despised me since birth and..... no other than Zell the hot dog dude marched up to me. Evil-Selphie (Ayane) trailed quietly behind him.

"Well, at least I got put on a good team !"

              Great... CRIPES. I would've preferred to work alone, but it wasn't my choice. I shoved my hands in my pockets. I wasn't ready for this. I wasn't strong enough yet... I ignored the panic.  I had learned to set aside any emotions, because emotions effected judgment, and that wasn't good when you were a SeeD...      

"Man, Selphie, say something to make me not nervous."

              That was Zell. How dumb did they get? This was Ayane, not Selphie, number one it's just plain obvious, number two she wasn't pestering anyone. To my amazement, and great amusement, she clapped her hands and put on a sarcastic grin. How often did you see that?

"Everyhting'll go great." Zell couldn't seriously believe this is Selphie...

"Oh... you're not not-Selphie, aren't you?"

THE NOT SELPHIE?!

"..."

              I couldn't understand why she wasn't beating him down with her gunblade. I was sorely tempted to do so myself. Zell, she had a name... at least learn to use it. I could tell this guy was gonna get on my nerves. We all remained silent until we arrived. I tried not to think. Thinking would make me more nervous, and that would make me fight badly.

              I wanted so bad to become a good SeeD... I wanted to get out of Garden, more likely, but to do that I had to move up through the ranks, get enough money to get me by for a few years, figure out where to go from there. What -would- I do once I was out of Garden...? Well, that was thinking to far ahead. My current goal had to be achieved first.

"Alright Squall, what next?"

              Zell... If I wanted to tell you something, I'd tell you when I was ready. I've given anything to be back at Balamb... But what was waiting for me there? Another meaningless day? Nothing had an essence there... it was all empty, with empty corridors with empty soldiers like me. But mostly empty of meaning.

"Just wait for orders, alright?" I muttered. I wished everyone would just shut up...

Ayane looked up at the Dollet Communication Tower. What was she staring at...?

"There's a monster up there."

"Where?"

Ayane pointed. "It's annihilating people... they need help." 

Well, what were we waiting for?

"But that's not part of our orders...."

              So what? If you followed every little command, then what was the point? Those were people. Humans like he was. Could he not imagine being the one up there, getting hurt? Does it not matter to you they could lose their lives while we sit here and chat?

"Well, tough luck. It's your choice to sit down and watch-" which I've done to many times to be comfortable because of stupid orders- "or go and fight-" which I plan on doing-" Ayane, Zell."

              It was their choice; if they didn't, it would weigh on their conscious forever. I should know. Nothing would stop me from saving those people from the pain they'd have had to endure... Nothing was gonna stop me. If they thought orders will restrain me, they're sorely mistaken! They thought -wrong-. I wiped my face blank of emotions and began to run off. I heard Zell's fading statement, and it made my temper rise in my throat.

"I just don't wanna fail."

              The test outweighed innocent lives in your opinion, huh? And people thought -I- was cold. That was just wrong... When I glanced over my shoulder, Ayane and Zell were following me. Well, at least they cared... a little, I guess. I was sorta glad, I s'pose. I scowled. Why did either of them matter in the slightest to me? I would never have to see them again after this, right? Then I could go back to standing behind my shield. Going back to being alone... I grimaced. For some reason, I was dreading being alone again. Why? It was the only way not to get hurt. People only made life harder on me. So why try and be around them?

"We await your next order!"

              Please... I wished he'd cut the 'you're-the-leader' talk. Besides, this was a test. I was paid to be a mercenary, so I'm not gonna baby-sit. If you couldn't figure thing out yourself, you didn't deserve to be in Garden. You couldn't be a simple minded pacifist, cause fighting and war was for people who thought on their feet, outside the box. Sometimes I didn't know which life I'd rather lead.

"If a fight comes up act on impulse. That's my only advice."

              Cause I wasn't gonna watch their backs. They weren't my responsibility. But time was wasting. The hourglass was running low. We had no time to spare if we wanted to save those people. We, one of my least favorite words. But who cares if I lose points? There's always next year... right? Yeah, but there was no guarantee you'd live till next year. Still... there are times to back off and times to fight. Now it is time to fight.

              I ran up to the Dollet Communication Tower... A girl with dark hair was trying to fight off the monster, an Elenoyle. She had on a light blue tank top and a white skirt. Faint memories stirred again... I clenched my fists in frustration. I didn't have time for my memories now, and later I wouldn't have access to them. I sighed and pulled my gunblade out. Time to see how much I'd improved.

"Squall...?" the girl asked, staring at me, dumbfounded.

              I had to ignore her for the moment... My whole attention was focused on my limit break. Hit after hit and still the Elenoyle didn't come down. I couldn't even tell what Ayane and Zell were doing... I was too focused. It attacked me and I was hesitant to heal myself. I didn't want to leave my limit break... then I didn't think there would be a chance for -any- of us. It was way to strong....

              I winced and the stream of attacks finally stopped. I fell to my knees. The girl cast cure on herself, then on me. I was up again, relentlessly hitting the Elenoyle... I was getting tired. Wasn't my constant barrage enough to bring it down? This was no regular Elenoyle. In a flash of blinding light the girl -and- the Elenoyle were gone. I sighed in relief. Not even bothering to speak to Ayane or Zell, I started back to the base.

              Test results weren't the only thing on my mind as we arrived. Who -was- that girl? And how did she know me? I hardly heard any other of the SeeD wanna-be's as I leaned against the wall, my face blank. No one cared what my emotions were, so why show them? Besides... I was too lost in thought.... Lost in the thought of memories of the past I never had.

"I hope I passed!" only Selphie Tilmitt could sound so excited and optimistic... 

"You're not the only one."

"Me too." I blurted out, and scowled.

              It was none of their business if I cared about passing or not. I was prolly gonna fail after that stunt I pulled... but it was worth it. That girl's life was important; it was also the little matter of the fact she stirs a part of my past in my mind.

              Here came Cid... I stood up a little straighter. For once in my life, I wanted to do something and I actually cared about how good I did. If I failed, it would leave a serious dent in my ego. But most of all, I cared about passing to prove to people I can make something of myself. Because plenty of people saw me as a non-existent nobody. I felt an urge to prove them wrong.

"Could I see..." -Please, please call my name! - "Seifer"- great, my worst enemy made it, if I failed, he would never let me live it down- "Raijin, Squall" -yes! - "Selphie Zell, and Ayane?"

Don't ask me how Zell passed. He wasn't too terribly awful, but he wasn't great either. But hey, I was far from great, so... yeah...

"Congratulations, all of you. You've just passed your SeeD exam."

              Thank God....I heard Raijin whoop, saw Selphie grin... For once, I was happy for them. I realized Ayane had made no reaction at all. Did this not matter to her at all...? Whatever. Girls were impossible to understand anyways...

              I looked at my paper, not really listening to a word Cid was saying. But I did pick up inauguration party. The last thing I needed was a party... I sighed with relief. That was close. I passed by only ONE POINT. To close for comfort. I might as well've failed with the points I got... And a party... great. I was prolly gonna happen to be 'sick'. In the future, looking back on it, I wondered what would have happened if things had gone the other way. I didn't wanna find out, cause then everything would be just the way I wanted it.